haix. feeling very crap right now. cuz of sth that just happened. haix. tell more bout it later. let's just start wif yest.

woo.. so i finally got to train yesterday!! hehe. it was really fun!! the feeling was really nice. to b able to run again. x) did hill runs yest. at temasek sec the hill dere. wah.. it was really tiring for me. but wat can i expect? i havent been training for 3 weeks! haix. i think coach also noe so he asked me to do 2 times only while the rest did 3 or 4 times. sian man. i guess he din wan me to over train myself since it's kinda like the 'first' training for me. so it was quite slack for me. but i guess coach's right. if i did anymore, i would have done. =X but still, i'm the kind of person who will perserve de. hehe. i will push very hard even tho i'm dying. i have alot of determination but it's just my ability problem. but that's not gonna stop me. i just havta train harder and more frequent. i guess coach also noe that's my personality so he din want me to do more den 2 times, afraid i might push too hard and cause injuries. haha. so for now, i'm quite slacky during trainings. but will slowly built up. one thing i'm quite disappointed is that i'm lagging behind my nu-er by so much loh! last time by abit nia. sometimes can run same time as her. but now, everything's back to square one. haix. gotta train step by step again. but i'm not gonna give up! instead i'm gonna train even harder! and train on my own too! jiayou jiayou! xD hehehe. and oh yah. i forgot to mention that i was just as crappy during training! haha. i'm also quite comforted to noe that my peers and juniors were very happy to have me back. x) thanks u all! xD

after training, we had some drinks and talked alittle before me, sy and clar rushed home to bathe. cuz we hadta go to ashley's bbq. it was her bday yest so she din go for training. it was quite sad loh. she got play out by so many ppl. in the end, only 4 ppl turned up. the rest were all her relatives and neighbours. poor thing loh. and many ppl din wanna go cuz they tot justyn going. =X end up, justyn couldnt go cuz he had tuition. den ash was like, 'he shld have told me earlier! den they would have come le. haiya!' =X it was kinda boring also. =X we just ate and ate. it was quite funny lah. the eating part. cuz we were like serving each other like maids liddat. hahaha. after eating den we go watch tv all the way until 10pm den we go home le. =X sad to say, it din seem like it was any party or watsoever. haix. nvm bah. at least she noes she has the trackers behind her! hehe. x)

reach home den i shower again and use the com le loh. it was quite late le lah. 11 plus. den unexpectedly, the vb player came online. haha. havent got him a nick name yet. muz think first. wahaha. den we talk talk talk. all the crappiness and lameness all come up le loh. haha. and if u noe me well, i get very high as it gets later. hahaha. =X wahaha. den he was very sian but dun wan slp yet so ask me play game loh. on msn. everything also thrash me lah. nvr give chance de loh. bully. wahaha. den later he say want play yahoo pool but i no acc mah. so he go play loh. and ask me write testi for him. smart lah he. haha. den i decided to go make a yahoo acc cuz friendster was super lag! sian loh. i wait until sian. surprisingly and thankfully, yahoo not lag den i very fast make acc le. but he insisted i write for him testi first b4 he play wif me. haha. after that, we play le loh. den he thrash me 6-1 ah! sian man. den beofre that we already say loser muz do sth. at least he say loser cannot slp leh! siao one man. hahaha. xP end up, he say i owe him one. so we talk and play, talk and play, den bu zhi bu jie until 3 plus le loh! =X haha. den i gotta go slp le cuz tmr going sentosa den waking up at 8am leh! ohno. haha. oh yah, i forgot to mention that i was talking to adidas online too. he came online quite late. bout 1plus? ard dere i think. he left for bed earlier den me and den ask me give him wake up call cuz he scared he cannot wake up. haha. lame loh. but as u noe, me being nice, i agreed. haha.

so anyway i bid the bully gdnite den went off to slp le. but guess wat? i couldnt slp loh! sian man. just keep tossing and turning on the bed. dunno wat time i fell aslp man. but thank God, dis morning i could wake up! and remembered to give adidas his wake up call. wahaha. had fun at sentosa today! hehe. the fun part was the tanning part bah. cuz i wanted to tan mah! alot of you muz b thinking i siao one rite. so dark le still wan go tan. wahaha. dun care. cuz i 3 weeks nvr go under sun loh! den my tan no more le. so muz go tan back. hehehe. we also got play beach volleyball. wahaha. i'm the one wif the unique serving. hahaha! xP only i serve the ball that way. nobody else does. haha. dun even noe if it's correct tho. haha. muz ask that bully next time. haha. den we cross the bridge to the other side to tan cuz the sun was better dere. hahax. shuang man. but so hot lah! sweating like crazy. haha. den me and twin swim across. wah! i regret ah!! so scary loh! it freaks me out to not noe wat is underneath me. eeeeeww!! yikes!! haha. i was like shouting and whining on my swim dere loh. and keep telling twin to faster faster. buai tahan ah. next time i'm never gonna swim across le loh. ahha. after that, we also went to kayak. but i couldnt tahan also ah! sea sick loh. plus that time OBS i kayak whole island of pulau ubin loh! scared of it liaox. sian. haha. so i was the first one to stop kayaking. den one by one stop. hahaha. after that we went to tan again. wahaha. nice man. hehe.

den later dark clouds started to appear den we faster went to bathe le. it was still quite early loh. when we all finish bathing, only 3 plus nia. so we took bus back to harbour front mrt and waited for 4pm before we ate. all of us were fasting for konquerors. we want it to b a successful one. hehe. xD muz pray for God's wonders. x) so anyway, after eating, me mid and ber went to town cuz mid wanna make an appointment to style her hair before prom nite. we also went to eat abit more dere. ate aunt anne. den took neoprints. shopped alittle. and i bought my monkey pencil box!! hehehe. xD so happy man. have been eyeing on it since dunno when. wahha. monkies madness! wahaha. is the speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil one loh. the monkies so cute! haha. after taking a long time, i decided on the purple instead of the blac. 2 against one mah. haha. i wanted the black cuz was afraid the purple one would get dirty easily. but the purple one was nicer loh. yupx. haha. so anyway, after that we went for prayer meeting le loh. den went home.

on the way home.. that's were everything started.. i was actually feeling quite ok until my sis talked bout the retro christmas mtv thing. i was so pissed man. she dun understand how i feel loh. den just anyhow say me liddat. cuz i told her if can, i dun wanna b in the mtv. den she was quite angry also lah. she say wat we already short of ppl. esp the girls. den if they all also like u den nobody act ah. sth liddat lah. den i was like.... AH!!! inside me already lah. i mean, get those we can dance and LOOK nice on the mtv mah. me??!! u muz b joking lah. the 1800-HEAVEN was a TOTAL DISASTER. it's stuck in everyone's head lah. i suc on video loh. HATE it! and she just dun understand how i feel den liddat say. haix. den on the mrt even worst. we actually sat together one. den later she hadta make some watever phone call, she went to a corner instead. like wat the crap lah. i'm your sister!! haix. ok lah. mayb sometimes i also want my privacy, but dis is abit wat le loh. at least tell me nicely wat. just say i going one side make phone call liddat can le meh? she nvr tot it would hurt my feelings. and i tot our relationship was getting better. my wishful thinking. it's not as if i nvr told her anything. dere's nth to say bout me! at least not now. no more guys in my life! den she? i noe lah. is munky.. that's his nick. cant remember his full name. i really havta say dis. u noe the way she talks to munky is like so so so sweet. on the phone. den i think halfway josh or whoever called den she talk like very rough liddat. like ah lian. i was like, wat the??!! haix. den cuz munky is a korean but born in belgium so he has the slang. and she tries to follow it! like YIKES!!! cant she just be herself? if that munky guy likes her cuz she slangs den like, wat's the point? haix.

den she and bernice everytime leave me out in their little conversation. even on the mrt, on the way to sentosa. i forget to mention that. they two were talking bout munky lah. but made it sound confusing as ever. like wat the crap loh. den i really felt very left out lah. cuz later they both had phone calls. both talking on the phone. den i was like dere alone, like an idiot liddat. haix. i nvr wanna go out wif them anymore. haix. since my presence is hated so much. mayb cuz i dun look as good as them, they tend to leave me out. ok mayb tat's rubbish but watever loh. =X haix.

so back at the mrt, on the way home. when we alighted, i showed her black face all the way loh. couldnt help it lah. =X i already asked God to help me control my anger. haix. den abit better le loh. thank God.

haix. i really dun understand wat she is thinking lah. mayb our sister relationship is meant to stop here. no further. i really dunno howta make dis work lah. we just cant communicate. mayb cuz of our differences bah. haix. i always wanted a older bro who can b my special someone since my sis and i are like so distant. and that someone is the one whom i mentioned in my previous post. that's y i used to have kors last time. we can talk alot one. den if for awhile nvr talk, den we lose contact already. all same. i still remember ho ming kor. it was my best kor ever loh. i still rememeber once when he said he cant b my kor cuz of some reasons i cried loh. tot he wana disown me. haix. but he was pig's gd fren lah. always help us solve prob when we were together. he was one of the few whom i can really talk to and pour my troubles on. but ever since me n pig broke up, we nvr talk le. haix. cuz pig was our connection liddat bah. so anyway, yea, havent found my special someone yet.. x(

and den, more troubles start coming on when i reach home. it's bout the athletics chalet. the commitee has planned dis cuz it was the last yr for our sec4s seniors and we wanted to have a farewell kinda party for them. i was really looking forward to it cuz we also can get to noe each other better, bond together, have fun. but everything turned out so wrong! haix. so many ppl played out on us! and some were sec4s! argh.. everything was actually settled loh. bbq pit was booked, programme was planned adn everything den two sec4s say they cant make it! den another sec1 say cant come. den some last min say cant stay. crap lah. one of the sec4s was my 'mummy' loh. so disappointed in her. somemore we planned dis for them! argh.. crap lah!! i was super angry lah! den sy blamedit on me summore. say i go hange the amt and blah all those crap. den i say her back. =X *sorry sy but i wasnt feeling very gd le loh. haix.* the feeling just sux loh. it's like everything fall back to zero again. all was happy happy den now liddat. wat the crap lah.. my athletics team sux man! all they think is money. too ex den dun wan come. yes, money is impt but cant ur sacrifice but once a year the chalet? it's the only time where we can have fun together as a team and do the crappy things u can imagine! haix. i'm so so disappointed. i'm a lousy captain. cant even manage my team well. wat a crap captain!! ahhhhh!!! haix.

going crazy. the feeling sux. i dun feel like going to the chalet anymore. i just wanna slp and slp and slp and not think bout anything else! haix. *God forgive me. haix* so many things hapened lately. it all comes so fast till i'm at a loss. dun need anybody to rub it in anymore. just wan my special someone to appear now....

wooo!! nvr felt as happy before!! hehehe. on friday, the doc said i could run already!! woohoo!! xD no words can express my happiness man.. PRAISE THE LORD!! xD hehe. training, HERE I COME!! WAIT FOR MEE!!! XD wahahahahahahaha!

