Tuesday, November 29, 2005
10:29 PM Y
AHHH!!!
♥ just the girl.
haix. feeling very crap right now. cuz of sth that just happened. haix. tell more bout it later. let's just start wif yest.
woo.. so i finally got to train yesterday!! hehe. it was really fun!! the feeling was really nice. to b able to run again. x) did hill runs yest. at temasek sec the hill dere. wah.. it was really tiring for me. but wat can i expect? i havent been training for 3 weeks! haix. i think coach also noe so he asked me to do 2 times only while the rest did 3 or 4 times. sian man. i guess he din wan me to over train myself since it's kinda like the 'first' training for me. so it was quite slack for me. but i guess coach's right. if i did anymore, i would have done. =X but still, i'm the kind of person who will perserve de. hehe. i will push very hard even tho i'm dying. i have alot of determination but it's just my ability problem. but that's not gonna stop me. i just havta train harder and more frequent. i guess coach also noe that's my personality so he din want me to do more den 2 times, afraid i might push too hard and cause injuries. haha. so for now, i'm quite slacky during trainings. but will slowly built up. one thing i'm quite disappointed is that i'm lagging behind my nu-er by so much loh! last time by abit nia. sometimes can run same time as her. but now, everything's back to square one. haix. gotta train step by step again. but i'm not gonna give up! instead i'm gonna train even harder! and train on my own too! jiayou jiayou! xD hehehe. and oh yah. i forgot to mention that i was just as crappy during training! haha. i'm also quite comforted to noe that my peers and juniors were very happy to have me back. x) thanks u all! xD
after training, we had some drinks and talked alittle before me, sy and clar rushed home to bathe. cuz we hadta go to ashley's bbq. it was her bday yest so she din go for training. it was quite sad loh. she got play out by so many ppl. in the end, only 4 ppl turned up. the rest were all her relatives and neighbours. poor thing loh. and many ppl din wanna go cuz they tot justyn going. =X end up, justyn couldnt go cuz he had tuition. den ash was like, 'he shld have told me earlier! den they would have come le. haiya!' =X it was kinda boring also. =X we just ate and ate. it was quite funny lah. the eating part. cuz we were like serving each other like maids liddat. hahaha. after eating den we go watch tv all the way until 10pm den we go home le. =X sad to say, it din seem like it was any party or watsoever. haix. nvm bah. at least she noes she has the trackers behind her! hehe. x)
reach home den i shower again and use the com le loh. it was quite late le lah. 11 plus. den unexpectedly, the vb player came online. haha. havent got him a nick name yet. muz think first. wahaha. den we talk talk talk. all the crappiness and lameness all come up le loh. haha. and if u noe me well, i get very high as it gets later. hahaha. =X wahaha. den he was very sian but dun wan slp yet so ask me play game loh. on msn. everything also thrash me lah. nvr give chance de loh. bully. wahaha. den later he say want play yahoo pool but i no acc mah. so he go play loh. and ask me write testi for him. smart lah he. haha. den i decided to go make a yahoo acc cuz friendster was super lag! sian loh. i wait until sian. surprisingly and thankfully, yahoo not lag den i very fast make acc le. but he insisted i write for him testi first b4 he play wif me. haha. after that, we play le loh. den he thrash me 6-1 ah! sian man. den beofre that we already say loser muz do sth. at least he say loser cannot slp leh! siao one man. hahaha. xP end up, he say i owe him one. so we talk and play, talk and play, den bu zhi bu jie until 3 plus le loh! =X haha. den i gotta go slp le cuz tmr going sentosa den waking up at 8am leh! ohno. haha. oh yah, i forgot to mention that i was talking to adidas online too. he came online quite late. bout 1plus? ard dere i think. he left for bed earlier den me and den ask me give him wake up call cuz he scared he cannot wake up. haha. lame loh. but as u noe, me being nice, i agreed. haha.
so anyway i bid the bully gdnite den went off to slp le. but guess wat? i couldnt slp loh! sian man. just keep tossing and turning on the bed. dunno wat time i fell aslp man. but thank God, dis morning i could wake up! and remembered to give adidas his wake up call. wahaha. had fun at sentosa today! hehe. the fun part was the tanning part bah. cuz i wanted to tan mah! alot of you muz b thinking i siao one rite. so dark le still wan go tan. wahaha. dun care. cuz i 3 weeks nvr go under sun loh! den my tan no more le. so muz go tan back. hehehe. we also got play beach volleyball. wahaha. i'm the one wif the unique serving. hahaha! xP only i serve the ball that way. nobody else does. haha. dun even noe if it's correct tho. haha. muz ask that bully next time. haha. den we cross the bridge to the other side to tan cuz the sun was better dere. hahax. shuang man. but so hot lah! sweating like crazy. haha. den me and twin swim across. wah! i regret ah!! so scary loh! it freaks me out to not noe wat is underneath me. eeeeeww!! yikes!! haha. i was like shouting and whining on my swim dere loh. and keep telling twin to faster faster. buai tahan ah. next time i'm never gonna swim across le loh. ahha. after that, we also went to kayak. but i couldnt tahan also ah! sea sick loh. plus that time OBS i kayak whole island of pulau ubin loh! scared of it liaox. sian. haha. so i was the first one to stop kayaking. den one by one stop. hahaha. after that we went to tan again. wahaha. nice man. hehe.
