`blessed child of God (:

2010-05-12T00:30:00.000+08:00

it's time to let go...

2010-03-02T02:24:00.000+08:00

that was all that was needed to convince me it's only a fairytale...

2009-12-31T00:32:00.002+08:00

OMG OMG OMG!
tns teacher got back to me!
HOD of GEP somemore!!!
she asked for my contact number so that another teacher can contact me
as they need a relief teacher for english during the first week of school!
so cool!
weird thing is, i tried to send in my relief teaching application TWICE
but both times bounced back.
so how can it ba, that she still received it?
could it be God's will? (:
so anyway, i replied her email already.
hopefully i'll hear from them soon. (:

i'm so excited!
but still, a little worried as...
i got a tutee today!
sec4 o level student, teaching her combined phy/chem.
abit not so confident as i wanted to teach math all along.
but i'll try my best ba.
so if i take up relief teaching too,
i'll be juggling with 3 jobs plus church and other commitments.
sigh, dont know if i shld quit one or not..
see how ba.

so anyway, had thanksgiving for ycg today!
we worshipped and then each shared a testimony,
something to thank God for.
well, i cried while sharing!
and so did my sis heh.
i shared about how God saw me through JC life, my As,
my drumming ministry, track.
how i was nothing in everyone's eyes but so so much in God's eyes.
how i'm thankful to God for my friends who walked and journeyed with me through 2009.
it has been a crazy year that just swept by in a twinkling of an eye.
but i'm glad i had God with me all this while. (:

last day of 2009!
gonna spend it with the sixteen.
not sure what the programme is,
but just gonna relax and enjoy!
cuz 2010 is gonna have a rough start for me. :/
but i'm gonna grow closer and look more to God,
for i know He has the best plans for me!

see you never again, 2009!

2009-12-30T00:17:00.004+08:00

somehow i feel like ranting today heh.
i know i havent been blogging in a LOOONNGGG while.
but here i am, arent i? :D

well, a lil update abt my life...
As are finally OVERRRR!
WOOHOOOOO!!
i'm really happy it's over but at the same time, worried?
and also, i'm like so bored tho i'm working.
kinda missed the studying days already.
sigh, really shldn't have taken things for granted and treasure the time i was studying..
sounds ironic from my previous post yea?

but honestly, as i was taking my As,
i kinda liked doing it, as in the questions.
i found them doable, unlike AJ questions.
tho there were some i couldnt do, i felt that i did what i could already.
and i guess, the rest is up to God.

met up with the track girls of batch 08 on monday.
really had a great time catching up with them.
tho i felt a lil left out when they were talking abt their uni life and all,
i was still excited just listening to them.
there's so much stuff going on in uni.
and i'm kinda glad i get to hear them talk abt it.
cuz then i'm prepared, i wont be that afraid of uni and all.
and then i decided that i REALLY wanna go uni.
if only, it's God's will...

i wanna go back to studying again.
and this time, i hope i wont be so foolish anymore.
i hope i'll really treasure every single opportunity and make the best out of my life,
just as God wants me to.

so well, we had astons!
and then ben and jerry heh.
and they gave me my really belated birthday present!
but i still appreciate and like it. :D
thanks so much girls!
i really treasure our friendship and hope we'll keep meeting up like that
and not lose contact with each other!
loves. (:

so anyway, i've been working.
at haagen dazs.
been trying to look for other jobs.
tried to sign up for relief teaching.
was approved by MOE.
but couldnt send in my applications to TNS and TK
cuz somehow the email bounced back.
wanted to go down on monday but the teachers ic weren't around. :/
but then now clar got another job for me.
admin and slack and kinda high paying.
but gahh! i dont know where the relief teaching thingy will get back to me.
and i dont wanna rot at home in the meantime. ):
pray that God will open doors for me!

ohh and i wanna give tuition too.
but cant find tutees!
but as i was thinking abt this,
i think God kinda spoke to my heart.
like if i'm really passionate abt teaching,
why dont offer my services to the free tuition in church.
altho i dont know if i'm capable or not,
i think i'll ask alvin or approach sister susan or teacher jo soon ba.
see if i can help in any way. (:

so anyway, we've been quarreling so much lately. ):
but i know deep down inside, i still want and treasure this relationship.
if it's God's will, i guess we'll pull through ba. (:
but i still hope things can go back to the way they used to be.

alright, that's abt it for my life so far.
will try and update regularly hahah.

meeting xuan and other taonanites next thur hopefully!
cant wait. :D

CHANGED

2009-07-06T02:39:00.002+08:00

mid year exams are finally over.
so i'm back to blog, or rather, RANT. BIG TIME.
sorry for the deadness for awhile.

let me first rant about my mid years.
i've only got four words to describe it.
I.AM.SO.DEAD.

so not joking over here.
i'm not those kind who will keep saying stuff like,
i never study, sure fail,
and yet, they still pass, with FLYING COLOURS somemore.
when i say i'm gonna fail, i really am..

the saddest thing about this mid years is that,
i felt that this is the first june holiday that i really made effort to study,
and study the most,
compared to all the holidays i've ever had.
and yet, i still cant do the papers.
i dont know what does that mean..

well, i was quite upset and wanted to give up studying,
but faith like potatoes encouraged me. (:
no matter how tired or how disappointed i am,
i'm gonna try.
and it's not only small talk hor.
today, i packed my room from 10.30pm to 1am
cuz it was in a mess with notes flying all over
due to studying for mid years.
and now, i'm ready for the new mugging season.
I THINK.
gonna start doing up my study plan already.
it's like 3 more months to As!
feeling quite kan jiong already,
with like at least 20 topics for each subject.
but i just gotta trust God ba.
and have more self discipline and time management!

for now, i'll just pray that i wont get into any big trouble for my results.
even tho i dont know what are they yet,
i'm quite sure there'll be many Us.
and cuz i'm a retainee, i'll probably be in alot of trouble.
from teachers, principal and dad.
like what Mr Herd said,
i'm a PROBLEM CHILD. =/

alright, enuf about exams and school.
the secondary purpose of this post is to rant abt somebody.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HER!
she's acting totally like a.. ARGH!
i cant find the right word to use.
she's just CHANGED.
all that bad influence over there, it's insane.
she can talk to her friends there like so sweet and nice.
OHH I LOVE YOU TOO!
that kinda thing.
but to US, she talks as if we're strangers to her.
if not strangers, it's like as if we're probing too much and she's irritated
like HELLO?! WE ARE CONCERNED!
YOU DONT CALL, DONT EMAIL, THEN WHAT YOU WANT US TO DO!
AND SHE DIDNT EVEN OBJECT TO YOU-KNOW-WHAT, MIND YOU!
you are the one jumping to conclusions, not her!
ARGH.
like what on earth is wrong with you!
sigh, i just hope you dont regret it one day..
when u realise all u had, is gone...

I.AM.SO.DISAPPOINTED.HURT.STUMBLED.

i'm done here.

2009-06-10T00:04:00.003+08:00

MUGGING IN PROGRESS.
(hopefully)

await my post!
soon enuf. =/

2009-05-25T01:12:00.011+08:00

well, lately everything is going way way HORRIBLE.
i dont even know where to start ranting.
or mayb people are getting sick of me ranting.

AAHHHHH i just needa go some place and shout it all out.
cuz nowadays, crying dont seem to help.
so mayb shouting will..

and sigh, i hate to admit,
but i think i'm changing,
changing into a very short-tempered
and easily irritated person.
and the ironic thing is that,
i've been saying how change is a scary thing.
yet, the same is happening to myself.

how can i stop it.
mayb, keep myself happy?
how to keep myself happy,
i'm thinking...
and thinking...
and thinking..
final answer: NO ANSWER.

verdict is, I NEED TO EAT ICE CREAM NOW.

okay, i'll try HAPPY THOTS now.
had like KILLER training on friday.
berenice from rgs came to aj to train.
and we did like 200m reps.
min was six and max was eight.
so guess how many i did?
like EIGHT TIMES LAH!
i still cant believe i did so many.
but the last two times was just to accompany berenice
if not she'll be running alone with the guys.

well, i struggled like mad.
it's like so much latic acid at my hamstrings and quartz.
but i didnt wanna give up or stop or finish with a lousy timing.
so even tho i have no more competitions already,
i still just whack all the way.
my timings were:
37s, 35s, 35s, 35s, 35s, 34s, 35s and 33.5s.
it's CRAZY i tell you.
and coach was impressed too!
hahah.
and den he went on to say how i shld continue with track in uni.
continue running for another at least 3 years
so that my talent and efforts will not go to waste.

well, i'm still considering lah.
first thing first,
dont even know can go uni anot. =/
hopefully, by God's grace, i can.
den think again lo.
cuz might be abit sian of running le.
yet at the same time, dont really wanna give up track.
what a dilemma.
i'll just leave the thinking for the future.

right now, it's the As i'm fighting.

other happy thots include:
every moment spent with you.
minus all the lil arguements we had.
spending time with God.
hof and sunday service.

other than that, I FEEL LIKE SHIT now.

alright, enuf ranting and grumbling.
gonna try and do tutorials now.
HATE THEM.
sigh.

i'm OUT.

i miss those times when u were my wall.
if i hadnt acted on impulse then,
would things be better now?
would we have had a better friendship first?
would we have walk right with God?
would we not have bickered over lil and insignificant things?

sigh, all in all,
i know i still i love you..

GP ESSSAAAYYY!

2009-05-19T00:02:00.002+08:00

ahhh why are my classmates all so hardworking? ):
my teacher forgot that we had to hand in an essay today!
cuz he was on mc last week and a relief teacher took over,
and asked us to write an essay over the weekend.
so my guess is he dint tell my teacher abt the homework.
but RRAAAHH. the gp rep is gonna tell him either tmr or wed.
so GREAT. i have to do it in the end. ):

so anyway, SPA IS FINALLY OVERRRRR!!
and i dont mean the bubbles and in hot tub kind.
*I WISH. hahah.
i meant like practicals!
WOOHOO.
so now it's down to As.

rahh my teachers are all going at a super fast speed for tutorials.
just when i thought i caught up with the class,
with many many many hours spent on doing that particular tutorial,
but the teacher used only ONE tutorial, and he/she is done.
and i'm lagging AGAIN.
OH MY GOSH.
when i ever gonna be on par with the teacher. -.-

i shall stop ranting before i start to rant.
hahah so dont make sense.

right, let me talk about sth happier!
TRAINING, RUNNING, WOOOHOOO.
even though training has been quite crazy,
i'm still enjoying every moment of it.
did like 5X200m last friday.
my timing was 38s, 37s, 35s, 34s and 33s.
yea, it's a downwards curve,
not so good cuz coach want straight line curve.
but i think it's a real achievement for me,
considering the fact that i havent been training for quite awhile heh.

and today, we did some crazy drill.
backward run, swiftly turn and sprint, jog,
backward run, swiftly turn and sprint and DISPERSE.
what's so funny abt that word i dont know,
cuz the track girls kept laughing at it heh.
and we did like FOUR times of that.

later it was starting blocks.
MY REACTION TIME IS SUPER SLOW CAN!
aiyo, very chi dun. ahhh.
and just when we thought we could cool down and go home,
coach said, DO 120m.
TWO TIMES CURVE, THREE TIMES STRAIGHT.
and all our jaws dropped hahah.
but den ms cai had me do sth,
so i missed one.
in the end they did 3 curves and 2 straight
while i did 2 each.
think coach changed cuz of me. =/
but anyway, it was just INSANE.
i did like 18.3s, 18.1s, 18.1s and 17.6s.
straight is much easier to run,
so dont be surprised at the difference in timing heh.
but anyway, other than the latic acid which hurt like mad,
the run was SHIOK. :D

okay back to boring stuff.
not much accomplisment for this week.
mayb just let me see if i managed to do anything on my TO DO LIST.

well, i finished one physics tutorial,
completed descriptive stats,
studied for phy spa skill A.
and that's about it.

hw due tmr: GP ESSSAAYYY!
so dead.
gonna try and do now.
but i still want my sleep! rahh.

OHH OHH!
and it's SAKAE BUFFET WITH DEAREST TMR!
cuz no afternoon PE!
WOOHOO!

SAKAE, HERE I COME! :D

hw, hw and more hw!

2009-05-14T00:51:00.003+08:00

HEEEEYYY!

sorry my blog died again for a few days.
keep falling aslp before turning off the laptop.
think my mum quite pekchek. =/
i dont blame her.
i think i'm gonna cause the electricity bill to go up this month!
rahh.

anyway, school has been horrible.
today got scolded by Ms Zhu cuz forgot all about geog hw. ):
i know she did it for our own good,
so i dont blame her at all.
but someone LIED.
sigh i'm so disappointed.
how can she say she looked thru the questions when just the period before,
she asked me the questions are from where..
totally unbelievable argh.

honestly, i hate that mugger place.
cant wait for As to end so i can finally leave that horrible place.
it's like fighting an endless war everyday.
trying to stay awake or not get caught for sleeping.
but it's just so difficult!
it's not that i'm not trying.
and i really really miss SHIRLEY ANG!
she was the one who helped me alot when i was in my 1st j1 year.
she BOTHERED to remind me abt hw and stuff to bring,
cuz she knows how forgetful i am,
EVEN after i wrote it down.
but now, NOONE.
who cares about virnice ng,
all i needa care about is myself.
HAHA.

ahhh whatever.
i should really stop being so judgemental
and just look at the state i am in.
mayb it's because i dont look bothered abt my studies
that's why nobody bothers to help.

rahh who cares.
all i know is i'm on my own now.
only reliable source of help: GOD.
i guess all i can do now is to try and be more discipline,
mug hard and trust God. (:

here are my accomplisments for this week till today!

#1
i finally packed my geog notes and binded them!
and i think i've integrated them.
hopefully, it's in the way Ms Zhu meant. =/

#2
i'm at least TRYING to do my physics tutorials.

#3
i PASSED my math common test!
it's really by God's grace i tell you.
left almost one whole question blank out of 3 questions,
and that question has the largest weightage.
but thank God i got 60%. (:

#4
i actually cut and printed out newspaper articles!
topic was on religion. but yay i finally did it.

i think that's abt all?

ohh ya!
and i had training today.
it was WWWOOOOOOHOOOOOO!
feels shiok to run again after so long!
even tho work out was quite a killer,
considering the fact that we havent been training for so long.
but still! it was nice! :D
ran four times of 120m, two curves and two straight.
timing was 19s, 18.6s, 17.8s and 18.0s.
quite consistent ba, so YAY. :D

and now, for my TO DO LIST!

#1
complete ALL incompleted physics tutorial.

#2
complete carboxylic tutorial.

#3
complete descriptive stats tutorial and sampling theory tutorial.

#4
study for phy SPA skill A! =/

#5
study for chem test: chem eqm, IE and ALL of organic chem till carbonyl. ):

#6
DO GEOG HW.

that's all for NOW.
dont know how i'm gonna do it.
RAAHHH.
God please help me. ):

alright,
i'll stop ranting here!
and i shld really start work now cuz descriptive stats is due tmr!
AAAAHHH.

perfect world, so NOT.

2009-05-07T23:50:00.002+08:00

hmm, well, i've been emo-ing and moody-ing lots today.
mainly cuz of my studies.
feel like i'm lagging behind, not catching up at all.
instead, i'm falling more and more behind.
i have no idea what's going on for physics, since FOREVER.
chemistry, since today.
math, since stats.
geog, since i dont even know when.
and I'M TAKING MY STUPID A LEVELS THIS YEAR.

the worst thing is, i dont even feel that i have anyone to turn to for help in my studies.
when i tell the adults, they say this is REALITY.
it's a cruel world out there and i'm on my OWN.

but you know what?
things could have been so different.
if only i had work harder when i was in j1 2007.
if only i could adapt to jc life faster.
if only i had managed my time properly.
if only now i had angela, clarissa and the other track girls to study with,
to ask for help in my studies when i needed.
if only i could study with darr.
if only shirley was with me.
if only i didnt retain.
IF ONLY.
the two of the worst words in the english dictionary.

i dont think i've ever felt so alone before in my life.
and i've been neglecting God too..
mayb that's why i'm feeling this way now..

I TOTALLY DESERVE IT.
I ASKED FOR IT.

have you ever ran a race and lagged behind so much that you cant find the motivation to push yourself any harder?
that's how i'm feeling right now.
everyone's in front and i'm all alone behind.

this is probably the 100th time i'm telling myself i can do it.
it's almost the end and i'm reaching.
but mayb i'm not gonna make it for the 101st time..

studies aside, there are other issues bothering me as well.
work, which my mum is really unhappy about.
track, which i think will close down soon cuz too much veggie.
bf, whom i miss like crazy.
dad, whom keep asking me abt my studies and bought this laptop for my education in uni.
which means, i'm like so DEAD if dont make it.
people, whose judgemental glances are putting me down.

i feel like giving up on my studies.
it's like never ending, and i'm not getting anywhere.
but at the same time, i dont wanna disappoint the people around me, who care for and love me..

sigh. i dont know what i shld do now..
it's really discouraging and demoralizing to keep failing your tests.
and i dont have much self discipline.
CRAP.
RAHH.

let's change topic ba.

well, i was just like looking at all the past photos that i took.
mostly at tanjong katong sec, track and stuff.
i look so fat then!
and i just suddenly started to recall those sec school days,
finishing school at 2 plus,
crossing the overhead bridge to take 33 home,
going to tampines stadium for training,
interclass netball,
1E 03/2E 04,
3G 05/4G 06,
times spent with shuyi, clar, weiqi, stef and other trackers,
with shan, nik, weirong,
taking lame photos with anne, yeok fei, ppk, rachel bok,
those childish conflicts,
chicken rice and crabmeat, etc.
and I REALLY REALLY REALLY MISS THOSE GOOD OLD DAYS.
where we were all still so young and innocent.
carefree, childish and playful.
i just wish i could turn back time and return to all those good times.
and now, just looking at my friends and the drastic changes that occurred,
really gives me a big shock and kinda saddens me..

i know people change.
but i guess i just dont know how to handle these changes.

alright, i'll end my crap here for today,
gonna TRY and study now sigh.
it's tutorial day tmr.
OHH YAY.

imagine a world where we had no choice.
no choice but to believe in God.
no choice but to do good all the time.
will we all go to heaven then?

MATH COMMON TEST!