whee.. anyway, it's been 2 days since i blogged. haha. havent been blogging regularly lately. laziness? probably. haha. actually mostly bcuz four ppl are fighting over one com. so aiya nvm.. i nice so i give way. wahaha. =X so anyway, friday i removed all the stitches le!! wheehee! thank God! xD wahaha. after that went to see my juniors and peer train. wah had the temptation to run wif them but cant. =X dun wanna let my wound touch water TOO soon. x( felt abit left out. but den had fun talking to them too! x) went to LJS after that but i couldnt stay long cuz hadta rush home to change and get ready for HOF. whee.. den went to yireng's hse for movie marathon!! wahaha.. we shi bai again lah.. the other time we watched star wars den watch one or two den we peng sang liao. i was the first loh cuz just came back frm camp the other time. haha. dis time we watch TWO movies nia den all peng sang liaox. haha. watched the pacifier and some stupid chinese comedy. damn lame de loh. cant remember the title. it's super funny correct liaox. alvin laughed super loud loh!! hahaha. so funny lah.. jia min peng sang first cuz she first day at work den super tired ah.. watched pacifier halfway den fall aslp liaox. hahahax. poor thing. woot.. next morning she late for work loh! felt so bad. den in the end she nvr go. haiyo..

went for outreach in the afternoon on saturday. haha. was quite successfuly ba. we had three contacts and met up wif some of our old contacts. hmm.. they were quite nice loh. din like totally ignore us or wat. there was a pair of siblings tho. who TOTALLY ignore us as tho we werent dere. but yireng just said thanks. they were quite rude ah.. dun want shld at least politely say mah. nvm ba. God forgives. hehe. hmm.. after that go play pool.. wahahaha.. actually, to b more specific is to WATCH ppl play pool. haha. pei ping pong loh. hehe. went home bout 9 plus close to 10. woo.. den watch meteor garden II. hehe. xD

today, was project sunday so no band so no need go early to practise. haha. so went for main service. hmm after service, went to eat lunch at the coffeeshop nearby while waiting for my sis to finish her lesson. we had a meeting for retro christmas. discuss wat song to use and the other details. haha. after that went to far east to look around for suitable costumes. in the end, after looking for awhile, all want go drink coffee liao. sian. haha. go TCC summore. ex leh! hahax. me n my sis just share an oreo milkshake. wahaha. $6.90 loh.. haha. sian man. hmm after that, me, midori, bernice, eelen and kenneth went to LJS to eat cuz the food dere was far too EX.. cant afford. hahaha. today is also the day i got to noe kenneth better loh. found out that he's a very crappy guy loh. always bully. wahaha.

den bout 7 plus, me, bernice and midori needed to go home first so we left. as we were walking to the mrt, kenneth suddenly come frm behind loh. den cuz ber and mid like got alot to talk so i kena left out. walk myself behiind them. den he suddenly appear frm nowhere and clap his hand right at my face! crap loh. i kena shock lah. haha. mid and ber were just like "ehh?ehh?" liddat loh. den we four continue walking towards the mrt. den guess wat? mokkie, josh and daniel came frm behind also loh. mokkie also tried to scare me. wah! sian loh. TWICE in a row. den kenneth was dere laughing. lame lah. all of them so evil. haha. so anyway, all SIX of us talked quite alot on the mrt. u muz b wondering why six and not seven rite? that's cuz daniel was like so left out! not like we did it on purpose but he was so quiet! poor thing loh he. den they supposed to drop at dhoby ghaut but end up all of them sent ber, me and my sis home. all except for daniel again! he really very isolated leh. =X reminds me of me. haix. will talk more about that later. so anyway, mokkie and josh sent me n my sis home while kenneth sent bernice hom. mokkie was so funny lah! acting like a monkey at our hse void deck. haha. dunno monkey or dog lah. joker lah he. he acted as if he was frm the mental hospital!! haha. crazy one loh. making funny noises and all. hahaha. so funny. so anyway, we thanked them and they made their way home. woo.. wat a day.. x)

hmm ok.. so about that isolation thing.. well, lately i've been thinking. is it just me or wat? i dunno lah. on friday, i tried to talk more u noe. like initiate conversations and stuff. but i just seemed to b IGNORED. yes. that's the way i feel. haix. like watever i say, nobody cares. haix. felt so hurt. so in the end, i just sat at one side and din talk. and when i dun, they start asking if i'm ok. why so isolated and stuff liddat. i mean, i've TRIED! haix. nobody seems to care except for God. it's best to talk to him. cuz i noe he's always dere, listening to you. haix. i really dunno wat i shld do. i know i cant keep isolating myself. i tried my best to fit in but i just cant! den it isn't me anymore! haix. i feel as tho i have changed, but it isn't right. i want the old me back. i NEED the old me back. i dun wanna change just to go wif the crowd. haix. i just wanna b the simple girl i used to b. i wanna b simple. simple me. i dun want and dun need the attention. i just wanna b simple. God, sports and studies are all that matters to me now. i needa concentrate and b more focus. need God's help. hmm.. no more trying to b someone else already.. sick of putting on a smile that is so fake.. haix..

and recently, i'm also very troubled. over pp and the guy involved. and also troubled over my own things. the isolation thingy. so many things have happened loh. and i really dunno who to turn to except God loh. i mean, it's good that i talk to God. but i also need someone. someone whom i can talk to. someone who knows me inside out. someone to lend me a listening ear when i need it. someone to lend me a shoulder to cry on when i need it. haix. i havent found that special someone yet. dun get it wrong. i'm not talking bout a boyfriend. but just a friend whom i can turn to. it's like, if i turn to my friends at sch or in track, they'll give me wordly advice which is not so gd. and if i turn to my church frens, they'll just put me down wif all the godly advice. as in, they'll just tell me wat i've been doing is wrong wrong wrong. means not pleasing to God and stuff liddat. haix. i really dunno wat to do loh. i need someone who understands me. and will always b dere. even if that someone dun give me advice, at least just hear me out. be there for me. hear wat i havta say. dun just deem me wrong or wat. haix. waiting for that someone. hmm.. dun get it wrong. no offence to all my friends out dere. all of you have done a great job! x) to those who had been dere for me and giving me advices, thanks loads! i really appreciate it. it's just that, u dunno but i keep some things within me. i dun feel comfortable telling it to ur. =X

actually i have found my special someone. i have told her my darkest secrets. but somehow, we kinda distant le. to me, i think she has changed. but i noe, she will nvr go around telling ppl things bout me. I TRUST HER. x) she's kinda busy wif her life now and we hardly talk. we can hadly even go out together cuz she's not free. so.. dere goes my special someone. waiting for another to come by soon.. if you are, pls tell me.. x)

so well, that's all i havta say. looking forward to training tmr!! woohoo!! xD cant wait to see the trackers!! hehehe. training at temasek tho. hill runs! woo! so long nvr run that liao. haha. hopefully i dun lag behind by so much.. God help me.. x)

hmm.. havent blogged for FOUR days already. was watching meteor garden I and II these few days. heh. weird huh.. din blogged for so many days yet now i dun even noe wat to blog about. oh well, it's really sian at home loh. cant train. so watch tv. now all i wan is for my wound to heal, the swell to go down den on friday when i go back for follow-up, i can train le! by God's grace and mercy.. hmm.. i really miss training and the trackers!! miss all the crapping loh. yest my two nu-ers frm track so sweet, came over to my hse after training just to give me essence of fish. it was so thoughtful of them to get that for me even tho it tastes disgusting. =X really lah. almost puke. heh. they wanted me to drink before they left my hse. boohoo. den they even wrote me a card. a get-well-soon card. so sweet man. cant wait to get back to training! hehe. xD

so anyway, dese few days i have been staying at home. only on tuesday, i went out wif clar and sy to get ash present. went to bugis and got her a sling bag at zinc. woot. haha. after that, we just walk walk in bugis.

den yest also nvr go out. just watched meteor garden thru-out. was supposed to go see them training. but dun seem so gd and plus, it looked like it was gonna rain. i was afraid i go dere den halfway rain den water get inside my wound and the complications. so i din go. so they came over instead. felt bad tho. =X oh well, den went for g12 le loh.

today, was supposed to go sentosa. twinnie, ws they all asked me to go. den hor, coincidentally, felix, my OBS fren, also said they going today and asked me to go for a OBS gathering. to avoid any complications or anything, i din go to both. besides, i din intend to anyway. =X cuz of my wound. i mean, senotsa, wat can u do? sun-tan, swim. all involves water! wat can I do? =X i cant SWEAT. it's so stupid, but yep, that's the truth. it's water still, and water cant get into my wound. oh man. nvm, lao da say next time go again. hehe. xD so yep. later going for dinner at spag at tanglin mall. u see, we won a voucher for winning the capt ball game, organised by my church. hehe. thank God. and now we get to eat pasta! haha. actually i ate before. cuz that time win rounders. now capt ball. woohoo. hehe. but den hor, one serving very big de loh! cant finish. heh.. oh well, will enjoy myself later! i hope. haha

blog again then.. hope my life gets more interesting.. HA-HA-HA..

hmm.. yes, that's wat i had.. a SPORT-less day at heart.sports. sian.. so anyway.. my day was quite ok all in all.. supposed to wake up early so can go shop wif my sis before heart.sports but both of us overslept. hahax. so end up we left the hse at 12 plus. we intended to go bugis one. cuz my sis wanted to get some jeans den go orchard. but end up no time so we went to orchard first cuz hadta go heart.sports at 3pm.

at kembangan mrt horx, saw four people. hahax. very unexpected lah. i was just walking, following my sis along the platform, waiting for the mrt. dunno wat i was doing also. den when i lift up my head, WHOA. saw kester, pig, jiaheng and zhang. was so shocked loh. actually saw jiaheng and kester first. found their backs so familiar and when i finally realised, i was like 'jie! jie!" den i faster pull her away and siam to the other side. wahaha. den saw pig and zhang frm where i stood. all of them were just talking. they din seem to see me. thank God. wahahax. felt abit of cheng jiu gan that they din saw me. but at the same time, i felt like i shld just stand at where i was and not siam. cuz why siam? dunno also lah. but that was my first reaction loh. so anyway, we took the mrt to somerset and went to cine to eat our lunch. went to LJS even tho i kept saying the food is oily. wahaha. i stop fasting frm oily and heaty food le. just reduced my intake of them. hahax. was shocked to see my didi dere. wif 3 sec2s whose name i shant say. wah.. dunno wat's going on but i sure hope he knows wat he's doing. in any case, wo hui yong yuan zhi chi ta de! hahax. xD they left soon after i settled down. he did come over and talk to me tho. ask me how's my wound and everything. good bro. hahax. after eating, we walked abit in cine b4 going to hereen.

we went to the wallet shop first cuz my sis wanted to get a wallet for her fren as bday gift. and btw, it's been a LONG LONG LONG time since my sis and me went shopping TOGETHER. i cant remember when was the last time. wahaha. but thank God that the relationship between us is getting better. xD hmmm so after that, we went to shop for our own stuff. went to thirty seven degrees first cuz got sale. hehe. both of us got a shirt frm dere. i got a black one wif a monkey while my sis got a white one wif the words 'sweet' on it. wahaha. monkey madness!! hehe. saw dis monkey pencil. is the see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil one. three monkeys doing three different actions. so cute loh! but so ex. so nvr get loh. x( boo.. after that, we went up to the neoprint shop dere. DIN take neos. cant believe it horx. first time i go out nvr take neos. ok mayb i exaggerate alittle. not FIRST time but RARELY. hahax. save money loh. instead, i went to mini mix and bout sweets! wahaha. yumyum. while my sis went to some jap shop, as usual, before meeting me at mini mix. hahax. after that, we left hereen for heart.sports liaox.

