HOHOHO.
i got my digital cam lah can! xD

early bday present.
hehe.

dad rocks!
but still abit kiam siap. =X
i'm supposed to pay $100 lah can. =[

nvm. better den nth.

grad nite, here my camera comes! xD

yayness! =]

wow.
it's been 3 days since i last blogged. hmm. been busy wif wat, i also dunno. haha. xP

anyway, life's ok i guess. =]

wed G12 msg was somewat aiming at me. dont know is my sis told yireng sth or it's just *GOD KNOWS. well, i dontknow loh. and i dont wanna know the truth. the truth ALWAYS hurts. some things are better left unknown.

anyway, yea. the msg was sth like, dont put on a front. dont try to act as if u're ok when u're not. humble urself and bring ur probs before God. and yea, i was tocuhed by the msg. it did help. thank God bah.

and btw, did i mentioned that yireng kept staring at me as she talked? hmm. dontknow wat that means.

so ya. and oh yess! i forgot to mention that i also went shopping on wed. yes SHOPPING! heh. xD shopping always make me feel better lah can! but later.. heart pain. haha. cuz pocket empty. boohoo. =[ hahaha.

anyway, the plan was just to follow ppk go parkway and make her ocbc card. weirdly, she has an acc but NO atm card. weird rite? haha. so yea.. and her dad went too. cuz we tot need parents to sign or sth. in the end no need. den i think he got a little pissed? i dontknow. haha.

den, we intended to drink bubble tea and walk walk around in parkway. but well, it turned out to b... a SHOPPING TIME for us! haha. all thanks to samuel and kelvin which was having a sale! it caught our eyes lah. UP TO 70% DISCOUNT. wat the loh! so we went in and SHOPPED! tried on shirts and jeans. heh.

hmm. we ended up spending $36 dere. den we went to ice lemmon tea and bought some stuff too. and we just keep NETSING it lah can. swipe swipe swipe! damn shuang lah can. but after that i was so worried my acc no money. but.. phew.. hai hao lah. cuz my mum just deposited my allowance into my acc. haha. =]

so yea, damn shuang loh. and so happy. felt so good.. but it's all only temporal.... hmm.

yupp yupp yupp. thur, hmm.. nth much ba.. cant remember wat happened also.. STML mah. heh.

den yest.. we went to marina square! got anne's roxy wallet. and we walked ALOT. and i mean ALOT. like siao loh. somemore it was a last min plan. so.. we werent really prepared. and so.. we had SUPER ALOT OF BOOKS. end of the week mah. plus prelims coming. so we had to bring ALL our books home for revision. sickening. my shoulder was like gonna break lah can. haha. but we still had fun. xD

we went to far east after that. had fried mars bars! fattening loh can. =X haha. but well, once in a while mah. hehe.den we SHOPPED again! but dis time not so much loh. and it's for our grad nite things anyway. we're all so excited bout grad nite! woohoo! xD

well, i bought a shirt.. and ya.. that's it i guess. whee... xD

den at nite, went to church for H.O.F. the msg that day, was told thru a story. it was so sad lah can. how someone's life can get so messed up. yet at the same time, it shows us how merciful God is and how much He loves us. =] i was definitely touched by the msg. =]

and as pastor dale continue to speak. somehow, tears began to flow.. just kept falling.. no matter how hard i tried to stop it.. why everything he said is so similar to the situation i am in now.. i dontknow wat's going on but i just started shaking.. but i know He's just next to me.. holding me tight..

and sigh..

pastor dale said sth like.. dont act as if u're fine when u're not.. and some ppl lead a double life.. but we can ask God to change us.. mayb some ppl go SHOPPING just to make themselves feel better.... and other stuff. but i cant really remember.. those mentioned above are the ones that spoke to me..

den it was altar call..

it was...... i dontknow how to say.. but i knelt down before Him and started crying.. crying so badly that no one can imagined.. den pastor mong yee came beside me and started praying for me.. no words came out from her.. she just kept speaking in tongues.. and i know she was crying too.. i think she could hardly say anything due to that fact. so she just spoke in tongues. but it was good enuf.

His presence was just so strong.. and my tears just kept falling.. pastor MY put her hands around my shoulder. and as i cried even harder, she help me close to her. so close and so tight. pastor dale did mentioned that they act as channels. so yea, if u look at it in another way, He was holding me close to Him. and i just couldnt stop crying...

so yea.. wat a night.. but it was great. the msg was really great and it came at the right time. i felt good after everything. and i've decided i will change for the better because He lives and He loves me. =]

no more two face. no more pretence. i will stop trying to be someone else but me.. i'm so happy. i'm beginning to feel His joy.. His peace.. and i feel good. tada tada da.. xD

and so.. good morning. =] it's a sat and i'm feeling great. xD got drumming later and gonna meet up wif ppk after that to go study for our prelims after looking for our prom shoes. xD heh.

talking bout prelims, our first paper iso n this coming WED! can u believe it?! WED! so FAST! and i'm starting to panick lah can. so NOT prepared. boohoo. God help me... but first i must help myself by studying.. sian. *God helps those who help themselves. if i dont do anything, there's nth he can do either. so... must study.. sian..

well, that's all for today.. it's now 11.26AM. and i'm off..