2009-05-05T01:09:00.002+08:00

rahh i dont know what am i doing here when i have math common test tmr!
and i havent really studied for it. =/
it's gonna test on vectors, probability, binomial, poisson and normal distribution.
it's like YUCKS.
how come everyone says stats it's easy but it's not!
i know it's just keying numbers into the GC,
but i dont know what to key!
mayb i'm just pure dumb. ):

ohh ya, and apparently, tmr during the math test,
we're gonna have to take temperature. -.-
and i'm down with flu now!
keep sneezing non stop. ):
keep me in prayer everyone!

other than that, today is like every other day, BORING.

ohh ohh, and no more chem spa FOREVER!
thank God for giving me a good memory today.
even tho i studied skill A like quite last minute,
and i know i have one or two mistakes already,
i still wanna thank God that i managed to remember all those words
and even managed to finish on time!
WOOTS. praise God. (:

okay, gonna go MUG now.
BYEBYE BRAINS.

missing you.. ):

BLOG REVIVED

2009-05-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

HEEELLLOOOOO EVERYONE! :D

haha this is gonna be a short post.
thanks to shawn, i'm reminded of this blog!
wanted to create a new one but was too lazy to do so heh.
so found this one and decided to use it again!
it's actually quite nice, my taste not bad hehe. :P

anyway, i got chem SPA for skill A tmr!
so so dead.
gonna go MUG now.
hate JC life.
cant wait for it to end. ):

hear from me soon! (:

2007-12-14T14:30:00.000+08:00

okay, lots to update again.
but definitely lesser than the previous post.
so no worries. :D

let's start from monday.
hmm, had training.
and i did hurdles! woots. :D
but sth eeeww happened.
i dropped the hurdles to the ground,
and two brown things fell out.
at first i thot it was the nails of the hurdles or sth,
but it's actually, two disgusting LIZARDS!
EEEWWWW!
it was super sick please.
and i promise nvr to take those red hurdles again. hah.

all the girls went home after training.
some going work
while me and clar had to get the stuff for the bbq
and also the cards and cookies for the seniors.
i was ultra late cuz i hadta finish doing some stuff. :D
and i knew it!
couldnt trust the guys to buy the food and stuff for bbq, hah!
that ching wan lah!
buy so much unneccessary stuff, haha.
chilli sauce, tomato sause, SESAME OIL! -.-
and some girls brought the team bag! :D

it started to pour and most of us were wet.
plus alot of stuff to carry and my arms were breaking. =/
and the chalet is eeewww lah!

lizard shit on the pillow!
what's wrong with lizards these days! RAHH.
and the place was relatively small.
the tv is at some sai spot,
where all of us have to look up at it,
and den suffer from neck cramps. -.-

but thank God the bbq pit was portable.
so we could bring it in when it started to rain. heh.
but overall, this was one of the most boring chalet i went to? =/
and only FOUR seniors came lah. -.-
still, thankful for them. (:

second day at chalet was arcade and tv and slack.
we slept alot on the second night.
first night we knocked out at 5 plus. heh.

and i gave darr a surprise! :D
well, not exactly cuz he already guessed that i was gonna pick him up.
but he thot i was waiting for him at his hse.
his mum even helped me by telling him to wait at the rjc bus stop
and that she will pick him frm there.

so yea, i popped up from behind and scared him!
his reaction very big lah.
he thot someone trying to attack him frm the back or sth.
hehe. super fun please. :D

so i guess the surprise was overall a success.
special thanks to Mr and Mrs Ling,
and not forgetting, gerald ling!
who helped with the planning of the surprise.
and also, giving me directions to rjc,
and help whenever i needed and panicked!
thanks you so much! :D

back at his hse,
we had dinner tgt.
and genevieve and gilbert stick with me the whole way thru! :D
they kept wanting me to play all those finger games with them.
super cute please.
and darr bought some dumb pen which electic-shocks ppl when pressed.
that made the two small ones screamed and ran away frm him.
i had to PROTECT them. :D
and his mum was getting pissed at genevieve's scream. =/
but ohh well, it was enjoyable. :D
and i went back to the chalet after that.

hmm, we checked out at 10.30am the next day.
and went for breakfast at whitesands.
den i bought bubble tea for mum and sis and myself. :D

after showering, went to meet darr to study at suntec macs.
not so productive as i was kinda tired.
and couldnt solve that stupid math question, argh. ):
darr was studying phy so i dint wanna distract him. =/

ohh well, g12 after that!
so many million years nvr go g12 already lah!
THREE WEEKS! hah.
miss the singing, the praying, the lesson, the fellowshipping!
and not forgetting, MACKIE! :D
as usual, all that teasing abt my blackness came up.
hah, used to it already. :D

thursday was outing with US(:!
wanted to go ice skating at kallang but it was super ex. =/
so in the end dint go.
but we had pastamania for lunch!
and discussed stuff for the bbq on sat.
and also, snow ice! :D
plus yogurt. hah.
miss them so much! :D

went home about 5 and gave my lil sisters tuition.
they are difficult ppl to teach. =/
i admit i scolded alot, but they really deserve it lah.
and so many assessments incomplete.
no wonder they did so badly for their final years.
TSKTSK.

dad came back while i was tuitioning them halfway.
come back for 10 days i think.
hope he'll go cell and church! =/

and anyway, we had fei fei for dinner!
supposed to eat with US(: earlier that day.
but thank God they changed plans and ate pastamania.
if not i would have ate fei fei twice! heh. :D

it was yummy.
so long never eat le.
last time everyday go sch will pass by there.
den sometimes we'll go there to eat.
it's wanton mee anyway. :D
and yupp, it was delicious! :D
loved the soup, slurp!

and was supposed to mug overnight.
but it was cancelled.
and i couldnt motivate myself to study at home. ):
how how! retest is in two weeks!
and i'm running out of time!
so much to study, so much to do,
but so LITTLE time! ):

i know it's my own fault lah,
always doing last minute things.
but i really cant motivate myself to study?
cuz i seriously dont feel like continuing in JC. =/
sigh, God please help me. ):

and it was training this morning.
attendance was super shitty.
apparantly, Mr HONG SHAO MING
passed his flu to many track members during the chalet.
only the strongest and the fittest survive! :D
and so yea, many dint turn up today cuz sick.

and training was quite xiong?
i think it's cuz of the shorter rest time due to lesser people.
den complete work out faster mah.
so shorter rest time.
and it was super tiring.
another version of suicides.
the one where u run up and down and further each time.
super chuan please.
and i was sweating as if it was raining. hah.

as expected, training ended early.
i know coach too well.
he doesnt like to train small grp.
cuz not enuf competition to do time runs.
and den it becomes pointless.

hmm, bubble tea and sumo house after training! :D
nice food, and FATS. =/

okay, gonna practise my drums,
study a bit,
go hof,
and den prob mug overnight myself.

till then, SEEYA. :D

2007-12-09T23:57:00.000+08:00

**WARNING: what you're about to read is a super duper long post by virnice ng.
so dont start if you dont think you have the stamina to finish reading it. cuz once you start, there's no turning back. :D

hello hello everyone!
miss me? :D
well, i know my blog is dying.
so i'm here to revive it again! :D

okay, so many things have happened.
and i havent been updating.
ahhh, i dont know where to begin.

okay lah.
random again.
no choice. =/
but i try to go in chronological order! :D

#1
the friday before i left for Davao,
we went to source for cs present.
it was =/ cuz i had a super big quarrel with you-know-who.
but then again, thank God for that quarrel.
cuz it's normal and it makes a relationship stronger. :D

#2
17november2007
met up with mic and jas and ern earlier, before outreach to do up cs card/dice.
it's super cool pls, cuz it's my idea. :D
and so are the relightable candles. :D

so yea, we all the way act as tho we not preparing anything for him.
but aiyah, anyone would have guess we surely will celebrate his bday with him.
went to fareast and ate at some random shop.
mic told him she couldnt make it but actually she went to collect his cookie cake.
gab rushed over after his CIP.
me and nel gave excuse, just so nel could sign his card.

and everyone was so kanjiong lah.
cuz quite late already.
and hungry people are angry people. :D
so yea, mic and gab came up shortly after me and nel,
and surprised cs frm the back!

of course, we attracted like super lots of attention.
but who cares. :D
you shld have seen cs face while he desperately tried to blow off the candles.
hahaha! xD

and the enthusiasm of the aunty in that shop!
she kept asking us to help him blow!
haha, it was super hilarious pls. :D

so okay, i saved the day by putting out the unblowable candles. :D
in a bubble tea cup full of water and pearls.
HAH. :D

and den it was photo taking outside far east.
everyone took turns to take photo.
and some random stranger kindly just approach us to offer his help!
how nice. :D

#3
abit abt outreach.
it was quite good!
i talked to some kids.
qiang qiang? xiao qiang? fifi!
haha, they were simply adorable. :D
and they eat super alot! hah.
hope they'll come to church! :D

#4

#5
the day i left for the POR4 trip.
had training in the morning while darr had gym.
we met up after that cuz he wanted to pei me buy some last min stuff.
i was feeling quite kan jiong and all.
cuz scared forget to buy anything/something.

and before we parted, i cried. =/
like really bad please.
dont know why, but i just feel that going away for so long, we'll drift apart?
scares me alot.
and of cuz, all that she bu de.
so i cried. but it came as NOT a surprise to him.
bleah, he said he would be surprised if i dint cry. -.-

so anyway, met up with jasmine gan after that.
she also pei me buy my last min stuff!
like the candies for the children there at Davao.
and some stuff frm popular.
and formal shoes!
everything was so rushy pls.
but thank God for jasmine gan. :D
no her, no company, no candies, no shoes. :D

#6
i felt so nervous and anxious while packing my luggage lah.
really scared i forget to bring stuff and all.
and i squeezed everything into one relatively small luggage
tgt with a haversack, hah. :D

parting at the airport was ):
it was the first time i was travelling alone?
as in no mum, no dad, no sisters. just me. =/
i was excited yet scared at the same time.
dont know what to expect but know that God has great things ahead for me. :D
which He really showed me during the POR4 trip,
and which i will further elaborate later. :D

so yea, guess everyone of my family members were feeling quite she bu de?
i hope. :D
and thank God for ah khit who was so nice to give us a life to the airport.
darr couldnt send me off cuz he had leaders meeting.
i was disappointed but glad at the same time cuz he dint choose me over God. :D
and and, first time i hear my younger sisters say they will miss me!
hah, it's a miracle. :D
ohh, and thank you gang, EXCEPT FOR NELYWN NG,
for the well wishes before i left. :D

who says partings were gonna be easy. ):

#7
POR4 trip.
i dont know what to say.
it was simply meaningful, fruitful, powerful, eye-opener, reviving, life-transforming,
and an experience of a lifetime.
an experience that i definitely would want to have again. (:
it was AWESOME. :D

hmm, if i were to go into details of our daily activities,
i guess nobody would ever want to come to my naggy blog again. heh.
so i'll just highlight the main events.

well, sad to say, the devil was trying to spoil the trip in every way that he could,
all the way, throughout the whole trip.
first, our flight was delayed.
then, we had transportation problems.
plans had to be cancelled cuz of the rain.
car keys left inside the cars.
motion sickness for some of us.
and many others.
but i'm glad that didnt stop the peacemakers frm achieving our goals for the trip.
God is so good. :D

of cuz, the highlights would definitely be the visitation to the tribal churches.
their worship was incredible and would move you to tears.
God's presence could be felt so strongly in our midst.
and it really warms my heart to see that even the children are singing to God wholeheartedly.
they were not self-conscious.
they didnt care who was looking at them.
they didnt care if they sang out of tune.
they didnt care what was happening ard them.
it was like, all they wanted to do at that moment,
was to worship God, with all their hearts, minds and souls.
it was truly an amazing sight.
and indeed, touching and life-transforming. (:

the city church wasnt any different.
they were blessed with better instruments.
and worship was pretty jumpy and super hyped up. :D

the people there were really friendly.
and were really hospitable.
they really treated us really well.
and not to mention, fed us well.
both spiritually and physical. :D

another highlight is the yellowren!
it was, WOOOOTS! :D
altho most of the songs were in english,
they still touched hearts.
100 decisions for the Lord, AMEN! :D
and i was usher!
so cool hor. :D

and also, hearts on fire service at EFC Davao!
because the grp there was very small, compared to ours,
they could carry out games after the service.
it was really fun.
we got to do skits, cheers, news reporting and musical on the title of the sermon that day!
that is, FAITH. :D

ohh yes, let me give you a few facts about Davao.
1. mosquitoes were HUGE in the tribal areas.
2. their way of living was super traditional.
e.g. they reared farm animals and roasted pigs on a bamboo stick!
3. the tribal areas are much cooler than the city areas.
4. rice is everywhere! breakfast rice, lunch rice, dinner rice!
5. and chicken, chicken, chicken! hah.
6. everything there is CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP. :D
7. sun rises at 5am and sets at 5pm.
8. light reflectors are used on roads instead of lamp posts. ( save electricity! :D )
9. they only had one public transport, some kind of mini bus! also known as jeepies.
10. they dont have JC, only high sch and den college, which is actually university.

and that's all for now.
at least not until i think of other facts. heh.

so overall, i really gain alot and learn alot frm this trip.
and of course, made new friends.
i hope to visit Davao again one day! :D
thank God for enabling me to go on this trip. :D

#8
side track abit, jessica and ber were my room mates!
and jessica turned out to be not as scary as i thot!
haha, it was crazy.
or rather, she was crazy. HAH. :D
i cant believe i thot she was SCARY.
so totally opposite lah.
she's really nice to talk to and hang out with.
we talked alot bout him and him during the trip.
haha. it was just great knowing her more thru this POR4. :D

#9
okay, that day when we reached back spore,
i was totally kan jiong and i dont know why.
the moment we landed, my hands started to sweat like crazy pls.
haha, all of us missed home so much.
and darr came to pick me! :D
so did my mum and cousin.
nel spoilt the surprise but it didnt matter.
cuz the fact is, he went to pick me up frm the airport! :D
sth i thot he wouldnt do cuz my flight was really late.
and it was really far for him.
but well, he hadta arrange to meet his frens for some overnighting thingy.
thots felt, effort appreciated! :D

#10
so okay, i totally dint get to rest after the trip lah.
next day went to help out at tkk camp, amazing amazonia.
and i am not regretting a single bit that i went to help out,
instead of staying home to rest.
i'm glad that i was of some help to the tkk teachers and teacher jac.
some of the tkk teachers used to be MY tkk teachers. hah.
and i'm really touched by the tkk teachers.
i can tell that they really love the children of God, alot.
all those time and effort put into the preparation of this tkk camp,
are definitely not wasted and definitely worth it.
God sees, God knows and God will bless. :D

my grp was TOUCAN! :D
all of them were really cute.
leader is denise and she's really pretty! :D
and assistant leader was prasant.
members were mark, jing hao, ivan, michelle, melissa, sara, nicole, fang ting and amabel.

initially, they were all quite shy i guess.
and not so enthu in the activities.
but i really loved the skit!
the parable of the lost son.
jing hao was so cute please!
EARTHQUAKE! :D
and prasant and him acted really well for the father and son part.
mark was equally cute too!
HMPH. hahah. :D

the children were fantastic throughout the camp.
and even tho they got many scoldings, it did not dampen their spirits.
i'm also glad they learn frm their mistakes, face up to it,
and den change.
that's how they learn and grow. :D

partor marion and uncle chye shared for the night services.
while teacher baoru and teacher kristen shared for the morning services.
i believe the children were touched by the word of God
and will hopefully, prayerfully, change for the better. :D

thank God for a wonderful and meaningful tkk camp!
the children learnt sth, and so did i! :D
*the greatest miracle is a changed life.

#11
and finally! went for hof on friday! :D
it was sweet november!
but that =/ part was, i had to testify for POR4.
it was definitely a privilege but i was so afraid i wasnt up to it.
but thank God for bringing me thru.
frankly, i only prepared my testimony a few hours before hof! =/
cuz got tkk camp and all.
simply no time and i was super stressed out lah.
but thank God for ernest nah, jasmine gan, michelle gan, nelywn ng, choo shuin and gabriel ling,
for their valuable advice, without which, i wouldnt be able to come up with a proper testimony.

hmm, it was my first time going up on stage ALONE.
all that lightings on me, all that pressure on me.
my hands were sweating profusely,
and my legs couldnt stop shaking.
basically, i was nervous to the max lah.

during my speech, i made awkward and long pauses.
cuz my script was so messy, i had to keep looking for where i stopped at,
after each time i looked up and gave the audience some eye contact.
it was really scary, standing up there.
with so many eyes on you lah.
there were many ERMS. and ERR. and YA.
expected lah pls. hah.

but overall, i'm glad my testimony was able to bless and touch hearts.
a few people like gerald chia, baoli, christopher, jasmine pow, kirk and others,
came up to me and thank me for a really good testimony.
they said it blessed their hearts.
and somehow, all that anxiety, all that worry, all that paiseh-ness were all gone.
just like that.
PRAISE THE LORD! :D
really thank God for His faithfulness and goodness in my life. :D

#12
heart.sports was ):
i was so looking forward to it lah.
cuz they had captain's ball.
and i totally spoil it.
thanks to my fitness level that dropped drastically due to stop in trainings.

1st match against reg c was okay.
but i got breathless even before half time!
and i could feel myself slowing down alot.
also, cuz i was the defender at the box, i had to jump alot.
and i think that caused alot of strain on my calfs.
so 2nd match against reg d, the left calf gave way and i fell to the floor.
it was the very 1st time that i got an injury during heart.sports.

it was a cramp of my calf, not a sprain of ankle.
and i could see the whole calf muscle kek up.
i was so horrified please.
alot of people saw also.
and kristy said frm far also can see.

it was super painful and i just couldnt stop crying.
at first, everyone thot i was laughing lah. hah.
and i heard everyone was calling for gab.
poor thing, i must have scared him. =/
but thank God for him.
cuz while the match continued,
he was there to help me. :D

well, we lost and got 2nd.
but i guess it was good enuf.
considering the fact that we had lesser manpower. hah.
but thank God for a good game. (:

#13
okay, after heart.sports was dinner with gab's family!
i was super stress please.
and the devil was definitely trying ways and means to ruin the whole thing.

my injury was bad enuf.
and den during the bus ride to suntec,
i felt like vomitting and was having a bad headache.
at that point of time, i really really wanted to go home.
they were actually having this dinner to celebrate genevieve's acheievement of being 2nd in class.
and his mum just shun bian invited me.
i was afraid i would spoil the moods of his family members.
and i know i was causing uneccessary worries for gab.
but he insisted that if i didnt go, i would then be spoiling their moods.
so i held on, but the devil dint give up.

they usually went to this club restaurant thingy at suntec.
it was at some roptop which i didnt even know existed, heh.
and normally, they did not have to wait for seats.
but this time, they had to.
and i could tell everyone was getting bu nai fan of waiting. =/

so finally, we got seats.
and gilbert wanted to order his fav fish and chips.
but guess what, the western grill thingy was down that day.
and all western food couldnt be cooked.
what sai right? ):
end up, everyone hadta order asian cuisine.

okay, here comes the most disastrous part.
i was just quietly sitting down there.
and this super strong wing HAD TO BLOW AT MY DIRECTION.
the stand on the table which showed the offers for that day and all, was too light
and collapsed onto my cup of water which den spill all over my skirt.
i was so shocked when it happened that i kept asking myself whether it really did happened.
i just couldnt believe it.
and so, the water just keep flowing and i dint move.
so gab's mum was like, girl! faster move away!
it was super paiseh please. =/
ahhh, totally ruined.
i was feeling so cold after that cuz the rooptop was really windy.

the rest of the dinner was okay.
his mum asked me random questions here and there.
and his dad ordered super alot of food lah. =/
gilbert couldnt stop moving ard and kept whispering into my ear.
so cute please.
and genevieve eats alot! :D
both of them are super cute, hah.

his dad gave me a lift home after that.
caused quite a bit of commotion cuz gilbert and genevieve wanted to sit with me. =/
and i felt quite bad too.
cuz my hse wasnt on the way to their hse lah.
it was so out of the way please.
sigh, but thank God for them. (:

overall i would say it's a disastrous dinner.
but at least it dint give his parents any bad impression i hope? =/
well, just wanna thank God for everything.
most imptly, for not letting the devil win. :D

#14
darr left the following day.
bleah, i couldnt send him off.
but yea, his mum talked to me that day. (:
genevieve misses me! :D
and gilbert just wouldnt admit that he misses me. :D

and yea, still counting!
i miss him like crazy please! =/
that sai.
i go for 8 days only leh!
den he had to go for 10 days!
so mean lah.
RAHHH.

#15
this whole week was filled with trainings and slackings.
i had to rebuild my stamina again and get back that fitness level.
went to turf city for training on friday.
it was super crappy.
first time i stopped so many times while running the x-country route.
it was really disappointing. ):

#16
overnighted with jasmine gan!
and since when is mugging with virnice ng fruitful? =/
but it was mc spicy and shaker fries and sprite! :D
photos and stars and zZzzZzZ! :D

#17
making of seniors' cards and cookies.
it was really tedious, tiring and crazy!
drove everyone up the wall please.
i was taking a breather most of the time, heh.
it was 5 hours of totally craziness, and drove everyone up the wall.
but thank you so much girls.
for all your time and effort.
if the seniors dont know how to appreciate,
well at least i do! :D

#18
ohh yes!
and parkway with clar!
we both miss parkway alot.
and it has really changed alot.
we bought many stuff!
definitely not missing out on bubble tea and fries. :D
and i developed 101 photos! :D
it's the only place that cost me 20cents for one photo. heh.
and den it was popular and walking ard parkway while waiting for the photos. :D

#19
i finish watching full hse! :D

#20
and it was praying with jas and mic at changi airport.
but popeyes first!
it was definitely very fruitful. :D

#21
celebrating donovan's one month old! :D
my baby nephew.
he's so cute please.
had dinner at some random restaurant at boon keng.
and saw my cousin that day too.
he look really different. haha. :D

#22
enchanted with track girls! :D
we took neoprints lah.
dont know how many million years nvr tak already.
and den it was walking ard in orchard after the movie.
and much shopping. :D
i bought a long sleeve shirt and a pair of slippers! :D

#23
ohh, i cut my hair!
but like no difference.
dont feel like rebonding cuz it's quite damaging to my hair.
ohh well, i shall try starting to accept my hair the way it is. =/

#24
drumming resumes!
after so so so long lah.
and we learn forever and a day.
so difficult please! ):
ohh God, please help me.

#25
gab's mum intro me to her sister!
so stressful please. =/
and saw gilbert and genevieve today! :D

#26
woots, bought girls team bag! :D
it's fila and it's nice.
i like it. :D

#27
cookie wrapping and kfc at clar's hse just now.
2 guys and 3 girls.
and den a fight over nice cushion seats started.
later, a pillow fight broke out. :D

and that's all for my oh-so-longggg post.
sorry for that long-windedness.
but u know, that's me! :D

next post would be chalet and his return!
so next next post would be photos! :D

u've changed and u know it.
i dont know if i caused the change,
but i guess i probably did.
mayb sometimes u dont mean it,
but it hurts, it really does.
i just wish there was sth i could do,
to make everything go back the way it was.
but u and i know that's not possible.
so it's time for me to wake up.
and realise the truth.
that is, you're not you anymore.
it's goodbye old you, and hello new you.
i need to start accepting it and getting used to it.
so pardon me for now.

2007-11-16T01:15:00.000+08:00

pictures are visual aids that will enahnce your understanding of what has happened. :D

the bus ride there.
before;
and after!
ppk chewing her food!
anne in a daze? hah.

yum yum yum. :Dtiger beer, anyone? :D
nah, it's CHRYSANTHEMUM TEA hor! :D
niang and nu-err. :D
shortie ppk with yf.

FATTY PIG. :D

anne trying to make ppk feel better by pretending to be fat.

anne's mushroom is chao tah. ):

ohh, how they love me. :D
greedy pig! xD
ice-cream-ing. :D
HAHA.
EEWWW to ppk's new hair.

red, blue, yelllow, green! :D

that's us. :D three MIA. ):
me and elaine! :D

okay, below is the process of taking photo of us on tv, at the mrt station. HAH.

our 1st attempt. ahhh, stupid flash.
2nd attempt. jexx running frm behind! :D
3rd attempt. u're on candid camera! :D
4th attempt. i cant believe i took the picture without me in it! HAH.