today was abit unusual cuz both the mrt and bus came so fast! really thank God loh. i mean, normally i got for heart.sports, when change train at city hall, very long one loh. den the trans island buses all take super long to come one, when i'm at newton mrt de bus stop. but today very fast loh. the mrt came just one or two minutes after we tap at the control station and the bus just came when we came out of the mrt station. woo.. thank God. so reached scgs at bout 2.45pm. kinda on time i guess. hahax. den they all went to play basketball before the game starts. it's so sad loh. i kena banned. haix. sit at one side. deprived of the fun of playing! haix. i love sports loh. den now cuz cant sweat cuz cant wet the wound so cant do any sports. haix. so sad loh. hurts to see that everyone is having so much fun while i cant. haix really cant wait to b able to do sports again. i will truly rejoice loh! and praise and thank God. woo.. den super poison ball started not long after. i had fun cheering tho. but deep down in my heart i know that i would b happier and having more fun if i was playing. hmm me n twinnie was shouting and shouting non-stop loh! hahax. esp when EAST is the team inside the bball court. we will shout and warn ppl where the balls are. wahaha. praise God we won! hehex.. very fun. but too bad i din get to play. x( next yr i guess. it was quite thrilling and exciting. very ci ji. hahaha. like dunno wat to expect and so scary in a way. hahax. so anyway, once in a while, i'll go over to the field and check out the score of the super capt's ball. at one point of time, it was so funny loh! i was dere looking and EAST scored a goal! so i was shouting and cheering and clapping and guess wat? i was the only one making noise! it was super quiet. the guys playing only clapped. wah.. totally different frm the scene at super poison ball. =X i felt so paiseh. haha. i quickly asked kenneth wat was the score and thank God we were leading by quite alot. and by the end of the game, thank God we won! heh.. pastor kok hwa was saying how badly they were thrashed that day. =X so anyway, went to eat wif lao da after heart.sports. just me, my sis and lao da. haha.

we went to far east to eat. went to sakura. haha. the food not bad lah. fellowshipped quite alot wif lao da too. den later we went to taka to meet up wif alan and have mac ice cream! haha. he din go for heart.sports today tho. cuz he was sick. down wif fever for quite a few days liaox. poor thing. so anyway, we couldnt get a seat at mac so bought the mcflurry and watched elmo!! hahax! xD there was a live performance dere at that time. singing and acting. elmo was santa clause! haha. and dere was cookie monster! so cute. wahaha. and we waved to some orange which could only see thru the mouth of that costume. hahaha. we felt young again? hahaha! lame lah. haha. after that we went to kino cuz my sis wanted to go dere. to see comics, as usual. haha. den after that she say wanna go home le loh! cuz she felt she stink. =X haha. but i felt bad lah. cuz just met up wif alan nia. make him go all the way dere. plus he sick. haiya. but my sis ah.. aiyo.. dunno wat to say also. end up, he and lao da sent us off to the mrt den lao da pei alan. haha. hope he's feeling better already. x)

hmm so now home, blogging. watched abit of batman on tv just now. hahaha. lame. ok lah.. blog again.. whee.. God loves YOU! xD

yes.. that's wat i am.. deprived of so many things just cuz of one stupid bone! haix. at first, i was really looking forward to today, thinking i would b happy.. haix. u'll know why later.. haix..

so today, got woken up by two phone calls. one frm my mum and the other frm justyn. hmm was gonna meet up wif clar n sy today at tampines mrt before THEIR training starts. FYI, i'm BANNED frm training. haix. it's so sad lah. dunno for how long summore. haix. so anyway, met up frm them and den just walk ard tm. i was looking for a job but cannot find! argh.. all want 16 yrs and above. so sian loh. at home also got nth to do. den later they all need go for training liaox. met up wif gerald outside mac first b4 they went. that guy ah. so funny one lah! blur blur de. den i always make fun of him. wahahax. so ya, anyway, met up wif my maid den go hospital together for my appointment. was so looking forward to it.. but everything was SO SO WRONG. haix.

at CGH, thank God din havta wait so long for my turn. so went in and see Dr Hsu. he go see see the stitches den say it's ok but still abit swollen. but will remove the stitches. i was super happy lah! den he told me wat the bone was. he say it's an unusual bone loh. something like it's grwoing out of place. and i think he exaggerated abit when he said the bone he drilled off frm behind my ear, was as big as an EGG. cannot be bah. =X at most, MARBLE. so anyway, the worst thing i ever heard that came out frm his mouth was, "there's a possiblity that the bone will grow back." ???!?!!?!?!!!!!! WAT?????!!!!! that was the first thing that came to my mind! GOD! HELP ME! =X haix! imagine if i hadta go for the op every now and den just to remove that stupid growing bone. haix. muz pray for God's mercy. haix. den later, he sent me out to sit first and wait for the nurse to call me. after that, i went to dis treatment room where the nurse removed the stitches for me. the feeling when she took it out, was abit funny. yes, it was a little pain, and itchy? i dunno. just a funny feeling. but it was a little bit painful. no choice. there were 11 stitches altogether. scary horx. in the end, she left 2 stitches dere cuz the wound hasnt fully recovered and she plastered the rest of the wound. haix. and den i asked if i could go back to my training. the nurse went to check wif the doctor and it was one SUPER DUPER BAD NEWS. i CANT!! at least for another week loh! until the stupid swelling go down. WHY WHY WHY?!! all i wanna do is RUN! that simple thing i'm also deprived of? it has been two weeks since i last train already. i miss it so so so much. i wanted to cry when i heard that. cuz i dun even noe when the swelling will go down! wat if it doesnt go down by next week? den it'll b another week!! AHH!!! GOD PLS HAVE MERCY!! haix. i controlled my tears lah. den the nurse tot it's so pain until i wanna cry cuz she still removing the stitches. den i told her i was ok. haix! after that we took a shuttle bus to simei mrt and shop awhile at east point. as in, just walk walk, explore abit. haix.

when i reach home, i went to my mum's bed, lie dere and cried loh! mayb u think it's stupid to cry just cuz i cant train. but u dunno how much training means to me! haix. u noe, it took me so much effort, hard work, determination and not forgetting, perserverance to get to where i was?! now everything is back to ZERO!! ZERO ZERO ZERO!! NOTHING! i havta train all over again! the feeling just sux loh. =X haix. havta go thru everything ago. and when i go back to training, i will lag behind all my peers! haix. why why why.. x'( sports is the only thing that when i do, i forget all my problems and i'm happy! and it's really fun to train wif all my peers and juniors. i mean all the fun we had, the encouragement we give each other. i'm missing out so so so much! i miss my team. even tho it's small. they rock! without them, there wouldnt even b a team. haix. i really thank God for them. but now, even tho it's a mere THREE weeks, it's alot to me! i dun get to train wif them! haix. imagine how much i would have trained in the NINE trainings! that's alot u noe. haix. and coach muz b so disappointed in me for missing so many trainings. he had so much hope in me. plus, i'm deprived of so many things! mayb u dunno, but i love water! i love the rain! but bcuz of that stupid wound, i cant walk in the rain. i cant play wif water. i cant wash my hair myself! it's so dumb. haix. i'm missing out on so many things. and i cant swim! haix! all the sports i cant do lah! haix! and bcuz of the wound, i'm deprived of a good night's sleep simply bcuz i cant turn to the left and slp! i always wake up in the middle of the night just to STRETCH! and i always wake up every morning wif backaches! haix. just one stupid bone and it has caused me so much misery. *God, pls help me. i need you. let ur mercy fall upon me. take away the swelling, pls God. have mercy. pls dun take away the thing i enjoy doing most.* haix.. come to think of it, i shld not have gone for the op. if i din, none of these would have happen.. i would just havta bear wif some minor headaches and everything would b ok.. haix..

anyway, i sms clar that i couldnt go for traininig. after a while, she called me and ask me not to cry le. but as i think more bout it, i cried more loh. haix. i mean.. i really dunno wat to do already lah! haix. den i cannot exercise, become pig loh! haix. at home also got nth to do. outside, also cant find job. like a good-for-nothing girl! haix. den ppl think i siao, hols do hw. but wat else can i do??!! haix.. watever lah.. now i only want the swelling to do down. pls pray for me! haix. den later, i quickly bathe den got ready to go for hof le. wore my new shirt and skirt loh. went dere, surprised to see weisheng, twinnie, adidas, jiamin, eileen, jack they all sitting in one row. like in classroom liddat. waiting for lesson to start. haha! =X den later they one by one want see my stitch loh. i put on quite a sad face loh, thinking of the FACT that i cant train for ONE more week. haix. so anyway, worship started soon enough and pastor chui shared today. alter call was very reviving. God spoke to me during the alter call. he told me not to b so sad bout not being able to train. he says he wan me to rest my ankle, go see a sinseh. and ask me not to worry, for when i go back to training, i will b able to cope wif the repetitions and everything. but somehow, i dun feel safe. =X wat if it is not God who spoke to me but is i made up myself? =X or wat if i make God angry [[not on purpose]] during this period of time and den later he dun wann help me? =X i felt a little better tho but i dun dare hope for anything too high. i just wanna trust God. i really wanna achieve sth in sports loh. dun wan my efforts all to go down the drain. haix.. God help me..

after hof, fellowship wif some ppl at the first level. talked to adidas also. and to alicia. she asked me how's my operation and stuff. and told me some advice bout memorising the parts and everything. thank God for her. den on the bus, i sat alone and was super quiet. sometimes, i wonder to myself, why i isolate myself and not join the rest. =X i also dunno why. it's definitely not cuz i'm the quiet type cuz i'm not! during training, i'll b the one talking most of the crap. the noisest one loh! during repititions, i'll also b the one cheering my peers and juniors on. and once we complete it successfully, we'll give each other hi-fives. haix. miss those times. haix. so anyway, ya. i dunno why i dun go join them. mayb it's bcuz i dun like taking initiative. =X dun get it wrong. if i dun take initiative, how can i b capt of my track and field team rite? wat i mean is, i dun take initiative in TALKING to ppl FIRST. admin stuff and everything, i will take the initiative to tell the teacher or watsoever. but somehow, come to talking, i dun take the initiative to start the con. =X mayb only for msn and sms? hmm.. i realise that on msn, if that person dun talk to me, i wun talk to that person first. =X unless, i needa ask the person sth, that i will go talk to that person first. and sms. normally, is other ppl sms me first. like ask me how i am, wat m i doing and stuff. i NVR do that. only once. to twinnie. cuz i felt like she was always doing the smsing first and i felt bad. =X i wanted to b pei to call her twin, be dere for her and everything. so i smsed her first. she told me she was ok and everything was fine and that's it. oh yes! that's the reason! cuz if i start a conversation FIRST, it nvr last long! =X and i think another reason is also cuz i got phobia of ppl being irritated by me. i'm afraid that like on msn or anything, the person is busy or wat, den i dun wanna disturb. =X dis initiating of conversation thingy, has caused my downfall. seriously. in relationships esp. and i mean BGR. but watever. BGR does not concern me anymore till i'm ready. now is FRENSHIPS. haix. dunno howta start initiating conversations. any advice? *God help me.. so many weaknesses in my life that i need you to help wif. change me oh God..*

well, that's all for today i guess.. wat a day huh.. full of feelings and emotions.. woosh.. oh yes! my mum say mayb she got job for me. some wrapping services. woot. muz pray hard. hehe. blog again tmr.. no heart.sports for me tho. haix.. x( God bless..