TAKECARE ;

=]

heyhey.
hmm. ok. nth much happened today actually. hmm.

well, we had ss test. and i think i'm so gonna flunk it lah can. =X it's like AHH! i dint finish my second essay. WOW. i'm so dead. mariam and nani coming to find me! boohoo. =[

other than that, i kena suaned cuz of the photos anne took of me yest. haha.

forgot to mention that yest, i realised my camera has this frame thing. u could take pic wif it. like for anne, i used the jail one. and when i took the photo, anne looked like she was in jail. and she gave them really unbearable and sadded face. HAHA.

so yea. den it was her turn. she took picture of me as a neegrow loh! *opps. dont know howta spell. =X haha. and den finally, the ultra funny one. the ultimate one. BATMAN! haha! or rather, batwoman! haha. super lame. but it was fun. =]

anyway, saw our juniors training today. tms peeps came over too. =]

ohhman. just seeing them train makes me miss them and those training those so much. ='[ i really miss them loads and loads. all my sons, daughters, grandsons and granddaughters. they nvr fail to make my day by just being themselves. =] i love them so so so much!

well, they got all hyped up when me and clar walked into the gym. heh. den we saw coach. and he asked how was my foot. i said i could do light running le. yay! will prob go jog on my own one of these days. hehe. xD

ohhwell. guess that's all for today ba. another boring day as usual. bleah.

hmm. shld i go wif ppk to make her posb card wif her dad tmr? but like so extra lah! i dont even know her dad. haha. but ppk say she'll b my slave for tmr.. shld i accept that bribe? wahaha.

ok. mugging time has come! =[ gotta go study le. sian.

and in case u guys dont know, my bday one day before prelims. *hint hint. xD but still. =[ sad lah. mugging on that day. sian. and i've got a perfect plan for anne's bday! yay! xD

that's all folks! *plays the looney toon's music. heh. xD

takecare! =]

hello.
if u noticed, i've deleted every prob that i've typed in my blog le.

i realised that it's been causing alot of misunderstandings and confusions. i'm sick of the condemnation. sigh.

so anyway. yea. my blog's gonna wat's happening everyday frm now on. mayb i'll just talk bout how i'm feeling and stuff. but not more personal than that.

hmm. so ok. i'm really happy today. but i cried this morning. not tears of joy. but yah.. haha. how ironic can i get? hehe. =]

yea. i kinda attitude shengyang. den i kinda shouted at yuquan. den i just read my head on the table and cried. it all came so sudden. haha.

yeokfei first one to rush over. den she provided me wif tissue. she left me to cry for awhile first before asking me if i wanna go toilet. so i nodded my head, stood up and left the classroom. peckpeck and elaine came running behind us cuz they saw my red eyes. haha. that's according to peck lah. hehe. xD

so yea. i went into the cubical and stayed there sobbing for awhile before coming out. my eyes were red and teary and all. and den i started laughing at how red it was. haha LAME sia.

den, elaine, peck and yf all gave me huggs. which made me feel so much better, =] *thanks u guys! den we decided to sit at the bench photocopying shop. dint wan anybody to ask bout why i cried. haha.

after talking and joking awhile, we decided to go back to class. we were shocked to see that mr foo was looking for us. haha. he wanted our contact numbers cuz of the bird flu thingy. in case the sch needa contact us.

hmm, if it really happens, den i was thinking our o levels how sia. haha. cant imagine. =]

so yea. after that, it was math and after that, it was chem. free period! cuz mrs tey nvr come. hehehe. so we decided go back to that bench to SUPPOSEDLY study for our chem test later that afternoon.

well, i guess i was the only one doing work loh. haha. that ppk and bokie keep fighting and quarreling. so childish. grow up lah can. HAHA! xP

and so, they made my day. =] like seriously. they made me laugh again. i mean, one moment i was crying, sad and all, but they changed my emotions just liddat. by just being themselves. =] thanks guys. love u all! =]

hmm. and today, i finally found out who my true frens were. they were always beside me, so close to me. yet i dint even realise.

today's outing to marina square made me realise many things. and i thought alot too. bout everything that happened to me lately.

hmm. was wif anne and ppk btw. and i was feeling very horrible at that time. so they told me i could tell them wat was going on. and so, i told them.