5th attempt. this is hilarious. i asked the girls to hurry cuz everyone else were staring at us. and I was so kan jiong that this is what we have. LOL.
our final attempt and here u go. a nice complete one. :D
on the train itself! we're in some binoculars thingy. heh.
i'm the photographer. :D

i'm the photographer for this too. :D
woots. it's nice cuz ppk's not in it. :D

that's my wonderful outing with, just the girls. :D

2007-11-15T23:45:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XUAN! :D

i miss my ng yu xuan lah. ):
haven't seen her in a million years.
even tho we dont know what's going on in each other's lives
cuz we dont talk,
she's special to me!
and so am i to her. :D
we're both deep down in each other's heart. :D

i miss those carefree pri sch days.
those quarreling times.
joyful moments.
she was the best partner i ever had.
we sat tgt in pri 6.
and it was prob one of my best years in tns.

there were ups and downs,
even tho still young and innocent at that time,
still, she stood by me. :D
it was probably cuz we were in abt the same situation,
that we got even closer.
she knows what i dont say,
and the way to the heart. (:

and most imptly, i brought her to Christ.
i was so excited when she first accepted Christ.
and now, she's faithfully attending a church near her hse.
yishun too inconvenient for her already.
and i dont blame her for that. (:
but if so, we'll be closer than u can ever imagine! :D

thank God for NG YU XUAN! :D

so okay.
yest's training was quite xiong.
coach tan is like increasing the work outs.
we did sprints, den some shitty 400m speed endurance runs.
TWICE and the girls all cmi already.
the guys did thrice.
ohh ohh, random but there were EQUAL number of guys and girls for training.
that is once in a blue moon.
RARE okay! -.-
and if those runs weren't bad enuf,
we still did one round ard the sch.
well, guess it's better than the nyp route.
still, my legs we nua already.
couldnt straighten it nor walk properly.
super tiring please.
but i'm still loving it. :D

after training, i lunched with the track girls.
almost full attendance, only kingyin wasnt there.
it was really great quality time.
lunched at some random yummy king stall.
with our beloved bubble tea. :D
and we know who's the best in shopping lah huh.
so MUCH stamina please.
transfer than to ur running hor, girlfriend! :D
much to a point that almost all the girls were sitting in a row,
waiting for girlfriend to finish buying her SHAMPOOs.
i think she bought the whole shop lah. xD

met up with gab to study after that.
it was kinda fruitful for me.
but not for him. -.-
he was studying his storybook lah.
and TRIED studying physics,
but fell aslp after a while.
bleah, try harder please! :D

and it was g12 at night!
lesson was on zacheus or however u spell it. =/
biblical insights, and how we shld surrender to God. :D

celebrated mic and ber's bday too.
it was some chocolate cake with liquor!
so EEEWW please.
think alvin/yireng bout it without knowing.
but it was yuck lah, i couldnt stand the taste.
now u know i'm a good girl who doesnt take liquor. :D

somehow, g12 ended late and i was home late too.
but phoned with jasmine gan nevertheless!
miss it loads man. :D
all those crapping, and seh-ing for me.
heh, sorry girl. i died on you again. =/
but woots, loved it. :D

today was slack slack slack.
until, my nu-err and daddy came over.
and i mean 'daddy' hor.
kinda weird, isnt it?
but yea, and they had lunch at the kopitiam downstairs.
and and, we saw this selling drinks guy,
who looked like one of the pirates of the carribean guy!
heh, you know in the show,
there's these two idiots, who are quite blur and dumb.
ya! he looked like the shorter one!
not the one whose eye keep coming out. =/
heh, super funny please.

and i did like 2 math qn.
clar did math too while sm gp-ed.
HAH.
after that i did my envelopes and card thingy for the zhu clan! :D

met yf at kembangan.
was later than late. =/
AS USUAL. sigh.
and den met anne and ppk at marina bay.
kena scolding by them please.
and ppk is early.
heard that? she was EARLY.
hahah! i think pigs can fly already. :D

woots. we reached there and started to steamboat first.
it was yummy yum yum. :D
so long nvr had steamboat already.
and anne's a good cook.
so unlike ppk please. :D
i had a great time catching up with them.
and also announced to them some news. hah.
to ppk, not surprising cuz she know already.
and yf suspected already.
so, yea, and they asked me stuff. heh. :D

elaine and jexx were super late please. =/
we finished by the time they arrived.
me and anne even ice-cream-ed already.
but it's okay! we had our second round. :D
i think i gained 5 kg please!
no no, ppk says 20 kg please!
but elaine said i looked like i lost weight!
WOOTS. :D

and and, while eating, we noticed this super obesed woman sitting opposite.
no offence, but i was really disturbed by her...
and i gave that eeeww face?
with my eyes closed tightly, shoulders up and all.
and i was telling my friends.
den elaine said that they know we talking bout her.
cuz that woman asked her friend to look at me/us when she walked away,
and i actually shrugged by shoulders!
i thot she was gonna come and slap me or sth.
HAH.
sorry but ya, i couldnt control.
really no offence, but hers is extreme. =/
Lord, please forgive me.

hmm, we went home shortly after that.
and the bus ride to the mrt station was totally SAI.
worst bus ride ever!
it was squeezy, cuz the bus takes a million years to arrive.
so there were alot of people on board.
on top of that, there were many turns.
and the bus uncle just couldnt drive slowly.
so kan jiong please!
we were like gonna fall anytime.
and ppk and anne held on to my shorts?!
thank God never drop lah!
hahaha.
and it was just lots of swaying here and there.
we held on to each other so dearly.
so that if one falls, all falls.
and elaine kept bumping into this lady sitting down.
cuz fatty ppk keep knocking into her. :D
poor thing. hah.

ohh ohh,
and there was this irritating grp of guys
who so wasnt helping lah.
the bus was squeezy enuf,
and they still hadta play and foold ard.
push here push there.
and one of them hit yf.
dumb guys, and poor yf.
BLEAH.

and guess what.
i missed skit practice cuz of this.
cuz this meeting up mean alot to me,
just as much as POR4.
but i hardly get to meet up with the girls.
and i dont know when i'll see them again.
so sorry, but trust me, it was a difficult choice to make. ):
cuz my role in that skit was really minor as well.
i felt totally lousy and horrible after missing the practice.
but i still wanna thank God for the time spend with my beloved friends.
you girls are missed by me. :D

as i pause to take a look at the world around me,
i realised that many people are struggling with difficulties in life.
be it in their studies, work, emotions, relationship, love and more.
some show it, some dont.
some tell their friends and loved ones, some choose to keep it to themselves.
then it dawn on me how soon the world would be coming to an end.
it's a scary feeling, isnt it?

so, i just wanna encourage everyone out there
who is currently facing problems and in a very difficult period of time in ur life,
to TRY God, if you dont know Him,
or to TRUST God, if you know Him.
because He is in control.
and because He sees the bigger and better picture He has for us.
and to simply have FAITH,
that is, being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we donot see,
because He holds our tomorrow.
rmb, trials are to STRENGTHEN us, not to weaken us.
hold on, for He is not letting go. :D

what if it is beyond what you can imagine.
if you knew, will you still see me in what lies ahead?

2007-11-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

hello.
it's tuesday once again.
which means, SHITTY ANTI-MALARIA PILLS.
and choo shuan can still say it gives him dreams at night?!
HAH.
i hope nothing goes wrong this time.
please pray for me, thanks! :D

sunday was woots!
pastor Nah preached about holding holds! :D
God is holding our hands
and thus, we must also hold the hands of others.
that is, to reach out!

he told of this really nice and sweet story.
about this lil girl and her dad.
they were crossing a bridge or sth.
daddy was afraid, with regards to safety.
so he asked lil girl to hold his hand.
the lil girl replied, saying nope, u hold my hand.
daddy was puzzled and asked, isnt it the same?
and the lil girl said, no, it isnt!
if i hold ur hand, when something happens, i may let go.
but if YOU hold my hand,
i know that no matter what happens,
you wont let go. :D
so awwww right!
sweet lil thing. :D

basically, we should know that no matter what happens,
God will never ever let go of our hands.
and because of that, we ARE his hands.
therefore we have to keep reaching out
and hold the hands of others. :D

played at rzone that fateful sunday.
i think i'm pissing the whole rzone band. ):
seriously, i cant play under stress!
and somehow, playing at rzone just stresses me out!
it's super diff frm tkk lah. ):
sigh, sorry people.
i'll practise even harder. =/

after service, there was POR4 meeting.
and den skit rehearsal after that.
i'm acting some minor role, heh,
and i think jessica's doing a great job! :D
more rehearsals this thurday and sunday.
and meeting this friday!
gonna get itnery and all. :D

ok sidetrack abit, i'm leaving in about 7 days times.
and i'm super excited about it!
my first ever mission trip,
and it's all for God. :D
i'm definitely gonna miss everyone,
but then again, i cant wait to see the ppl there too!
especially the children. :D
cant wait, and excited to finally do sth for God. :D

after the rehearsal,
i met up with jie and wall.
we accompanied her to town before going home tgt.
and then it was RUNNING! :D
the usual thing i love to do, but then again,
it was a whole new experience and it was woots. :D

had macs for dinner.
kinda contradicting hor?
i went to run off those fats
and i went home to eat it all again! ):
ohh well, i still got training! :D

monday was math AGAIN.
3 hours for like two questions?!
so dumb lah please.
but the woots thing was FONDUE! :D
chocolate/ice cream fondue!
at swensen, with jas mic nel and choo shuan!
someone was lazy. -.-
and ernest nah is currently at thailand!

so anyway, we also had fries and fried mushrooms!
yummy yum yum. :D
but shitty thing, it's those FATS again. ):
i'm how contradicting lah.
thank God it was TRAINING after fondue. :D
i hope u guys ran at orchard road? :D

training was sprints, my favourite.
thank God it wasnt nyp route
cuz it would certainly make me puke.
after all that fat-eating! HAH.

i went home after bathing.
with files and stuff frm my locker.
so heavy please.
but was all of a sudden feeling tired and depressed.
and i had no idea why. sigh.

was supposed to meet girlfriend today.
but he last min say another day,
just cuz i told him i had to be at dhoby ghaut at 7pm.
bleah, he demanded tampines. =/
ohh, well.

but today was quite a slacky day for me.
had math in the morning.
i was super late.
saw my schedule wrongly.
thot it started at 10.30 and thot it was okay to reach about 10.45. =/
but guess what, it started at 10!
and i was later than late! =/
and and, it ended early! -.-
self declared by us tho.
we left at bout 12.30pm liddat.
once again, it was a total waste of time.

i went home after that and it was MORE a total waste of time.
i WANTED to study.
but sai, i watched tv and fell aslp. =/
went to dinner with wall after that.
and now, i'm here.
without anything done today.

and now for randoms.

i'm feeling quite shitty now.
depressed and all.
wonder if it's cuz of the pills.
because depression IS one of the side effects. sigh.

really, time flies.
flies so fast i can hardly make good use of it before it flies away. ):

it's been one and a half month now.
and i'm happy that the feelings are still there.
but somehow, i'm letting my insecurities eat into me.
because i know i have to say it one day.
and this might just end it all.
i'm so afraid for that day to come.
but how long can i drag it.
i'm acting strangely, i put emo nicks,
and i just push away the topic when talked about.
i dont know, but i just wanna treasure everything i have now.
it's the present that matters right? sigh.
i'm sorry...

and another prob coming my way..
we seem further than before.
u're always talking to her now.
and it's so difficult to even talk to you.
even you realised i've been neglected.
because of my beliefs, i dare not comment.
and i dont know what to say.
but i could still be a listening ear.
but u still chose not to.
u're different, and i guess people change.
just that, ur change is DRASTIC.

u're one of the 2 best things i have there.
now that one's gone, i only have you.
but seems like now, i've lost both.
what's the point in staying there.
i've lost all motivation to carry on.
mayb i should just leave that horrible place.
the place that brought me more tears than joy.
more bad memories than good ones.

ohh Lord, please tell me what i should do right now.
rainbows cant tell it all. ):

2007-11-11T02:59:00.000+08:00

bleah, i realised it's very difficult for me
to be consistent in blogging.
cuz i'll always take super long to do that.
and i always cant find the time.
plus i'm simply LAZY. heh.

ohh well.

i went out with xiaoqigui and lil bf on thursday!
happy deepavali! :D
the NEL line was flooded lah, with people. hah.
but ya, we went vivo.
had lunch at thai express!
my yummy yummy tom yam. :D
super nice please, heh.
and den walked abit to shop for birthday gifts,
while someone was busy looking at HOT BABES.
HAH.

ohh, and my stomach felt super uneasy after lunch.
dont know is it cuz of lunch or the anti-malaria pills.
but sai, i vomited twice that day. =/
once before the show
and another when we were on the way home.
i think i spoilt both of their mood?
cuz i was like so seh all the way.
sorry guys. ):

but anyway, the bee movie is ...
no comments.
if u love cartoons, maybe u'll love it too. heh.

ohh ya, testimony!
at first xiaoqigui wanted to take plastic bag for me
cuz i was like anytime gonna vomit.
but i said nvm.
however, he still went to take.
he came back with a starbucks bag at first.
which was a super nice paper bag. -.-
hah, so he went again and came back with a long john one.
den while we were walking towards mrt,
i started to puke.
but thank God it was just at the toilet!
so woots. :D God is good.

and and, wall came to visit me cuz i wasnt feeling well.
he went to sentosa, which was near vivo. hah.
wanted to go home tgt.
but i left earlier cuz puking mah. =/
so ya, thank God for him. :D

and not forgetting jasmine gan!
who wanted to meet at first.
but didnt in the end, cuz ya, stupid stomach. ):
but thanks for ur concern girl! :D

that concluded my thursday.

friday was a long day for me.
had gp lecture frm 10.30am to 12.30pm.
which was quite horrible cuz we received a large amt of work to do -.-
had lunch with fifi, reggie, zirui and garett.
den went back to sch for math peer tutoring frm 1.30-4.30pm.
i tell you, MATH DRIVES ME NUTS.
i used to love math, but... ): sigh.

den had training at 5pm!
that was the 2nd most worthy thing to go for.
i destressed quite abit.
cuz the truth is, i was thinking about giving up during math.
den during training, rainbowS appeared!
TWO, MIND YOU! :D
if u dint see it, AWWW!
cuz it was really beautiful.
there and then, it was like God was telling me to hold on to His promises
and to not give up. :D
thanks also to wall, who encouraged and cheered me on. :D
so ya, i was super high during training please!
and everyone said i was acting as tho i dint see a rainbow before!
so, WOOTS. :D

and of course, the most worthy thing was HOF.
i was late, as usual.
but i got the gist of it.
especially the criticism part.
really spoke to my heart.
if someone criticizes you and you rush to defend yourself,
THAT MUST GO. :D
so ya, SHOOO!
no more self defending.
i will accept it, reflect on it, and change if needed.
because only then, can we become true leaders.
WOOTS. :D
and the notes were useful!
i read it on the way home. heh.

and, DONUTS. :D
i had the strawberry one!
super nice please.
and that was dinner!
yumyum. :D

sleepover at jas and mic hse next!
their parents were overseas so they invited me over!
it was kinda last min, so ya, everything not planned.
but no worries girls, cuz i enjoyed myself!
all the movie-ing, photo-taking, crazy-ing, eating, talking.
WOOTS, i loved it! :D
thanks for having me over, jas and mic and DUMB ASS! :D

ohh, and step up is nice. :D

and girls + dumb ass, i'm sorry i was so noisy while u all were trying to slp.
the stupid coffee kept me so awake lah! hah.
but ya, i slept frm 5 plus to 8 plus.
and went home to pig again while jas and mic went to church for deco.

heart.sports was quite sai-ish today.
we lost frisbee, badly.
like 7-2.
and i dint achieve my target.
tho i did tap and catch the frisbee today.
just not at the goal zone.
and nic and jiani came late.
so we had short of manpower.
and i concluded something.
TON IS TALL. =/
but i'm just glad we fought to the end. :D

and rounders was. ):
well, everybody makes mistakes.
it's about learning frm them and that's what matters most.
and dont make the same ones again.
but anyway, congratualations to the rays.
and lydia, ur slide was so cool lah! :D

thankfully, we won soccer, 5-2.
so ya, God is fair. :D

and testimony again!
for rounders 2nd inning,
it looked bleaked for the dolphins.
so i prayed, that josh would get homerun.
at least if dolphins won the 2nd inning,
there was still hope.
so YAY, josh really got homerun!
PRAISE THE LORD! AMEN! :D
i was really jumping and screaming for joy.
and amazed at the goodness of God. (:
but it wasnt cherished enuf by the team.
we could have won, but it's alright.
sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.
conclusion: GOD IS FAIR AND JUST. :D

after heart.sports was dinner at north point plus bubbletea.
new gang rule: no talking about soccer at the dinner table! hah. :D
and ya, wall sent me home. :D

got my belated present today.
and guess what?
i LOVE the card more. :D
but still, thots felt HERE! :D

and it's sunday once again!
WOOTS. :D

2007-11-08T00:49:00.000+08:00

HELLO. :D

due to popular demand, i'm back.
thot of just not blogging anymore
cuz i'm like lagging behind by so much.
and thus, will have lots to updates.
but i guess i'll just go on from here.
mayb will talk abit about what happened for the past few weeks.
but not the nitty-gritty details.
woots.

but first,
TAG REPLIES.

to ethan.
thanks for the encouragement!
i will work harder. (:

to shir.
i'm sorry girl. but i really couldnt make it.
i miss you like crazy too! ): i love you!

to char.
i miss you girl! hope everything's going okay for u too!
class chalet soon? :D

to terence.
thank you! :D

to jas.
vir=happiness! please remember that for life! :D

to gina.
how are you?! i miss you too!
it's okay. we'll get over this year soon.
hope to seeya! :D

to ernest.
ernest nah, NAH, here's the post of updates u wanted. :D

well, as seen from my previous posts,
I MESSED UP.
no use regretting, no use whining.
no use complaining, no use crying.
i guess, the only thing i can do now is to get back on my feet.
and as far as possible,
try to fix everything that i messed up.
tho things will never be the same again.
i guess i shld just try. TRY. try.

the very first thing is definitely my conditional exams,
coming up in dec, 2 days after christmas.
how wonderful.
THANKS AH, AJC. -.-

sigh, what to do?
i brought this upon myself.
so it's like math, math and more math.
havent started on geog and chem yet.
AHHH, CRAP. ):

guess i shld start numbering.
if not this post will be quite messy.
i shall classify them into happy things and sad things.
woots.

happy ones first?
or sad ones first?

okay, i'm talking to myself. :D

so ya, sad ones first.
den i'll have the happy ones to cheer us up. :D

sad #1
havent really started mugging.
and exams are like 7 weeks away!
sounds long but it aint long!
it's gonna be here soon.
i need to start RE-mugging! ):
plus much untouched holiday homework!
so much for HOLIDAY. -.-

sad #2
havent clarified matters.
dont know if i still shld.
cuz it's like such a long time ago.
but it's still left hanging.
i really dont know.

sad #3
i got badly accused of putting friends before family.
here's my side of the story, or rather, my reasoning?
i had family dinners for two straight saturdays.
and THAT fateful day, i just wanted to have dinner with my friends.
and i got the 'friends over family' tag,
right at my face.
so okay, i listened and went home.
ohh, guess what?
mum had dinner already.
and the first thing was LAPTOP and TV.
and mum hadta buy dinner for us too.
so much for quality time.
so much for spending time with mum.
the ironic thing was mum gave me money to have dinner out.
hah, -.-

another ironic thing was
she dint know how many times she pangsehed me cuz of him.
so that was how many times, special friend over family?
ohh ohh, u know once, i had to bring her books home
while she had dinner with her special friend.
and once when i tried to lie on her shoulder to rest,
she said it's only for her special friend.

maybe u forgot, but i remembered.
cuz it hurt, badly.
but because i know ur special friend meant sth to you,
i dint complain and just REN.
but the way u say/treat me is,
RAAAHHH.
unbearable for me.

oh well, WHATEVER right?
cuz whatever i say doesnt matter.
to you, you and you,
i'm always saying it as if i'm right,
as if i'm the victim.
so ya, go ahead.
u're the victim, and i'm the accuser.
u're the good one, i'm the bad one alright?
done? DONE.
CASE CLOSE.

ohh, and may i add that if anyone wants to say sth bad bout me,
just do it RIGHT AT MY FACE can?
i PLEAD with you.
sorry for the sarcasm.
but ya, i really cant stand it lah.
STOP ALL THE BLOG SHOOTINGS CAN!
-.-

i would really appreciate it that,
if you have a problem with me,
just come straight and tell me.
like seriously, no sarcasm.
i'll change if there is a need to.
because that's what God wants us to do.
but by blog shootings, it'll only tempt me to get pissed.
and i'll always fall into that trap of getting pissed.
so ya, PLEASE STOP IT.
sigh.

sad #4
we dint spend our 1st month day tgt.
(*please do not get angry here and refuse to read the rest of this post. because.. you'll see. :D)

sad #5
further and further away...

sad #6
i gain weight!
and grew fatter! ):

sad #7
do i have to tell you how much i miss my BRA? ):
ohh, bring back my bra to me, u stupid AJ! ):
sigh, i'll miss crazy-ing with you,
talking nonsense, coffee-ing into highness.
crapping during lectures.
and all ur methods of trying to wake me up during lectures.
ur lil notes of encouragement.
my veggie eater.
now who's gonna eat up all my veggie! ):
sigh, i miss SHIRLEY ANG JING JING like crazy!
life in aj is gonna be much worst than before... ):

sad #8
i'm broke, VERY broke.
hah!