wahaha. shopping rocks man! hahax. today went out wif shuyi. went to town and S-H-O-P!! hahahax. i siao liaox. but yup, enjoyed myself. xD finally loh! can get to go out. and not stay at home and feel so pig. finally can do sth meaningful. hehe. hmm let's see. i woke up late today! =X hehe. was supposed to meet sy at 11am at somerset mrt but i woke up at 10.30am! i panick loh. hahax. den faster sms her, say change the meeting time to 11.30am. den as the msg was sent, i received a msg too. and it was sy! wahaha. we msged each other at the same time loh! so funny. she sms me say she was gonna b late. haha! den i gang hao change the meeting time. wahahax.

so we met up at somerset mrt den went to cine to eat. ate at some jap diner thingy. the food not bad. had omelette wif noodles. yumyum. hehe. den went to heeren and got sam his bday present. a shirt! wahaha. no offence, but it's so hard to buy gifts for guys loh. so limited. =X for me, i always get them a shirt. wahaha. =X i mean, wat else? =X wallet? watch? hmm.. haha. so anyway, went to take neoprints after that. haha. that's a must on a girls' day out. haha. den went back to cine to play arcade! wahaha. so fun. played that hockey thingy game nia. whoosh.. we play like so agressive liddat. wahaha. sy won in the end. x( wahaha. close fite. haha. den we walked to taka. was actually looking for baleno cuz i was eyeing dis shirt. hehe. very nice one. den tot town should have at least ONE baleno. in the end, we couldnt find it in taka, ngee ann city and not even wisma atria! sian man. haha. so went to far east instead. was just looking ard. had in mind of buying a black skirt. but those we saw at taka was either too ex or not nice. =X hehe. we stayed in far east for bout 1 hour ++ loh. haha. tired sia. woohoo..

after that, we went to isetan at shawhouse dere. was just shopping and looking ard and den, sy saw a skirt! hehe. so nice loh! den i go try den can leh! not bad. and it's only $13!! so cheap loh. =X jiu jiu shop yi ci so can mah. hahax. den we went to walk along lucky plaza dere cuz i tot there was a baleno dere and woohoo! there it was! hahax. so i finally got the shirt i wanted. whee.. hehe. after that, i wanted to go borders cuz i had some value card. wah.. stayed in dere for about 1 hour, still couldnt find the book i wanted. so nvm, we decided to get a drink at mcafe. but after looking at the menu, we decided not to. wahaha. den walked to tang plaza dere the food thingy and got some sushi and ICE-CREAM! yumyum! xD gelato. FAT-FREE! hehehe. NICE. haha. so funny la me. was playing wif it den poof! i spilled ice cream on my shirt. =X haha. sian loh. faster go toilet and wash. haha. still stained lah. sian. tot of changing into my new shirt but den i tot of my jacket. hehe. so i wore it home. really thank God loh. cuz before i left the house, i was quite mao dun to whether to bring my jacket not. in the end, i somehow brought it and thank God it was brought to good use. hehe.den at home, i tried out my new shirt and skirt and showed my maid. she said it was very nice. wahaha. very happy wif my buyings today. woohoo! hahahax. fun to shop loh! whee..

oh yah, think i forgot to mention that on sat nite, me and my sis actually had a sister talk!! and i mean a REAL sister talk!! woohoo! cant believe it. really thank God loh. i muz admit, it was abit of gossip tho. =X but yea! i think it really improve our relationship and the communication between us. shuang loh. at least we told each other our thoughts and feelings. wah.. it just feels so gd. hehe.

so yep.. that's my day. oh yes, think i'll b going to look for a job tmr. =X spending too much le. heh.. muz go earn money!! still gotta buy my drumset and phone! whee.. God help me.. and by tmr nite, i'll b STITCH-FREE! woohoo! xD hehehe. hey all, pls pray that dere'll b no complications when i remove my stitches tmr and that everything will go well and dere'll b good report! hehe. God bless..

hmm the title of my blog so true hor? sometimes i really cant wait to go up and b wif the Lord. not that i'm facing probs now, but just seeing the ppl ard me facing trials and i cant do anything, makes me feel so useless and discouraged. oh well, havent been blogging for days. com had some problem. just gonna write bout some significant events that happened for the past few days.

let's see.. on sunday, pastor marion preached about anger. i think it's really good! and of course, practical. who doesnt get angry rite? and yep, i've decided to try to control my temper. i realise that mayb sometimes i am easily angered by my two younger sisters but i'm gonna try to change. and praise God! i have done it! well, sort of.. hehe. the time span for me to get angry is longer. =X and i dun shout at them so loudly liaox. =X ok ok, i will pray that God will continue to help me change. x) so ya.. and sunday, i've also decided to fast from all oily and heaty food! haha. it's time man. cant believe i havent eaten chocolate frm sunday till today! oh man.. hahax. that's about the sunday..

monday, went to sch cuz hadta copy some notes and see tchen. in the end, couldnt find him! sian man. den went to parkway frm clar nu-er, walk walk and shop awhile den go home slp. =X haha. i feel very pig these few days loh! always slp slp slp. sian man. cuz there's nth else to do! =X den later twin sms me told me she got wrongly accused. haix. i really wonder, how can her sch frens do that? even whom she tot was her good frens, turned their back on her. poor thing. haix. felt bad i couldnt b dere for her and dere was nth else i could do. haix. oh well, that's about my monday! sian rite! actually got training but cant go. =X cuz cant sweat! argh! hate the stitches man.. I TOTALLY MISS TRAINING!! AH!! =X

my tuesday was a little better i guess. went to return some dvds at whitesand den went to SHOP! haha. but not for clothes, for FOOD! hahaha! =X my maid was quite irritated by me cuz i was like this cannot, that cannot cuz oily, heaty, watever! hahax. dis is the first time i was so particular about the things i ate. but overall, i kinda enjoyed myself cuz shopping rocks! hahahax. that's about it.. oh yah, on the mrt, i looked at the ppl around me. it just feels so.. i dunno.. it seems like everyone was putting on a mask. i mean, i dunno what's really behind those faces. it feels so mysterious u noe. like wondering whether they are really happy and all.. well, this is life bah..

hmm.. today, i woke up at 2pm! siao rite! haha! slack the whole day by watching dvds! hahahax. did abit of hw tho. ABIT mind you. hehehe. den went for g12. so that's about it. my BORING day. haix. hope tmr will get better. boo.. blog again tmr.. bye...

hmm the verses above is for my twin and her kor de loh. mayb the words used in dese few verses are abit strong but i hope u two will think bout it loh. dun wan both of you to fall into any trials or watsoever. twin, u can talk to me if you dunno wat i mean.

so anyway.. sorry din blog for the past few days. was kinda busy.. let's see.. wat happened this few days.. will just note down the significant events lah horx.. lazy mah.. hehehe. =X hmm on thur ah.. i whole day at home loh. sian. oh yah! lao da came to visit me in the evening and brought my 'turban' along. hahax! felt so paiseh loh. cuz fell aslp when doing my hw den when he come i was still slping. =X den my maid faster wake me up. hehe. den he showed me the 'turban'. it's actually a head scarf loh. i wear like milk maid liddat leh! =X hahax! den both of us talked for quite some time. talked about alot of things ah! increased my knowledge quite abit. hehehe. had fun talking to lao da. xD den when we talking halfway, we suddenly heard funny noises coming out frm my mum's room. it was trini! hahax! she was singing in a funny voice. den she sang her way out to kyna who was at the com. she forgot that there was guest in the hse. hahax! den she turn and saw lao da. den she panick! haha. paiseh loh she! ran to my maid's room den faster run back to my mum's room. hahax. lao da and me were laughing and laughing.. aiyoyo. evil us. wahahax! den at bout 8pm, lao da go le loh. dunno go home or go meet alan. hahax. so that was practically my day. sian hor.

hmm.. friday was a little better. din feel so pig anymore. hahax. cuz went to sch mah! last day, so decided to go back to collect all my hw and stuff. but it was a mistake lah. sian. so ya.. went to sch earlier just to find a way to cover the stitches. think i freaked alot of ppl out on my way to sch. missed a 33 so took 30 instead. den hadta walk. sian loh. den i reach sch, faster go toilet. in the end, i came out of the toilet looking the same. wear the scarf really look like milk maid leh! =X i very paiseh loh. den cap also look very funny. so nik say nvm loh. just leave it cuz it's not so obvious anyway. so yah loh. left it liddat den went to show shan. she was like, COOL!! hahax. i was like DISGUSTING!! hahax. after a while, i went to my class.. and freaked my GUY classmates out! hahahax! i'm quite surprised leh. my stitches freaked more guys out den girls loh. HAHAHA! unbelievable rite.. hahax. den during break time, thama came frm behind and studied the stitches. hahax. den kest and di also. haha. they all like so fascinated yet so disgusted? i dunno. hahax. so yep. den during physics, kena by that tchen. sian loh. bcuz of him, i hadta go back to sch on monday JUST to show him my hw. cuz i nvr go sch, in hospital, so din noe he gve hw so nvr do. den he checked and say those who nvr do muz show him on monday and said that ABSENT IS NOT AN EXCUSE. stupid lah he. =X *breathe in breathe out.. forgive and forget..* whoosh.. ok i'm gd. xD hehe. den after sch, went to parkway to shop for a cap. hehe. eventually found it at mini toons. cheap and not bad. den went home to... guess wat leh? zZzZzzzZ lah! wat else can i b doing.. pig me! hahax. =X den woke up bout 5 plus and got ready to go hof. wore my cap and look so weird! haha.

it was special event btw, by my reg! woot! hahax. 1800-HEAVEN. LOVE IT! so cute lah the angels. joy acted really well! haha. yireng looked cute yet funny on stage! haha! =X haha. dixon was really funny! the way he made the entrance on stage.. COOL AND CUTE!! haha. alan looked funny too. =X haha! that small little angel wings. haha. den pastor kok hwa shared the word of God today. it was titled 'PRAISE HIM IN THE STORM' and it was really GOOD! it really came at the right time. it was to tell us to praise him no matter wat. even in bad times, we muz learn to praise him. we muz learn to trust God. and know that even if we're facing storms, God is wif there, wif us, all the way, till the storm calms. woohoo! xD i think it was really suitable for ice but she din go. =X haix. i will continue to pray that God will speak to her heart. her heart now is so hardened against God. muz pray for God's mercy. haix. so anyway, after the event, everyone was so curious to why i was wearing a cap lah. den alot requested to see the stitches. sian man. hahax. den reached home quite late cuz bus came quite late. was so tired. do abit of hw den slpt le loh.