den later dark clouds started to appear den we faster went to bathe le. it was still quite early loh. when we all finish bathing, only 3 plus nia. so we took bus back to harbour front mrt and waited for 4pm before we ate. all of us were fasting for konquerors. we want it to b a successful one. hehe. xD muz pray for God's wonders. x) so anyway, after eating, me mid and ber went to town cuz mid wanna make an appointment to style her hair before prom nite. we also went to eat abit more dere. ate aunt anne. den took neoprints. shopped alittle. and i bought my monkey pencil box!! hehehe. xD so happy man. have been eyeing on it since dunno when. wahha. monkies madness! wahaha. is the speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil one loh. the monkies so cute! haha. after taking a long time, i decided on the purple instead of the blac. 2 against one mah. haha. i wanted the black cuz was afraid the purple one would get dirty easily. but the purple one was nicer loh. yupx. haha. so anyway, after that we went for prayer meeting le loh. den went home.
on the way home.. that's were everything started.. i was actually feeling quite ok until my sis talked bout the retro christmas mtv thing. i was so pissed man. she dun understand how i feel loh. den just anyhow say me liddat. cuz i told her if can, i dun wanna b in the mtv. den she was quite angry also lah. she say wat we already short of ppl. esp the girls. den if they all also like u den nobody act ah. sth liddat lah. den i was like.... AH!!! inside me already lah. i mean, get those we can dance and LOOK nice on the mtv mah. me??!! u muz b joking lah. the 1800-HEAVEN was a TOTAL DISASTER. it's stuck in everyone's head lah. i suc on video loh. HATE it! and she just dun understand how i feel den liddat say. haix. den on the mrt even worst. we actually sat together one. den later she hadta make some watever phone call, she went to a corner instead. like wat the crap lah. i'm your sister!! haix. ok lah. mayb sometimes i also want my privacy, but dis is abit wat le loh. at least tell me nicely wat. just say i going one side make phone call liddat can le meh? she nvr tot it would hurt my feelings. and i tot our relationship was getting better. my wishful thinking. it's not as if i nvr told her anything. dere's nth to say bout me! at least not now. no more guys in my life! den she? i noe lah. is munky.. that's his nick. cant remember his full name. i really havta say dis. u noe the way she talks to munky is like so so so sweet. on the phone. den i think halfway josh or whoever called den she talk like very rough liddat. like ah lian. i was like, wat the??!! haix. den cuz munky is a korean but born in belgium so he has the slang. and she tries to follow it! like YIKES!!! cant she just be herself? if that munky guy likes her cuz she slangs den like, wat's the point? haix.
den she and bernice everytime leave me out in their little conversation. even on the mrt, on the way to sentosa. i forget to mention that. they two were talking bout munky lah. but made it sound confusing as ever. like wat the crap loh. den i really felt very left out lah. cuz later they both had phone calls. both talking on the phone. den i was like dere alone, like an idiot liddat. haix. i nvr wanna go out wif them anymore. haix. since my presence is hated so much. mayb cuz i dun look as good as them, they tend to leave me out. ok mayb tat's rubbish but watever loh. =X haix.
so back at the mrt, on the way home. when we alighted, i showed her black face all the way loh. couldnt help it lah. =X i already asked God to help me control my anger. haix. den abit better le loh. thank God.
haix. i really dun understand wat she is thinking lah. mayb our sister relationship is meant to stop here. no further. i really dunno howta make dis work lah. we just cant communicate. mayb cuz of our differences bah. haix. i always wanted a older bro who can b my special someone since my sis and i are like so distant. and that someone is the one whom i mentioned in my previous post. that's y i used to have kors last time. we can talk alot one. den if for awhile nvr talk, den we lose contact already. all same. i still remember ho ming kor. it was my best kor ever loh. i still rememeber once when he said he cant b my kor cuz of some reasons i cried loh. tot he wana disown me. haix. but he was pig's gd fren lah. always help us solve prob when we were together. he was one of the few whom i can really talk to and pour my troubles on. but ever since me n pig broke up, we nvr talk le. haix. cuz pig was our connection liddat bah. so anyway, yea, havent found my special someone yet.. x(
and den, more troubles start coming on when i reach home. it's bout the athletics chalet. the commitee has planned dis cuz it was the last yr for our sec4s seniors and we wanted to have a farewell kinda party for them. i was really looking forward to it cuz we also can get to noe each other better, bond together, have fun. but everything turned out so wrong! haix. so many ppl played out on us! and some were sec4s! argh.. everything was actually settled loh. bbq pit was booked, programme was planned adn everything den two sec4s say they cant make it! den another sec1 say cant come. den some last min say cant stay. crap lah. one of the sec4s was my 'mummy' loh. so disappointed in her. somemore we planned dis for them! argh.. crap lah!! i was super angry lah! den sy blamedit on me summore. say i go hange the amt and blah all those crap. den i say her back. =X *sorry sy but i wasnt feeling very gd le loh. haix.* the feeling just sux loh. it's like everything fall back to zero again. all was happy happy den now liddat. wat the crap lah.. my athletics team sux man! all they think is money. too ex den dun wan come. yes, money is impt but cant ur sacrifice but once a year the chalet? it's the only time where we can have fun together as a team and do the crappy things u can imagine! haix. i'm so so disappointed. i'm a lousy captain. cant even manage my team well. wat a crap captain!! ahhhhh!!! haix.
going crazy. the feeling sux. i dun feel like going to the chalet anymore. i just wanna slp and slp and slp and not think bout anything else! haix. *God forgive me. haix* so many things hapened lately. it all comes so fast till i'm at a loss. dun need anybody to rub it in anymore. just wan my special someone to appear now....