sad #9
no impt mic gan for gang outing! ):

now, for happy things.

happy #1
pw is over!
did u hear me correctly?!
yes, OOOVVVVEEERRRRR!
:D:D:D:D:D
you dont know how happy i am man.
please congratulate me for being able to survive thru that shitty thing. :D

happy #2
frisbee is still sai.
BUT, i've improved!
let me tell you how. :D
2 weeks ago, i dint even TOUCHED the frisbee.
1 week ago, i TAPPED the frisbee.
and this week, i CAUGHT the frisbee!
WOOTS. :D yes, CAUGHT. :D

but, err, i did a stupid thing by telling my opponents,
I DONT KNOW HOW TO THROW.
hah, how dumb was that! -.-
anyway, next week i'm aiming to catch it in the goal zone! :D

happy #3
atlantic dolphins are in the finals for all three!
rounders, frisbee, soccer!
it's all up to God now.
but doesnt matter win or lose.
cuz in finals is already a WOOTS thing! :D
GO DOLPHINS! :D

happy #4
altho we dint spend it tgt,
thots are felt HERE. :D
in which, the eyes cannot see.
only the heart can. :D

happy #5
this is linked to virnice ng yun wen!
cuz vir=happiness. :D

happy #6
training has started!
time to lose some fats man. :D

happy #7
and it's one month and 8 days.
ohh, random. :D

happy #8
had gang outing on tuesday!
6 november 2007!
watch the gameplan!
and 10 minutes for peas! :D
for more details,
please refer to jasmine gan and ernest nah blogs. :D

reported crime:
bubble tea smuggled into cinema.
with m&ms, and some random food.
one person missing,
empty seat was next to jerome ang.
high-pitched laughter heard in the middle of movie.
also, loud and sudden laughter not by choo shuan,
but by jerome?!
hmm, still investigating.
end of report. :D

happy #9
i'm just crapping so i'll have more happy things than sad things. :D
so ya, gilbert and genevieve is cute! :D
gilbert says, dont molest him! =/
hah, he's still super cute. :D
and genevieve says, i'm gonna call mummy!
but smiles sweetly at me the following day.
so cute lah, woots. :D

happy #10
2nd date on 5 november 2007.
stardust!
pretty star, boy to man.
and, WALL. :D
fighting over to be king,
fighting for everlasting life,
thus fighting for star's heart.
so -.-
dumb plot, but nice actions and effects. :D

and i saw girlfriend lala!
but i refused to show up infront of her.
we were in same cinema too, heh.
and him was wearing same as him.
hah! :D

ohh, esplanade has some cute displays.
apparently drawn/designed/made by children?
super cute and adorable please. :D
and it was walking walking walking, aimlessly.
den fatty burger king, french!
but no fried mars bars and cookies. ):

ohh well, i enjoyed that day much! :D

happy #11
i went shopping!
WOOTS. :D
with girlfriend lala and qiurong!
bought shorts, shirt and ..... :D
that's y now, i'm broke. =/
hah.

yay, 2 more happy things than sad things. :D
let's hope more happy things come my way.
and sad things can SHOO. :D

i think i'm done.
i better be done.
cuz jasmine gan is so gonna kill me,
for this very, super, duper, long post. :D

POR4 coming my way!
cant wait. :D
but hopefully no special numbers for me! =/
i dont mind being in the skit tho, heh.

and stupid anti-malaria pills.
better dont give me headache, abdominal pain,
vomiting, HALLUCINATIONS,
DEPRESSION, anxiety,
MOOD SWINGS.

RAHHH, mosquitoes.
GO AWAY.

i'm excited for running this sunday. :D

ahhhh, happy reading.
i should starting mugging, properly.

loves! :D

*ehh hello virnice ng?!
where are photos, photos, photos?!
once again, please refer to jasmine gan's and ernest nah's blogs.
at least for now. :D

2007-10-31T00:12:00.001+08:00

i realised that i dint just mess up my promos.
i messed up everything else as well.

i finally concluded that,
in all my seventeen years of life on this earth,
this year HAS to be the worst year of my life.

i really messed up big time.
and i think nothing that i do can change things back.
and i mean, NOTHING.

both good and bad things happened.
but sorry to say, more BAD things happened.

i have no idea how i am gonna survive thru this.
somewhere in the middle,
makes it so hard for me to go anywhere.

the worst thing is,
i feel like i'm drifting away from God.
mayb cuz i havent been spending enuf time with Him.
sorry Lord. ):

just when i thot i had your support,
u kinda walked away from me.
not purposely, but unknowingly?
mayb it's just a natural reaction.
so i guess i cant blame you.
but why cant things just remain the way the are.

THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.

why do i keep messing up?
just when will i learn?
sigh.

somewhere between the present and the past.
not the present and the future.

*there was a time, when i was so afraid.
i thot i reach the end; but baby, that was then.

2007-10-23T23:15:00.000+08:00

ohh, hello jasmine gan.
this is my very short post. :D

ahhh, having a very tight schedule right now.
or mayb it's just me who cant manage my time wisely?
ohh, well.

quick updates:

1. i messed up my promos, BADLY.
gonna havta take a re test in dec.
which means, NO HOF CAMP.
and i havta RE-MUG.
WOW.

2. i know i havent cleared things up with someone yet.
not that i forgot, just simply no time.
and like what my wall said, we'll do it privately.

3. dad's back and somehow, i dont really like it.

4. frisbee is SAI.

5. no gift for mum yet! =/

6. i'm BROKE. ):

sorry, photos next time probably?
loves.

2007-10-11T02:49:00.000+08:00

alright.
it's gonna be a long post i guess?

firstly, i missed out one person in my thank-you list!

#5 ETHAN GOH ZI CHENG. :D
thanks for all the online encouragement.
even tho both of us were getting so stressed and crazy bout exams,
but i'm glad we helped to motivate each other on.
thanks also for introducing me to a new friend.
well, not exactly a new friend,
but a friend who has been beside me all this while,
just that i dint realise.
until u told me.
his name is FAITH. (:
so thank you so much.
for cheering me on during that period of time.
helping me to distress a lil.
hah, a big thank you! :D

and next,
my sincerest apologies goes out to two person,
#1 JASMINE GAN.
#2 WALL

i'm so sorry!
for making you both wait online for me.
i was tempted by my stupid bed!
i promise i wont ever go near it again,
if i got online appt with you both.
ahhhh, i feel super bad.
and i heard about the conversations you both had online.
it was quite. =/
but guess i deserve it.
and sorry jas, i replied you in my semi-conscious state.
and talked to you in my semi-conscious state.
and sorry wall, for not picking up ur call. =/
lalala, i'm at the both of your mercy k.
so sorry.
promise i wont do it again!
PLEASE FORGIVE ME. :D

and okay.
now i'm gonna officially blog. (:

well, i pw-ed FOUR days in a row lah!
totally cant believe it.
from friday all the way till monday can.
non-stop pw-ing can really drive someone mad.
i had 6 hours of slp in 3days.
like wow right?
my eye bags are toatally obvious now
even tho i'm so dark. -.-
but bleah.
that AFL better not give some sai comment.
we want CONSTRUCTIVE feedback hor.
argh.

and sunday was scary please!
finally told pastor mong yee already.
went to look for her immediately after POR4 meeting.
and i think jerry knows already.
cuz he like so ji ji to help me find pastor. heh.
pastor mongyee was super cute lah.
she kept saying NOT about drumming hor?
like as if she had no more drummers already
den scared i saying i want a break frm duty or sth. hah.
but ya, she was okay with it.
and her reaction was totally unexpected lah.
den it was her turn to keep saying i'm cute.
for the fact that i went to tell her.
hah but -.-
and i asked her to pass the message to pastor queebeng
den she say wont only be to pastor queebeng.
haha, super cute lah. (:

finally, it's open and known.
my very first.
i'm excited, yet at the same time afraid?
excited for everything that awaits me.
and afraid cuz i really dont know what to expect.
only God knows, and i shall trust in Him. (:

monday is not worthy to be spoken about,
for it is dumb pw again. -.-

ohhyes!
it's worth mentioning cuz there was training!
so WOOTS. :D
managed to run off some fats i guess? =/
but i felt really good after training.
and there was exco meeting.

tuesday was op trial 1.
was quite kan jiong and all.
but my grp was one of the worst i guess? =/
we got alot of loopholes and all.
ohh well, got lots to work on.
and that means, MORE PW-ING.
ahhh crap.

and tuesday afternoon was outing with jasmine gan!
been quite long since i went out lah.
no moive, nothing.
but it was EATING and SHOPPING.
the ultimate combi please? :D
eating cause FATS.
and shopping helps us walk them OFF.
so WOOTS. :D

outing with jas is always fun and funny. :D
loads and loads of laughter.
and we just laugh about everything under the sun.
not forgetting we were sourcing for sth. (:

and it's like food, food and more food?
den random notebook shopping at taka and kino.
basically we just LUAN HUA QIAN?
hah, i forgot what's the word to use!
and apparantly,
jasmine gan who's on the phone with me right now,
is unable to give me an acceptable answer too!
DONATING MONEY TO THE WORLD HOR? :D

and den jas had some training thingy at taka.
she starting work on thur!
so JIAYOU girl. :D
dont start staring at those jap snack and slack hor.
must work. :D
and dont let the stupid cashier thingy defeat you!
please know how to use it.
and the whatever float thing? :D

and dinner rocks. :D

character development programme at ecp today.
sandcastle building lah!
and i'm talking about BIG structures.
not those kind of small play play ones.
i shall post the pictures here soon.
and there was structure of patrick starfish too! :D
so cute please.
and i took picture with it!
plus poked its stomach. :D

ohh, and thanks WIFEY.
for the long walking journey.
sorry if i caused your legs to be suan. =/
but it was fun hor!
HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT. :D
u nature-destroyer!
itchy hands, pluck pluck pluck!
TSKTSK. :P
and photos taking all the way!
frm ecp and all the way to frankel ave there to take 32.
heh, so fun lah please.
photos soon! :D

and ber,
how were we over reacting?
we were just angry and disappointed?
which is like a natural thing.
put yourself in our shoes and think.
sigh, whatever lah.
it doesnt matter anymore.
nothing matters anyway.

recently, a decision of mine made things change.
in a way i dint expect it to.
and it's in a bad way.
because my heart wasnt able to control itself,
i sacrificed everything i ever had.
if given another chance,
i'll probably make the same decision
but i'll make sure there's nothing first?
i definitely cause much hurts.

sometimes, things dont turn out the way you want it to.
but then again, you cant have everything.
you cant have the best of both worlds.
you get one and you lose another.
and that's life.
but it hurts, it really does.
to know that things cant go back to the way it was before.
because everything that has happened,
has left footprints in my hearts.
memories that will always stay with me.
but no matter how hard i try,
things just can never be the same.
not ever again.

still, i thank God
because He has been so good and faithful to me.
and maybe things are not going well right now.
but i guess these are lessons for me to learn from.
and i'm learning more about myself each and everyday.
whatever it is, God is with me. (:

and i dont know if it's talking bout me.
but i guess it's kinda obvious.
because everyone's been talking bout it.
and i dont know why.
what's wrong with that fact.
or just blame me for being over sensitive.

i dont know if u're talking bout me.
but even if u're not, there are things i also want u to know.
the fact is that we've never been close before.
how can that be when u're always taking my hp and reading my msg in the past.
and finding things about me
which i would consider it to be private.
and the fact that you dont keep it to yourself
makes things far worst.
and confront you?
how could i, because it'll hurt so much.
like, EHH WHY DID U READ MY MESSAGES WHILE I WAS BATHING?
and beacause it'll totally ruin our friendship.
so i decided to suffer the injustice and leave things the way they are,
at least we'll still be friends.
and things wont be so awkward between us.
but i guess i cant contain it anymore
because if u say we're drifting apart due to them,
i feel that it's really unfair to me.
in the first place, i already dont seem to fit in with u all.
makes it hard to catch up with what u all are saying
about new shoes, new bag, new dresses, new make-up and the latest fashion.
it tires me quite abit as i try my best to fit in.
noone seems to know my existence.

and neglecting?
well, u forgot my birthday.
okay mayb u dint.
but i dint hear a single thing frm u on that day.
even if it was a belated birthday wish/msg,
i'd still b happy to receive it because it's the thot that really matters.
but nope.
do u even know how disappointed and sad i was.
because whatever it is,
our friendship has lasted for at least 8 years?

and i'm sorry if i ever made u all feel left out or sth.
because i really dint mean it.
God sent them to me in the most surprising way.
and i find them i can relate to them better.
i guess it's only normal i spend more time with them?
and sorry, i can have many friends
but i feel that each of us should/would have only a few
whom we can confide in.
cuz u certainly cant be close to everyone.
we look okay on the outside,
that's because i never raise any disagreements or unhappiness.
and yes, i agree i'm at fault regarding that.
say i'm a coward or whatsoever.
the main thing i was concerned with,
was our friendship.
even tho we couldnt be close,
i still wanted that friendship.
because it took us a long way back.

there was a period of time we were quite close.
because u found out sth u shouldnt.
and again, it's by taking my hp and looking at my msges.
but den we realised we were on the same boat.
and we could only rely on each other.
because it would seem so wrong in the eyes of others.
but we knew we had each other's backs.
and that was the only time.

and u really do not know me inside out.
mayb because most of the times u are more about yourself than me.
in that mirror of yours, u only see yourself.
or maybe it's just me.
unwilling to open up.
but have u ever wondered why i was reluctant to do so?
some friends can really relate to each other very well,
but some, no matter how hard u try, u just cant.
and believe me, i ever tried.
but i gave up a long time ago.
and this is how far things can get.
and the same goes,
if only you would use you heart to see.

i'm probably going thru the worst time of my life.
i feel that i've made the wrong decisions once again.
i keep messing things up and just cant get things right.
why do i feel as if the whole world is watching every lil thing i do.
and it's really getting stressful.
mayb that's why God wanted me to let go on friday on.
my heart is getting heavier and heavier each day,
i'm only praying hard it doesnt grow cold,
cuz when it does,
i would lose everything.
all of life's meaning,
and all i ever had.
it's a scary feeling and i never wanna walk that way.
so please, give me some room breathe.
because i'm this close to breaking down once again.
life, has too many lessons for me to learn.
and sometimes, i just cant take the blow.

so life, please give me a break.
and Lord, no more tests for the moment please?
because it's more than i can take.
give me strength because i need You more than ever.

2007-10-07T00:57:00.000+08:00

sorry for not updating in awhile.
well, promos are finally over.
but somehow, i'm not that happy. =/

let's just start with promos.
i cried BEFORE promos,
DURING promos,
and AFTER promos.
wow right?
i sound like i cry so easily or sth.
but, sigh.

i thot promos would be slightly better than mid yr CT.
but i highly doubt so?
i think only my physics will do better than mid yrs.
other than that,
the rest are like sai.
esp MATH and CHEM. ):

math was the most depressing one please.
it was the only paper that i walked into the hall with confidence.
yet it was how shitty please?
it's toally UN-DO-ABLE lah!

let me elaborate on that.
i already MINUS 58 marks.
if miraculously i get all correct,
the most i can get is 42 marks?!
like how shitty is that lah!
sigh. ):

seriously, i really think i'm gonna retain?
if i promote, it's really by God's grace.
and if that happens, i already told myself i'll work doubly hard.
like i'm gonna start studying frm this coming sch hols onwards.
but if it's God's will for me to retain,
then i guess i will?
or mayb i'll just go overseas or sth. =/

whatever it is,
promos is finally OVER.
i shall not think of the results at the moment.
cuz there's nth i can do except pray.

in any case,
there are a few people i would like to thank.

#1 SHIRLEY ANG YI/JING JING.
my latest b** and wife. :D
you saw the happy/sad/crazy virnice ng.
be it before or during or after promos.
you saw everything.
the tears. the stress. the craziness.
and you were there for me.
you cheered me on
and did not allow me to give up.
you stood by me
and walked thru promos with me.
and for that, i owe you a big THANK YOU. (:
i love you. :D

#2 JASMINE GAN CHENG YAN. :D
on late night mugging days,
you called me up
and lighten my stress-ness.
those talkings made me laugh
and helped me relax for awhile.
you never fail to pray for me every night,
send me smses of encouragment and prayers,
and constantly motivate me,
asking me to jiayou.
without that, i would not have survived thru promos.
so thank you girl.
i really appreciate it, ALOT. (:
i love you. :D

#3 NELWYN NG JUN WEN.
thank you,
for the prayers every morning,
each day before i take my paper.
it really helps to calm my nerves.
and boost a lil of my confidence.
knowing that a whole grp of people is behind me. (:
thank you lil bf. :D

#4 GABRIEL LING
words cannot express how thankful i am to you.
for going thru this terrible time with me.
giving me all the help i need,
be it in my studies,
or even mentally, physically and emotionally.
and most imptly,
you did not give up on me.
even tho all seemed hopeless,
you held on to the lil hope that's left.
and you encouraged me to fight on.
altho you're tired of telling me the same old things
over and over again.
but you didnt stop trying. (:
so, thank you.
and you know what. :D
p.s i spared you the misery of having to see your chi name
and letting others see your chi name as well. :D

and to all those out there,
who prayed for me and supported me
in one way or another,
THANK YOU.
for God saw me thru this,
and it's probably because of the many prayers he heard. (:

so yah.
and i thot i could take a break after promos?
but NOPE.
now i'm having PW and CHI intensive.
so shitty please.
and A level chi is a few weeks away!
argh. =/

and pw is seriously driving me mad?
not only is the distance a killer,
the thinking, and organizing
and rephrasing is RAHHHHH too.
bleah.

and i totally miss h.s due to pw today.
they lost frisbee but won rounders and soccer.
so thank God for He is fair. (:

and we lost capt's ball last sat.
got second tho.
and considering the fact that we were one player down,
i think we put up a good fight already. (:

but i'm really discouraged by someone.
just read something that i probably shouldnt have read?

it's not numbers.
the thing is, you said you WOULD go.
and backing out last minute just isnt the right thing to do.
it's totally irresponsible
cuz you just abandoned the team.
and in the first place,
what makes you think you're just a number?
we called you because you said you're going to play,
but you werent there at the very last minute.
it's not as if you dint say you were going,
and we last minute dint have enuf players,
so we called you.
if that really happened,
then ya, u can blame us for just treating u as a number.
but no! that wasnt the case.
every member in the team plays an important role.
without someone, the team isnt complete.
and there's no star player or whatsoever.
even the best player cant go on without a team.
and you're just saying you're a number
only because you THINK you are.
nobody said that.
so stop looking down on yourself
and den blaming it on others.

ohh, and super october was super cute?
potential general paper questions were asked. :D
pastor alan is just so good at that.
coming up with lame questions.
like, what was on sale on monday, $1.10 for 5?!
HAH.

den it was tug of war.
EAST vs WEST.
reg A and C combined.
so woots. :D
and EAST won.
so YAY. :D

and ohh, did i mentioned that i was super late? =/
due to pw, yet again. -.-
but thank God i came before alter call.
thank God i dint miss it.
because it was an experience of a lifetime?
to feel that strong presence of the Holy Spirit.

altho i dint exactly get the entire msg frm the sharing by pastor chui,
i was greatly touched during alter call.
pastor chui asked those who wanted to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit,
to stand on her right side there.
and because i already had it,
i dint.

but somehow, sister susan just came and prayed for me.
at first, nothing happened.
i just stood there and praise God while she just prayed.
i dint feel anything, couldnt cry,
and no, nothing.

den i guess sister susan could tell that i dint wanna let go?
i mean, i myself dint know?
so she was like praying, say,
dont hold back, dont harden your heart.
pour out everything to God.
let the Holy Spirit take over you.
let God take control.

and yea, i felt it.
i really did.
and it was really an awesome experience with God.
the very first time that i experience that,
was during the 1st hof camp.
when i received the baptism of the HS.
except that this time was stronger.
and i couldnt control.
i just cried and cried and cried.
and couldnt stop.
my eyes started to swell and everything.
but ya, just wanna thank God for bringing me back closer to Him
yet once again. (:

and and,
pastor chian knows already! =/
but he's super cute please. :D
havent talked to pastor mong yee yet.
but intend to, after service tmr.
but den got peacemakers meeting.
so yah, guess after that?
hope she's not busy or anything.
and i'm kan jiong! =/
ahhh, just pray that everything will go well.

i have lots of thots going thru my mind right now.
i wanna let it out all here.
but it's getting late and i'm tired. =/
right now it's 3.50am
and that thing fell aslp again after my wake-up call.
bleah and hmph.

oh well,
shall write out my thots here tmr then.
as in, later tonight.
and it's pw again later. ):

training starts on monday!
so WOOTS.

and it's BYE BYE FATS. :D

if what's within is made known,
some things change, unknowingly.
and no matter how hard you try,
it's just not gonna go back the way it used to be.