today woke up at 11 plus. =X was going to twinnie's hse. she and ws called alot of times but my phone silent so din hear. =X felt so bad. *sorry yah..* hmm den met up wif ws at his hse bus stop at bout 12.30pm. reach twin's hse bout 12.45pm, close to 1pm. den we just talked and slacked. den i felt quite uneasy there. =X shan't mention why. not convenient to. den hor, at one point of time, we talked abit bout bgr. den suddenly ws asked bout adidas loh. asked me if i really had no feelings for him. well, i dun wanna comment lah. but anyway, bgr for me now, is a NO NO. hahax. scared of it liaox. so dun even wanan go think bout it. wahaha. so anyway, we talked bout 4 plus den i hadta leave to go somerset le. both of them came along. but they were going to sengkang. after that, met up wif my mum, couz and ah ma at somerset the carpark dere den we go to harbour city restaurant to eat and to celebrate my ah ma's bday. she 81 yrs old le! thank God she still so healthy. hehe. but she still not saved. x( dunno howta spread the gospel to her cuz she speaks hokkien and my hokkien not gd at all. haix. muz ask my mum talk to her. hmm.. dinner was so filling loh! it was kinda buffet loh. so full loh! haha. sian. gonna gain weight again. x( dere was a wedding held dere too. so sweet loh. the bride and groom look so nice together. when i saw them, i was wondering, when will it b my turn. hehehe. =X still long way lah. haha. but the gown very nice! hahax. so anyway, after dinner, went to my ah ma's hse to cut cake cuz the atmosphere at the restaurant not rite ah. haha. ppl got wedding den imagine suddenly ppl start singing bday song. hahahax! cant imagine ah.. haha after we go home le loh. den now here blogging..

woo.. pig talked to me online first. now i feel that the conversation between us is really very FREN-like loh. that's gd. that shld b the way. i really thank God for his grace. x) for me to b where i am today, is really God's mercy and grace upon my life. xD oh yea, was thinking alot just now. wah.. seriously, i really wonder why my lian shang zhe me duo qing chun dou. =X if u understand, gd for u. dun understand, best for me! i still havta express my feelings here tho. sometimes i ask God why why why. and cry out for his mercy. today i did the same and he simply said that i've been eating too much chocolates. not only that, all the heaty and only food also. =X that is when i decided to fast frm heaty and oily food! no more till my face gets better. but God once again reassures me that : Man looks at the appearance but God looks at the heart. he also gave me this verse to remind me. Proverbs 12:9. it says " Better to be a nobody and yet have a sevant than pretend to be somebody and have no food." it means that it is better to look not so nice on the outside and have good character all that, INSIDE, than to look so pretty and nice on the outside when inside is rotten! yep! i agree. xD thank God for enlightening me. i will also continue to pray that God will help me not to b so conscious of how i look and how ppl think of me. afterall, i shld only b concern of how my CREATOR thinks of me. xD praise God!! tmr going to his hse to praise him again! woot! cant wait! shall go get some slp now. hehehe. byebye..

woo! praise God! i'm HOME!! unexpected rite? hehehex. really really thank God loh. wah.. the operation was a great experience loh. the procedure and everything. really let me da kai yan jie.. but thank God i only hadta stay in the hospital for one and a half days. phew.. i would have died dere.. wahahax.. so.. here goes.. x)

tuesday morning.. woke up early to shower before going to CGH. hmm.. went to the patient service centre to kinda sign in for admission. den later, i go to my ward, my bed le loh.. i whole morning ah.. very busy smsing ah.. but i'm quite happy also.. to know that so many ppl care for me.. *thanks u guys!! xD* but no matter wat, i know God's always here, beside me. x) so horx, i slack awhile at my bed dere. couldnt eat or drink anything cuz of the op. den was so hungry.. can hear my stomach grumbling.. hahax. den my mum down dere reading newspaper.. thank God for her. x) den later got one doc come and took so blood frm me. ouch! dun like injections loh. hate needles! eeww.. sian.. at bout 10 plus, got one nurse came and ask me to change to the surgery dress. hahax. it was dark blue in colour. felt weird wearing it.. hahax. den later, got two nurses push a very high bed into the ward and ask me to go up and lie. woo.. scary loh.. the chang mian.. hahax. den later, they push me all the way to the operation room. before entering, bid my mum gdbye. actually felt pathetic loh. =X going for operation yet dad overseas and den mum couldnt b the first person i see when i woke up. x( but still, i was glad God is wif me all the way. xD

as i enter the operating room, it was so cold! nearly froze to death. hahax. they covered me wif two layers of blanket loh. the nurses and doctors all quite nice. but hor, they keep asking me same qn one! =X "wat's ur name?" "wat's ur ic no.?" "any dentures?" "any drug allergy?" blah blah blah. same qn over and over again. hahax. i answer until sian liaox. haha. den after that, the nurse insert one tube into my hand. needle again! sian ah. PAIN ah! haiyo.. 3 injections altogether.. hate needles! x( haix. so anyway, they wheeled me to the operating theatre. dere, they inserted the anethestic*dunno howta spell* the thing that makes you fall into a deep deep slp. the doc did warn me that i was gonna fall aslp. when she inserted it in, my hand felt numb at first, den suddenly, i just konked out. just liddat! oh my.. den wat seemed like just a few minutes, i could hear someone asking me to wake up. it was so blur.. everything looked blur to me. my mind was in a mess. i knew where i was. den everything before the op just came into my mind. den i tot of twinnie and dennis! oh no! i desprately looked ard for a clock. i was feeling super dizzy and when i tried to lift up my head, it felt so heavy! den thank God i saw the clock and it was 2.15pm!! oh my!! i was being operated on for the past 3 hours! it was super looong loh! =X whoosh.. i wondered where twinnie and dennis were! haix. den later, Dr Hsu, the doc who operated on me, came over and see how i was doing. he told me how big the bone was and wat he did wif it. he told me if everything was ok, i could b discharged the next day.. woo.. i was so relieved.. thank God it was a success! xD

den, i was wheeled back to my ward. they transfered me back to my bed and left me to rest. i tried to sit up but i was too giddy to do so.. everything's just spinning ard me.. but one thing i hadta do.. to get back my phone!! hahax. i know twinnie n dennis were prob looking for me. i tried to ask one of the nurses for help but i was too shy at first. =X den later, i found some courage and quickly asked for my phone back. woot! when i finally got it, i quicky opened up the envelope and guess wat? 7 new messages loh. twinnie and a few other ppl were wondering how come i din reply. den i told twinnie i was out le. she felt bad that i din see her once i open my eyes, like she promised but i told her it was ok. sweet lah she. xD den i felt so bad cuz she n dennis kena stuck outside! =X visiting hours 12-2pm and 5-8pm nia. den that time 3 plus only so they couldnt come in. i felt so bad loh! din noe they were so strict bout the visiting hours. haix. i was still on drip at that time. no wonder i kept wanting to go to the toilet. =X hahahax. den later they asked if i wanna eat so i say ok loh. den they brought in porridge. not so nice ah but i still managed to eat alittle. felt like vomitting tho. very naesous and everything but the nurses said it was normal. aftermath efffects of the op. and they already prepared a plastic bag beside me but thank God i din vomit. hehex. after that, i tried to get some rest before i had visitors at 5pm. but as i was about to fall aslp, one of the nurses came in to take my blood pressure and temp.. wah sian loh.. den cannot fall aslp le.. sianx..

soon it was 5pm and twinnie and dennis came in! woot! hehex. den dennis nvr bring fruits like he promised.. x( wahaha. he say he wanna b like in tv liddat, dramatic. hahahax. lame lah he. haha. den after awhile, auntie candy and weisheng came! woo.. so nice of them to come visit me. den they started taking pics of me cuz they i say i look very nice and wanna keep for memories. -_- hahax. den twinnie left bout 5.30pm cuz she gonna meet her strawberry. heex. at bout 6pm, dinner was served loh. den weisheng, auntie candy and dennis waited for me to finish eating first before they left. they forced me to eat peas! and corns! and carrots! yikes! or else they will say me very ju pei wif.. aiya.. they ah.. bully me! hahax. evil loh. i hadta eat cucumbers too! sianx ah.. x( hahahax. i finish eating den they go loh. cuz auntie candy got leaders' prayer meeting also. hmm.. den i just slack at the bed for awhile. at bout 7pm, lao da and alan came! woohoo! hahax. lao da brought me donuts! hehehex. *thanks lao da!* they even got me a card. so nice of them. xD we chatted awhile before my mum came. she brought all the stuff i needed. really thank God for her. without her, i really dunno watta do. =] hmm.. mum could only stay for awhile cuz she needed to bring ahma go dentist. den soon, didi, shan and nik came! felt abit weird tho. =X cuz lao da and alan still dere. the chang mian very funny. =X hehehe. but lao da and alan say they pray for me den want go liaox. i felt abit bad loh. like gan ta men zhou liddat. =X *sorry ah lao da. =X but thanks for the prayer! xD*

i had a great talk wif the three of them! hehex. they give me a flower and a card. so nice of them. x) we talked for quite a while, and even too a few pics. hehe. wif my turban. x( bleah. hahax. the whole time, we were just teasing shan and her dumbness. wahahax. and they say my hair very stylo. haha! at first, i din really like the turban thingy. but turn out, everyone said it was cool and in the end, i tot so too! haha. couldnt bear to take it out. wahaha! xP den hor, the visiting hours till 8pm only but the three of them din care loh. haha! they even made announcement for the visitors to leave but they pretend they nvr hear. haha. =X den quite a few times i saw the nurses come in. tot they were gonna chase them out but they din. hehe. i enjoyed talking to them quite abit. really thank God for ALL my visitors loh. without them, i'll b bored to death.. just wished they werent so strict bout the visiting hours. hmph. at bout 9 plus, a nurse finally chased them out. say if not, the security will come. haha. i felt alittle bad loh. den hurried them to leave. =X we gave each other hugs and they left. me and the lonely nite. sianx.. i couldnt slp loh. so read the bible, read boy meets girl. move around, brush teeth, go toilet, eat chocs. hahax! =X den finally! i settled down, prayed and tried to slp. wah.. kept waking up every 2 hours loh. so sian. cant slp! =X so uncomfortable. firstly cuz the bed so hard and noisy and secondly, my head cant tilt to the left cuz of the bandage. so xin ku loh. thank God it was only for ONE nitex.

next morning, i hadta get out of bed cuz they wanted to change the bedsheets. den they ask me go shower but i kept saying later cuz i was quite lazy. hehe. =X not long later, the doc came in to check up on me. some unknown guy docs came too. the female one took off my turban and one of the guy doc advised me on wat i shld and shld not do to my wound. most imptly, it cant touched water. den doc say i could discharge today! woohoo! praise God! hehehe. after that, i din slp le. my mum came and i was surprised by her arrival cuz she din mentioned bout coming in the morning and i tot she hadta work. she came to see how i was doing before rushing off to her. how sweet of her. well, she's my mum! xD love her loads.. so anyway, breakfast was totally disgusting. =x OATS meal. EEWW! =X tasteless loh! so i just drank the milo. hehe. den msged lao da thru out the morning, plus one of my classmate who was wondering why i was not in sch. haha. den later batt flat ah! so i faster call lao da, in case he worried. den i also called my maid cuz i noe she picking me up later, to bring my charger so mayb can charge my phone for awhile. but den leh, got one GUY nurse, he actually offered to swop batteries in me cuz the charger was in another room. so he put my battery into his phone and went to another room to get it charge. so nice of him loh! hahax. actually earlier on, my mum had asked him for a charger but he said he din have cuz the hospital dun encourage patients to use. hahax.

later, my mum came and i could go home already! the staff nurse helped us to settle the medication and admin stuff before we left. i almost went home wif that nurse's batt loh! thank God i rememebered. =X hehex. den later, my maid received a call frm my mum saying kyna was sick. so we hadta go pick her up frm tns b4 going home. woo.. all the NGs getting sick.. haix.. muz pray for God's mercy. at bout 2 plus, nik came over wif clar's present. we intended to gave her a surprise in the hospital but cuz i was discharged early, they decided to come my hse instead, say to visit me. hahax. after training, they came over and i pretended that i was sick in bed. den clar was the first one to step into the room. oh yah, i prob forgot to mention that today's her bday! hahax. so yep, we hid her present under my blanket and on the count of three, nik lift it up and surprised her! woot! hahax. it was a jigsaw puzzle and a book. not just an ordinary jigsaw nor was it just an ordinary book. it was a jigsaw that was made up of OUR VERY OWN pics. woot! how cool is that? hahax. and our very own book, made specially for her! we recalled all the memories we had together and put it down in the book, together wif pictures! so cool horx! and i tot of it de loh! xD hehex. thank God for the ideas. could tell she was touched. hehe. we ate a few chocs, took a few pics and they hadta go home le. they were tired frm training man, i could tell. and talking bout training, i MISS training ALREADY! x( not fair. i cant train till the 18 of nov. that's so sad loh. all my efforts like go down the drain. took so long for me to get to where i m today. muz pray that God will help me to gain it back fast. x

after they went home, i did abit of math hw and den watched abit of tv. din go for g12 tho. sister and mother wanted me to rest at home. so no choice loh. plus i'll prob freak ppl out wif my stitches. haha! xP den just now also received a call frm thama. he heard bout my op loh. den he sounded abit concern. thankful for a fren like him. xD *to those who know him, dun get the wrong idea hor. we're just frens. and he has a gf. x)* hehehex. den after slacking for awhile, here i m blogging.. and i finally came to a decision of not going to sch tmr even tho ivan told me i was missing out alot. decided to rest for one more day. dun dare take God's mercy for granted. x) hmm. but friday, i die die also muz go hof ah! reg A special event. hehe. wouldnt miss it! xD so.. blog till here.. tmr den blog again.. haha! go zZzZZz liaox. all the best to those taking O levels geog tmr! jiayou jiayou! pray hard n study hard! God will b wif you all! xD

today's blog is gonna short i think. heh. cuz kinda in a hurry. so anyway, today i had loads of fun! wheehee! xD after sch today, went for training. rush like siao loh! cuz that mariam let me out late den hadta rush. tot we would b late for training but thank God, we were a little early and guess wat? coach was late! haha! =X he told us his story when he came loh. he forgot to wind up his window den his cash card got stolen! $70 plus inside i think. poor guy. den his very old stop watch and even his HOUSE REMOTE CONTROL also kena. haha! =X i got nth to say bout that thief loh. hahax. and oh yah, we kena chase out by a moody temasek teacher cuz he caught us running in the sch. sian loh. thank God coach spoke up for us, say we outsider so dunno. den tms de athletes kena scolded. =X oh watever. hahax! so anyway, training was quite slack today cuz it was SUPER hot! wah.. cannot tahan ah.. we summore den hill runs. THREE ah! den last run i push like siao den vomitted at the end. =X cant believe it loh! first time i vomit during training. disgusting lah! sian. haha. after that, we go TM le loh.

me, shuyi, clar, amanda, gerald and justyn went. we gonna celebrate clar's bday also cuz wed i not going sch le. =X u'll noe why later. so ya, we met up wif wei qi at TM. den they ate at mac while i volunteered to go buy the tickets for SKY HIGH! that show rocks loh! hahax. before we went into the cinema, we went to take neoprints first. the machines at Tm so limited. sian loh. haha. den after we finishing taking hor, den i realised that the movie tickets missing loh! i panick sia! i was asking who have who have? den i say dun play ah, seriously not funny. cuz i noe justyn n gerald like to play a fool that kind one mah. but no, none of them had it! we all very scared loh. $42 leh! den i was like thinking, could we have left it at macs cuz gerlad n me was playing wif it just now. so i ask gerald to faster go mac n find. and PRAISE GOD! THANK GOD! it was wif the manager! wah.. we all so relieved loh. esp clar, could tell she was super scared. haha. really thank God loh. i prayed loh, when gerald went to mac to find. den when found it le i was like saying thank God non stop. phew.. so after taking the np, we went to the cinema le. the show really rocks loh! so NICE! but the way the story develops, quite expected. nvm, it's still nice anyway. haha. oh yah, den dere was dis bus driver in the show and guess wat's his name? RON WILSON! hahaX! i kept teasing clar. hehe! den she was like omg omg. hahax! xD so yep, after the show, amanda and gerald went home. den we all went to the playground outside and took pics! haha. i sat the thingy that goes round and round, and crap sia. so giddy! hahax! took a few pics wif sy's cam also. so fun! heh. after that, clar went to pierce her ears! woo! finally sia! haha. and she looks nice. x) u go girl! xD i dun dare to see loh, when that person pierce for her. hehe. after that, we went to eat and den took more neoprints! hahax. fun seh. today altogether we took THREE times loh! hahax. so funy. tracker family ROCKS! xD sad sia, i din have time to buy my ankle guard cuz quite late le. haha. after that, we went home le loh.

den hor, when i reach home, my sisters actually gave me a hand-made card each! so sweet of them. x) and my mum gave me chocs. hehe. but trini ah, no ideas of her own. yest i did midori a card to ask her to jia you for her mid yrs and dun stress cuz God is wif her. den she and kyna sign loh. i even drew a pic of the three of us, holding poms poms and shooting 'you can do it!' to midori. den today, she did the same. just that the shout out is diff. haiyoyo. but it's the tot that counts! x) hehe. thank God for them. den later, i went online and immediately alot of ppl ask me bout my op the details le. hahax..

so about my op, seriously, i'm not at all worried bout it. x) cuz i noe God will b wif me! hehex. and mayb bcuz i have dis mindset, that if the op fails, it's prob time for me to go home n b wif the Lord. x) but watever the result is, i have faith in God! xD i mean, how many ppl an b like me, so hyper and happy the day before their op? hahax! i even enjoyed today! had so much fun! regardless whether i'm going of the op or not. actually wat scares me bout the op is the injection! haha. hate needles man. but God will take away the pain de! x) and i'm really happy to know that so many ppl ard me actually care for me. =X i used to think i'm detestable and that i've hurt many ppl in my life and everything. but i'm glad that my mindset is slowly starting to change. and last time, i used to b quite concerned bout the way a look. frankly, last time i dun like the way i look. =X that explains my low self-confidence. but thank God, he made me slowly accept the fact that it doesnt matter how i look like but how my heart is like. wat's insideis MORE impt den wat's outside. and he once again reminds me that Man looks at the appearance but God looks at the hearts. x) thank God yea. x) *dun jugde me if you dunno me* and one thing i'm very convicted about is my prayer life. my prayer life is quite weak i muz admit. just hope that i will have the will and the conviction to talk and seek God everyday. *God help me to seek your face!* i noe he will bring me thru everything! x) and to all sec 4s who are taking their O levels right now, ALL THE BEST!! x) just remember, DO YOUR BEST AND GOD WILL DO THE REST!! xD pray hard, study hard! jiayou jiayou!! x)

hey. here to blog again! hahax. woo.. as u can see, i had a memorable day today! hahax. u'll find out soon.. so anyway, wq, sy and nik came my hse today to do clar's present. nik came the earliest as she hadta leave early. den wanted to wait for sy to come first before watching THE PRINCE AND ME. but den hor, we decided to go ahead without her cuz she seemed to take forever to come! wahahax. we started doing when everyone was dere. the tv was a distraction man! hahax. nobody could really do anything. think i did most of it. but nvm, it's not finished yet. tmr ask them do more. hehehex. xP after taht, i rush to heart.sports le. even tho i reached a little late, thank God the game hasnt started yet. apologized to lao da for being late cuz he wanted me to bring mid's rakect and i told him i'll b dere at 3pm. =X hmm, dere, saw that ice was very sad liddat. like mei xing qing. i noe she had a prob lately but i to she ok le. went to talk to her but was kinda rejected. will say more bout her later. so anyway, capt ball started at4pm. wah.. tough game, even tho i muz say the first 10min of the game was qutie relaxed. but ah, the last part of the game was competitive ah! thank God i managed to shoot in quite a few goals today. i dunno were we rough or wat, but dere seemed to b more west ppl who got injured than east ppl. in fact, no east ppl got injured. =X putting away the fact that i was wif an injured ankle lah. hehe. but the whole game was tiring for me man. that ankle of mine was killing! but i played on. thank God nothing happened but i think alvin and yi reng is right. i better not take God's mercy for granted and go see a sinseh soon. that's wat i'm gonna do on monday so that as i rest in the hospital after my op, i can rest my ankle too. probably gonna get a ankle guard as well to prevent my ankle frm giving way. heh. after heart.sports, went to eat dinner wif lao da, nelwin and alan. and as the title suggest, it IS a day to remember as i learnt alot today.

we went to far east to have our dinner at some malay stall? yea i think so. haha. somehow, we started talking bout BGR. oh yah, i remember now. lao da called twinnie to 'scold' her for pangsehing me. hahax! den after he hung out, i was like saying her cousin is worst. =X den they all started asking why and all. den i was like huh? ur dunno meh? =X den lao da guessed it loh. sian. gonna buay tahan soon. but thank God for controlling my temper loh. haix. he's like my dad or sth, everything i do, muz tell him. it's seems like he's asking me wat i m doing every hourly. ok mayb i'm exaggerating a little, but yah, i cannot tahan. =X den alan started giving his opinions loh. i think reading of relationships books has really benefitted him alot and i've learnt alot frm him too. and he really noes how i feel loh. like getting irritated and things liddat. and i like the way he thinks. he thinks that even if he likes a particular girl, he should treat every girl the same. i mean ya loh, that's how, in a way, u wun scare her away. just start off as frens first. he also says that he wun everyday sms or talk to the girl he likes. he will give her some space. den mayb once in a while talk to her. i think that shld b the way loh. actually alan not bad loh. whoever is his gf in future is very blessed. hehe. x) i agree that he talks alot! but i dun mind. cuz it's really good. and practical. anyway, i talk alot too! that is if i wan to. hahax! wat's gd bout lao da is that he likes to listen. that's y they make gd frens. hehe. after staying quite awhile at the dinner place, we decided to go walk ard fareast and mayb look around stuff for retro christmas. hahax. abit kiasu but nvm mah. early better den wun last min. hahax. x)

later, we decided to go for a drink at ah mei toast or sth liddat lah. hahax. alan introduce de. we hadta wait quite awhile for a seat. den later, the three of them ordered ice tea and egg while i had ice milo only cuz i dun take tea and was quite full le. hahax. and den, we talked again. hahax. i think alan is really an ideal husband loh. hahahax. he can cook summore. hahax. he's quite sweet lah, cuz he says he will reserve his first kiss for his BRIDE. means only when he married that day den he will have his first kiss. i think it's quite meaningful loh. i felt abit convicted also. =X acutally, the conversations we had during dinner and till 'supper', i was quite convicted. but i really thank God that he has set free now. some things that alan n nelvin mentioned, convicted me but that's the old me. it's a new me now. x) so anyway, somehow, adidas got pulled into the conversation. i think it was lao da who first talked bout him. he asked me if i noe wat he said to adidas den i was like huh dunno. den lao da told me that he asked adidas not to give up on me. i was quite shocked acutally. i tot lao da was on my side. =X den he told me that he wants adidas to b focused. plus now, he shld concentrate on his Os. actually, the reason i want him to give up is because i'm afraid to hurt him again. *but lao da, u ask him not to give up, den wat if i hurt him again? =X* haix. den later, i also told lao da, bout the book he lent me. one of the story is the same scenerio as me n adidas. the girl also strongly rejected that guy, without much consideration. but in the end, they were together. den he was like yah yah.. i was like oh no oh no.. hahax! xP i also remember, there was one period of time where the guy was very cold to the girl. den that guy got a gf but it din work out. but he nvr forget bout the girl. so he decided to try again. and den blah blah and they were together. hahax. i also dun wan go think so much loh. after all that has happened, no more relationships for me until God tells me i'm ready. my heart belongs to God now, like i said. so he will choose whom he wants to give it to. hehex. oh yah, den i also told lao da and alan how bad i felt that adidas spent so much money on me and yet i rejected him. =X i cant really remember wat they say. sth like it's he who wanna give den dun need feel bad or sth liddat? aiya i cant remember le. told u i got STML. hahax. we talked quite a bit dere lah. but i couldnt get my mind off some things. watever alan n lao da said, is really practical lah. den i also dunno wat to do or howta think. just trust God loh. so anyway, after that, we went home le loh.

