Thursday, November 03, 2005
9:56 PM Y
slacking day..
♥ just the girl.
heyhey. here to blog again. sorry bout yest. was abit emotional but i'm ok now! x) will share wif ya my tots and all later. now gonna tell u wat i did today. was very slacky today. woke up at 12 plus loh. so pig rite! hahax. actually, i kept waking up ah, like hourly. but the time i REALY woke up was at 12 plus. heh. after that, i did my amath hw and watch dvd at the same time. u all muz b thinking i siao rite? hols still do hw. but guess wat? i stil have sch! sian horx. and the hw is due tmr. hahax. woohoo. watch 3 dvds today and i think the best one was THE PRINCE AND ME! the show super nice! it's really like a fairy tale come true. the guy so sweet. plus he so shuai! haha. LUKE MABLY ROCKS! haha. in short, the story is bout dis girl who wanna b a doc but later, she met this guy but din noe he was a prince who would take over the throne one day. when she found out, she had to decide whether to be queen or to continue pursing her medicine studies. in the end, she decided to pursue her doc carrer but still, ended up wif him. woo! haha. nice story. oh yeah. one sentence i liked that she quoted frm the book shakespeare wrote. it goes like dis, " love is blind and when we're blinded by love, it causes us to act unreasonably." haha! true, but nah.. doesnt mean anythign to me anymore. haha. after that, i had dinner and completed my jigsaw puzzle! woohoo! one thousand pieces leh. haha.
i love doing jigsaws! it's like my life. how do i put it? hmm.. it's like God is piecing my life together, slowly but surely! when the jigsaw is incomplete, it's not nice! missing pieces and everything. sometimes, we just cant find the right piece to fit in that particular place and wanna give up. dis can represent the problems we faced in life. many a times we wanna give up. but we must remember that God will bring us thru. and sometimes, we THINK itis the right piece and we keep trying to fit that piece into that particular place. we're so stubborn and foolish to realise that the piece is the wrong one! however, we eventually WILL find that missing or realise that all along, we were holding on to the WRONG piece. but finally, once we finish piecing the puzzle, it becomes a beautiful picture. that is the bigger and better picture that God sees. so we muz trust in Him! x)
now, about my tots. hmm.. i'm ok now. funny isnt it? one moment i can b so sad, and the next, so happy. but that is wat God can do! x) i've tot alot bout it. and i've can say that i've totally given up on him. i remember once when i ask sy wat she will do if she find out that kest doesnt like her le. she told me that she will siam him first den when the feeligns for him gone le den mayb can try being frens again. i guess that's wat i shld do frm the start. and that's wat he has trying to do. i still remember i was trying to make the frenship between us back again like how it was, not long after we broke up. that was a mistake i make. so now, i'm gonna do that. avoid him at all cause. and put away all the memories we had together. i also decided NOT to look at his frenster account again or have anything to do wif him. for now. i just gotta pray and wait for God to make me forget the feelings i once had for him and den, mayb try to b frens again. i'm very happy that i am starting to thinking reasonably again and not grumbling and whining to God about why my life is liddat. i've learnt to trust in him.
the most impt decision that i have made today, is that i will serve God WHOLEHEARTEDLY. since love hurts, why dun i just give my whole heart to God so it will nvr b hurt again? yes, that's wat i will do. anyway, after so many thigns have happened, i'm too afraid to BE LOVED or TO LOVE again. if you love me, dun tell me. i dun wanna noe cuz i dun wanna hurt anybody anymore. and i will not give my heart to any GUY frm now onwards unless, it is God's will. my heart belongs to my God now. may, God's will for me is to become single that's y i have failde in THREE relationships already. one mayb not considered as a relationship bah. but watever it is, i just wanna trust God cuz he sees the bigger n BETTER picture! just like the jigsaw, he is making my life, piece by piece. and lao da is right. wat's most impt is we learnt frm our mistakes. and i have definitely learnt alot. i thank God for always being wif me and nvr letting me go no matter how many times i've failed him. GOD ROCKS MY LIFE!! x) nobody can ever replace him. **thanks lao da and twinnie! for all that you both have done and said. x)**
so, to conclude, i'm living my life solely for God. if not for him, i wouldnt b here in the first place. frens is all i want now. no more BGR. just GOD, frens and studies. this is the promise i made. x) smile everyone! because GOD HOLDS OUR TOMORROW! xD