2007-09-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

ahhhh, so sorry people.
been so busy and stressed about everything.
mainly PROMOS.
and everything's just piling up.
one by one.
and i really dont know how long more can i last.
because each and every day,
my energy is draining away. ):

but thank you gang and wall once again.
and not forgetting my WIFE.
for you all saw the tears that no one else could.
and give me all the support that i need.
if i ever let any one of you down,
i'm really sorry.
but i can assure you,
i'm trying my best already. =/

so ya, been emo-ing alot these days.
thanks jasmine gan, wall and wifey
for tolerating all that emo-ness.
and being there for me.
it's just that i think this is a tough period of time for me.
and i'm just learning to pul thru,
with God's strength and your support. (:

the feeling of PROMOS is really like sai.
i could study till i cry please. -.-
doing math could just drive me nuts.
and stupid globalisation doesnt seem to be able to
get into my big fat dumb brains?
and i know the concepts but i dont know how to apply?
how dumb is that?!
sigh.

but amidst all these horrible studying,
i finally did sth which i wanted to do some time ago.
just that i dint have the courage too.
so yea, i felt relieved after that. (:
and i guess it's a new beginning for me.
something to look forward to after dumb promos. (:

woots.
cant wait to run on saturday!
i dont care, i'm going heart.sports.
because i cant resist captain's ball,
and captain's ball cant resist me! :D

if what's within is made known,
you just might get a surprise.
and i got a pleasant one.
thank you. (:

2007-09-23T03:43:00.000+08:00

woots.
love my new blogskin. :D
and updates soon!
or at least i think so. :D

7 days to PROMOS! ):

2007-09-17T02:19:00.000+08:00

argh.
I'M LOSING IT.
seriously.

but thank you gang,
for being there for me.
special thanks to jasmine gan
and gabriel ling.
for those encouraging/cheer up lil note/drawing.
really appreciate it. (:

and this has been one of the worst weeks.
could things get worst?

like promos are 2 weeks away.
and i'm barely prepared. ):

if what's within is made known,
can things still remain the way they are?

and sometimes the sudden rush is there.
because it's heavy and has to be let out.
yet the consequences are unimaginable.
and the mouth has to control what the heart wants to say.

if only you would use your heart to see.

2007-09-13T00:59:00.000+08:00

if you were a road,
i'd learn every turn till i
could find my way with my eyes closed.
if you were a song,
i'd sing along till i
knew every word and every note.

but you were everything to me,
a mystery;
you're the love i live to see.

by heart; by soul,
that's how i want to know you.
keep you as close as
breath is to life;
wanna watch your love unfold,
by heart; by soul.

if you were a place,
i'd stay my whole life till i
had every corner memorized.
and if you were a star,
i'd follow you home,
you would be the light that is my only guide.

you were everything to me,
my a to z;
and will be forever and eternity.

by heart; by soul,
that's how i want to know you.
keep you as close as
breath is to life;
wanna watch your love unfold,
by heart; by soul.

i wanna know you inside and out
better than i even know myself.

by heart; by soul,
that's how i want to know you.
keep you as close as
breath is to life;
wanna watch your love unfold,
by heart; by soul.

if you were a star,
i'd follow you home,
by heart; by soul.

2007-09-11T21:01:00.000+08:00

ohh, hello.
ahhh, i totally forgot all about amazing singapore!
hah. :D

it was an experience that i would never forget lah.
mayb cuz i havent been playing the amazing races
oragnised by efc,
for two years already.
so felt that last sat was abit hiong.
haha. :D

i woke up that morning all excited lah.
but then it was raining.
so was afraid it would get cancelled but it dint! :D

and first time i dint bring any bag out please.
not first time, but one of the very few times!
felt so qing song lah.
just hang my hp over my neck. :D

okay so 1st pit stop was at some panjang area.
and we actually managed to trick rita and her g12
to go to thw wrong place. hah. =/
there we hadta throw tennis balls into a container
or play golf which is like -.-
and when i managed to throw the ball in,
i jumped upand scream like a crazy girl please!
and dennis recorded everything down on camera lah!
AHHHHH.
image destruction completed. ):

2nd pit stop was at stupid SUNGEI BULOH.
long long loooonnggg way in please!
it was really mentally challenging.
but when we reached there,
we overtook quite a few grps already. :D
and we lost jasmine gan there. ):
STUPID SUNGEI BULOH.

3rd pit stop was at ntu!
the scenery there quite nice.
and cs fell please! =/
too kan jiong.
and okay, i shall not elaborate further on the irony. :D

and we caught up with the ppl
who took the express bus frm sungei buloh
so WOOTS. :D

the rest of the pit stops were okay.
not as hiong as the sungei buloh one.

4th pit stop was the science discovery centre.
had to paddle that stupid thing.
made me thigh muscles cramp please! -.-
and had to collect the next clue frm cass and jin long
at the other side of the lake?
i dont know what u call that lah. hah.

5th pit stop was chinatown!
had to seperate dumb red/green/white beans!
so retarded please! -.-

6th pit stop was some malayan railway station?
and by the time, our g12 was one our own already.
the all girl group. :D
there we had to answer dumb math question lah.
den everyone was tired and couldnt think.
so we got the wrong answer and hadta stay there for 10 min.
almost everyone did.
i only knowbenjamin's grp didnt!
he's so smart please. haha. (:

hmm 7th pit stop was at pandang there.
and the bus that we were on,
door spoilt on the way
and den it became our private bus!
it was super funny please.
it dint let our passangers board,
only alight.
and it was so cool lah.
haha.

pandang there was super retarded please.
we hadta recite the pledge in chinese!
thankfully for our g12,
we were already at an advantage
cuz we only had 4 ppl, making it easier to learn.
plus, me and my sis used to say it in pri sch.
altho it was quite some time ago,
it was still somewhere in our heads.
and so, it came quite naturally.
our g12 was said to be the best grp to recite it!
somemore, we only did it once!
so WOOTS. :D

and yay, after that was the last pit stop!
some chopstick thing!
hahahaa. :D
at first me and my sis dint know where to go
cuz we didnt see the clue.
we only kept hearing yireng say,
it's there only!
quick quick, run run!
hahaha. super funny lah. :D

so guess what?
we were FIFFTTTTHH!!!
5th!!!!
WOOTS.
all girl grp somemore okay!
power anot. :D

and reg A clinched 4 positions among the top 5. :D
making us the overall champion for amazing singapore 2007!
WOOOHOOOO! :D

that's about it.
den it was full gang attendance for dinner. :D
but everyone quite seh already.
plus my left foot pain again.
so not much mood.
but still, enjoyed the company. :D

ohhohh.
and i forgot to mention i slept at 5.30AM the previous night. -.-
so imagine the seh-ness i was feeling. haha.

plus, the same night, i stayed over at sheryl's hse
just to complete the stupid WR. -.-
and sheryl said i had bloodshot eyes already.

i slept at 2am liddat that night.
so in church the next day,
feel so shitty please.
and played so shitty at rzone too. ):
i keep messing up the worship lah.
think all the musicians very pek chek with me. ):
especially...... ):

argh, mayb i shld stop playing at rzone for awhile.
till i'm more ready.
the worst thing is i cant play/work under stress.
and it's always stressful playing at rzone. );
sigh.

i want to stop relying on you.
i need to stop relying on you.
because one day if i ever need you,
and you're not there,
i dont know what i'm gonna do
so please stop being there for me.
as much as i want it to remain that way.
but somehow i just know,
if i dont stop now,
i will just sink in deeper.
unless you can tell me now,
you feel the same way as i do,
-still unsure, but going to be sure.
if not, it's goodbye.
once in a lifetime means there's no second chance.

2007-09-10T23:39:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO VIRNICE NG YUN WEN! :D

please smile because today is in memory of the day
that God brought me onto this earth
to bring you never-ending moments
of joy and laughter. :D
10 september 1990.

woots.
my special day of the year is here again. :D
this birthday is slightly better than last yr.
but i wouldnt say much better.

then again, the birthday surprise is not included.
if not, it'll be the best birthday ever. (:

i dont know why birthday wishes frm ppl,
means so much to me.
even if it's just a simple,
happy birthday.

i guess it's because
for that simple msg to appear in my phone/msn/friendster,
that person took the time and effort
to wish me.
at least, they cared enuf to do so.
and i think that's what matters to me most. (:

so thank you everyone out there.
who took the time and effort,
to remember me on this very special day.
i really appreciate it alot. (:

this is possibly and probably,
the very first time that my birthday
is not during the sept hols.
so it feels a lil weird spending it in sch?
guess it's just not as fun as spending one whole day out.
and it feels different too.

but nevertheless,
i concluded my day with dinner at swensens
with wifey, reggie, brendan, fifi and garrett.
and i shall not talk bout sch cuz it's as boring as ever. :D
the only main thing that happened in sch
is that i gave chocs/lollipop to friends ard me! (:
plus ms huang and mr sng. :D

so it was swensens at ps after sch today.
woots, it's been awhile since i went there.
i had breaded chicken!
wife had salmon and mushroom baked rice.
reggie had prawn dippers and curry chicken baked rice.
brendan had chicken baked rice.
garrett had fish baked rice.
fifi had 49ERS chicken thingy.
and i seriously had no idea wat was with baked rice today. :D

as for dessert,
i had a free birthday firehouse
cuz it's my birthday! :D
and it was like a birthday cake.
with candles and all. (:
wife had merri-mint, chosen by her eeney miney mo way! hah.
reggie and fifi had sticky chewy chocolate
brendan had frost malt thingy.
and garrett had double scoop of orange! (:
photos later. :D

and it was just countless moments of laughter.
stupid jokes.
and more laughter.
photo-taking.
eating and more FATS. =/
but overall, i enjoyed myself!
thanks for everything u guys! (:

the rest left after dinner
while wife accompanied me for awhile.
as i had to wait for hao ren.
and looked for sheryl's present as well. :D

den wife had to go home.
so i waited in macs.
rotted there alone. hah.

haoren came not long after.
and we left after he gave me my present.
it was really nice of him lah.
so thanks alot, hao ren! (:

okay and i spend the last few hours of my birthday,
SLEEPING! -.-
argh, can u believe it?!
how pig please!

and my family had to wake me up at bout 9 plus

to sing me a birthday song. ):
that's how sad lah.
and no cutting of birthday cake this yr. ):
cuz my family got me just one slice of oreo cheese cake!
so this birthday is full of oreo cheese cake. hah.
but that's good enuf.
so thank you family.
i love you all. (:

and dad got me a beijing olympic water bottle!
it's super cool please.
and i think it's very hard to get?
he gave it to my mum before he left for sudan.
a pity i couldnt celebrate my special day with him.
sigh. =/

okay photos now.

hah. i forgot to take pic of the food BEFORE we started eating. so woots. :D

woots. my birthday ice cream! :D
make a wish ; make a prayer! (:
that's not two okay signs hor. i was just counting to THREE before i blew out the candle. :D

okay. there's a reason for this empty plate. cuz garret ate it all up. hahaha.

and that's us. :D

that's about it.

okay, now for rankings!

please see where u stand and aim higher next yr.

hahaha. :D

SMS

1. amanda. (tk track)

2. clarissa.

3. zhengjia.

4. jasmine gan.

5. calvin.

6. shirley ang JING JING. :D

7. choo shuin

8. shawn chan.

9. jasvin.

10. jocelyn ling. (tns)

11. shuyi.

12. zoe.

13. david foo.

14. jiexi.

15. nelwyn.

16. keith cheng.

17. clarisse.

18. nikki.

19. ben see. (tk)

20. james. (tk track)

21. stefan.

22. yeokfei.

23. midori

24. jiaheng.

25. elaine ho.

26. michelle gan.

27. amelia lie.

28. rebecca. (uncia)

29. patricia ho.

30. angela lai.

31. anne chua.

32. suhaila.

33. benjamin. (0607-1st 3 months)

34. wayne foo.

35. charlene. (0607-1st 3 months)

36. kah leong (0607-1st 3 months)

37. timothy (tk)

38. mrs jennifer toh! (:

39. hanqiu.

40. joanne. (uncia)

41. ernest nah.

42. miswan

43. jovin

44. gerald (tk track)

45. ho ming.

46. remy!

47. XUAN. :D

48. brendan.

49. pang peck ki.

50. shirley ang again! she loves me too much. :D

51. samuel (tk track) - late by 1 hour please. heh.

PHONE CALL

one and only SHAWN WEE.

he called to say he just finish watching soccer match.

and that it was a monday. -.-

but he did wish me lah.

kinda unexpected. haha. :D

MSN

1. erlinna.

2. gina. (0607-1st 3 months)

3. ethan.

4. alex khong.

5. regina.

6. gabriel. (efc)

7. terence.

8. huimin. (0607-1st 3 months)

9. tan wei qi (tk track)

10. nelvin.

11. dixon.

FRIENDSTER
please refer to my friendster comments. :D

IN PERSON
1. jovin.
2. jerry. (he just shook my hand cuz i think he was trying to keep the secret surprise for the gang!)
3. the entire bfgf gang!
4. wenyi.
5. shawn.
6. class of 0707. (:
7. clar.
8. timothy and kahou. (pls feel bad that shir had to remind u two. hah!)
9. girls from class 3407
10. mr sng! :D

and sorry if i missed anyone out! =/

special thanks to erlinna,
for the unexpected present and card. (:
and to wife,
for organising my birthday dinner. (:
and to everyone else,
who spend this special day with me,
in one way or another!
thank you so much! :D

2007-09-09T23:06:00.000+08:00

here are the sushi tei photos first. (:

this is filled with 20X$10 sushi tei vouchers! woots. :D

before we became fat. :Dwhere jas fats came frm. her eeww eel. :D hah.
sushi, WOOTS.
and more sushi. :D
where benjamin's fats came frm. :D

where MY fats came from. :D
eeww, prawns and raw salmon?! but yummy to them. haha.
where mic's fats came frm. :D
err some random red beef meat? hah.

our grilled crabby with miso mayo. woots. :D
our salmon with mushrooms! :D yummy yummy!
my chawamushi! :D
err mangos with prawns for sushi? haha.
my sprite. :D

jas' ice lemon tea. :D

shanshan's not-so-nice california roll.
err some pregnant fish thingy. eeww? =/
woots tempura.
our yummy desserts! :D
this is where most of MY fats came from! hah. :D
jas had the peach sherbert while shan shan had the watermelon sherbert! :D

this is before our meal.
and this is after. :D

me mic and jas with our fatty stomachs. :D too bad u cant see it here!
can u see theirs? HAH. :D
ohh, i thot the light was unique so i just took photo of it. :D

birthday photos surprise in the next post okay! :D

wont you take my hand and walk in the rain with me? (:

2007-09-09T20:21:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA! (:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHONG YANG! (:

okay.
my mood just got really ruined.
to the extent that i'm missing high school musical two right now,
when the tv is just like a few steps away frm me
and i can hear everything. -.-
my birthday eve is starting to get worst. ):

to someone.
i'm not the one who hasnt been trying.
it isnt fair to say that neither side is trying.
because i tried,
but mayb u dint try seeing?

and we did ask you to join the gang
but u dint want?
mayb you thot it was too childish for you or something.

as for the surprise,
they did it as a gang.
and they were afraid if they asked u along,
you would feel left out or something.

in the first place,
if u really cared about making my birthday special,
you would be the one organising it,
like how i organised ur birthday surprise.

in any case, i'm just really disappointed.
about the way u say/treat me and my gang.
you have ur own clique too.
just that they're not in church.
what makes them so different frm my grp of frens?

and it's not like we WANT to leave you out.
you chose to leave youself out.
like when we asked u to join us for dinner and all.
we tried okay. ):

and you know,
how i wished we could be like jas and mic.
they spend so much quality time together.
and they enjoy telling each other stuff.

so how bout us?
i would really treasure our quality time
if you ever gave me a chance too.
but sometimes, i'm so afraid of the way u judge me,
just like the way u judge my grp of frens,
that i dare not tell you things.
you make urself unapproachable
but i dare say, i tried.
i really did.

and okay, mayb i am at fault too.
but unless u tell me,
how would i know where i went wrong.
did u even TRY telling me?

mayb our relationship started off on the wrong foot.
we dint cultivate a good one frm young.
and things arent looking good now either.
and i thot we both promise to try
but it doesnt seem to be working.

is this the end?
is this how far our relationship can go,
that i dont even have the chance to call you my best friend?
and when i try, i'm irritating?

i really wish things could change for the better.
but i can only pray.
if this is the only way that our relationship can be,
den i'm tired of trying too.
sigh. ):

2007-09-08T02:19:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENEDICT(*efc)! :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIEW KEE! :D

september is a month of birthdays.
i told you so, i told you so! :D

and WOOTS. :D
i'm ultra happy today please.
and i shall tell you why.
in a few more sentences time. :D
and it's making me UNSLEEPABLE!
tho i have amazing singapore tmr.
so AHHHH! hah.

and it's gonna be a long post.
but dont stop reading! :D

so okay, talked to jasmine on the phone again last nite.
until her phone no batt.
not sure what time was that.
but i suppose it's close to 4am? :D

and i woke up at 11.45am today.
and thot to myself,
WHAT A BORING DAY IT IS.
couldnt find anyone to mug with. ):

planned to go amk lib.
and if too many ppl/cant get seats,
i would go to the mac nearby.
but both plan A and B failed lah. ):

in the end, i was walking aimlessly along amk road.
like some lonely loser. ):
how sad please.
at that time i was really lost and all.
dont know where to go.
and ended up at some void deck.
wanted to study there
but then jas msged me and suggested khatibs macs.
after much consideration, i went there. (:

and did i tell you how quiet my phone was today?!
i was kinda having cold war with bf.
cuz he broke his promise yesterday. ):

he promised me he would study yest.
somemore, 100% WILL STUDY hor.
in the end, sleep/play whole day. ):
and at night when i asked if he studied,
he said LATER.
but he dint. ):

so this morning when he msg me.
i was quite reluctant to reply.
and when he said he was studying,
i chose not to disturb him anymore.
so yea, COLD WAR.
but he redeemed himself today. :D

so ya.
back to my point.
i was feeling damn lonely today.
and my phone was unusually quiet. ):

anyway, went to khatib macs
and met kingyin there!
so, YAY.
i wasnt that lonely anymore.

and the next best thing was,
she was alone too!
so yea, we studied together.
kinda okay cuz we werent exactly close
and there was hardly any talking.
haha.

jas msg me about 6pm,
saying she wont be taking shuttle cuz she need go church earlier
to settle tkk stuff.
so i replied saying that i'll go with her and mic
den mayb i can study in church or sth.
cuz i dint wanna stay at macs anymore.
but she dint reply till 6.45pm!
and i was a lil sad/angry?
not really angry lah.
just dint know what took her so long to reply.
if not i would have been church with her and mic already!
but there's a good explanation behind it. (:

and so, left khatib bout 6.50 and went to yishun.
felt lonely again!
cuz normally i'll be with jas mich and gang.
and joelle asked me where they were lo.
so yea, but good explanation behind okay!

and nope, i dint suspect anything so far.
just thot how sucky and lonely my day can get.
plus RETAINERS.
so it's like non-stop suaning about my pronounciation of words. -.-

i tried to mug like every minute lah please.
but kinda failed.
cuz physics refused to get into my head!
so shitty please.

den it was hof.
jas mich cs were late for worship lo.
but hah, i still dint suspect anything. (:

and and; i talked to pastor mong yee before hof!
i stopped her before she walked into the providence.
and she knew i was gonna talk to her about
playing amazing spore and missing drumming lesson tmr.

frankly, i have no intentions of playing lah.
but rzone no new songs
and altho tkk has new songs,
but it's slow songs and aint that difficult.
shld b able to handle on my own.
so yea, i guess pastor MY agreed to let me go play.
and somehow, she talked bout my complexion. -.-
so err, ya. cant help it. =/
hah.

worship was great,
and so was the service.
and altho i brought one huge packet of sweet,
it was a sweetless service for me.
cuz of stupid retainers. -.-
i tried eating one and failed terribly please. -.-

halfway during service,
i received a msg frm yireng saying she wanna talk to me after service!
i freaked out lah. hahaha.
thot gonna get counselling or sth.
but, good explanation behind once again. :D

signed new declaration forms after service.
and "counselling" session soon began.
she just talked about random stuff actually.
like school work, studies, commitments, sister relationship, mum and all.
really super random please.
hahaha.
and it made me miss my shuttle. -.-
but good explanation behind again!

okay okay, i'm coming to the exciting part! :D

jas called me just as i was about to go downstairs.
she told me she and mic went to 7-11 to buy drinks.
and were walking back.
so they asked me to wait at the bus stop.
ohh and jerry shooked my hand when i was entering the lift.
so weird please!
and xing yi said sth like jerry wanted me to ask my mum
what the handshake was for?!
hahaha. no link. =/

so yea.
i was abit lost tho, when i came out of the lift.
so i called jas. but no answer.
den i called mich.
and she asked me to wait at the bus stop
not the one across the road.
and i said okay cuz i thot they were walking frm 7-11 there what.
haha. (:

i sat at the bus stop there and waited for them.
and suddenly, i hear my name..
VIRNICE NG!
i looked ard frantically but couldnt find the source of the sound.
thot it came frm church or sth.

den i heard my name again.
VIRNICE NG!
and this tme, i heard echo!
so i was like, VOID DECK! hah.

and i quickly walked over.
only to find out...
THE WHOLE BFGF GANG WAS THERE!
with 17 slices of cake!
and as i walked there,
they sang me my birthday song!
WOOTS.

i was so touched please.
wanted to cry but no tears.
i'm sorry!
but i was really really really touched.
from the bottom of my heart!
by everything they did.
all the effort and love.
and the HUGE birthday card.
i really love it alot.
and i knew everything they did for me came frm their heart too. (:

well, i got to blow 17 candles! (:
they're so cute please.
to think of such an idea.
and altho i dint get to cut any cake,
it's special! and memorable!
and it'll definitely make history. :D

and their card is WOOTS.
i REALLY LOVE IT ALOT.
each one had their own personal msg
in their own hand made envelope,
taught by mich gan on how to make the envelope.
and they each sealed it with love! :D
it was really really sweet.

den it was, of course, photo taking time.
ernest had the privilege of handing me my present,
on behalf of the gang.
and that prestigious moment was taken down on camera. :D
and many many more happy moments. (:
with gang and huge card. :D

it was really a lovely surprise
and i probably wont forget it my entire life.
i totally love this gang. :D

and each of their lil note,
made me tear, on my train home. (:
it was tears of joy.
tears that tell you i'm happy.
tears that tell you i'm touched.
and tears that tell you i'm blessed.
because i know they mean each and every word
they say in their lil note.
and it means alot alot alot to me.
i could read their lil notes over and over again,
and still find it meaningful. (:

if only i could just recevie cards for presents,
i wouldnt mind.
because to me, cards and thots means so much more than presents. (:
so THANK YOU GANG. :D

okay side track abit,
dad flew off today.
back to sudan i guess.
and this time, i hardly spent any time with him. ):
but i'm glad that at least i managed to send him off.

saw him and ahkhit and the carpark when i was walking home.
and altho i was a lil tired,
i decided to tag along.
because i have yet to pass dad my lil note too! (:

hmm we only dropped him off at the airport
cuz ahkhit gotta get back to work.
and needed to send me off first.
before dad went in, he said my present's at home.
even tho i'm sad that we cant spend my birthday together,
at least he remembered and that's good enuf. (:
and i hope he rmbs to read my lil note of love too! :D

as for now,
it's dedication time. :D
in NO order of preference/importance. (:
because all of you are as equally important.
without any of you, there is no GANG. (:

TO JASMINE GAN
thank you so much for everything.
u and mich probably came up with most of the plan
cuz guys so dont have qing diao. :D
it was really a surprise that i would never forget.
and it's such a meaningful birthday even tho you all are early.
but it doesnt matter because ur thots are felt here,
in my heart. :D
i really thank God for you
and appreciate all the effort u have put in for this special birthday of mine! (:
since dont know when, we became closer.
and i'm so glad we did.
because without you, there wouldnt be so much joy and love in my life!
and you're here in my life all because of Jesus. :D
and thank you Lord! (:
those many hours on the phone.
those countless moments of laughter.
those memorable times of retardness.
it will never be forgotten. (:
and i'm looking forward to many many many more months of friendship and love.
and i believe the gang will last!
no disbanding okay!
once again, thank you girl, for everything.
for loving and accepting me for who i am.
most imptly, thank you for being you. (:
iloveyou.