the journey home was a thinking one indeed. hahax. watever lao da n alan said, kept flowing thru my mind. it seemed like i'm reading a book, except that it was verbally read. hahax. i tot bout adidas also. and think i've sometimes gone overboard by being so cold towards him loh. was very convicting loh. cuz i've not been a gd testimony. and also to shawn. =X fa pi qi on him today. and was quite cold towards him. every sms he sent me, it was always a short yes or no. but haiya, it's like history repeating itself ah. and knowing wat kind of person i m, i will get irritated loh. if i reply him like normal, happy, he'll think it's ok to keep on msging me loh and i dun really like it. but him, being 12-yr-old kid, i'm sure his mindset very simple one loh. wun think he's irritating me or anything. or mayb cant even tell i'm irritated wif him. if he could, he wouldnt be msging me EVERYDAY even tho i dun reply to most of his msges le. i.. i.. aiya i just dunno wat to do already. haix. God help me.

now bout ice, she's facing some family prob loh. and sometimes, i feel like i fail as her fren. she keeps blaming God for not answering her prayer and everything i said to her, doesnt seem to speak to her heart. she's so... COLD! cold towards God. her heart has really harden and she summore say she QUIT going to church! haix. she also said she has been scolding bad words again, back to the same old her le. she told me she's not the ice she use to b. she's not ice anymore. haix. sometimes, i'm so discouraged by the things she said, but i'm encouraged by God. all the things he has done in my life, it's just AMAZING. i've also just gone thru my trial not too long ago. i fell into the same trap twice in a row, but eventually, God brought me thru! praise God! i understand that many ppl are faced wif problems nowadays but we must remember that God is coming back and dese are the signs of the end of the edge. read matthew 24 or mark 13 or Luke 21:5 and u noe wat i mean. in fact, there are many other chapts int he bible which says bout the signs of the end. we will face trials but we muz stand firm in the Lord! x) also, one more verse which wenyi shared to me just now and which i would like to share to ur. 1 Peter 4:12. i think it really helps me loh! it gives me God's assurance. so fear not! x) that is all i havta say bah. i will pray for those who are facing trials now. God's mercy is crucial. i pray that God will bring you all thru! and muz have faith. faith in God that he is in control. x) ok, blog till here. gotta zZzzzZ le.. got church tmr.. and no worries cuz God holds our tmr! x)

woo! wat a tiring day.. nth really happened today acutally. just tired. hehe. hadta wake up at 6.30am for sch today. was still quite early when i left the hse so managed to catch the earlier bus. woo. thank God. den reach sch quite early also. saw anne den sat down and talked to her and jocelyn. gave her seaweed to eat also! hahax. den later sy came. and i remembered bout the proposal! crap horx. forgot to type out. =X i was like asking sy, how how how? hahax. den i faster call clar cuz dunno where she was. den she say she first period no lesson. wah.. thank God loh! hahax. i ask her help me type. den lesson starting le mah. so hadta hang up. den during a math lesson in the audi, i was smsing her. hehe. =X no choice mah. my fault for forgetting. =X den at 9am, we had our break. saw clar den faster go see the proposal. so kiam chai loh! hahax. but aiya, feel so bad that i ask ppl help me to type and print out le. so nvm loh, i din say much. hehe. den i just sign it and faster went to find mr rizal. couldnt find him loh! hahax. so pass it to gerald to pass it to him instead. oh yah, forget to say that TMS ppl were also dere. they training wif us. den after that, we no time to eat le. so went for class. MT next, so went up to 3C classroom.

as i was walking dere, i saw coach asking the athletes to run at the corridor dere. we also ran dere the last training. actually coach ask me whether can run dere cuz it's raining. den i tot no lesson so i say can. litte did i noe that dere got lessons. =X i faster go up to check the sec1s classroom dere. thank God it was dry and i faster ran down and told the coach he c0uld use the corridor at level four. phew. thank God seh. den i faster rush for my MT lesson. den the teacher not dere yet! sian loh. hahax. sat wif anne and amelia. den later halfway, rachel n mel they all suddenly say want organise class gathering. hahax. mayb bcuz they saw that 3C having class lunch bah. hahax. after MT, went to the canteen and realised training over le. sian loh. went in to the gym and found justyn dere. hahax. after that, had a math lesson AGAIN. but dis time was in class. ms wang is really funny. and she found out bout peck and umesh! haha! peck so paiseh loh. cuz she saw a ring on peck's finger. den she keep asking her, in front of the class, who that guy was. haha! actually that ring frm her 'wife', jie xi. hahax! but if i was ms wang, i think i would get the wrong idea too. haha. so when she asked peck, she was like no lah no lah. den ms wang as me and yf if that guy is frm sch or outide. we both starting laughing. we told her say it's frm dis class. hahax. den she was like HUH?! hahax! den we say it's frm a girl lah. den she oh oh. den somebody shouted out umesh! hahax. den she noes him mah. cuz he in choir den she the teacher. hahax! peck peck so paiseh loh! den me n yf laugh laugh laugh. hahax! den ms wang keep saying wat not ba, good choice, good taste. den me n yf cant stop laughing loh! hahax.

after sch, den clar n sy go my hse loh. actually, we supposed to make clar's present but nik got phy lesson after sch. so no choice, we say sat den make. den gan hao, clar also wan come my hse to have her lunch before going expo to get her mp3. haha. so both of them came loh. eat le den clar go expo. but they dun sell le. so clar come back. haha! den sy so funny lah! she keep on saying want play monopoly den clar want slp! hahax. so funny loh. cuz clar was like closing her eyes and throwing the dice while i was at the com. den everytime my turn, i would roll my chair dere just to throw and den row back. haha. she INSISTED on playing. and den it seems like she's the only one playing. hahax. funny lah she. after that, we went for training le loh. thank God we were not late AGAIN. hehe. we ran the 3.5 km route today! wah tiring seh! after that still jog to yio chu kang stadium! ah!! can die loh! but i told myself not to stop running. and i prayed for God's strength. hehe. after that, at the stadium, we still ran four time 200m loh! thank God i pulled thru. hahax. den i faster shower den go church le. wanted to take mrt but it looks like a loooong way dere. dunno howta cut thru. sian loh. so decided to take taxi instead. =X lazy lah me. plus so tired le. heh. i asked the taxi driver to drop me off at 7-11 dere cuz i desperately needed a drink! do u noe how pathetic yck stadium was? =X not to b evil or anything, but the stadium IS pathetic! the entrance is so small, nvm. worst still, dere isnt even a WATER COOLER! can you believe it? or can you imagine, a stadium without water cooler? oh my,the ppl who runs dere muz have thrist to death. haha. but seriously loh. but one thing i muz comment is that the toilet is super BIG! it has shower rooms too! whee.. haha. so thank God i could rinse off after training. so after buying my drink, i ran all the way to church cuz din wanna miss worship. hehe. thank God managed to reach dere on time.

hof service was as usual, worship den announcement den word of God. during the annonucement, the video was shown! AHH! nightmare ah! to see my face on the BIG BIG screen. =X sian loh. i dun sound like me loh! so eewww. hahax. trini her acting not bad bah. just abit mumbly in her speech. but very gd for a first time le. hahax. i was like covering my face when i saw the video. den my sis was laughing! so evil. hahax. and today's msg was SOLID! so convicting. knelt down and cried out to God at the alter call today. i can boldly say GOD HAS REALLY SET ME FREE! i really thank God for that. x) so anyway, after service, went down to level one the stairs dere cuz it was freezing cold! felt quite unwell also. dunno why but had a bad headache. think it has sth to do wif that bone. sigh. thank God gonna remove it soon. was also suffering frm gastric? ya i think so cuz nvr eat dinner. hmm soon the bus came loh. on the bus, me n jovin were msging each other even tho we were just TWO seats away. haha! she told me her probs loh. she and strawberry ok le. but now she n ws not ok. haix. poor thing lah she. always stuck int he middle den i also dunno howta help her. just pray that God will bring her thru loh. she also told me bout adidas on the bus. she say adidas also quite poor thing, no true frens. den i told her say many ppl say he change le loh. mayb they dun like the old him. and dunno that he change le. they just need some time to get their frenship right again bah. but if that's not the case, den at least he noe who his true frens really are. dere's bound to b one. God is merciful de. hmm so went to eat LJS at tampines. wah! nice! full! hahax. after that, den we went home le. had a nice bath den blogging le loh. hahax.

ok ok. very sleepy le. need my beauty slp. wahahax.. sy nik n wei qi coming my hse to do clar's present so havta wake up early.. ah.. hahax.. ok blog again tmr.. bye..

heyhey. here to blog again. sorry bout yest. was abit emotional but i'm ok now! x) will share wif ya my tots and all later. now gonna tell u wat i did today. was very slacky today. woke up at 12 plus loh. so pig rite! hahax. actually, i kept waking up ah, like hourly. but the time i REALY woke up was at 12 plus. heh. after that, i did my amath hw and watch dvd at the same time. u all muz b thinking i siao rite? hols still do hw. but guess wat? i stil have sch! sian horx. and the hw is due tmr. hahax. woohoo. watch 3 dvds today and i think the best one was THE PRINCE AND ME! the show super nice! it's really like a fairy tale come true. the guy so sweet. plus he so shuai! haha. LUKE MABLY ROCKS! haha. in short, the story is bout dis girl who wanna b a doc but later, she met this guy but din noe he was a prince who would take over the throne one day. when she found out, she had to decide whether to be queen or to continue pursing her medicine studies. in the end, she decided to pursue her doc carrer but still, ended up wif him. woo! haha. nice story. oh yeah. one sentence i liked that she quoted frm the book shakespeare wrote. it goes like dis, " love is blind and when we're blinded by love, it causes us to act unreasonably." haha! true, but nah.. doesnt mean anythign to me anymore. haha. after that, i had dinner and completed my jigsaw puzzle! woohoo! one thousand pieces leh. haha.