they gave me their opinions and advices and i really appreciate it loh. =] they're really diff frm others whom i've talked to. and anne, she's so sweet lah can. like sometimes even if i dont tell her wat's wrong, she'll know that i'm troubled and den draw me a card or write me a little cheer up note. so sweet. =]

and today, i just realised that ppk can b as nice. =] but somehow, she just gives me the impression that she's not that kinda person they will know howta listen to other ppl's prob. *no offence ah peck! xD

she just got that really innocent look. like as if she dont know anything. she's like so carefree lah can. and she doesnt open up to me or anyone i know of. i mean, she's like problemless. but nevertheless, i believe she still face some probs sometimes.

but her actions are childish lah can. HAHA! that's y i always thought i can nvr talk to her in a personal way. i tot she can only cheer me up and we'll have fun together. but i was wrong. and i'm sure GLAD that i'm wrong. heh. =]

we had a long talk while waiting for 8pm to come. cuz she dint wanna pay for the peak hour charge which is insanely ex. haha. so yea. and our talks is just diff. diff frm others. like the way i talk to her is just so.. i dont know howta say lah! haha. but it's just really nice and all. and somehow, i just know i can trust her. =]

i'm so so so glad i finally found my true frens. somehow i just know they wont let me down. 4G's getting closer and closer in a way. we even had recess together! i really like that closeness among us all now. even yf. =] normally she'll join her H class frens. but she's joining us now too. everything's just so sweet. =]

still left anne loh. she still joining zihui and all. but we dont blame her. we all know we mean sth to her too. =] hehe.

anyway, to yf, ppk, anne, bokie, amelia and elaine, I LOVE YOU GUYS! =]

it's just such a pity that we're leaving the sch soon. ohh well.. there's nth much we can do except to treasure the times we have left. ='[

ohhya. i bought my grad nite bag today! haha. bought the same way as ppk. only diff colour. whee.

den as usual, i was super high today lah can. haha. mixture of emotions again. stupid virnice. HAHA. =]

well, guess that's all for today. sunday wasnt a very good day for me either. so shant talk bout it. wheehee. xD

byebye.

love u guys.

rock on. =]

takecare and God bless!

heya. =]
dint managed to blog yest due to my complaining sis. she grumbled again today. but dont care her liao loh. who ask her put the comp in her room. hmph.

so anyway, i had my eng Olevel yest. was hyper ventilating while waiting for my turn lah can. HAHA. my examiner both guys loh. and my group only got 2 girls. like wat the crap.

but my examiners both very funny. one fat fat de. like a huge teddy bear! so cute. hehe. the other, sad to say, act and talk like sissy. =X but i think they both very nice loh. haha. =]

anyway, i think i kinda flunk it loh. O level leh! AHH! cuz for picture discussion, i mentioned bout sth that the examiner dint even see! it was a unnoticable detail. SHUCKS! =[

and for conversation, it's bout frenship de. and i kept repeating the same points loh. it's like i had alot to say. but my mind just want blank. boohoo.

sigh. wat's over is over loh. guess i better work harder for the written paper. i CANNOT fail compre again man. haha. sian sian.

hmm. we went to visit mel after that. she kena dengue loh. sigh. poor thing. i'll forget bout the past and pray for her ba. =] if i can forgive bokie, i can forgive mel too. =]

her hse is big loh. and like jungle liddat. =X got so many plants and trees and a pond. no wonder breed mosquitoes. =X and i saw the HUGE BEE lah can. was freaked out man. haha.

and den me, elaine and patricia got bitten by a mosquito! den we got all paranoid. haha. super funny leh. den mel's grandma gave us chicken pies and char siew pau to eat. haha. =]

hmm. we left at bout 6.15 den walked to the mee sua stall dere to makan. i introduced them to it de. hehe. =]

den, i somehow got pissed off by the slowness of the guys. they so indecisive lah can. in the end, i went to order for the girls only. the guys also dont wanna eat mah. not my prob. wahaha.

and when the mee sua came, ivan actually ate abit of mine lah. like wat the crap. =X i kinda got pissed off and kept saying how sickening he was. bleah.

ok. GREAT. i was a little late for HOF. =X took cab down loh. cuz they eat so slow. =X wahaha. actually, all of them were asking me not to go just this once. but i know i cant give in. thank God i won S.A tan. hehe. =]

hmm. yest msg was by pastor chui. and it came at the right time loh. FRESH FAITH. i think i do need to refresh my faith in God. and ONLY in God. noone else. Man will fail me, time and time again. no offence. we're all humans. dun have faith in me too. i will fail u as well bcuz i'm IMPERFECT.