TO MICHELLE GAN
you still hold your title as IMPORTANT.
because without you, the gang wouldnt have envelopes
to put their lil notes of love into the huge card. :D
and you're just as important as jas in the planning of the surprise. (:
thank you so much, for all the thots and efforts.
because of the lil things you have done for me,
you have created a big smile on my face! :D
i also thank God for having you in my life.
and just like jas, we became close unknowingly
and our friendship becomes an experience of a lifetime.
before knowing you all,
coming to church was just looking around for someone i know to sit with,
and trying desperately to fit in
but with you all,
i'm un-afraid to be who i am.
to show what's inside of me.
and the much laughter and craziness within me. (:
altho we dont talk on the phone like me and jas,
but u're always there listening.
and you know everything. (:
and i know, our friendship will last.
because it has a strong foundation!
and it didnt come easy. (:
it took me seventeen years to realise i have a fren like you!
and a gang which i know i can always rely on. (:
so thank you very very much.
it's a really memorable seventeen birthday. :D
iloveyou.

TO NELWYN NG
since dont know when, i started calling you bf.
since dont know when, u started calling me gf.
and i'm so glad i did.
because if i didnt,
i wouldnt know what joy and laughter it could bring me.
the gang started all because of the bfgf thingy.
and that's why we're called the bfgf gang. :D
and we decided to spread the love
so we had photgrapher and useful PAs. (:
in any case, i'm thankful for you, bf!
even tho u're still young, but i know u're matured in some ways,
and still growing!
i hope to influence you in the right way too. (:
you know, your lil note was the one that made me tear the most.
because there's so much maturity hidden beneath those words,
even tho you may not know it.
so, thank you for everything bf.
i believe you had ur part to play in this lovely surprise.
and it made my day! :D
i know i'll always be your dajiejie.
and you'll always be my xiaodidi. (:
thank God for you!

TO ERNEST NAH
we werent close to began with.
even after i was close to jas and mich.
i still recall the many moments of teasing.
you ryan and japheth.
the STOP TALKING TO YOUSELF thing. hah. (:
but because of the gang,
we had many other moments of joy/laughter/craziness.
not forgetting, your HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHTER. :D
and altho i do not know what part you played in this surprise,
but your presence makes the difference.
in fact, the WHOLE GANG's presence makes the big difference. (:
because without u all,
my birthday wouldnt be meaningful at all.
instead, it'll just be any other day.
but because all of you bothered to love and care and bring me joy,
you all did something special for me!
and your camera deserves some credit too. :D
all in all, than you so much for everything.
it is definitely a birthday to remember.
much more joyful moments coming up, i believe!
and i dont know what else to say except
thank God for you!

TO CHOO SHUIN
like ernest, we werent very close to begin with.
it was only after jas and mich joined the tkk ministry,
then we became close. (:
and thanks for being so magnanimous.
cuz you are always the one that we teased and all.
but you just took it in your stride.
and i'm glad you did.
because that has brought much joy to the gang.
and it doesnt matter if u're the most talkative one in gang,
because no matter what, we stand as one gang. (:
and we know we have each other's back.
i still recall once when i was concerned about what others said bout our gang.
but you reminded me/us that we dont havta care what others say.
so thank you. (:
and thanks for taking the time and effort to prepare this surprise for me too.
i dont know what part you played in this surprise,
but it shld be as important
because the surprise wouldnt be complete without you. (:
FULL ATTENDANCE. this time.
one of the rare times.
and i hope we'll have more of this.
once again, thank you so much for everything.
for making this surprise such a success.
and i really appreciate it! :D
thank God for you!

TO GABRIEL LING
because of bf, i came to know you.
because of cs, i came to know you.
before that, we were totally strangers.
but i'm thankful to have known you.
thankful to God as well as the both of them.
and even tho you're the quietest in the gang,
we know you still love the gang. (:
and you contribute in the lil ways.
at first you were quite reluctant about joining
and we gave you a choice.
you chose to accept the gang.
and i'm proud to say, you made the right choice. :D
even tho u're the last to join the gang,
nevertheless u're just as important.
and again, i'm uncertain of the role u played in this surprise
but i know much effort and time was put in.
and your birthday wishes to me became a thank you card. :D
but it's okay
because my birth on the 10 september 1990
has given you a reason to be thankful,
especially to God. (:
thank you once again,
for making my birthday in 2007,
a very special one.
thank God for you!

okay next will be the official thankyou speech that i owe the gang. :D
i know i'm getting abit naggy and long-winded.
but i'm just too thankful to stop saying thank you to the gang. (:

TO THE GANG
thank you so much for putting together this pleasant surprise.
i dont know the process of the planning and all,
but i know it took lots of effort, time and love.
and i'm really thankful for all these that u all have done for me.
it's way beyond what i expected.
but i'm really really really happy. (:
you guys really changed my perspective of birthdays.
my last year birthday was especially the worst
cuz i only spend it with one girl, MUGGING.
no cake from friends, only from my beloved family.
and just when i thot today was one of the worst and lonely days of my life,
you guys changed it to the best and most memorable day of my life.
and i believe there's more where that came from. :D
and you all really brought a whole new meaning to birthdays.
thank you for making my existence feel worth and appreciated.
and thank you for making me feel loved by you all. (:
i'm really grateful and thankful to God for every single one for you.
and the bfgf gang shall NOT ever disband.
no matter what happens.
once again, thank you for making my 2007 birthday
such a special and meaningful one.
and thank you for accepting and loving me for who i am.
THANK YOU GANG and MUCH LOVED. (:

i dont dare count how many thank yous i've said.
but just know that i meant every single thank you,
from the bottom of my heart. (:

words cant express the feelings that stirring within me.
all you gotta know is, i'm very happy. (:
because of them, i found a new meaning of birthdays. (:
things will never be the same again.
because it will be better. :D

so that's the explanation behind all the loneliness and quietness today.
they were preparing something special for me! :D

and i hereby promise photos in another post again! :D

i dont know if i did the right thing.
but i felt relieved after i did.
and i didnt lie
because i really dont know what's inside of me.

somehow i just feel that it's not on one.
but then again, i cant be sure.
because there's too many uncertainties.
and too much insecurities.

yet is it right to say,
and wrong not to say?
how long can this secret be kept.
will that day really come.
i really dont know.

2007-09-06T23:33:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANI.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WL.

WOOTS.
i went to mug today.
at bugis village, BK.
well err not exactly mug.
but hey, i completed my D.E tutorial!
not exactly but i tried!
so YAY. :D

and i went with a teacher.
"teacher" i mean.
hah. but not bad lah.
he helped me quite a bit.
so THANK YOU teacher.
and HAPPY BELATED TEACHER'S DAY. :D

hmm i left half way for dental.
pangseh teacher for awhile.
and left him alone to rot. :D

havent been to the dentist for 2 years. =/
and bus 22 still takes damn long to come. -.-
was late for the appt
and had almost my whole family waiting for me.
had to let some other ppl go first
cuz ya, i was late. -.-

and so, what a tragedy.
it's retainers for me again. ):
according to my dentist,
i was supposed to wear the retainers at night
for the past two years.
and apparently, i dint.

so GREAT.
havta wear it for the next two weeks for the whole day
before i can wear it at night only.
shitty please. ):
cuz i cant talk properly.
ARGH. RAHH.

went to meet teacher again after dental appt.
refused to talk for the 1st ten minutes
but no choice, it was too quiet.
hahaha. :D

and at night was SUSHI TEI!
WOOTS. :D
but because of that,
i missed ratatouille and dinner wit family.
ohh well.. ):

woots.
me and teacher left bk about 7.
he stayed there for almost 9 hours!
poor thing. hah! :D

den met up with mich jas calvin and benjamin.
got kinda lost at first.
cuz couldnt find sushi tei at raffles city.
hahaha. how dumb.

hmm we got a small room at some corner.
right opposite the cashier
but behind a glass door.
and it was funnily shaped. hah. :D

waited awhile for jy and shanshan to come before we ordered.
me jas and mich; we three ordered food that cost up to $59.00!
and that is without dessert please.
so that means we ate alot alot ALOT! =/
but well, it's not everyday that we get to eat SUSHI TEI! :D
cuz it's ultra ex please.

and we took many many many photos!
mostly all food lah.
cuz all looked and tasted nice. :D

we also managed to take a grp photo.
using my self timer camera! :D
and as the chopstick holder thingy as a base.

and den it was food food food;
eat eat eat, ALL THE WAY!
woots!

after main course was DESSERT!
that was the best part of the meal please.
i ate the whole dinner with the dessert in mind
always leaving space for it. :D

i had my chocolate wafer!
mich calvin jiayan had their matcha (greentea) ice cream!
jas had peach sherbert
and shan shan had watermelon sherbert.
and benjamin had coffeeballs!
hahaha. :D

our stomach caused $34.45 each after the meal!
it was so fattening
but so nice please!
we spent $241.05 in total.
at first, we were still afraid we'll underspend.
in the end we overspend!
felt so bad that jiayan and shan shan had to pay the extras. =/
thanks a million! (:

i hereby promise to show the pics in another post. :D

okay and so,
took train home with mich jas and benjamin.
by the time, it was close to 1o alreedy!
cant believe we ate for so long.
and SO MUCH!
hahaha. :D

we talked about FATS all the way.
until we realised that it isnt the topic for benjamin.
and it was quite funny please.
so we changed topic to some army thingy.
hahaha. dumbness. :D

and now i'm here!
with an ultra fat stomach.
with alot and alot and alot of fats.
and i still feel like eating. =/
SAI.
i think i deserve the pig title!

AHHHH. and RAHHH.
:D

2007-09-05T23:55:00.000+08:00

RAHH.
today is a totally boring day please.
was supposed to wake up at 9am to mug.
but nope, woke up at ard 10.45?
and bf woke up late for his appt too!
hah. :D

we talked on the phone last night,
till about 2 plus?
but while he was busying playing ps2,
i was semi-conscious on my bed,
desperately trying to do my DE tutorial.
it's so difficult please.
and it was killing all my brain cells.
so now i'm dumb.
lalala. :D

and i had chinese today.
from 1pm to 3pm.
dumbness as usual.
and i found out that steph and roy have the same chi teacher as me.
heh. :D

and somehow, AFL knows their chinese names
but not for my class people. -.-

supposed to have pw consultation after chinese today.
but someone picked the BETTER grp to consult.
so yea, how nice.
made me wait 45min for nth,
den hadta rush off to CGH for physio. -.-
and i felt bad towards my members again.
sorry girls. ):
ARGH. so shitty please.

was super late for my physio appt lah.
and i havent been there for so long already.
miss the people there. (:
pauline, fawzi, edmund, david. :D

but pauline kinda scolded me today.
cuz i stopped stretching when i stopped training.
and now i''m having occassional sharp pain at my lateral hamstring there. ):
sigh. looks like it's more physio for me.

and edmund loves seeing me in pain, dont he?
hahaha. xP
but he's really nice lah.
helped me with my shoulder too.
cuz it was a lil swollen and hurting badly. ):

and the legs of course.
hamstrings and quartz.
but damn pain please.
until i cried lah. ):
mayb cuz too long nvr had those massages.
cuz edmund also say i last time also wont liddat.
so yea. den he soften the massage a lil. (:

and i actually FORGOT fawzi's name!
AHHH, i feel so bad lah. =/
den edmund was like bluffing me.
say he's name start with S
when i was quite sure it started with F. -.-
SORRY FAWZI! ):

so woots.
had mr bean ice cream after physio! :D
den bought some snacks for mugging tmr.
and bubble tea for my mum and bestie. :D

and jasmine gan,
i CHIONG home to bathe and meet up with u and mic okay!
so please dont be angry that i was late hor.
i CHIONG already. heh. :D

we had soya bean with pearls!
WOOTS. :D
and our TWO DOLLARS carrot cake!
hah. :D

and den it was g12.
countless suaning frm alvin once again.
and this time, it's about my sweaty palms. -.-

but i wasnt really affected lah.
used to it already. (:
instead, i was super high today please.
kept jumping ard during g12.
got adrenaline rush. :D

and jas threw the blue mushroom on the sofa!
which bounce off and flew to some corner!
hahaha.
sorry i know i'm random.
but the sight was too funny,
so i had to talk about it. :D

that's about it.
what a sian day.
and ohh, i think it's amazing singapore for me this sat.
so err.. =/
hah. :D

is it really possible?
but imagine the consequences,
how things would be like.
and many other factors in the way.
it just doesnt feel right.

maybe things shld just remain this way.
but somehow, i wish it'll go beyond that.
and yet, i cant be so sure.
beacuse deep within, something's stirring.

countdown, 5 days.
i only want it to be better than last yr. (:

2007-09-04T23:50:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR NAH! :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNYING! :D

i told you september is full of birthdays. :D

okay i slept at 4 plus last night?!
talked to jasmine gan on the phone for like 3 hours?!
hahaha. :D
by 4am, both of us were semi-conscious already.
especially me.
cuz i was like tutorial-ing and talking at the same thing.
but then brain couldnt function anymore. hah. :D

both of us were too excited to slp.
plus i HAD to complete my tutorials.
or at least TRY. =/

and so, woke up at bout 8 plus to go to sch.
had chem which is like so shitty
cuz i had no idea what mr ng was talking about?
he's good. but my mind just wasnt on chem. ):
plus, i dint understand that topic at all lah.
and obviously i dint complete the tutorial. -.-

went to nyp for lunch.
cuz dumb aj had all the canteen stalls close. -.-
wanted macs but was under renovation.
so we settled for koufu. (:

it was math after lunch.
and we were at the LT quite early.
so giant sugguested playing jokes on ppl who were entering.
he switched off all the lights.
and the LT was really dark.
den he asked us all to take out our phones
put it under our chins,
and stare straight in front.
it was how funny please!
cuz ms ewe got a lil shock!
hahaha. :D

and wifey missed everything
cuz she was FIVE minutes late.
TSKTSK. hah. :D

math seemed longer than ever!
and the integration timed prac was like sai please.
dint even know have until during lunch. -.-
but i guess i dint do so bad.
and ms ewe went thru the answers on the spot.

i cant rmb what happened.
but i only know i laughed alot today.
esp during math. hah. :D

and i was late for gang outing please! ):
cuz math lesson dragged till 3.35 lah!
plus i went to change somemore.
and caused the gang to wait for me outside the cinema for awhile.
SORRY GANG.

but yupp,
it's finally FULL GANG OUTING TODAY!
at plaza singapura.
WOOTS. :D
and we watched hair spray!

the show is like super cute and funny lah.
but some parts abit obscene?
and john travolta is super EEWWW but humorous lah!
hahaha. :D

and zac efron is super cute please!
tho his hair abit, err, eeww? =/
but he's still super shuai! :D
some songs in that show were really nice too.
and cs, please dont try to sing. :D
HAH.

ohhohh.
and gang smuggled alot of food into the cinema can?!
hah. bf bought cookies for me! :D
i had cuttlefish, peanuts, chips and cookie! :D

dinner was CAFE CARTEL.
and it was a LONG and TOUGH journey there. -.-

gang decided on sweet recipe at first.
so we went there and the waiter was asking how many seats.
and someone said THAI EXPRESS in front of them
so we said it's okay and walked away. -.-
at thai express, no one voiced out their VIOLENT OBJECTIONS.
so we told them seats for seven and went in.
and after dont know how many million years of looking at the menu,
they decided not to eat there! -.-
it was how embarrassing please!
i was so ready to eat my tomyam lah. hah.
but that's not the main point. -.-

and i heard that jas knocked her head on ern's violin
while gab was taking it?
and she sat back down?
hahaha. =/

FINALLY, they decided on cafe cartel.
and thankfully this time, NO MORE CHANGES.
hah. :D

so woots.
i had terriyaki chicken spaghetti;
jas and mich shared the chicken chef's salad;
bf and cs shared the oriental chicken salad;
ern had chicken and mushroom macaroni
and gab had some grilled dory fish.
and i was like saying he's grilling my sis?!
hahaha. :D

as for drinks,
me mich and jas shared the oreo frappe.
ern had oreo frappe too.
bf and cs shared the ice chocolate MOO MOO. :D
and gab had chocolate shake.
ohh and we spend like $78.20 altogether. :D

and ernest nah?!
butter and ice cream is like how different?!
and OLIVE OIL = MAPLE SYRUP??!!
hahaha. TSKTSK. :D

after eating, we wrapped pastor nah's present at cafe cartel.
with wrapping paper, scissors and STAPLER. -.-
hah. it's so funny please. :D

ohh and again,
i heard that jas hit her head on one of the lamps hanging when we were leaving
and she sat down again.
and instead of helping her,
gab stopped the lamp frm moving.
hahaha.
blur jas. :D

den it was photography session outside VEEKO! :D
and we desperately wanted to take a gang photo
but afraid to just pass our camera to an outsider to help us take.
and guess what?
we saw TING JUN!
err p.s i dont know howta spell his name. hah.
thank GOD and YAY, he helped us take our 2nd/3rd FULL GANG PHOTO. :D

ern hadta go shortly after our photography session. ):
but ohh well, it's his dad's bday mah.
so it 's only right that he went back to celebrate or sth. (:

we walked ard in plaza sing after ern left.
wanting to look for ice's present.
but it was quite difficult lah.
cuz the shops there were limited,
plus we really dint know what to get for her.
and it's like really belated already. hah. =/

ohh and i rejected PA two a few times when he offered to help me carry my bag.
cuz it was really heavy and i was like hugging it and walking already.
i'll fee; bad if i asked him to carry.
besides, he already help ern carry his violin for almost the whole evening.
to the extent that he fell in love with it. hahah! :D
but halfway my shoulders couldnt take it already lah.
so hadta ask him help.
and according to him, bf stole it frm him awhile after i passed it to him.
and bf helped me to carry. :D

the three of them actually liked to carry my bag.
cuz it had the cushion thingy.
more comfortable i guess.
but still, it's damn heavy. -.-

and ohhyes.
we took pictures with zac efron too!
be jealous please. :D

so anyway, after much walking,
we got her a bracelet.
but we felt it isnt enuf frm the 3 of us.
so guess we havta go shop for her another present again. (:

and we left for home after that
cuz everyone was super tired already. ):

okay, and the pictures say it all. :D

and that concludes my day out with the gang. :D

once again, THANK YOU GANG, for the wonderful evening we spent together.
it's been awhile since i had this much fun.
with all joy, laughter, embarrassment, phototaking and all.
this day couldnt have been better without u guys.
thank you so much! :D
much LOVED. (:

at first it was just walking past;
then it became words frm others;
later it was looking from afar;
and now it's so near yet so far.