i love doing jigsaws! it's like my life. how do i put it? hmm.. it's like God is piecing my life together, slowly but surely! when the jigsaw is incomplete, it's not nice! missing pieces and everything. sometimes, we just cant find the right piece to fit in that particular place and wanna give up. dis can represent the problems we faced in life. many a times we wanna give up. but we must remember that God will bring us thru. and sometimes, we THINK itis the right piece and we keep trying to fit that piece into that particular place. we're so stubborn and foolish to realise that the piece is the wrong one! however, we eventually WILL find that missing or realise that all along, we were holding on to the WRONG piece. but finally, once we finish piecing the puzzle, it becomes a beautiful picture. that is the bigger and better picture that God sees. so we muz trust in Him! x)

now, about my tots. hmm.. i'm ok now. funny isnt it? one moment i can b so sad, and the next, so happy. but that is wat God can do! x) i've tot alot bout it. and i've can say that i've totally given up on him. i remember once when i ask sy wat she will do if she find out that kest doesnt like her le. she told me that she will siam him first den when the feeligns for him gone le den mayb can try being frens again. i guess that's wat i shld do frm the start. and that's wat he has trying to do. i still remember i was trying to make the frenship between us back again like how it was, not long after we broke up. that was a mistake i make. so now, i'm gonna do that. avoid him at all cause. and put away all the memories we had together. i also decided NOT to look at his frenster account again or have anything to do wif him. for now. i just gotta pray and wait for God to make me forget the feelings i once had for him and den, mayb try to b frens again. i'm very happy that i am starting to thinking reasonably again and not grumbling and whining to God about why my life is liddat. i've learnt to trust in him.

the most impt decision that i have made today, is that i will serve God WHOLEHEARTEDLY. since love hurts, why dun i just give my whole heart to God so it will nvr b hurt again? yes, that's wat i will do. anyway, after so many thigns have happened, i'm too afraid to BE LOVED or TO LOVE again. if you love me, dun tell me. i dun wanna noe cuz i dun wanna hurt anybody anymore. and i will not give my heart to any GUY frm now onwards unless, it is God's will. my heart belongs to my God now. may, God's will for me is to become single that's y i have failde in THREE relationships already. one mayb not considered as a relationship bah. but watever it is, i just wanna trust God cuz he sees the bigger n BETTER picture! just like the jigsaw, he is making my life, piece by piece. and lao da is right. wat's most impt is we learnt frm our mistakes. and i have definitely learnt alot. i thank God for always being wif me and nvr letting me go no matter how many times i've failed him. GOD ROCKS MY LIFE!! x) nobody can ever replace him. **thanks lao da and twinnie! for all that you both have done and said. x)**

so, to conclude, i'm living my life solely for God. if not for him, i wouldnt b here in the first place. frens is all i want now. no more BGR. just GOD, frens and studies. this is the promise i made. x) smile everyone! because GOD HOLDS OUR TOMORROW! xD

haix. it's been some time since i've blogged. ok ok mayb just 2 days. was tired and lazy so din blog. =X haix oh well. just roughly say wat happened today. cuz today i wanna blog bout feelings. wat happened the last two days was history. so no point telling loh. ok so today, went to sch as usual. had lessons and den after sch, me n sy rushed to parkway. do wat, we cant say, if not, no surprise le. so we were late for training! crap. training at 5pm, so late le den we still late. =X felt so bad that i kept apologizing to the coach loh. =X sorry ah clar n ash. =X after training den i rush to G12 le loh. come home, bathe, den now blogging loh.

ok so here goes.. like i said, dis blog will b about my feelings. i dunno where to start or wat to say. i just feel very shi bai. i have failed God once again. i just dunno wat to do anymore. my feelings were quite stabilsed these whole week until TODAY! NOW! WHY?! cuz of some things i shld not have seen and read. some truth i shldnt have known. something that agitated my feelings. SUNDAY marked the end of our relationship as i put all our memories into the box. at least i tot and hope so. but CRAP! ah! it came back! *lao da, i fell into the same trap again! i really tried not to cry le but the tears cant stop flowing out of my eyes! haix. lao da.. help me.. haix* it's so ironic lah! today i just tesified bout me having a spiritual setback but thank God he revived me again. but now? all of a sudden, things have gone back to how they were. i really hate dis. does anybody know why God keeps making me go thru the same trial again and again? i'm getting sick of it! i cant take it anymore! i'm so sorry twinnie. i'm in no position to comfort you right now. all the crap i said to you online. it's actually true but i have not been a good testimony. i have no right to tell you wat u shld do when i myself cant do it! argh! i tot i have really moved on but i havent! i really want to! why do ppl keep saying that i dun wan to? i wan to but i just cant! it's not that i dun help myself. i keep all the memories we had, FAR FAR FAR away frm me. but WHY?! why!! why does the feelings have to come back?!! argh.. dis nite, i have knelt before God and asked for his mercy. i have cried out to him wif a broken heart. i have asked for forgiveness wif sincerity. haixx..

does anybody really know how i feel now? i dun even have anyone to talk to now! i have no guts to tell my sister or my mum. my best fren's away in malaysia. my good good fren is aslp. and i cant talk to twinnie. only reason is becuz just a while ago, i told her that if we turn to God, everything will b ok. but if i called her, she would noe i'm contradicting myself! *if u're reading dis twinnie, i'm sorry. i really am. trust me, when i told u to turn to God and everything will b ok, it's true! it's just that something JUST happened and i fell once again, into the hands of the devil. haix. sorry twin.* it really sux. everything's bottled inside and dere's nobody to lend me their shoulders to cry on or ears to hear me. haix. everything went wrong right from the start! haix. i was the cause of everything and i had been a bad testimony. haix. * lao da, if u've been reading dis, u would have been angry by now. sorry for disappointing you once again. i really really tried my best to control my feelings le. i really did. but i cant. tell me wat i shld do..='( haix. just let me finish wat i havta say ok? and i promised God that dis will b the last time i'm crying over piggy. and like i said, i just needa express myself. i promise you, i'll b ok tmr. pray for me pls. thanks lao da..* mayb u're wondering why m i pushing the blame to myself. to tell you the truth, i have hurt many ppl in my life already, young as i may b. most imptly, i hurt those ard me who love and care for me. they are my frens. thru my ex ex stead, my gd fren, sy, got to noe his gd fren. soon, they stead den later he two-timed her but had no guts to initiate the breakup. later, sy initiated it and he gladly accepted her decision. she was hurt. even tho she din show it, i knew she was. it was my fault, if i hadnt knew him, none of dis would happen. same for my best fren. my ex ex best fren got to noe her thru me. she has been hurt many times by him and she had shed many tears over him. and everytime, i would b dere, to see her cry. it really hurts me to see her liddat. and it's all bcuz of me again. haix. now, thru pigy, sy has gotten to noe his gd fren. he liked her but they shi zong nvr got together cuz now, he likes another girl. she IS hurt, definitely. i noe. even tho she din tell me, frm her actions, i could tell. dis was my fault again. and piggy, even tho he din seem to b affected by our break up, i knew he was alittle hurt. just that he got over it FAST. haix. i have hurt my frens indirectly. haix. in anyway, it was wrong frm the start! i shldnt have gotten a bf in the first place and none of dis would have happened! haix. sometimes, i really hate myself for being so foolish. now i noe, GUYS CAN NEVER BE TRUSTED.

now that things are liddat, i really dunno wat to do. just now, i found out that now, he likes another girl. actually, i already found out bout a week ago. i tot it was nth. but den i saw his n her frenster account. i was really hurt. i dunno how, i dunno WHY, but i just cried! argh. i tried to CONTROL. really. believe me! i did! but it din stop those tears. haix. he actually confessed his feelings to her. haix. he is really unworthy. but come to think of it, actually, i dun deserve to be loved by anyone. look at me! just take a gd look at me! who else but God wants me?! i'm so naive. haix. i really want to meet God soon. the world sux, seriously. i cant wait to go up dere and meet my saviour. in another 6 days, i'll b going for my op. to tell you the truth, sometimes, i really wish that the op will fail and i would get to see my saviour. but then again, i think bout my loved ones here on earth. they will b hurt to see me gone just liddat. and i cant bear to hurt them. i cant bear to hurt anyone again! i guess if that's wat i want, to not hurt anybody, den i myself will get hurt. now, i think lao da's eraser will come in handy. i still remember he once said he wish he could b an eraser and erase my past. now, i really wished he was. i would b happy without my past. why must life b filled wif so much happiness, such order, such beauty, yet at the same time, b filed wif such heartaches and sadness. haix. just me + God. that's all i want. that's all i ever wanted. that's all i will ever want. and heaven's the only place where i can get that.

now, i really wish i can lose my memory. i wanna relive my life once again. haix but i guess it's too late. i shld have treasured it when i have the chance. now, everything's gone. wat i have left is God. and i really really wanna forget piggy. somebody, knock me down wif a car! i wanna forget everything. i wanna move on wif life. i dun wanna have anymore regrets. i dun wanna hurt more ppl in my life. i'm sick of that. sick of hurting those who love and care bout me. i wanna cherish them. i dun ever wanna lose them. and pls, backstabbers and hypocrites, get away frm me. u selfish little people. always and only thinking bout yourself. dun u all ever spare a tots for others? put urselves in their shoes and see how it feels. and GUYS, stop being so full of yourself and start treasuring those around you that REALLY care n love you. *only talking to CERTAIN guys*

one more thing that i've learnt frm all that has happened. that is, God loves me no matter wat. and God loves at the heart but Man looks at the appearance. many a times, we fail God, but God nvr fails us! he will be dere when we need him. and he has nvr let me go before. how stupid i m, to search for sth when it's right before my eyes. all i need is God, noone else. i know i've been a bad testimony but i'm gonna change dis time, for real. i really want to, for God. i've decided that it's time i do sth for God. he has done so much for me but wat have i done for him except whine and grumble bout life. i'm contented that he brought me to this world. he made me realise the meaning of happiness, sadness, loneliness, lost-ness, and everything! without him, dere wouldnt b me! i end this blog wif a song, dedicated to my beloved heavenly father, knowing he cares and will nvr ever leave me. x)

NO GREATER LOVE

Before i knew Your name,
You knew my every breath.
Before i found my way,
You knew my every step.
Before i knew everything that i need,
You gave it all to me

No greater love than this,
That You should lay down Your life
For someone such as me;
I'd spent a life time wondering why.
The beauty of Heaven
Is here in my heart
And i know there can be
No greater love.. than this

I never understood
How merciful love could be
Until i felt His flame,
Light every part of me
And i would give everything that i am
'Cause i have been saved;
Yes! I have been saved!

No greater love than this
That you should lay down Your life
For someone such as me
I'd spent a lifetime wondering why
The beauty of Heaven
Is here in my heart
And i know there can be
No greater love

V I R N I C E
there's no one else like me cause' God made me special. (:
virnice
eighteen
10.09.90
andersonjc
childofGOD
evangelite
dolphins
drummer
RUNNER
HURDLER.

LOVES God; chocoates&icecream; sports; family&frens; sleeping.
DISLIKES smokers; exams; vegetables; cockroaches&lizards!


visitors
with currently viewing.

go around the world.
laptop.
ipod.
grow taller.
grow thinner.
PROMOTE
top 8 for NATS.
improve drumming
sling bag/haversack
ace the As!

.alex
.alsyaari
.andrew
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.austin
.benjamin
.berlin
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.bertrum
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.stephanie
.terence
.thilaiga
.TK+TMS
.tingzhe
.wanyi
.weisheng
.wenyi
.xiangxiang
.xuan
.yin lai
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.zoe
.06/07

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