Friday, October 21, 2005
11:38 PM Y
a good day.. a bad me..
♥ just the girl.
haix.. wat a day it had been for me.. sometimes i really cant stand my feelings. up and down, up and down, until i dun even noe how i'm feeling anymore. haix. feelingless creature.. that was wat i was today at church. hmm.. anyway, started off wif sch dis morning. woke up early and thank God, managed to take the earlier bus and got a seat. heh. hmm.. reach sch quite early so took my own sweet time to walk in, just to find out that the classrooms were not opened yet. so sian.. hadta walk past the staffroom that way. den walked to clar dere and stood wif her until the man come n open the classroom for us. while waiting, shan n piggy came loh.. wif another guy i dunno who. den clar say lived was looking at our direction.. woohoo. who noes? hmm.. deni told clar that today was the sec4s last day. din expect her expression to change so drastically. =X sorry nu-er. shldnt have said it. i noe how she feels loh. den being able to see bugs. haix. after a while, the guy finally opened our classrooms! woot! so as i walked in, saw lived walking at the opposite block, looking into my class. well, dun wanna think so much.. so anyway, went for assembly after that.. den on the way dere, nu-er looked so sad. =X den later she cried! wah. wo bu zhi suo cuo. den she walked super fast den piggy infront so i din wanna walk so fast. caught up wif her in the end den i ask her to dun liddat. muz cheer up cuz will surely get to see bugs again de. x) den i gave her a hug, hoping she'll feel better and i noe she did. *u go girl! x)*
today whole day was quite slack. first period mrs tey came in. den she wrote down the names of those who were absent. den she demanded for an mc or letter for those who did not go sch on thur. *that's me. so she called my name and thank God, i had a letter. hehe. tell u secret. actually hor, dis letter is that time i 1st time pon sch den ask my mum write de. the date is 25th may loh. but then the following day, my cher nvr collect. so hor, i reused! =X hehe. just changed the date nia. woot.. x) save my mum the trouble of writing it again mah. hehe. and save paper also. haha. den rest of the lessons was quite slack. just did very little work. talked to yeok fei and was quite happy. den during amath period hor, lived was up dere, outside the toilet. it seems like lived was looking in at our classroom. either that, is downstairs. so yf went to check out wat was downstairs and found out dere was nth. haha. i was laughing the whole way thru. hehe. so time flies and soon, sch ended le. talked to shan n nik for awhile b4 i saw mr rizal and walked over to ask him bout john cuz heard john is in deep shit. den he ask me, clar and shuyi to tell him incidents where john lied. so we told him quite abit. hmm.. den gerald n ali hadta contribute too. so anyway, later i found out shan they all had a friendly netball match. against netballers i think. oh well, they had enuf players so i din get to play. but nah. it's ok cuz hadta meet up wif twinnie too! hehe. x) so as u can see, the first half of my day was great. happy, cheerful me. later is when my feelings start to play on me again.
i went home, bathed and went to check out my blog and saw wat lao da wrote. was so discouraged and was on the verge on crying when i told myself i cannot cuz dere's ppl at home. *sorry lao da, that i lied bout havent seeing ur tag when u asked me in church. i was so afraid cuz u sounded so angry. i din noe how to reply u if u were to ask me face to face. i was so scared of wat u wud say. u sound so fierce too. =X i lied so that i did not havta give u an explanation dere and then. i'm really very sorry lao da. hope u'll forgive me for lying. i already prayed for forgiveness le. sorry* so anyway, i faster dress up and went out. hmm.. met up wif twinnie soon. she came wif her mum. at first, i was quite shock cuz i tot her mum shopping wif us. hehe. den actually is not. her mum going OG. i think her mum very hip n cool loh. hehe. so me n twinnie walked to heeren to shop for her wallet at the wallet shop. we see see see den cant decide so decided to go see other places first den come back again. we end up going to the neoprint shop and thinking neos. heh.. so fun loh! just the two of us. den the pics super nice! hahax. after that she met up wif her frens cuz they wanna pierce their ears. was quite shocked at first cuz tot they were tagging along wif us shopping. =X but they din. ok mayb just awhile but i'm ok wif it. hahax. den after that, we walked back to the wallet shop, den to 77th street den back to the