so yea. msg was GOOD. went home after that. i was abit high and all due to the oral that day. haha. i'm liddat de loh. =]

hmm used the com when i reached home. dint blog lah. but talked to ivan. cant believe i told him so much. and he gave me feedbacks bout my character too.

he said i've changed. i've become someone who is hot tempered, ah-lianish. my studies are dropping and i'm dozing off in class more.

and actually, i agree wif him. i feel that i've changed too. and he was quite concerned as a fren lah. so he asked me wat's wrong and all. wat caused the change in me. and hmm. guess when i realy go think bout it, i finally came up an answer for myself.

i think it's because i try so hard to keep everything. and pretend everything's going so well, so good. and wat i dunno is, i'm trying TOO hard. and when i do that, i change. i change into a person i dun even know.

and when ivan tell me how bad i've changed, i feel disgusted by my 'new' character. this is definitely not me. i promise ill get the old virnice back. i really promise.* sigh.

actually, i really dunno wat i shld do to find the old me back. i really hate myself lah can. =[ sigh. can old virnice PLEASE come back. tell me wat i shld do. i guess i'll havta control my temper more. and act more decent. and not act cool like ah lian. sigh. =[

ohhman. sad post again. cannot cannot. ppl who reads my blog must finish reading wif a smile ok. =] i assure u i'll b back! and i'll b stronger. i'll read the bible and pray everyday! =]

i'll b a stronger girl. someone who is able to handle her problems well and b optimistic. someone who wont dwell on the past and move on wif life easily. =]

and that's y, i need God and u, my dear frens. =] we'll encourage each other alright. and i just wanna say i'm thankful to all of u who have done sth in my life. even if it's just a THOUGHT to help me, it's good enuf for me. at least i know u care. =]

and to ivan, thanks for trying to help. =] u've helped me gain back a bit of confidence already. remember to keep me awake in class ya. =] and we'll motivate each other to study! haha. A1 for chi yea! and A1 for the rest of the subjects! go ivan! xD

i think i shall go plan out my new resoultion. whee. =]

anyway, today's the usual. except that i went for my hospital appointment dis morning. haha. =]

hmm. i almost cried at CGH today. well, just thinking of all the medical probs i have is killing me lah can. ankle prob, fractured toe, bone growing behind the ear, wat's next? i dun even dare think. i'm so boney loh. =[

good news is my fractured toe has kinda healed. as in a new bone has grown to cover the fracture. but still can see the line. so means still cant jump or do intesive running. cant believe i still played netball yest. hehehe. =X

den my ankle, the doc did a scan on the spot. found out that it was a crack and he said i was born wif it. and when i sprained it, the tendon got stretched or sth liddat. and so, there's NO way to heal it. only can strengthen the tendon.

so, i havta go for physiotheraphy lah can. like wat the?!! AHH crap. damn sian. haha. and after three months, i can train again! and when i do, if the ankle still hurts or sth, i'll havta wear an insole. sigh. so much probs. and money also involved. sian. sian. sian. =[

ohhyes. the doc said it was a stress fracture so HIGH possibility that i can b fractured again. like WOW right. how nice. good job vir. sigh. =[

so yea. i almost cried. cuz my mum was making such a big fuss when i refused to take x ray for my ankle. she doesnt know how i feel. i'm scared. ='[ sports is my passion. if i have to give it up, it'll b a big blow to me. and i dun think i can give it up. it's wat i LOVE. u cant just take that away frm me. =[

yes, i've got drumming now. but sports is still my FIRST love. *we're talking bout NON-living things right now.* sigh. it's impossible for me to give it up. no way. easier for u guys to say. but harder for me to do. sorry. =[

hmm. wat a thing to start my day off. ohh well. hmm. rushed to a math lesson after that. was like 1 and a half hour late. HAHA. =X but mr foo knows lah. it was in the audi and funny thing was, mr foo dint even know when i went in. haha! xD

after that, we went to eat fei fei! HEHE. somemore is yeokfei suggest de loh. i used to alwas suggest to eat that. it's my favourite WANTON MEE! xD whee! haha.

my mum den gave all of them a lift to eunos mrt den i went to church for my drumming lesson. we learnt one way and touching heaven changing earth! challenging song loh. must practise very hard. =]

hmm came home after that den slpt for awhile cuz was super tired. den i went to watch HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL! haha. it was shown on disney channel. woohoo.

i finally managed to watch the whole show loh. i always miss the first part. dunno why also. haha! so i watched the whole thing today! woo! got a sense of achievement. hehe. the movie is so nice lah can! their voices so nice and sweet. haha.

i want my bf to b someone who can sing next time. hehe. so sweet loh. to sing duet. hehehe. xD MY HEAD AHH! right? someone's gonna tell me that. HAHAHA.

yes lah! i think so much loh. HAHA. =]

ohhwell. that's all for today. my sis gonna complain again soon if i dont stop using the comp. wahaha. night den. =]

takecare to all.

hey guys.
i'm here to blog again.
hmm. today's kinda a happy day yet a sad day too. how ironic huh. these two emotions shld nvr b felt at the same time. hmm.

ohh right. today is winston's and yibing's birthday. bought LAYS potato chips last nite. his company mah! winston LAYS. HAHA. xD as for yibing, shujuan had everything planned out for her. =]

so. sch's kinda boring today. well, i mean, can sch ever get interesting? hmm. mayb.

ohh yes. we din have PE today. instead, we helped mr anwari wif the arrangement of grad nite tables. wow. it was messy. no wonder he said he couldnt do it on his own. hmm.

we almost missed recess too. cuz we took so long. haha. but anyway, i tot i would have my first LEGAL pe lesson today since my MC ended on 15 aug. hehe. xD

after recess, we had two free periods cuz yusri dint come. he gave us assignment to do but nobody cares. haha!

so it was fun time for us!

we left the class and went to the toilet. den we went to the bench outside the photocopying room and took pictures! loads of them. man, it was simply FUN.

but somehow, i got a little sad later. just thinking that we're gonna leave tk soon. gonna miss all of them so much. sigh. =[

well anyway, our moods got kinda ruined after that. cuz one of our classmates had probs wif her stead and she went to the toilet, locked herself in the cubical and cried.

and because i was one of the taller and more daring ones, i actually climbed to take a peep. as in i stepped on the toilet bowl seat and cuz i was stil unable to see, i stepped on the glass thingy for the tissure paper de.

gosh. it was scary. i din dare to look over at first but i eventually did. by that time, everyone was asking me to come down le. all worried that i would fall or sth. haha. =X

so yea. i just told them she was facing and leaning on the cubical door and prob crying. and i know she cuts her wrist. so was very worried for her. sigh.

dun understand why she must do sth so foolish. to cut herself. over a GUY? gosh. i dunno wat to say. but she's brave. brave but in a silly way. i mean, i would nvr have the guts to cut myself and i will NEVER EVER do it.

and somehow, it just reminded me of another of my fren. den i got alittle sad too. sigh.

ohh yes. i got back my geog test too. i flunked it lah. i knew i was going to. and the remarks ms yap said were.. demoralising? i dunno. she said i used to b good. but cuz i was too enthu in my CCA den my results start to drop. she even said that she was told by teachers that i was very responsible and hold the whole athletics team up. or sth liddat. i dun think it's true lah.

but, i dun think that's the main reason why my geog resutls are dropping. mayb cuz i din exactly studied for the test. mayb i was busy working. or mayb i was simply lazy. i dunno. but i just hope to get back on track only. sigh. but my other subjects still quite ok loh. hmm.

ms yap also said that at the rate i'm going, i'm prob gonna get only a B4 for my geog. NONO! i dun want that. sigh. someone help me wif geog! argh.. sigh. guess i only have myself to blame. sigh.

i was quite affected by wat she said actually. i had a sad face after that. my frens could tell. and i felt so bad. and den elaine walked up to me and asked, "need a hug?" aww. i just turned and we hugged each other. felt much much much better. well, huggs always help. =]

ohh well. after sch was not so sian le. actually not really lah. we had a math mock test. i almost fell aslp lah can! haha. so tired. slpy. and it was just boring loh. cant rack my brain to think. haha.

after that, i went to suntec as the celebration for yibing was gonna b helded there. i settle the little cards that each of us wrote for yibing. and also asked those who havent write to write. =]

it amount to alot of cards leh! haha. plus shujuan came later and passed me a few more. =]

after a while, ee soon came. was surprised at his early arrival. but all he could say during the whole time was : i'm hungry! HAHA. like wat the right. haha.

everything was going quite well. except for the fact that by 6.30pm, i havent got yibing's present and her cake. =X like wow rite. haha

den weeteng suggested going to nydc to buy the cake. we were agreeable lah. but we decided to meet after i manage to find a gift for yibing. hmm.

got her chocs loh. =X really dunno wat to get her le. but i paid for for 1/6 of the cake. it was ex lah can! dint know weeteng taste so high class. HAHA. gosh. haha. but guess it was worth it lah. nice nice.

BUT. coffee cake. like WOW. howta slp? haha. ohh GREAT. but nvm, i nvr slp early one. haha. xP

ok here's wat happened. we had to delay the time cuz yihuan and eugene were late. yihuan got held back at sch while i think eugene was late cuz of that jerk. will elaborate on that later.

hmm. so yahh. shujuan had to go meet yibing first to stall for time. she brought her to marina square and walk walk while i kinda took care of things back at our workplace.

so when everyone reached, i called shujuan and asked her to bring yibing over.

when she finally sat down at the table, everyone came frm the back door. weeteng was holding the cake and on my count of 3, everyone sang her the birthday song! haha. =]

ohh ohh. before that, norris was irritating lah can. haha. i asked him go go. den he say ok ok. den he continue eating. like wat the crap loh. den eugene only know how to laugh. joker sia they all.

so anyway, yea. yibing was surprised and touched lah. den winnie and weeteng pushed the candle thingy inside the cake and yibing had to take it out using her MOUTH! like WAT THE! haha.

and obviously, they saboed her. while she was trying to do it, they smashed the cake unto her face, making her look like a panda! HAHA! chocolate all over her nose. wahaha. best thing was i was taking video. hehehe. xD

so everything went smoothly and it was GREAT. some ppl was not able to make it tho. but nvm, i hope she still enjoyed herself. =]

credits go to shujuan. =] she thought of everything. really very thoughtful of her. =] yibing must b blessed to have her as her fren. =]

ok. so we just talked while eating the cake. shujuan was being suan non stop loh. poor thing. haha. kena suan by norris and eugene. STANDARD. these two jokers. haha.

and jiaqing also! norris kept disturbing him. poor thing. he's like so innocent lah can. but i doubt he is. wahaha! =X

den norris also got suan me abit. so lame loh he. bhb also. wahaha. i think his main occupation is to disturb and suan ppl. haha. even birthday girl also kena suaned. hahaha.

so overall, it was fun. i guess we all enjoyed ourself. even tho the no. of ppl who went was less than expected. but guess it was successful. =]

ohhyes. now bout eugene. why he was late. i think it's becuz of that same jerk who ruined my sec4 life. they agreed to meet at 6.30 but i think eugene somehow got played out. cuz that jerk dint call him or anything.

so yea. wat a fren rite. not only towards eugene but towards yibing too. i mean ur fren bday, u're free but u cant even b bothered to go celebrate ur fren's bday? and when i reached home, i saw him online somemore. like wat the loh. sigh.

so well well well. thoughts for today. i've decided to just not think bout it. seeing that person so happy, smiling and laughing so hard no matter wat bad things others say, when the other person's around, makes me dun feel like trying anymore. so i guess i'm stepping out. yepp. =]

just hope everything will turn out the way i hope and pray it would. it's just giving and taking. i guess i could do it. =]

and i love surprises! haha. today yibing's bday celebration was great. surprising for her. and exciting for me just to surprise her. hehe. =]

ohhyea. korkor and jiejie was sad today and i dunno why. feel so useless. cant even cheer them up. everytime i try and talk to them, they'll b like go talk to ur frens bah. sigh.

are they angry or sad wif me? =[ i duno but i'm worried for them. and 'mummy' and 'daddy' too. no news frm 'daddy' den korkor was kinda worried? or angry? i dunno. cuz 'daddy' no show. sigh.

i really duno howta help. mayb just once in a while let them know i care? sigh. mayb. and korkor and jiejie not quitting le. i'm happy but at the same time sad. cuz i know they dun like working there. but i think korkor stay for my sake. sigh.

korkor told me he not quiting le and hope i wont too. but.. no guarantee.. i really dunno wat i want now. to quit or not to quit. there's no reason for me to quit but no reason for me to say. sigh.

o levels is not a reason. i mean,i'm allowed to take leave so wat's the prob? sigh. i dunno. mayb cuz alot of ppl quitting liao bah. but i know yihuan's not. mayb we pei each other loh. =]

well, i just hope i dun havta keep thinking bout this useless stuff. i need to focus man! haha. prelims coming. scared sia me. =[

alright. it's late and i'm gonna slp soon. or mayb i'll study alittle first. hmm. see how long more the cappucino can keep me awake ba. haha. =]

ok. that's it for today. bye guys.

takecare. =]

hello again.
ok. i'm feeling fine today. except for watever happened in the night.

hmm. was crazy at sch. AS USUAL. haha. u know, ppk's innocence sometimes can drive u crazy. but it can make u laugh too. for no particular reason. haha. dunno why i'm saying this but thanks ppk! =]

and bokie! she's nice. always act cute and stuff. but yea. she makes me laugh and brightens my day too. HAHAHA. no offence girl. i'm virvir remember? hehe. =]

ohhya. bokie got pissed today due to some ppl. made some comments that they shldnt. hmm. but bokie! dun worry! we're here! haha. =]

so sch's fine wif me. i guess it's just stressful for everybody too. cuz prelims is near! all the teachers also panicking. wanna book us. AHH. stress man! boo.

and i got back my SS essay today! kinda flunk it loh.12/25. like wat the crap? haha. HALF MARK! crap. but overall, plus source based, i passed lah. thank God. hehe. it's just a test anyway. whee.

and after sch we had eng compre test. so irritating. hate staying back for tests. bleah.

after that, i went to esplanade to find yibing. =] help her in amath. i taught her e math last sunday and she got 28/40! A2! woohoo! haha.i'm so proud of myself. HAHA. kidding lah! it's really by God's grace. thank God. =]

haha. it's really funny seeing her do math sums. she'll just do until so pek chek den go crazy. HAHA! come on! u can do it girl! hehe.

after i was done wif my hw, we left. walked to city hall mrt. LONG walk man. plus my bag so heavy. so tired. boohoo.

well, we had small talks too. where she told me sth. was quite shocked. but nevertheless, happy for her. =]

it's her bday tmr btw! so ppl, do remember to wish her happy bday! shujuan came up wif a superb plan! yibing's gonna b surprised and den touched tmr. =] hope everything goes well.

hmm. sadly, i have a math mock paper TWO tmr. which last for 2 AND A HALF HOUR. can u believe how boring that is gonna b? AHH! HELP!

okay. even tho i LOVE doing math, but too much is a NO NO! boohoo. and bcuz of that, i'll havta meet shujuan later. sadded.

ohhwell. at least i'll still get to go to the celebration. haha. =]

ok. sth happened just now. and it's totally freaky.

someone saw ber at northpoint the other day. wif me and yibing as well. and den.. i shant not elaborate on the actual happenings. but yea.. she got into deep trouble after sunday.

her parents were so 'worried' for that that FOUR adults prayed for her during cell, according to my mum.

wat's worst is, i heard they're not gonna let her go h.o.f. anymore! wat crap! she's probably crying right now. so i'm just gonna leave her alone for now. sigh.

not only that. her parents questioned my mum too. asked her things like. do u know vir was wif her on sunday. and other stuff like. do u know where ur kids go. who they hang out wif and stuff.

and so, my mum got kinda naggy just now. and den kept saying how much freedom she gave us. at first, i tot she was gonna take take priviledge away!

but guess wat. we kinda got closer. as in a mother-daughter thing. u know. phew. i tot i was gonna hate ber's parents for that. but nope. hmm.

we got closer in the sense that we're able to talk. actually, i find that she understands me quite well. last time, she kept asking me to talk to her more, confide in her. but i just refuse too. not that i dun want but i just dunno howta tell her stuff. dont u guys find it hard too?

hmm. well. i found out today that it isnt. i think i can tell her stuff next time. i reallly thank God for a mum like her. =]

i LOVE her LOADS. =]

ohhya.prelims! the last day of prelims is our grad nite! woohoo! we planned bout wat we gonna do already! so excited just the mention of it. hehe. =]

and i'm wearing my mum's dress. which my sis also wore to her prom nite. wat to do. budget mah.. haha! kidding lah! just dun wanna waste money. i'm just gonna need it ONCE only loh. it'll b such a waste to buy.

so anyway, my sis kinda got angry..? she was abit sarcastic also. saying things like. nvm, u'll get laughed at, not me. so iasked her why. and she said later ppl recognise the dress cuz i wore it b4.

so i was like. where got such thing. how can a sec4 broadrick person attend his or her grad nite last year den come to tk this yr to attend grad nite again. where got such thing. HAHA.

she's just jealous lah. HAHAHA. kidding. hmm. but she'll just come up wif mean stuff to say bout me and the dress. sigh. i nvr get her support in anything i do. boohoo.

nvm. dun talk bout it le. so i guess that's all for today. another long post. i think i talk alot. YES I DO! cuz verbally i already do. plus typing is easier den writing. so yea, i write alot too. hehe. =]

thanks for reading faithful readers of mine. =]

takecare alright! and may ur day b filled wif lots of joy and laughter.

God bless. =]

heyhey.
i changed my blogskin. all by myself! cant believe it. even tho i got some tips from bokie and ivan. *thanks guys. =]

ohhyes. i changed my URL too. just wanted sth simple. so tot my name would b good. it's unique. hehe. so nobody has that URL. cool yea. greatest thanks to my mum for giving me such a name. =]

anyway, i'm so naive. so gullible. who knows the real me?

my life's in a mess. like seriously. wat a mess i've made of my existence. i really wish i could turn back time. but it's obviously impossible. and it's just so hard to move on wif those wounds and scars.

i hate myself for pretending. pretending i'm happy when i'm not. and still try so hard to bring joy to ppl's life. i'm really tired. but i want the ppl around me to b happy. i want to bring joy and laughter to their lives. i know my mood affects the ppl around me. and i dun wanna bring unhappiness, sadness or even moodiness into their lives. i want them to enjoy their everyday and b happy. is that so hard to achieve?

mayb i can continue this pretence. i'll just havta cry everything out at nite. and den go to sch feeling all happy and fine. i guess i could do that. i hope so.

another reason why i keep things to myself is bcuz i cant trust anymore. been hurt by my closed ones. they made use of my trust. i'm hurt, really hurt. and it came frm those unexpected ones.

how true that it takes year to gain someone's trust and seconds to lose that. how true how true. sigh.

just because i trust u, doesnt give u the right to make use of my trust.

and just because i'm nice to u, doesnt mean u can take me for granted.

sigh. i sound so mean. mayb the real me is mean. mayb i'm just too nice? sigh. dun think so. just dunno wat i shld do now.

bcuz of everything that happened, i'm so afraid to trust again. and dunno who i can trust again.

sigh. i'm really really getting so sick of this fake life i'm living. just trying to get thru everyday tires me alot. i'm exhausted. i need strength frm God.

and my prelims is coming in bout 3 weeks time. i'm so not prepared. and i'm scared. i just cant seem to focus and i'm really worried. i dun wanna disappoint my parents. see how much stress i'm under. sigh.

my dear frens, just let me know u care k.. just let me know i'm being loved and appreciated. just let me know u're there to lend me a shoulder to cry on. just let me know i can do this. just tell me to not give up. that's wat frens do right? =]

and most imptly, i need God right now. i know He's near but i cant exactly seem to feel Him. *hold my hand God. and let me know u're here wif me. sigh.

anyway i wanna thank God for my chi O level results. i got an A2! even tho i felt i could have done better, i still wanna thank God. cuz i tot i did worst than that.

i remember i was crying on the day of my chi paper. just before paper1. and i think i was crying when doing the paper itself...? hmm. yea.

so, i was so scared on the day of the results. to the extent that i cried even before i know my results! HAHA. stupid huh. but yea. guess it's cuz i couldnt stand the pressure building up. cant imagine wat wil happen when i get back my O level results next yr. hmm..

ohh ya. my chi oral get distinction leh! dun play play! must pray pray! hehe! cant believe it loh. cuz alot of ppl laughed when i spoke in chi. yea, it's THAT bad. so the results were totally unexpected. haha.

all in all, i just wanna thank God for everything. and pray that He'll get me thru this difficult time. =]

well, that's all for today. blogging is fun i guess. mayb cuz i havent been blogging for quite awhile. haha.

ok that's all folks! takecare alright. will update again. =]

God bless.

LIFE.
i've been busy lately. and guess when i sit down and think, tots usually come into my mind. the reality of life scares me alot actually. in that environment, it's really hard not to change but i'll try.

well, been a fool lately. made a wrong decision. one that i will regret my entire life. but wat's done is done and there's nth i can do bout it. i have to get over it.
and i know it's there. it was always there. but somebody came into the picture and ruined everything.

i wonder how's things now. but i'm not gonna interfere. leave it to them to fight it out. i willingly step out. because i know i shldnt b there in the first place. i lost my chance already. it's too late now.

i'm trying hard to keep up the pretence. is that a sin? wat pretence, nobody knows and nobody SHLD know.

my life's in a mess. i'm not getting my priorities right. studies and everything else aside. and i hope i'm not drafting away frm my creator. i still love to worship Him wif all of my heart.

temptations. problems. distractions. hurts. difficulties.
those are wat's making me go weaker and weaker each day.

tired of those tears. tired of those slpless nites. tired of those stupid eyebags. tired of trying to find excuses. tired of escaping frm reality. tried of living. want to b wif God soon. when will he take me up to a better and more beautiful place.

i'm exhausted. need strength frm God to carry on.

at the end of the day, i'm fine. =] happy. moving on. =]

*zhi ke yi zai pang bian jing jing de kan zhe ni. yin wei ni bu shu yu wo de er qie yong yuan tou bu hui. zhe me hui xi huan shang ni ne. dui ni ta gan jue shi cong yi qian jiu you le. ke shi wo xian zai cai fa xian, yi jing tai chi le. ru guo neng hui dao guo qu jiu hao le. dan quan dou mei you le. ni shi shu yu ta men de le. zhu ni yong yuan xing fu kuai le.

this isnt the ending i prayed for.
but nevertheless, it should b good. =]

always look on the bright side of LIFE.
He's always there, He promise. =]

V I R N I C E
there's no one else like me cause' God made me special. (:
virnice
eighteen
10.09.90
andersonjc
childofGOD
evangelite
dolphins
drummer
RUNNER
HURDLER.

LOVES God; chocoates&icecream; sports; family&frens; sleeping.
DISLIKES smokers; exams; vegetables; cockroaches&lizards!


visitors
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go around the world.
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ipod.
grow taller.
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PROMOTE
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improve drumming
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