somehow, i can always find you in the crowd. (:

and i'm loving this gang more and more.
-quoted frm mich and supported by vir. :D

2007-09-03T23:50:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAYNE! (:

it's the month of september.
and there are alot of birthdays. :D

WOOTS.
main event today:
watched ratatouille! :D

went to sch for gp timed prac today.
woke up at like 7am?!
hadta take cab down.
sixteen bucks lah.
so shitty please. ):

hmm i was like totally falling aslp
when doing paper 1.
err dint exactly finished.
but hey, i did until conclusion okay!
considering the amt of time i was slping,
it was good enuf. :D
and reggie was like,
I WANTED TO WAKE YOU UP LAH.
KEEP SEEING YOU NOD OFF.
cuz she was sitting behind me. hah. :D

paper 2 was much better.
at least i was more awake and all.
but still, i dint finish AQ.
argh. shitty lah but aiyer whatever.

had half an hour break.
met up with yy and mugi.
to discuss about open hse stuff.
and yy was lame until cannot lame already. -.-

den was FEEDBACK session for the paper we just took.
how dumb right!
sat in the stupid audi chair for like almost 2 hours?! -.-
the 1st hour wasnt so bad lah.
cuz mr bell was the one talking.
and he's super funny.
but the second hour was horrendous.
and by that time, i was falling aslp already.
and so was my phone dying on me. -.-

ohh and did i ever say how irritating SHE is?!
cannot mention names lah so ya. :D
SAI LAH PLEASE.
started scolding us so shittily.
DEN WE GOTTA MARK IT.
DOULBE THE TRAGEDY.
DEN WE SEE THE RESULTS
TRIPLE THE TRADEGY
DEN U SEE UR RESULTS AND U'RE
SAD.
then end the scolding session with,
HAHA ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAYS.
like ??!!! what on earth was she thinking lah!
so not funny please. -.-

and yes, it was ratatouille after that! :D
went to kfc to eat first.
everyone was so hungry please.
that half an hour break not enuf
plus so few stalls open lah.
keep us in sch frm 8am to 2pm,
who not hungry sia. -.-

and because i was SO hungry,
i invented a song:

i am hungry
i am hungry
give me food!
give me food!
if not i will eat you
if not i will eat you
LALALA!
LALALA!
*sing in the are you slping, brother john, tune! :D

woots. :D

and ohhyes.
while walking out of sch,
FIFI ALMOST FELL LAH!
hahaha. :D
cuz it was raining and the floor was wet.
so fifi was trying to show us how he could skid.
and WHOA!
he almost fell!
it's super funny lah! hah. :D

on the way to amk hub,
i was high! AS USUAL. :D
and cuz chongyang and weiteng not gonna watch movie,
yet they were FOLLOWING us.
so i was like holding on to shir
and shouting STALKER!
hahaha. :D

and giant is so UN-HIGH today please.
okay lah, just not as high as usual.
ok dont get me wrong, he's still as TALL as before. :D
but he's still fond of making fun of reggie.
and so are the others.
so mean please.
haha. :D

and somehow, amk hub is like so popular today. -.-
full like siao please.
and the movie ticket queue was horrendous lah.
so we dint bother to queue.
went straight to jubilee.
and WOOTS.
there were tickets. :D

below are some photos we took
just before entering the cinema. :D

i think fifi's hungry. :D

and he made me hungry too. yummy grapes. :D

and this is the clinque. (:

the clinque again, in different positions, with fifi UNSEE-ABLE. -.-

the first part of the show was already super cute and funny please.
you've gotta watch it to know what i'm saying.
and it's not even related to the show!
but then again, it IS related to the show.
ok nvm, i'm not making sense anymore. hah.
so just watch it urself. :D

and it's just so cute lah the whole show.
the rat is like ultra cute.
and so is the man.
hahaha.
my $6.50 was worth it! :D

ohhyes.
we walked in the rain like FOUR times today!
WOOHOO.
like so long never walk in the rain le.
so shuang please. :D

but got once we waited for the traffic light to become red,
super long lah!
den me and shir got quite wet.
while zirui was hiding under his lil umbrella.
hahaha. :D

and we smuggled bubble tea into the cinema!
so woots. :D
it’s like BUBBLE TEA. :D
and lots and lots of stickers!
collect for fun. heh. :D
but i dint have my mr bean ice cream! ):

ohhohh.
and my phone really died on me. -.-
went home phoneless in a way.
hahaha.
and I fell aslp on the train.
and dint manage to say bye to garrett. heh.

and and, i pigged when i reach home! ):
AGAIN. =/
i woke up when my dad called me .
and YES, he’s BACK!
woots.
haven’t seen him in a while. (:

ok and i had 4 missed calls
and NINE messages when i woke up.
WOW. -.-
and the whole world knows i pigged please. -.-
whole world = whole gang.

things are looking better than before.
and i’m glad it did.
will things ever turn out the way i imagine it to be?
and does that first step mean anything?
i hope it does. (:

yet i still dont wanna believe in it.
because it requires more faith than ever.
and I havent found that faith.
at least, not yet.

and it’s FULL GANG OUTING tmr! :D
ohh and p.s i inspiried jas and ern to do tributes too! :D

2007-09-03T01:54:00.000+08:00

if the hero never comes to you,
if you need someone you're feeling blue;
if you're away from love and you're alone,
if you call your friends and nobody's home.

you can run away but you can't hide;
through a storm and through a lonely night,
then i'll show you there's a destiny;
the best things in life,
they are free.

but if you wanna cry,
cry on my shoulder;
if you need someone who cares for you,
if you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder;
yes i'll show you what real love can do.

if your sky is grey oh let me know,
there's a place in heaven where we'll go;
if heaven is a million years away,
oh just call me and i'll make your day.

when the nights are getting cold and blue,
when the days are getting hard for you;
i will always stay here by your side,
i promise you i'll never hide.

but if you wanna cry,
cry on my shoulder;
if you need someone who cares for you,
if you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder;
yes i'll show you what real love can do.

2007-09-02T22:49:00.000+08:00

WOOTS.

and it's sunday once again! :D

woke up on time today lah.

ON MY OWN.

so woots.

it's an achievement okay. :D

played at tkk 11am today.

and zoe has taken a break due to her prelims. ):

worship was almost over

by the time i reached the promise. ):

had holy communion today as well.

plus i paid my tithes and mission offering! :D

and today video announcement is super cute lah! :D

saw SOMEBODY in his super young self.

during amazing sinapore last yr.

HAHAHA.

and CS too!
catching fish. -.- hah.

and PASTOR NAH!

he's super cute please!

was promoting for all things K.

and he actually played a keyboard on the beach!

just like stairway to heaven, is it?!

i dont know, but it's just super cute please! :D

den it was preaching by pastor marion.

and i did NOT fall aslp. :D

she talked about prophecy/rapture.

super convicting,

and in a way scary, cuz she talked about revelation. ):

and RAPTURE IS THE ONLY WAY TO FLY.

so cute please. :D

ohhyes.

many people disregard the importance of prophetics scriptures.

but ppl who dont, must be careful not to become spiritually proud! :D

must not let the knowledge we have induce a sense of pride in us. (:

God's prophecy has a purpose

but it is not to satisfy our curiosity.

it goes beyond that. (:

His reasons:

1. to prove the authority of the bible.

2. reveals God's power and wisdom. (:

3. reveals the purpose of God.

4. brings peace in us.

5. greatest purpose is to produce in His children a holy life! (:

and the answer to a troubled heart is FAITH. (:

and and; God doesnt require us to be first,

while running His race.

He only wants us to COMPLETE it. :D

okay, that's the gist of today's sermon. :D

and den it's partial gang outing after that.

me bf and PA2 hadta wait so long for the tkk teachers. ):

but cant blame them also.

cuz they doing it for God. (:

plus, it's one-day-late teachers' day! :D

and they received lots of gifts frm the little ones.

super sweet please. (:

me and bf waited the longest please.

and had a 'stalker' by the side. -.-

den when PA2 finished,

we went to northpoint first.

bf requested to go timezone.

and i beat him at racing. :D

ohhya.

there was this pram with a baby inside lah.

at timezone, somewhat near the counter.

and it looked as if someone abandoned it?

i mean, logically, who would leave a baby alone!

i kept looking out for it.

but nobody seemed to be related to it or sth.

kinda worrying. =/

ohh well
there was hardly anything i could do. ):

and it was outside macs to wait for cs and jas.

PA2 read newspaper while me and bf just stoned. -.-

and when they came, we had a hard time deciding where to go.

and the two PAs were disgressing badly!

to sai SOCCER. -.-

so dumb please. hahaha.

finally, it was nebo at amk hub.

cuz we wanted to play the games.
but ahh, they changed the rules?

and now gaming is like $6per person?

it used to be free BEFORE national day.

when me shir reggie zhao liang brendan fifi and kartik went.

SOME SAI. ):

end up we just eat loh.

and talked crap.

and of course, PHOTOS.

but sadly, NO BUBBLE TEA TODAY. ):

cuz queue was long and we were full.

JASMINE GAN IS REJECTING BUBBLE TEA FOR THE SECOND TIME.

while;

VIRNICE NG IS REJECTING BUBBLE TEA FOR THE FIRST TIME. ):

record broken please. hah.

i had cheese sausage spaghetti.

bf had chocolate waffle.

PA1 had some peach drink.

PA2 had black pepper spaghetti

and jas had fries.

well, we all had fries. :D

walked around in amk hub after that.

and NO MOVIE-ING. hah.

jas bought some stuff.

while i finally bought my combS!

notice the S.

i need more than 1 cuz i keep losing them. :D

OHHYES.

sth really funny happened.

bf knocked his head on the metal thingy

that was hanging all the hp covers.
and cs laughed so hard!

and when he wanted to tell me and jas what happened,

he had to STRETCH OUT HIS HANDS TO POINT TO BF.

and guess what,

it hit some auntie's NOSE!

hahaha!

it's super funny lah!

i laugh until cry please. -.-

and until my rib cage pain like siao. ):

but it's really damn funny lah. haha.

and den it was the big and spacious NTUC!

met joanne jasmine joey and shu ning. :D
and jas did not buy her tuna mayonise.

and cs did sth nice by returning it to its original place. :D

after that it was a $1.20 chicken wing for cs.

p.s WHAT A RIP OFF.

and milk ice with choc for me and jas! :D

more FATS please. ):

next was popular.

bought my nice and cute smiley faces stickers.

and it was zonex?

55cents only!

CLAIMS BF. -.-

and racing again!

bf came in FIRST this time.

and i came in SECOND PLEASE. :D

jas was 3rd while cs was 4th.

and GAB WAS LAST.

thanks to me.

WOOTS. :D

but i got like some brown sai car.

and jas got GREEN. :D

bf got red. hah.

and cs got blue. -.-

and gab got pink! HAHAHA.

and it was home after that.

everyone was pretty tired by then.

and what a mugging-LESS day. ):

i'm so dead please.

promos is like less than a month away,

and i barely started! ):

HELP?

i seriously need to start mugging. ):

why did it happen so many times.

those were definitely not merely coincidences.

it's just not possible.

i feel like i'm straying away.

but till now, i'm not even sure of what's inside.

and it still seem and feel strange.

i dont know what's going on anymore.

will things continue to remain this way?

if things dont turn out the way i thot it would,

will that lil connection be lost?

will my story ever be told?

countdown, eight days.

and it's presence over presents. (:

2007-09-01T23:05:00.000+08:00

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNE,
and;
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIMAS! :D

a few years later,
i could be celebrating this day too. (:
cuz my ambition is to become either a teacher or a lawyer.
and lawyer's kinda difficult
cuz my eng CMI. ):
and anyway, i msg mr zheng today too!
but sadly, no reply. ):
ohh well.

and this is the picture of nine, or rather, FIVE.
took it when we met up on friday!
LOVED. :D

ah hah, i woke up at 12 plus today. :D
how pig please. haha.
used comp to print some lyrics for drumming
den headed off to church with my mum. (:

bought rochers for kirk!
and wrote him a small lil card.
cuz it's TEACHER'S DAY. :D
and i learnt hosanna today!
WOOTS. :D
and some funny beat.
it's like continuation from the other week.
and kirk say i was doing well! :D

but i must practise more lah.
the drum set at home like white elephant already.
so long never touch. ):
i think i need to set aside time to practise.
so i can improve more and faster. :D

and i think i'm gonna upgrade my drum set soon!
gonna get more cymbals i think.
so YAY. :D
this gives me even more reasons to practise!

and it's heart.sports after practice today!
was almost late for 4x100m lah!
cuz couldnt get a cab, plus got jam!
i was so worried lah. ):

end up, i reach there like so big shot please.
so paiseh lah! -.-
and i had to wear my spikes in the cab??!!
so funny please! haha.

and i ran so shitty today. ):
actually the running was okay.
it's the passing that is shitty! ):

cuz i saw that deborah was gonna fall.
so i STEPPED OVER THE DUMB WHITE LINE to get the baton.
and DQ lah! ):
what sai.
caused the whole team's victory.
ARGH.
so angry with myself. ):

but the guys ran really well for 4x100m!
and dolphin's 4x200m guys and girls all cmi.
but it's okay!
i still think they all ran well.
so thank God for a good race! :D

*it doesnt matter whether we win or lose.
it's about trying our best.
and when we've done so, God will do the rest. (:
He will give us what we deserve.

and bf cried today. ):
so poor thing please!
you shld have seen his face lah.
just makes you feel lost and dont know what to do. ):
so bf, i just wanna tell u something:

YOU RAN WELL TODAY!
GF AND GANG IS SO PROUD OF YOU!
AND DONT BLAME YOURSELF FOR WHATEVER THAT HAS HAPPENED.
CUZ YOU STILL ROCK!
MUCH LOVED. :D

and we won rounders today!
so WOOTS. :D
but we lost bball and vball. ):
vball was a real close fight.
but whatever it is,
i still wanna thank God for helping us get into the major finals
for ALL THREE SPORTS. :D

and i've learnt the power of prayer today.
right there, on that small green field. (:

it was the 4th set.
and everything seemed bleak for the dolphins.
but we did not give up hope.
me and mich clinged on to that last hope of prayer.
she told me how she prayed when they were losing rounders.
and God gave them victory. (:

so as the both of us stood there,
looking at the dolphins play their hearts out,
we decided to pray.
there and then,
each time we closed our eyes and prayed to God,
we scored a point.
until, WE WON THAT SET. :D
PRAISE GOD!

however, things still looked as bleak as ever in the final set.
and even tho jas joined the both of us in prayer,
this time, our prayers dint seem to be working.
but does that mean God has stopped listening to us?

the answer is NO.
cuz God is always there, listening to every single word of our prayer.
but the thing is, GOD IS FAIR.
for the dolphins to come thus far,
it's already a miracle.
and i think it was a well-deserved win for the marlins.
so congrats to marlins.
and God is still FAITHFUL. (:

how inspiring was that? :D
but on a serious note,
everything i say is true.
so i hope it encourages anyone out there
who has lost hope in prayer.
because God is faithful. :D
and He is always listening.

ok so it's like dinner with gang W/O BF after heart.sports.
AGAIN. ):
and this time, it's at far east.
at some nice cutlet shop
that laoda used to always bring me there to eat. :D

my stomach was like sai all the way.
mayb cuz i survived the whole day
on just TWO kitkats. :D
and hungry period was over by the time we reached there.
but mich still asked me to eat.
cuz she suspected it's gastric?

end up, she helped me eat a lil.
and so did ernest and PA1.

ok i had chicken cutlet noodle.
mich had tomyam soup.
jas had chicken cutlet.
ern and PA2 had chicken cutlet rice.
and PA1 had curry chicken rice. :D
and not forgetting, BUBBLE TEA. :D

and i took a spoonful of mich's TOM YAM SOUP!
YUMYUM. :D

and ok, ernest got bored while waiting for us to finish.
so TA DA!
this is his creation,
with a lil of jas and mich help,
the MASH of LOVE?
hahaha. :D
and YUCK.
ohhya.
forgot to mention that sth funny happened at the bus stop lah!
first it was LIVE updates frm jas mich and ern. :D
and den, when we were sitting down waiting for our bus,
67 came and alot of ppl were trying to get in.
and the bus driver refused to close the door
cuz one of them was on the steps.

so being kind souls,
we signalled for the ppl in the middle to move in.
p.s they were so inconsiderate please!
and mich even went to the back door and ask them to move in lah!
and they just smiled at us. -.-

apparrantly, they were from china?
and mich spoke in eng so they dint understand.
but our actions were quite clear lah.
mayb they thot we were performing for them or sth.
and the six of us looked pathetic and psychotic. -.-
desperately trying to make them understand our hand signs.
and finally, after countless attempts and effort from us,
they moved in and the bus moved off.
hahaha. what an experience. -.-

so after dinner.
the three guys went home
while the three girls went marks&spencers
mainly to find our anni gifts. hah. :D

and mich thigh hurts like siao please.
poor girl. cant walk properly. ):
PLEASE TAKE CARE GIRL!
and see a doc if u must.

okay now for random stuff again. :D

RANDOM NO.1
as i stood there on friday.
singing worshipping and raising my hands towards God.
many thots ran thru my mind.

are we just raising our hands because everyone else is?
or because it's like a routine kinda thing?
or because we're afraid what ppl will think of us if we dont?

we do it on fridays and sundays.
and sometimes even on tuesdays.
what is on everyone's mind when they lift their hands?
do they really want to surrender everything to God?
do they really worship Him frm the bottom of their hearts?

same thing for alter call.
are we going to the alter because everyone is
and we're afraid of being left alone at the seats?
or because it is a routine kinda thing again?
or because we're really convicted by what the pastor has shared?

i dont know about everyone else.
but i know i'm guilty.
guilty of lifting my hands to God
and going to the alter as a routine kinda thing.
but as those thots were running thru my mind,
i made a promise before God.

i promise Him that whenever i worship Him,
whenever i lift my hands towards Him,
whenever i'm going to the alter,
whenever i'm on my knees,
whenever i'm crying before Him,
i'll mean it everything from the bottom of my heart.

because i love Him.
and i know He loves me more than i can ever imagine.
i only want to surrender everything to Him.
because He has given everything to me.

RANDOM NO.2
when will this sai stop lah.
all the hyprocrisy.
all the jealousy.
all the anger.

yet if there wasnt such hyprocrisy,
such jealousy,
such anger,
we wouldnt need God.

we wouldnt need God to teach us how to love.
how to love with his AGAPE kinda love. (:

RANDOM NO.3
is that a diff way of showing feelings?
a harsher way but actually it means love care &concern?
i dont know.
i cant tell.
but it really eats into me.

yet i'm still happy the way things are right now.
but i choose not to believe.
because believing it might make me go the wrong way again.
and i dont want history to repeat itself.
slowly and unknowingly.

loving, undefined.

and shir, please love this post because it's PINK. :D

2007-08-31T23:36:00.000+08:00

hello hello! (:
it's the end of the month!
so guess what,
it's a NEW BEGINNING for my smses! :D
my august is like so dead please.
at least 3336 sms. -.-
NEW RECORD. hah.
last one was at 2901.
hahaha. :D

woots.
i slept at like 4plus last nite?
desperately trying to finish the teachers' day flowers.
and some cards.
which i dumbly did NOT give some today.
while the flowers kinda unfolded cuz they got squashed in my bag. -.-
that's what u get for being lazy okay! ):

and and, i'm sorry but i ponned sch today. ):
because aj is how dumb please.
lessons end at 4.45pm for me lah!
cuz we celebrated teachers' day on monday.
so it's normal friday for me if i went to sch.
PLEASE FEEL MY AGONY. :D

and so, i'm sorry shir, for pangsehing u and JH.
to do the magic thingy.
but i gave u all the COVER-UP idea!
hehe. :D

ok i went back to tk at ard 9.
and KWOK YEOK FEI was THREE hours late please. -.-
i waited alone like an idiot lah. ):

12 plus den all the old tksians started to flood tk.
saw many long-time-no-see frens.
some ppl look damn different lah.
almost couldnt recognised them. hah.

saw mrs tey, mr foo, mdm ong and ms yap today! :D
talked abit to each of them.
and it always gets weird when we run out of things to say.
or when we think we've talked for too long and needed to go,
it was so difficult to end the conversation. hah. :D

talked the longest to ms yap.
best geog teacher ever please. (:
she looks so stressed up, and so pale and weak.
poor thing.
think cuz prelims and Os coming. ):

and also, ms ada tan left already lah! ):
my fav e math teacher please.
saw many new faces.
and some really old ones. hah. :D

and i saw him today too.
didnt have any big reactions.
even felt happy for him and her.
so YAY, i think i'm like totally over him.
WOOT. :D

was supposed to lunch with NINE,
or rather, FOUR. -.-
and cuz the twins came quite late.
so we left tk quite late too.
so no choice. ):
i cant believe i chose mugging over them lah! ):

and so it's the meeting up with the two PAs at northpoint.
wanted to study at BK.
but PA1 saw his frens. -.-
at first i suggested bishan,
PA2 say dont want see his frens.
den go yishun, see PA1 frens.
so ma fan please. -.-
might as well go kembangan.
hahaha. :D

so end up, we WALKED to yishun library,
only to find out it was too small to fit the three of us. -.-
went to macs instead lah.
and mugging session begins. :D
by then, we wasted bout 1 hr just looking for a place to study. -.-
how dumb! hahaha.