wallet shop. haha. we walked in THREE times loh. haha. and on the third time, we finally decided on sth for josh and twinnie, a new wallet for herself. haha. after that, we decided to go cine to eat and take neos and shop abit. wah.. cine brings back alot of memories sia. whenever i m reminded of them, i would tell twinnie bout it. we tell each other alot of things loh. that's when my feelings start to mix up and my tots start to go everywhere. sian rite. we ate at pastamania. quite ex but the food was nice. i very long nvr eat ex food le. =X hehe. so once in a while, can ba. dere, twinnie also told me the memories she had loh. dere also. hmm. den finish eating le den we go take neos! woohoo! twice summore. woot. haha. taking neos was the most fun thing we did today. and thank God, all the pics taken were nice! heh. love it. x) den after that, we went to a korean shop and i got sth for my mum! woohoo. hope the colour suits her and hope she likes it. x) hmm.. den we decided to go somewhere to sit and talk. chose BK and hadta order fries in case we kena chased out. heh. dere, we talked bout even more stuff. talked about adidas also. i felt that i owe him an apology. that i shld not treat him that way. was abit too much on my part. just pray that God will change me n him loh. but all i see is just frens. =X piggy, also just frens. and i have dis vision that he'll attend my G12 faithfully one day. so i'm just trying to get dis frenship right again. anybody, or everybody, pls dun misunderstand. i'm surrendering everything to God. mayb sometimes, the things we do, may seem so worldliness in the eyes of the leaders and the pastors but dun forget, u all were once at that stage too. all me n twinnie need is time. time to grow spiritually in the Lord and also to grow mentally thru the experiences we go thru. i really thank God for twinnie cuz we have so many things in common and we understand how each other feel. i can talk to her bout almost anything and everything. *thanks twinnie! i'll b here if u need me! x)* after finishing the fries, we decided to walk to orchard mrt instead, cuz it was still early.
on our way to church, i saw TEN cak bags. twinnie was so 'angry' wif me. haha! cuz she dun understand how my eyes can b so sharp. hehe. God give me sharp eyes mah. haha! x) den we took mrt. so crowded! sian. den reach yishun mrt quite early. hadta wait quite a while for the shuttle bus to come. den on the bus, we talk talk talk again. hehe. we seem to have never ending topics to talk bout. haha. at church, i started not to feel myself le. dunno why but just liddat loh. but praising God was just awesome. love worshipping him. it just feels so good to b able to sings praises to his name. x) den later, pastor quek, samuel, devon and pastor alan gave testimonies bout their trip to korea. *eh how come lao da mei you? heh* franklyy, i wasnt really able to concentrate. but still, i managed to catch the main point of all their testimonies. the most useful one was about prayer. God has once again convicted my heart bout praying. haix. *sorry God. i will draw close to u again.* so anyway, after hof, me n twinnie went to get a drink den we went outside to talk again. but dunno why, soon, alot of people came out also so we din talk much. but i wasnt feeling myself. when ppl ask me why i so sian, i would tell them i dunno. they ask me tired, i say i dunno. cuz i realy dunno. dunno dunno dunno. my feelings and tots were unknown, even to myself. only God noes bah. mayb i just had a confused and conplicated mind which i'm sure, God will reveal to me all my uncertainties soon when i put all my faith n trust in him. x) hmm, the shuttle bus came and i was super quiet during the whole bus ride. twinnie sat wif ws and i saw wif wy but i was quite ok wif it. din feel like talking to anybody anyway. blasted my ears wif christian music too. felt a little better by God's grace. x)
here i m now, at home. talked to nu-er just now cuz din understand wat piggy msn nick means. it just feels so weird. it felt like it was bout me but it felt like it wasnt either. hmm.. weird rite. but i was telling nu-er, if it was me, den why he nvr talk to me first? den just after i said that, he REALLY talked to me, FIRST! i was shocked at wat God did. at the same time, confused. haix. feelingless like i said. he was quite depressed i could tell. but he din wan to tell me wat happened so i din pester him either. just hope he'll cheer up bah. kest better do a gd job. =] hmm drums audition tmr! whee.. hope everything will go well.. *God b wif me and zoe as kirk teaches us! x)* drumming.. HERE I COME!