PA1 disgressed after awhile.
with his dumb psp. -.-
and PA2 decided to test him.
and because he studied the BOOK OF LOVE,
he could rmb that THE GREAT DEPRESSION HAPPENED IN 1928. :D

as for me, i was being the good influence there! :D
and application of integration couldnt get into my dumb brain,
so i worked on differential equations.
which i totally messed up as well. -.-
so FRUITLESS today. ):

and teacher did not prove himself PRO today.
but he did prove that i'm DUMB.
thanks hor. -.-

dinner was at food court at northpoint.
met up with jas and mich.
mich trimmed her hair. :D

and it was chicken cutlet noodle for me,
black pepper chicken fried rice for jas,
diet for mich,
and ban mians for the two PAs.
and of course, BUBBLE TEA. :D

woot.
big news.
JASMINE GAN REJECTED BUBBLE TEA TODAY!
ohh how is that possible?
SAI STOMACH. ):

and did i metion that dinner was my first meal for today?
other than that, had only one wang wang.
plus an ice cream from macs before dinner.
so WOOT.
i hope i lose those fats. and FAST. :D

i feel so fat please!
havent run in ages lah! ):
ANGELA LAI!
u better YUE wo to run soon!
and heh, i know we're supposed to self train today.
but ponning sch was too tempting. :D
so please date me out again for RUNNING and MUGGING! :D

ok we went to uncle tidbits after dinner.
me and jas bout sweets of love for our bfs.
and jas bought chocs of joy for PA1.
and i bought coke of joy for PA2.
see what nice bosses they have lah! :D
and they better feel joyful eating it. :D

service was quite chim today.
pastor dale shared about how our calling matters to God.
and it was the first time i saw so many words on the screen. hah.

1. God's calling does not require us to be number 1.
and the accomplishment of our dreams/careers does not neccessary lead to happiness.
making it number 1 is just knowing where God wants us to be,
serving Him with our BEST efforts. :D

2.God's calling does not mean attaining fulfilment.
it is possible to find meaning without achieving extraordinary success. (:

so, what is a calling?
it is simply God's shaping of our burden and beckoning us to our service to Him in the place and pursuit of HIS choosing, not ours.

and God reinforces His calling when we respond. (:
and we need FAITH to respond to the call of God.
if we know what is ahead of us, no FAITH is required!
and we all have sacred calling. (:

to see the zoomed-in picture, we need:
(a) to possess a prayer life!
(b) to possess humility
*the willingness to outshine, while shining for God! :D
(c) to possess the counsel and influence of godly men and women. (:

yupp, those are the main points of today's sharing.
i feel that it's very meaningful lah. (:
and i've been thinking bout becoming a g12 assistant all this while.
but i know, this kinda thing is must pastor approach u and all.
plus, i'm already back-up singer and a drummer.
is that considered two ministries already? ):
but in any case, i'll just pray bout it. (:

ohhyes.
sat with the gang during service today.
WOOTS. :D
and bf! your hair is ok lah!
u dont need that dumb cap. :D
and sai stomach during service too. ):

hmm pastor queebeng talked to the runners after service.
just told us our positions for 4x100m and 4x200m.
i think dolphins got chance lah. WOOTS. :D
but still gotta depend on God. (:

and depression is so funny today lah please?
so random. hah.
bf was like just asking if we eating supper.
den i was like cant, cuz i wanna take the shuttle.
den depression was like EHH HE'S YOUR BF LEH.
hah! so random please! :D

ohh ohh and i saw camden today!
was asking him if he remembered my name.
and he was like, JIE JIE JERNICE!
hahaha. :D
okok. he still dint get the name right,
but at least, he remembered what he called me last sat!
WOOTS. :D

ok managed to catch the shuttle bus.
and i actually slept thru the whole journey.
and guess what.
i knocked my head against the window! ):
now not only arm got orh cheh,
now head also got orh cheh. ):

today on the way to yishun also hit my head against the glass panel thingy. ):
den i just pretended that nothing happened. =/
so paiseh lah. hah. :P
so i need a shoulder please.
this is not the first time. haha. :D
*are you willing to lend me that shoulder. (:

and ohh yes.
did i mention how popular the orh cheh on my arm is? -.-
everyone who saw that orh cheh,
runs enthusiastically towards me.
and start pressing it like nobody's business. -.-
they love to see me in pain. hah.
eg. ANNE CHUA AN-YUAN! :D

and it's mee sua for bestie.
so we took 67.
and i barely fell aslp again.
PHOBIA lah please. ):

RANDOM RANDOM! :D

will histories repeat themselves again?
i'm really really afraid.
because everything's happening just like before.

why cant things happen the same behind the rectangular screen
and right in front of my eyes.
am i walking in the right direction?

and was it merely a coincidence.
but there's no such thing as coincidence
because everything's under God's control.
so was it a kind of connection.
that lil connection. (:

2007-08-30T20:46:00.000+08:00

ahhh, i wanted to blogged last nite.
but i pigged instead. -.-
argh i had to lie on my bed for 10 min?!
and 10 min became 4 hours. -.-

and i felt like sai last night please!
had stomach ache just before prayer request and testimony time.
told them my prayer request den went to toilet.
TWICE somemore! ):

and i dint get to eat my moo moo ice cream lah! ):
and alvin threatened to finish it!
AHHH, MY MOO MOO. ):

and bestie is back!
WOOT. :D
and her fren lost my camera cover lah. -.-
but i heard he bought another one for $15.
so it's BYE old camera cover
and HELLO new camera cover. :D

okok nothing really happened in sch yest.
just that yest during sch we followed mon timetable.
cuz aj is dumb. :D

so had pe lah.
and why wasnt there any threatening clouds?! -.-
so we ran four rounds
and den played badmintion.

and i went mad during math lect.
cuz i was desperately trying to stay awake.
den got once, WIFE smack my arm lah!
cuz i fell aslp. heh. :D

and after sch went to amk to some handicraft shop
to find flower making stuff.
i think i'm so dead please.
have less than 24 hours to make them!

shir accompanied me btw!
and everything also she helped me to ask.
WOOT shir rocks. :D
and we also got this flower + red pen for ms tay.

ohhyes. and we had MR BEAN ICE CREAM! :D
it was the third ice cream for me that day. hah.
and omg? i'm supposed to diet lah! -.-
nvm, mr bean is 4.2kg of fats ONLY.

went to meet jas and mich after that.
for dinner.
bf called me on the way.
and talked about his sai new haircut.
haha. i still think u look cute! :D
*tho i havent seen u yet. hehe.
and please DO NOT wear a cap. -.-

had dinner at bedok interchange.
saw zhang!
and he is like how funny please!
came up next to me and said,
IS THAT VIRNICE.
hahahha. so funny lah.
and when i said i was waiting for my frens,
he insisted i was waiting for my boyfriend. -.-

OHH YES. JASMINE GAN IS MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT?! :D
nel = bf
jas = boyfriend.
different please? :D

and it all started with my mum. -.-
was telling her that my bill gonna be real high this month.
ask her deduct from my allowance.
and den she went, YOU GOT BOYFRIEND AH?
last two nights, talking to who until so late?

it's JASMNE GAN please!
hahaha. :D
and so bf, i am FAITHFUL. :D

so anyway, it was chicken rice for dinner. :D
and beancurd for mich.
and wanton mee for jas. :D

we met pastor alan while waitng for bus to g12.
and he bought moo moo lah! :D
but had stomach ache when i was g12-ing.
argh. ):

and today is thursday.
and thursdays sux. ):
because it's always a long long day.
with like only 1 and a half hour break
in btwn my lessons frm 7.45am to 5.45pm.
sai lah. ):

but today stomach also damn shitty. ):
whole morning pain until like siao.
cant focus at all.
and den giant insisted that it was FOOD POISONING. -.-
i was so worried lah.
cuz got pain to the extent that i cant walk properly. ):

so after math lect,
i left to see the doc.
but by then, the pain almost gone.
giant and his sai logic. -.-
hahaha.

and shir, brendan and fifi were nice enuf
to accompany and show me the way to amk polyclinc
cuz they dont take pw.
and they got caught in the rain lah!
i feel so bad. ):
but i offered my umbrella!
and got REJECTED. ):

ok the doctor is like sai please?
dont even know what's wrong with me.
and say i got gastric when i already ate so much! -.-

i went home to pig again after that.
ahh, i'm so dead lah.
gonna put on more weight.
argh. ):

ok and i just shouted at my lil sis.
her attitude is like really bad lah.
and she clings on to the comp like her lifeline liddat. -.-

when i came home, she was at the comp.
when i asked her if she had any hw,
she said no.
when i woke up, she's STILL at the comp.
which is like 3 hours later. -.-
den after i said i wanna use,
i see her going to the table to learn her spelling.
that is not hw ah?!
argh. but my mum cant be the bad guy so i had to be.
and i'm gonna delete her stupid game!

RAAHHH.
her studies like sai already.
her attitude even more sai.
when i scolded her, she whine like as if she's not in the wrong. -.-
argh. please pray for her. ):

okok. now for tag replies.
mainly to the 6 long tags.
umm, i wont deny i was refering to the group of you.
so first and foremost, sorry if i offended any of you.
but i was just putting down my thots.
isnt that what blogs are for? hmm.

and i wasnt judging.
hopeless is rather my way of saying, i got nothing else to say?
not that kind of hopeless HOPELESS?
cuz all who are found in God are not hopeless. (:

and about the form of communication thing,
i have nth to say.
but i hope u all will put urselves in my shoes.
and see what awkward position u all have put me in
when u all did ur form of communication that day.

and actually, dont mind my frankness,
but i think u all were trying to get my attention just before we went up the bus ya?
so u all were abit loud.
and to tell you the truth, i dint exactly like that.

and sometimes jokes shldnt be carried too far?
so ya, hope you all understand too.
and once again, i'm sorry if my way of writing down my thots has offended u all.
hope this wont cause any other misunderstanding between us. (:

and tmr's friday!
and i miss the gang already!
esp bf please.
havent seen him in ages! hah. :D

and did i ever say how much i LOVE weekends.
cuz weekends = God + sports + GANG. :D

and i love shirley too!
because without her in dumb ajc,
i would never have survived life here for the last 8 months. :D
girl, we gotta promote together. (:

and WOOT. :D
i hope it's hairspray with FULL GANG attendance after heart.sports on sat hor! :D
probably my last movie before mugging FULL TIME for promos. ):
and gang, let us all do well in exams to glorify God! :D

and the last part of my post always belong to my random thots.

please stop bothering her.
and telling her stuff that she doesnt wanna know.
she and you are so different.
so stop comparing cuz u'll never find the similarities.
and u're only doing that because u feel inferior.
we are a unique bunch and there's nth you can do about it.

and stop being so full of yourself.
acting like you're so concerned about others
when u're only concerned about urself.
whatever happened between the both of you,
can only be solved by the both of you.
so stop thinking about how others can help you
and start thinking about how you can help urself.

and now, for another part of my random thots. WOOT. :D

is it gonna be lost soon,
that lil connection.
why is it so different,
to the extent that i cant even tell.

and mayb that's a good start.
but i'm unsure about how it will end.
sometimes it feels so right,
yet other times it feels so far.

i wish i could take a peek into the future.
so that i will know if i'm making the right decisions now.
but then life is about making mistakes and learning from them.
it's just that i made too many mistakes and learn too lil.

so please dont let me go the wrong way.
because i'm afraid there's no turning back.
somewhere between the holding on and the letting go.

*show me how to love like You have loved me. (:

2007-08-29T00:48:00.000+08:00

ohh hello.
i'm on the phone with jasmine gan now. :D
and we just came over sth interesting. :D

SORWIEE jas. i love you!
thanks for everything. i love you!
even tho we 'quarrel' at times, but i love you!
and i'm talking on the phone with you now. i love you!
happy gang day. i love you!
will you miss me? i love you!
are we going out tmr? i love you!
sorrwie my phone died on us just now. i love you!

ok jasmine gan!
i ran out of things to say with I LOVE YOU. -.-
hah. :D

okok. today was SLACK day.
woot. :D
cuz chinese was surprisingly CANCELLED.
and that means no AFL. :D
and so was PE. :D
well, not exactly cancelled lah.
just that we could go after taking height and weight.

and it was so shitty please!
cuz i gained weight and dint grow in height??!!
i need to go on diet already lah. ):
and sai, i'm like chocolat-ing now?!
hah.

nth much happened in sch today.
i was high as usual. :D
but i fell aslp during geog lect. -.-
had my hot dog bun and COFFEE.
and coffee makes me high. :D

other than that, i was like math.
and more math.
and more and more math.
and more application of integration.
and more and more summation.
MATH DRIVES ME NUTS. -.-

thankfully, SOMEONE offered to teach me
after he has revised that topic, right? :D
cuz he needs to prove that he is a good teacher,
and that i'm dumb. -.-

and jasmine gan called me using her handphone! :D
while i was eating cup noodles in school. hah.
and we talked till ernest met up with her. :D

so after pe, i chiong to khatib macs please. :D
met up with jas cs and ernest.
den had dinner at some random kopitam.
as recommended by the khatib tour guide. :D

first we saw this old man
who eats with chopstick and fork?!
what a funny combi lah. hah.
den we saw kirk and jasmine. :D
ohh and i'm getting a kirk a teacher's day present! :D

okok. so it was like fish porridge for me?
i'm on a diet please!
some noodles thingy for cs and ernest.
and fish soup for jasmine gan! :D

and we dint miss the church shuttle!
despite the super slow speed we were walking at. hah.
and cs keep asking me why i so kan jiong. -.-
we need to walk faster/more to lose weight! :D

today's worship was super long please.
at least half an hour.
but i loved it more than anything else.
cuz only singing and worshipping
can express how i feel towards God. (:
that no mere words can. :D

den it was praying.
and den devotion.
and ohh, PA2 was super late lah. hah.
came when we were praying.
den jas was like blocking his way.
and she dint move when i shook her quite hard.
den he almost hit her head can!
EVIL.
but jas got back at him by hitting his leg.
hahaha. :D

there were refreshments after the prayer meeting.
some za dan? haha. sotong ball and curry puff. :D
but i dint eat any cuz still full frm dinner.

ohhyes!
my arm suddenly lost feeling during the devotion lah. ):
like no strength and felt wobbly.
think it's caused by the bite/blueblack.
it looks really bad and BLACK now. ):
ahh, grace!
gonna pull out her hair. hah. :D

okok and it was bubbletea after that! :D
we waited TWO minutes for that sai PA.
and sth stupid happened at the bus stop there lah.
talk loud. want attention. childish actions. hopeless people. -.-
ernest nah was irritated too. :D
and i rushed up the 806 as soon as it arrived. :D

after buying our fav bubbletea.
it was card buying to stupid fifi!
reggie forgot to buy and asked to me.
so now i'm broke. ): hah.
and gang went with me to buy the card!

at cards and such.
ernest and his sai laughter.
and he &cs FREE SIZE thingy.
super funny please!
laughed until my rib cage there pain. hah. :D

and jasmine gan!
course #????!!!!
titled : HOW TO LAUGH DECENTLY, WITH THE CORRECT PITCH! AND WITH IMAGE PLEASE. :D
for ernest nah okay! hah.

and cs is some sai please.
stupid two letters.
secret's safe with gang.
u promised!

p.s i'm having bf withdrawal symptoms. ): hah.

somewhere between the wrong and the right.
the hot and the cold.
the darkness and the light.
the whisper and the roar.
are we somewhere there yet?

sometimes it seems to be.
yet at other times it doesnt.
what does it mean by everyday.
and every hour
and every minute.
right beside me.

i want to believe.
yet i'm afraid it'll hurt again.
dare not have high hopes.
yet it's starting all over again.

so do you; or do you not.
should i; or should i not.

2007-08-28T00:37:00.000+08:00

BOOO.
lalala.
had teachers' day celebration in school today.
was pushed forward due to the A lvl prelims
starting on wed i think.
that is super retarded lah please.
every other sch celebrating on friday.
and because of that, i cant go back to TK on fri
cuz i end sch at 4.45pm.
THANKS AH, AJ. -.-

so anyway, ACES day was dumb as usual.
but reggie's damn cute.
made the dancing part aint that bad.
reggie shir and me was laughing the whole way thru.
at all the stupid movements.
but overall was quite okay i guess?

den was performance at the hall.
first event organised by the new student council.
kinda sux? =X
was quite disorganized and all.
and the mcs dont seem prepared?
ahh, whatever.
aj performances nvr appealed to me before anyway.
their national day performance was how shitty lah. -.-
hahaha. :D

so anyway, we slacked in the hall for awhile after the performance.
and while shir and me was away at the locker,
garrett's pants SPLIT!!!
hahahaha! damn funny please.
and guess what's the first thing he said??!!
WHO GOT STAPLER??!!
hahahhahahaaa!
super funny lah!
so in the end he borrowed reggie's bag to cover up
and went home to get changed first. :D

left sch around 10.30am.
went to amk hub with almost the same grp of ppl.
me shir reggie giant fifi brendan.
had MACS for brunch. -.-
and garrett met up with us later.

it was loads and loads of laughter at macs.
and i'm always the first one to laugh,
stop for awhile,
and when everyone stopped laughing already,
i start laughing again.
damn retarded please.
hahaha. :D

it started to pour when we wanted to leave macs.
we ran in the rain to get to amk hub
which was about 10m away?
and giant was the one who said DONT WANT RUN IN THE RAIN.
end up, he ran first. -.-
and den me!
he was my guinea pig!
cuz he kept stepping into large puddles and water
and splashing everywhere!
i was smart enuf and avoided the places he stepped on. :D

we took a very looooooooooonnngg time to decide wat show to watch lah.
they wanted dead silence but i die die also dont want. :D
so we ended up with BORNE ULTIMATUM. -.-
and me and shir took loads and loads of post cards!
hah. and shir insisted it's our rights cuz it said, PLEASE take one. :D

and den it was random shopping at NTUC.
and i finally got my track pants! so yay. :D
and got POCKY and PANDA.
for future mugging sessions. :D

ok. so the show is like SAI?
the action part not bad lah, quite ci ji.
but i dont get the storyline lah.
so quite SAI. hahah. :D
and i fell aslp at the last part of the show.

worst of all, i was msging almost the whole movie?
hah. and bf is so cute please!
he called knowing i was in the cinema lah.
cuz i said i was bored. hah. :D

and i dint watch hairspray!
so that means it's hairspray with GANG! :D
please watch it asap cuz my exams are near. ):

ohhyes.
can i officially announce that FIRDAUS IS SUCH AN ASS?!
he was boxing the bitemark/blueblack on my hand like nonstop lah!
and now it's even more swollen than yest! ):
argh. stupid fifi.

and it was HOME after movie.
bf called and we talked quite abit.
and den i met mrs goh on the train.
pretended not to see her
but ahh, the person next to me had to leave
and she sat next to me. -.-
talked abit before i reached my stop!
so yay. :D aint that bad.

and bf walked up to PA2's hse can!
21 storeys lah!
and when i asked him why,
he said cuz if he take lift den no reception
cuz he was talking to me on the phone!
so sweet please! (: hah.

okok and the rest of the day,
i was just desperately trying to post all the photos u see below. :D

and and and!
i found out that it was just an accident!
thanks to PA2.
felt better after knowing the truth.
and she apologised.
so yay. :D
i was glad i shook her hand too! (:

okok. random thots again.
these few days keep going into deep thots.
think only jasmine gan knows why. ):

i got alot of things to say to this person in my class.
and i shall say it here.

can you please stop deceiving me to get my sympathy?
not only me, others as well!
so sick and tired of your stupid lies.
i really wanna trust you but it's not possible.
cuz the facts are right before my eyes.
i know i called u bestfriend and you too do the same.
but, how when u're just trying to lie ur way thru?

u told me SHE broke up with you.
i was so worried that u'll be so affected.
tried so hard to cheer u up
and in the end i found out that u two are still together?!
how dumb was i.

and i thot i was the only one u talked to
whenever u're down and troubled.
and den i find out u talk to other girls about ur probs as well?
turn out u're one big flirt and liar.
how could u even do this to HER.

and u said u wanted to avoid her cuz she likes you.
and one day she was standing next to me when u called her to tell her u have a competition?
so that is called avoiding?
and u dint even get angry when she gave you that surprise?
u have let HER down!

and now, because i dont wanna hurt anyone.
i cant say anything.
i cant even say this in your face lah.
feel like i'm such a hypocrite.
havta fake like i'm so concerned about u when i'm not at all.
so will you please stop it.
and be faithful to her?
SIGH.

okok i'm done complaining. :D
feel so much better.
think only clar knows everything ba.
and it sounds like i'm the third party right.
but nope, dont get it wrong cuz i'm definitely not.

now for deeper thots.
havent been walking in the rain for quite a while already.
just feel the sudden urge to. (:

and sometimes i just feel like asking/saying
but yet i'm not sure what's really deep inside of me?
mayb we've been trying so hard to force it out?
but neither of us can do it?

but what if one day i'm running, i just die like that.
will i get to say what i wanna say?
yet if i do it now, will things still be the way it is now?
cuz honestly, i like the way things are now.

so much uncertainites, so much fear ; &only God knows. (:

and still, i'm in search of not only that shoulder,
that pair of hands, that distinct voice,
but also, the legs that will walk in rains with me,
the ears that will hear what i dont say,
the eyes that will always keep me in sight,
and the heart that knows it all,
yet putting my heavenly father first. (: