a test done by ME.

forced by LEE ANN.

HAHA.

joking. xD

[[3 people you talk to online]]
#1 nel
#2 clar
#3 shuyi?
[[4 people you see in sch]]
#4 clar
#5 shuyi
#6 nik
#7 weiqi
*fact is, i see so many people in sch everyday! xD
[[2 teachers]]
#8 mr rizal
#9 ms ada tan
*and many many teachers too! those two are my favs. xD
[[3 people you love going out wif]]
#10 track peeps
#11 efc peeps
#12 tk peeps
[[3 people in your sms inbox]]
#13 clar
#14 nel
#15 ken
[[wat do you think of #4]]
she rocks! always dere for me. xD as BLUR as me. as BLIND as me. as DEAF as me. HAHA.
and we rock the track and field team!! xD
[[how would you feel if #4 slaps you in the face?]]
hurt. and wonder why did she do that. or wat have i done to deserve that.
[[how would u rate #5]]
rate? as in how much out of 10? hmm. 7.5/10. xD
[[if #8 meets wif an accident, wat would you do?]]
SAD!! the whole track team would b so lifeless! no no no.. sshhh..
[[wat sport would u play wif #12?]]
during pe, we play rounders, netball or captain's ball. HAHA.
[[do you hate #9?]]
no way! she rocks! my fav math teacher! xD
[[will #13 and #7 make a good couple?]]
NO WAY! haha. unless they're les. =X they're good frens lah! xD
[[will #14 kill u one day?]]
'kill'? mayb. haha. if i fall for some unbeliever again. =X HAHA!
[[who do you like more? #3 or #10?]]
#10 of cuz!! #3 is included. xD
[[5 more people to do dis quiz]]
# nel
# jiamin
# bernice
# nic
# basically those who have blogs. xD

ok done. xD dun really feel like blogging the events that took place. i mean not today. LAZY. hehe. xD

sentosa tmr! WHEE..

wah! have been super busy these few days. come to think of it, i cant really remember wat i've been busy-ing about! -_-

hmm.. havent been blogging for more than a week! hmm let's see.. will talk about the events that took place first before saying my tots all that.. x)

sunday was just the service. did i go out after that? hmm.. not sure. =X see i cant remember! STM. wat u expect. HAHA. oh yah! i remember now! me and my family, excluding midori, were at yishun mrt taxi stand, waiting for cab to go home. end up, the queue was so long that we decided to take the mrt instead. den met jiamin jack they all. they were going to northpoint for lunch. i din join them cuz i wanted to go home and slp. HAHA!

hmm monday went shopping!! wif laoda. hehe. it was really freaky. cuz.. guess who i saw at kembangan mrt? i was going up the escalator and when i reached the top.. jiaheng was dere!! looking at me!!

he, pig and jake were sitting at the seat. it's quite a dist frm the escalator. *THANK GOD. and jiaheng was facing the escalator while the other two was facing him. den when i saw him, my eyes open until super BIG! den when he saw my eyes super big, den he himself also open until super big, giving me that cheeky smile he always gives. haha! funny lah he.

i'm not sure the other two saw me but i quickly siam to the other side. took to city hall and alighted to change train. supposed to meet lao da dere too. and guess wat? they walked over to my side! crap loh! haha.

it was so funny cuz i was actually sitting, facing their direction. and when i saw them, i turned 90 degrees to my right. haha! =X and den i could hear pig's voice frm where i was seated. sian.

in fact, i have totally NO idea why i siam frm them. =X i think is cuz i paiseh ba. and also, i'm alone. if i'm wif a fren, mayb i'll wave or smile or sth. but dunno why, i just totally siam frm them. freaky. haha.

oh yah! forgot to say i went for training before meeting up wif lao da. xD

so went to orchard to shop for xmas gifts. it was KINDA fruitful. at least i found sth to buy. haha. and guess wat? i got my guitar lesson time WRONGLY! how blur can i get! argh.. i actually tot it was 7pm. and when i went into the class, the teacher said that the lesson just ended. so crap! i was so paiseh loh. ok. go ahead and LAUGH. x

hmm so tue.. went shopping again!! dis time wif joelle and yireng. xD bought our retro stuff. hehe. den we went to yireng's old hse. and we got to see her wedding photos!! she look simply BEAUTIFUL. xD and den we went to orchard to shop again! xD hehe.

wed. had training. LAST training i mean. x( sad sia. haix. den went to rebond my hair at eelen's auntie hse. i think eelen's cousin was dere. she like very unfriendly. =X when i smile to her, she like pretend nvr see liddat. =X haha. after that, went for cellgroup. and yay! THEY WERE ALL BACK! xD it was home christmas btw. and thank God for GREAT attandance! xD

we had three newcomers and i had to share a testimony about my christian life. i really din noe wat to say cuz dis is my first time giving a testi. but thank God he brought me thru. xD he really did many many amazing things in my life. miracles that can nvr b explained. x) praise the Lord!! xD

i tried on my retro that nite. ber bought frm HK for me. err.. eewww?? yep. that's all i can say. if u wanna see how i look like, go my friendster see. haha. the 80s clothings are so totally ugly! no offence. =X hahax!

thur.. went to buy the materials needed for the christmas presents. and bought a my family members' xmas presents as well. spent quite alot. =X broke dis chrismas!! sian.

den at nite, went to ming tian's hse for rehearsal for the mini drama on retro christmas. i was acting as one of the carollers. haha! xD the skit was so funny loh! jolene and roysten look so sweet together.. awwww.. xD hahax.

fri was the day!! it was RETRO CHRISTMAS!! the only day where you will get to see SO SO SO MANY UGLY people!! =X hahaha! xD i'm so evil! well, i was ugly too ok! xP

reached church at 11 plus that day cuz hadta help wif the making of the props. we did the chicken rice stall. haha. alot of styrofoam and aluminium foil were used. weihoong and dennis were evil enuf to break the styrofoam into smaller pieces and dropped it on mine's and jovin's head while we were wrapping the table wif foil.

so.. it was like snowing lah. on me and jovin. we had foam everywhere! haha. lame loh. but i had loads of fun and laughter even tho is was only a few hours at the B1 carpark. xD den i went to draw the chicken! and hung them! haha. so cute lah. xD

retro ROCKED. yes it did! it was the ugliest day ever! xD i saw ppl wif messy hair. electric guitars. leather jackets. leg warmers. heels. stockings. long curly hair. big fat popped up hair. u name it! xD haha! and of cuz, some spoilers who din dress up at all. HAHA! joking lah. no offence hor. to those who din dress up. hehe. xD PEACE.

our mtv was the coolest loh!! xD tot we would win but reg B got it instead. and our skit was the funniest!! but reg C got it instead cuz it was super touching. i almost cried. =X but God is fair. sengkang g12 won best dressed and reg A won best dressed overall! WOOT! praise the Lord!! xD hehe.

oh yes! i forgot to mention that clar went!! xD hehe. took loads of pictures that nite too. xD *to those who has pics of me, SEND ME!! xD wahaha. and it ended at 11 plus loh! so late! first special event that ended so late. we hadta take cab cuz no more mrt le. thank God clar's mum din scold her. xD

to clar.
heya! thanks for coming to both christmas events of my church!! xD really glad u came. and am very happy u accepted Christ!! xD feel so super duper happy for you. xD dun give up k. i'm sure one day, ur mum will let u come to church, wif me. xD in the meantime, try to persuade her and remember to read the bible i got ya and pray everyday alright? x) anything u dunno, feel free to ask me! xD stay sweet girl! take care n God bless! xD

woot. that was to my nu-er. hehe. PTL ah! xD

hmm sat.. wat did i do.. i cant remember!! i only remember going to mok's hse in the evening. met lao da and jiamin at heartland mall. went to the christian shop to get a bible for my nu-er. xD and bought a gift for auntie candy. she was so sweet to give me one for christmas. *xie xie ni auntie! xD*

den wanted to go bata and disturb kenneth cuz heard he was working there but den think he left le or sth liddat. haha. so we left for weihoong's hse also. haha. dere was quite a number of ppl dere le when we reached. hehe. xD

kinda know quite a few ppl today. as in know them a little better. actually three only lah. vincent. ken. daniel. haha. din noe vincent is so lame loh. the other way round also. he din noe i'm that crappy either. haha! xD he was quite shock at my crappiness. like always saying and going against him. haha! xD

den ken! my BBQ companion!! haha. he very blur and cute leh. but so poor thing liddat. like always alone. haha. but nvm! we two were the only ones bbqing and we entertained each other. haha! xD woo.. bbq rocks! xD love to bbq. whee! lalala.. xD

and daniel! my zhu ren! u can read it as pig person or master horx. haha! he my master lah. cuz he say i look like maid. so evil hor! just cuz i'm dark. hmph. RACIST. haha! xP but nvm! i ill treat him also! hahaha! make him do things for me. haha! xP bleah bleah..

overall, i had fun!! xD esp when playing wi fthe sparklers! woot! xD i brought them! haha. we lit them up and counted to three before we all threw them into the air altogether. it was so pretty! wat a beautiful sight! REALLY! it looked like shooting stars / falling stars. NICE. xD took photos too. hehe. xD

reached home at 12 plus close to 1. sent lots of christmas msges and received loads too. haha. got a complain frm matt saying it's unfair that he received his xmas msg later than pig. haha! too bad lah. cuz i go by alphabetical order and pig's name came before matt. haha. zhang worst loh. LAST. haha! =X i had a LATE nite that nite. haha.

it's 25 dec! MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!! xD

it was christmas at church. and i brought clar and weiqi along. hehe. thank God. xD

the message was great. REVIVING. it was about our lives. wat are we driven by? wat is the purpose of our lives? why on EARTH are we here?

God made us so he could love us. xD

that sentence rocks! xD so sweet.

after that, it was the giving of presents! woot! haha. i was super busy! giving and receiving gifts at the same time. woosh.. after that, we all went out. went to ps for lunch. and some went to shop. while i was trying to catch some rest on the chair. haha!

after that, we went to lido to check out the movie times for narnia. bought the tickets dne me and my sis went to have our christmas dinner wif our family excluding our dad cuz he's overseas. x *where's "i'll b home for christmas"? haix.* ate at swensen btw. den we headed to lido for narnia.

the show is not bad. just abit too magical. but anyway, it was written by C.S Lewis. a christian. and it was only anne told me that the lion represent jesus den i realised. cuz the lion died for the sins of edmund. and den he rose to life again, didnt he? just live how jesus came and died on the cross for our sins. and three days later, he rose again. x) i guess C.S Lewis was just trying to show that. xD

after the show, we had to take a cab home cuz it was quite late already.

so.. that's about all the activities i had till christmas. really busy and tired. seems like i had sth on everyday. and cuz i hadta make the xmas presents, i slpt at 2-3 plus every nite. and wake up early summore. it was really tiring. i felt so lethargic everytime. but thank God! i can slowly try to get back my slp le. woot. xD

and that is also why i havent been blogging. sorry peeps. din noe i had so many faithful readers. hehe. thanks u all! xD i'm BACK!

hmm.. i've given up. dunno how he found out. think he did. acting cold towards me? CMI.

but dun care. xD

and i realised i'm happier dese few days. xD

josh noticed it too. xD hehe.

i'm glad i am.

and i wanna spread the joy to ppl around me. xD

wat pastor marion said it true. when u're depressed, u pass the sadness to ppl around u too.

so.. SMILE!

and spread the JOY! xD

God loves you and me!

have faith in Him for He has the best plans for ya! xD

i guess yep. it's a new beginning. not only for nelvin, but for me too. x)

these few days.. i wouldnt say it's bad. just MESSY. LOST. CONFUSED. but i found God's love at the end of the day. x)

it's gonna b a super long post. hehehe. xD

well. they're back! wif GIFTS! hehe. just today. and kyna lost so much weight! poor girl. had food poisoning in HK. and OHH NO! she's like made of bones ONLY. poor girl. miss them loads. even tho the hse was quieter, more peaceful, nth beats having them at home. xD

so anyway. wednesday was nth but packing. clearing. shifting. moving. whoosh.. DONE! well.. almost. hehe. den went to g12 in the evening and guess wat?! only me and yireng!! how bad can it get? 5 went overseas and GREAT. alvin had OT.

well i guess there are it's advantages too. it felt weird tho. the worship. prayer. and esp, the SHARING. so awkward! haha. she taught me only. but nevertheless, the sharing was great! touched my heart. changed me. x)

best of all, me and yireng got to share some stuff bout overselves! hehe. ssshhhh.. dun tell you all! wahaha. glad we talked. and it felt good. hehe. xD

woke up at 7.30am on thurs cuz had training. it was tiring! did reptitions. and i would say my track team wasnt in top form that day. everyone kinda did quite badly. nevertheless, thank God we all completed the workout! praise God! xD

after training, i made my way to SENTOSA! woot! xD i was LATE. SUPER LATE! =X

so, i volunteered to buy lunch. so nice of me. wahaha. joking! xP bought drinks too. it was HEAVY. and i carried it all by MYSELF to sentosa. praise God i made it dere ALIVE! HAHA! xD wat u expect. i'm a strong girl ok.. hehe.

but something happened on the way dere. way before i bought the food and drinks. something that left me thinking all the way. something that struck me dere and den. something i nvr wanted it to happen.

he knows. he's irritated. he din go.

but know wat? i'm over it. x)

and so, i brought the food dere. DENNIS. MOK. JACK. was dere to 'welcome' me! HAHA! or rather, to help me carry the food and stuff. i was bout to die when God sent help! haha. i bought chicken rice, wanton mee, carrot cake, 4 bottle of drinks and some chips. and they all ate like some hungry animals!! =X OPPS! hehe.

rina. jiamin. eelen. akkim. was dere. under the shade. haha. glad they were enjoying themselves and thank God the food was kinda enuf. haha. xD

we played beach volleyball. and they went kayaking while i stayed on shore. i know i abit sao xin but i really din wanna kayak. *sorry you guys. =X* that time OBS kayak until sian liaox. actually not sian. is SCARED liaox. tiring loh. and dun really like the deep waters. =X cant stand the feeling of not knowing wat's under me. hahax.

so anyway, jack came back frm kayaking earlier then the rest cuz they went to the other side. and we talked abit. he was like, no offence but who u like. den i was like,

"i'm a SMALL girl wif a BIG heart."

hehe. that's my fav sentence now. wahaha. so anyway, before i could answer him, the rest came back. i could tell he had assumptions already.

den back on shore, me, jack and dennis went to swim at the resort's swimming pool while the rest stayed behind. at the pool, jack and dennis played water polo while i watched. haha. den i joined in but we just passed the ball. they taught me. jack esp. think they teach until wanna blow liao cuz i just cant get it right! haha! =X my hand no strength mah. haha.

den when we went back down, guess wat? jiamin became a MERMAID!! HAHA! oops. hehe. mok dug a hole. a DEEP one. and jiamin went in! half of her body was left above the ground. haha! they covered her wif sand and drew the mermaid tail and scales. so funny! so CUTE! hehe. i used my phone and took pic. sad that nobody bought a cam. x( oh well.. xD

we continued to play beach volleyball after that. actually, the 'we' is only me, mok, jack and dennis. akkim was just sitting by the side while the other three girls just sat on a big rock nearby.

frankly, i felt a litte left out. =X i tot of leaving the volleyball game and join them but, i know i'll feel extra. =X as in, mayb they're talking bout a certain topic which i dunno. so i chose not to go. played on instead. me and dennis one team. against mok and jack.

well, we lost! hahax. score was 25-22. so close! but it was fun. i had fun. and i learnt much. about how to play volley ball.i just dunno howta set the ball! haha. SAD. jack is good loh. surprised he isnt in the volleyball team. so anyway, dennis was dying! cuz he was so so so hungry! poor thing! haha! xP

we went the the resort toilet to shower. while the rest went to shower first, me, jiamin, dennis, mok and jack swam in the pool first. and the three guys were showing off stuns! haha. like running straight into the pool. hmm wat else? just lame stuns! hahax.

and den dere was dis little boy. he's so CUTE! haha! he was so fascinated by the three guys stuns that he came over and talked to us. his name is darren. and he has a sister too. who was beside him and her name is crystal.

he's really very CUTE! i mean it! haha. xD

he was holding a gameboy in his hand and it kinda seemed like a camera. so i joked and asked him to take a pic of jiamin and me and guess wat he did?? he put down his gameboy, made two circles around his eyes wif his fingers and went, 'chik-chik! (the sound a camera makes)' HAHA! so cute rite! wahaha. mayb not cute to you, but nvm! he's cute to me! hehe.

and den i asked him how old he was and he was like, "i'm seven years old." but wif his fingers showing the number 8! haha! so cute! xD

he talked bout his sister too. saying she likes to fight and that he always wins. and the sister gave "you qian bian ah" face. haha! both of them so cute! xD and den later, i forgot wat me and jiamin said or asked but guess wat he said?

"i like pretty girls too."

hahaha! cute rite! so young loh. hehe.

after that, we all went to shower le loh. the three girls came out looking great. skirts, razor back, shorts jeans, nice clothes, well dressed. me? like a boy. =X haha. just shirt and shorts. i felt extra. seriously. like how can i b conpared to them. look at them and look at me. haha!

i tot to myself, i shld dress nicer next time. but den again, that wouldnt b me! sometimes, i really dun understrand myself. dun understand why i try to fit in when i dun. dun understand the things i do. den i remember the show, 'wat a girl wants'.

i remember that cute oliver james told pretty amanda bynes, "i dun understand. why do you try to fit in when u're born to stand out?"

ok, mayb i'm not born to stand out, but i noe i'm born NOT to fit in. so why do i even try? i've given much tots and come to the conclusion that, i'm happy wif the way i am. why do i try to change, just to fit in?

woot. that woke me up. no more trying to be someone else. i need to b myself. xD really thank God for speaking to my heart. x)

so anyway, once we're all done, we gathered at a small table. den the small boy appeared again! me and jiamin told the rest bout wat he said bout liking pretty girls. den eelen asked him, "do you think i'm pretty?" hahax.

den he looked around. pointed at ME. and guess wat he said?

"i think she's pretty!" he said.

i couldnt believe my ears. seriously. call me BHB or watever. i dunno. but my first reaction to him was, "you're joking rite?" but he din say anything and walked towards his sister.

at first when he pointed at me, i tot he was gonna say, "she's ugly!" but his words stunned me dere and den. =X

i felt insulted actually. =X but it dawned on me that KIDS nvr lie. they're so innocent. haix. i think God is trying to speak to me cuz.. cuz.. cuz.. NVM. i'm BHB. sigh.

so anyway, we made our way to habour front the hawker centre dere and eat. i sat at the same table as jack, akkim and dennis cuz the other table no space liaox. had wanton mee and carrot cake. AGAIN. haha. din eat much during lunch mah. haha.

while akkim went to other table to talk and dennis went to get second round, jack asked me the same question again, saying i havent answered him.

"i left everything at sentosa."

that was wat i told him. haha. in actual facts, at sentosa, i shoved away a layer of sand, wrote down the things i wanna forgot and dun wanna think about when i go back to mainland, and covered it wif sand again. stupid rite? but it's ok. at least i know it worked for me. i did leave it all dere. wat i'm saying is, i left it all in the hands of God. xD

woo.. feel happy and free again.. xD

CHOCOLATES! make ppl happy! it does! xD

and HE told me HIS story. on the MRT. i was touched. enlightened. and i salute him. xD pei fu ta. nvr met anyone like him. i tot those ppl only existed in stories and movies.

he is so wei da. his love towards someone is so sacrificial. of cuz, dere is no greater love than God's love. xD but still, i was really touched by his story. and i thank God for him. he has taught me much. really. he showed me wat love was really all about. mayb u think wat i'm saying is crap. but watever. at least i think he did. x)

i wanna walk in HIS footsteps. as in treat love the way he does. loving someone is letting him/her be happy even tho u cant have him/her. and even tho he/she is wif someone else, encourage him/her, wish him/her all the best. most imptly, be HAPPY for him/her.

mayb, as teenagers, we have no rights to say wat love is all about and all that stuff bout love. mayb u think wat i'm saying is crap. but i think that's true. at least for me. most imptly, we shld seek and pray to God bout it. x)

but anyway, dun get it wrong. i do not like anyone now. SERIOUSLY. not joking. left it all at sentosa remembeR? hehe. xD

so well, i've learnt much. and these few days, i've also learnt NOT to judge ppl. we dun have any right to judge. only God has. x)

woot. had training again today. xD hehe. i'm training madly! and recently, pooh madness! xD hehe. i'm all about pooH! whhee! xD

lao da smsed me at bout noon and i was shocked at the content of his msg. but will just continue to pray for him. look at it as a new beginning alright? x) hope he felt better after bowling and is feeling even better now. x)

training was at 2.30pm. the sun was scorching hot. the stadium seemed like a desert to all of us. haha! okok mayb i'm exaggerating but it was a little bit lah! cuz the sun so hot and there was sand all over the seats dere! dunno why also. haha.

gerald was full of crap as usual. fell on his butt. haha! =X and both of us did hurdles today! woot. gave him some tips on hurdling as it was his first time. hehe. xD and den we did FOUR hurdles! not short distance loh. 200m leh! it was a killer! =X dying.. and worst of all, the heat was intense!

so.. rushed home and den went for hof. msg was ok. but altar call was reviving. felt convicted. and i'm glad i felt a change in me. GREAT. xD

it was extremely noisy on the shuttle bus today. well. beats being quiet.. they were communicating in TAMIL. funny. hahax.

when the bus was on it's way to tamp, left me, joelle, yireng, alvin and a NEW guy. it was walter's classmate i heard. =X

we were arguing who to break the ice. and yireng pointed at me. so did alvin. -_- giving the reason, "you're YOUNG and AVAILABLE."

wah. haha. SABO loh! but in the end, yireng plucked up her courage and talked to him. introduced us to him and den continue to talk to him.

curious as i am, i asked alvin wat his name was. and he mouthed it out. it LOOKED like 'herbie' and thinking that it was IMPOSSIBLE for a guy to b called that, i shouted out, "HERBIE?!"

and CRAP. i DIED.

alvin was showing signs that meant 'OH CRAP!' 'DEAD!'

AHH!!!! so paiseh loh!! his name was kerbie. *not sure of the spelling. and i just shouted out 'herbie' so loud!! and alvin said he turned around loh. AHH!!! wo mei you lian jian ta le. =X

and den, it started. ahhh!! they teased me bout kerbie!! saying wat we're compatible and all.. ahh!! no way!! but anyway, i think he has a gf. wahaha. but ahh!! no way no way no way!! i hardly even noe that guy!! ahhhh!!

and know wat? yireng invited him to come for home christmas as his hse was quite near yireng's hse. and she asked me to meet him at her hse bus stop and bring him to her hse if she cant make it.. AHHH!! SABO!!! it's gonna b so awkward loh. no way. she's joking.. i know..

and den the teasing continues.. she said he studies at yiochukang and that i go dere for training. wah.. very gd. -_- so i was asking where. and she said NYP. my jaw dropped. WAT??!! i practically RUN dere!! crap crap. GREAT. that gave them more things to tease me about.

BOOHOO!

alvin and yireng, SPARE ME!! =X

i'm not angry or pissed or anything. just AAHHHH...

so well. here i am. at home. blogging. and guess wat? dennis lost my hairband. how NICE. and it felt so weird training without my hairband today. oh well.. clips will do. HAHA.

deck the halls tmr! hehe. my sisters performing.. wahaha..

it will b a success. xD

for little ones are precious in God's eyes.

whheee.. xD

it really is a NEW BEGINNING.

for me and LAO DA.

and once again,

i'm a SMALL girl wif a BIG heart.

HAHA

but without God,

i'm NOTHING.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

God is wif us, always...

wah. these few days hor, my Short Term Memory getting worst leh. sian! relly cant remember where i placed my stuff, the things i said or the thigns i JUST did! not joking. i'm serious! sian loh. ahh..

so hmm.. it's been 2 days since my sisters and dad have gone to HK. woo. peace in the hse. but, it's not the same loh. still, there are gd points bout it. hehe. like, we can pack the hse in peace! xD

that's wat i did today. together wif remy. x) we packed the hse. so tiring! we did ALOT of shifting of furniture. and lots of throwing and packing. tiring loh! but.. woo.. the hse has a new image! haha. or rather, the ROOMS have new images. whee.

guess why i packed? cuz i need space for my drums! hehe. really thank God loh. even tho my dad disagreed about getting me a drum set cuz he felt that i shld learn the guitar well first, my mum agreed! really thank God. xD

she very teng wo leh. so i cant let her down. hehe. xD and so far, i havent! and i wun! cuz today, i received a letter! woo! a GREAT letter! hahax. i got the EAGLES award! praise God!! xD and my mum's very proud of me. hehe. glad i made her happy. x)

so hmm.. i'll b slping back in my own room once my sisters are back. that'll b 3 more days. hahaha. midori smsed me today. frm the tone of the sms, i think they're enjoying themselves bah. hope they dun forget to buy stuff for me. wahahaha! xP

oh yes! coach called me today. to tell me that he cant make it for training tmr and has to change it to thur morning at 8.30am at tamp stadium.

crap cuz i was supposed to go sentosa wif jiamin dennis they all! x( i'll still b going but i'll b late. training at TAMPINES leh! reach dere noon le loh. missed out all the fun. x( sian loh. but i'll b getting them lunch. da bao. hahax. cuz anyway, sentosa the food dere so ex. wahaha. x)

oh yes! watched a jap volleyball show today. on channel 56. cool man! the way they smack the ball. woot. xD the show not bad loh. and one girl the name same as my sis! midori!! hahax.

and the next episode hor, that main character got prob wif her leg. think the calf dere. den went for X-ray. den dunno found out wat. den she cant play volleyball anymore!! so sad.

that really scares me loh. wat if.. wat if.. wat if one day i cant run or hurdle anymore??!! i cry until like siao loh. =X really scared of my ankle. it's quite swollen but i always overlook it and just go run. haix. God have mercy!! =X

oh well..

sian. dunno wat else to say. wahaha

gonna continue packing tmr. =S

it's throwing and throwing.

cleaning and cleaning.

SIAN.

i'm myself only in front of you.

crap.

i did it again!!

ahhh!!

nonono. dun angry!! =X

haix.

hate dis.

whywhywhy.

i'm tired.

God help me!

to have faith in you.

have mercy.

John 3 : 16
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have eternal life. x)

God loves YOU!

to lao da.
happy birthday to you. happy birthday to you. happy birthday to lao da. happy birthday to YOU!
hehe. hope u like the cake and present! xD and i know u had a super duper SWEET birthday lunch yea! wahaha. and thanks for the dinner. x) haha. all the best! xD

so.. as u can, today is my lao da birthday! haha. missed his bday celebration yest cuz had a family dinner. so made it up to him today by having dinner wif him and nicholas. also gave him a cake and a card. hehe. xD

saw kathy at bugis today! xD she was wif her bf. so sweet. and i actually tot she was still single. hehe. but praise God! xD they look so sweet together. hahax. God bless them! x)

and also saw auntie sindy today. x)

yepx. and my sisters and dad flew off today. and guess wat? i couldnt wake up in time to send them!! =X so useless lah me. haiyo. now i'm gonna mayb miss them for 5 days. oh well. time FLIES so fast that they'll b back in no time. wahaha.

well, looking on the brighter side, i'll get to spend more time wif my mum! just me and my mum! how nice is that. hehe. but she gotta work. so probably spend time wif her at nite. =

she has like so many problems and sometimes, i just feel so helpless. not only her boss is giving her probs, i think dis family is also giving her. she may seem so happy on the outside, but i noe, deep within her she's not. she's hurt. she's stress. she's tired. haix. i cant do anything but pray.

my dad.. has really backslided. my mum told me that dis morning when she said she wanted to pray for them before they left, my dad was like, "you all pray." haix. wat happened to him? he dun even wanna go church. hurts me to see him liddat. but i cant seem to talk to him. moreover, he's in HK now. i can only pray.

seeing my parents liddat, i feel so helpless. i wanna lighten their family burden that's y i have to go JC! and do well in the Track and Field Championships! i dun wanna let them down. my mum says i''m her only hope. mayb bcuz my other three sisters are not doing as well in their studies. and den i did quite badly for my final yr exams. i felt so bad. i want to make it up to her.

thankfully, i got the Merit Bursary Award. even tho it's not say very gd, i noe i made my mum proud of me. thank and praise God! x) and guess wat, i'm eligible to apply for it! i think.. u can guess why i am eligible to apply for it bah. =X will b going for the ceremony soon.

anyway, i know next yr's gonna b a tougher yr for me. cuz i have my Os and also, i stress that i muz do well and not let my mum down. but i noe, God will b wif me! xD i'll just continue to pray for this family.

THE POWER OF PRAYER! hehe. xD

so.. had training today! it was ok but i almost walked when we were running the 3km! =X but i told myself, since i chose training instead of HK, i better train well! if not, it's so wasted loh.

when running, i also prayed that God will give me strength and the stamina to finish it and praise the Lord! i finished it without stopping! xD even tho i wanted to stop and walk many times and even tho i wasnt feeling too good cuz was still a little sick but thank God i din and completed it! xD

yep yep yep. haha. after training, went to bedok wif clar. just did abit of shopping and TALKING. felt better after telling her my tots. x) and i'm glad she's becoming more christiany! hehe. will b bringing her to church on retro christmas and on christmas day itself. x) thank God! finally, she's coming! whee. hehe.

to clar.
thanks for hearing me out! and thanks for being dere for me and listening to my crap during training. hehe. xD dun worry k. just tell HIM! scold HIM! ask HIM! and if the truth isnt wat u really want to hear, i'm always here. x) my hotline is 24-hrs! call me when u need me alright? xD and i'm so happy that u're coming my church soon! look forward to see you accepting Christ. hehe. xD train hard ok! we'll bring tk athletics to higher grounds! woot! xD jiayou jiayou!

haha. that was to my daughter. wahaha. we had so much to share just now. and she gave me her opinions and advices. and i gave her mine too. hehe. so.. that's about today. i guess.

nope. i dun wanna sink deeper into IT!

somebody pull me out! =X

not AGAIN.

why wun those feelings go away!

not a substitute i'm sure!

haix.

i need to run..

and run..

and run..

to God!

he will take control of the situation. x)

it's been two days..

since.. since..

nothing.

God loves you!

argh.. i actually wrote dis post liaox but den my connection had prob and everything was gone! just liddat. sian. haix. nvm. write again loh.

so sad ah. ber go hongkong le. x( den tmr my three sisters and my dad are going dere too. i heard they're going disneyland together. hahax. but sad. i'm ALONE. x( dun wanna go lah. cuz dun wanna miss training. =X stupid reason rite. but i dun wanna ban tu er fei! hehe.

and even tho i was quite happy that it was gonna b peaceful at home, i noe things will not b the same when they're not ard. x( oh well. it's only for five days. x) that's a brighter side to look on i guess. just hope they wun extend their stay dere. =X

well, no ber. no mid. but i have dennis! hehe. he so cute lah. i put that as my sub nick den he say dere's him. thanks dennis. u can b my kai xin guo. hehe. xD dun wan lah. later SHE jealous. =X hehe. no lah. frens nia ok.. xD

anyway, i stil have jiamin! my hubby! xD hehe. and my lao da! xD and many more. i need u guys most during this period of time k. xD thanks u all! xD

so anyway, talked to weisheng yest. cant believe he would still post that on my tagboard! haix.

to weisheng.

hey. everybody said that in a moment of anger, including urself. so why say such stuff? ok ok. everything's my fault alright? let the past be the past. and FORGET the past k. FORGIVE and FORGET. that's wat we all shld do now.

after wat u said to me at CG, i tot u ok liaox. why post that? i think this shld come to an end already can? in the first place, none of this concerns you also. it's between me and jovin. even tho now i still feel awkward seeing her, i'm trying my best already! i just need time k.

and weisheng, u need to noe that i can confide in certain ppl only. not all. and sorry to say, i cant confide in you or jovin. sorry. i only treat both of u as my frens now ok? i hope you'll have forgiveness in ur heart. and not talk about dis anymore or hold any grudges. May God richly bless you.

haix.

i found out a truth yest. that was the root of the problem. but.. haix. i wun mention it or i will make things worst.

to all.
i'm sorry for causing so much trouble. but, i really hope there'll b no unforgiveness anywhere in ur hearts or i'll feel really bad. i nvr wanted to hurt anybody. and that's why i use nick names to represent ppl. i nvr tot it was easy to guess who. but i was wrong. and i'm sorry.

all i wanted was to express myself. cuz nobody understands. except God. i hope this misunderstanding or watever u call this, will come to an end. i really dun wish to talk bout it anymore. things may or may not go back to the way it was but time will tell. give me some time.

and actually, i'm kinda glad dis thing happened. of cuz not glad cuz it got so bad. but glad cuz i found out who my true frens really were. i was wrong bout my efc frens. i'm sorry. =X they were dere when i needed them. to encourage me and give me advices. and most imptly, to lend me a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. thank God for all of you! x)

it's my fault for not opening up. i admit. so sorry. i'll try to change k. like i said, time is all i need. x)

sorry again for everything that has happened. just dun talk bout it anymore ok. i'm sure God has better things installed ahead for us! xD God bless all of you!

so yep. that's all i havta say.

oh yes. had a family dinner today. that's y miss lao da de bday celebration! *sorry lao da! =X hope u like the present!xD* we ate at sakae sushi! hehe. den did a litte shopping. hahax. bought a shirt and shorts at S and K. hehe. xD

midori shopped the most today loh. den tmr going hongkong, shop summore. aiyo. haha. hmm reach home den i peng sang liaox. just plopped on the bed and fell aslp. =X woke up at ard 10plus. hahax. den blog le loh.

anyway, dunno wat happened to my dad leh. today dun wanna go church. haix. FYI, he just came back frm pakinstan bout 2 days ago. he's currently working under the UN that's y he's hardly home. he flew back 2 days ago so that he can bring my sisters to hongkong for a holiday tmr. haix. he backslide le. muz continue to pray for him.

hmm other den that, i think today was a quite okay day loh. as usual. God has blessed my day. xD

ah hah. someone nvr go church today. shld i b sad? haha. nvm bah. just continue to pray for that person.

ahh! HE likes HER?! muz be! shld b! SHE likes HIM too! i think.

ahahaha.

dunno wat i'm feeling right now. happy for them or sad? wahaha.

those irritating feelings just wun go away.

but wif prayer and wif time, i'm hope it will. x)

at least i noe God will help me. xD

just wanna keep running..

and running..

and running...

or time will just stop at THAT moment.

my wishful thinking. hahaha.

oh well, God is in control! xD

so alone dis week. but i'll get thru! wif God. x)

sending my sisters and dad off tmr. and ONLY me. sad moment? mayb. but five days only! hehe.

sentosa on thursday. woot! xD

oh yes. wondering why i'm writing liddat? cuz ppl complain that my blog very difficult to read cuz too many words! hehe. hope dis is easier for all of you. God bless you! xD

ok. here's where my blogging begins.

so.. hmm.. everything has been so hectic lately. misunderstandings and problems and complications for me. even tho these few days were one of the most miserable days of my life, it is only then, that i found out who my true frens really were.

these few days i cried alot too. the amount of tears.. i dunno. wat i noe is, at the alter calls on the second day of the youth conference, konquerors, i literally couldnt cry. seriously. i could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit and i wanted to cry. but there were no tears left. frm wat i noe, tears are water that are within ur body. and i havent been drinking much water lately. =X i mean i did lah. during training. but i guess it all came out as sweat. hehe. so yupx..

oh yes, did i mention that i TOTALLY lost my voice?! so crap. cry too much bah. hahax. now everybody's laughing. my throat's so dry. crap. and training was torturous for me cuz i couldnt bear to let the coach down. i ran 3km today. and almost died. almost vomitted 4 times. =X and did some strides and sprints. oh well, thank God i'm alright. hehe. xD

and i just checked my weight! i lost 2kg!! can u believe it!! hahax. just two days of crying and not eating much and i lost 2kg!! woohoo! praise God! hehehe. =X i'm crazy. dun mind me. wahaha..

and so, the story begins.....

it all happened on a wed nite........

actually.. i have no intention of saying wat sad things have happened. why look on the dark side when u can look on the bright side? xD hehe.

or u can just say i'm lazy to type. xP

oh well. so here it is. just when everything looked as bad as it was, things started to change for the better. hehe. it was then that the efc peeps proved me wrong. they actually do care. and i actually tot nobody knew my existence and that nobody cares. *sorry u guys. =x* but all along, it has been my fault. somebody told me that if i'm willing to open up and talk to the people around me, den i wun feel that way. but that's my prob. isolate myself. but for a reason. a stupid but cant help it one. dun ask cuz i'll nvr say. wahahaha.. xP

anyway, yep. it was on the bus when they proved me wrong. i was crying on the bus loh. den they were very concerned. u can see wat they did by the dedications below. and i'm really thankful. i felt really loved. and i cant remember who patted me on my head, but somehow, felt secured at that point of time. it gave me the feeling that i'm being protected loh. like i have nth to worry about. hehe. xD weird huh.. but that's me! xD

woo.. the prob between me and my sis was settled on that very nite. praise God! ultimately, all glory goes to God and God alone. xD and i really thank God for giving me frens like jiamin, nelvin, dennis, wei hoong, rina, bernice, kenneth, nicholas and many more! sorry if i had missed u out. =X so anyway, yupx. thank God for them. xD

wow. i tot this blog was gonna b long but turned out to b ok cuz i din blogged bout wat really happened. but nvm. let bygones be bygones bah. hehe. xD

oh yes, just to clarify, during dis whole period of time, i was SAD. not ANGRY. in fact, i wasnt angry at all. so yep, i'm cool. wahaha. xD

ok here's sth new. on the shuttle bus just now, alot of thoughts went thru my mind. i din exactly noe wat i was thinking anymore. den a question popped into my mind. i was thinking of the book that i had finished reading some time ago : boy meets girl. and the author mentioned that God made GUYS to b the initiators. so wat shld a girl do if she likes a guy? hahax. that was the question that came to my mind.

actually, my feelings are quite messy right now. i dunno if i like someone. but frankly, i dun wan to! because, i'm 15!! and i've gone thru so much. in the bus, i was actually trying to make those feelings disappear. or even pretend they dun even exist. wo zai ya ying zi ji de gan qing. i also dunno wat else to do anymore. but one thing i'm sure is that i gave my heart to God. and i have told him to decide whom to share it wif. so.. i will just pray bout it. hope it goes away.. =S

so anyway, just wanted to say that blogs are meant for people to express their thoughts and feelings. and also talk bout their day. and everything. ppl who read it shld not make hurting comments unless that person discriminate another person or say sth bad about others or things liddat. other than that, i dun think those who read it shld make hurting comments loh. and ther person who blogs has the right to say how he or she feels and their thoughts. so yupx. that's all i havta say.. xD

ok. here's where it ends. to those who are facing trials right now, have faith! for God will bring u thru! just like how he brought me thru. even tho it seems like all the problems come at one go, GOD IS ALWAYS WIF YOU. God bless! xD

hey. gonna do a little dedication here first. so here goes..

to jovin.
sorry but i dun think we can b twins anymore. wo dang tang bu qi, to b called ur twin. mayb we're similiar in some ways, but definitely not everything. sorry to say but i just cant confide in you. and things CANNOT go back to how it was before. things will nvr b the same again. i can only say... i only treat u as my fren now. and pls noe that i'm not angry wif you. anyway, thanks for all the times we had last time. May God richly bless you. x)

to lao da.
thanks for being dere for me all dis while. i was going thru a really tough time but thanks. thanks for standing up for me. thanks for everything. xD i really appreciate it. anyway, just wanna wish u all the best wif ur darling. hehe. continue to seek for God's direction yea. and muz control ur anger! hehe. thanks again! God bless you lao da! xD

to bernice.
sorry for getting u involved in the prob between me and my sis. but i just wanna say thanks. x) thanks for being such a great fren. i noe it muz b tough on you cuz havta hear both sides. oh well, u noe wat i mean. =X sorry i got u scolded for nth too. anyway, just thanks a million! xD and i have no comments bout that useless guy. =X oopps. hehe. continue to grow in the Lord k. God bless ya! xD

to jiaminHUBBY.
sorry for getting u involved too. but u my hubby mah, so wat to do? hehe. but anyway, i'm really sorry that i put u in a difficult spot. but really, thanks. really dunno how things will turn out without u. thanks for all those advices u gave on the bus. thanks for listening. and thanks for jsut being dere. all in all, thanks hubby! xD conitnue to seek God alright? love ya! hehe. xD

to mokkie.
thanks also. xD u and jiamin have been a great help to me and my sis. thanks for helping me sort my thoughts out and stuff. and u noe.. telling me sensable things. hahax. =X i guess all i wanna say is all the best! xD God bless u too!

to nicholas.
thanks for adding on to jiamin's advices on the bus. hahax. and assuring me that everything will turn out fine. thanks cuz it did. xD hehe. and dun b so stress bout ur job. pray hard! continue to grow in the Lord k. God bless!

to dennis.
of cuz! how can i forget my tissue provider and music provider!! hehe. thanks man. xD hehe. so cute lah u. running up and down the bus provding tissue for me n my sis and wiping our tears away. haha! u rock lah! xD hehehe. all the best wif ur TIGGER ok. nice drawing anyway. xD hope she likes it horx. wahaha. God bless you and HER! xD

to rina.
thanks for cheering me up! xD chocolates sure does make a person feel happier. hehe. u noe horx, last nite after u sent me that msg her, den i really go eat chocolate leh! my dinner. =X hehe. thanks for being such a great fren! hope to noe u better. xD God bless!

to kenneth.
thanks for standing up for me. one stone kill two birds rite! =X hahaha. and thanks for hearing me out and giving me advice. and horx, the reason for isolating myself is stupid rite. i noe, but cant help it. =X wahahax. but anyway, thanks again. really appreciate it. xD may God bless you! xD

well, doesnt seem like a little huh? ok it's ALOT. haha. just wanna thank all efc peeps who were dere when i was really down. THANKS U ALL! xD GOD BLESS!

i seriously have no idea why my title is that. haha. i suddenly feel that God wants me to read that book. this is the second time he spoke to my heart bout it. anybody has that book? hehe. cant seem to find my sisters' one. hahahax. x)

oh well, something happened again today. makes me feel so crap.. esp that person is someone who is close to me! haix. but i really thank God for He has always been wif me. x)

so today, went to church. was on duty but went to main service anyway cuz today had special speaker. ron bueno!! hehe. reached church bout 10am but surprised to see that chinese service have not ended. haha. after that, went to eat loh. den went for practice. kathy wasnt dere today cuz she hadta practise for konquerors. haha. so after worship in rzone, we made our way down to the promise. hmm the evangel news video was really nice. jerry was super funny!! pastor mong yee also. they make a cute couple. hehehe. xD so anyway, michelle sang a song which was really nice cuz she had a beautiful voice and den pastor ron shared. his message was bout saving souls. frankly, it wasnt really reviving. =X hadta ask my sis to pinch me to stay awake. =X *sorry God* hopefully konquerors would b more practical and reviving. x) hehe. so.. the things that happened after church was the highlight of today.

hmm heard that there was a meeting after service today so i stayed back. den cuz i needa to find pastor mong yee and tell her that me n zoe are able to get the drum set already, i went to level 4 wif my sis. but pastor was busy wif deck the halls practice. so zoe suggested mayb friday we talk to her. den after my sis g12 lesson ended, we went down to level 1 only to find out that everybody was gone already. and by everybody, i mean those reg A youths. called dennis and bernice and found out they were at north point. pangseh! haha. but nvm. den me and my sis go eat maggie. she left me wif two bowls of untouched cup noodles cuz she rushed up for meeting wif pastor quee beng. and when she arrived back down, i was aslp on the table already. haha. =X

she woke me up and told me she was going to north point to meet the rest for meeting. den i asked if i needed to go. she say since i not acting den dun need. so i nvr loh. den she, josh and samuel left for north point. i stayed awhile in church and was about to leave for home when wenyi came out frm the lift. she asked me where i going so i say home loh den she ask me take 854 together so i agreed. den sing tee and gerald came along also mah. we alighted at northpoint dere den gerald say he wanna eat first. so we three pei ta.. we went to the food court and guess who i saw dere?? josh and samuel! wif devon, tian feng, dixon they all. i was quite surprised. i asked them where was midori and they said they dunno. so i smsed her and ask if she went home already. den she said nope, she at north point wif the rest. so i said, " oh i'm dere too. wif wenyi josh they all. tot ur got meeting? oh well, nvm." den her reply was "we're at the photoshop dere." she din even mentioned anything bout the meeting. nor did she ask me to join them. so.. knowing i would b extra and knowing my presence wasnt welcomed, and knowing i wouldnt fit in, i decided not to go. just told her i'll b going home soon when in actually fact we stayed at the food court for quite some time. i only arrived home at 6pm liddat. she came back bout 15 min after me.

i dunno wat she was thinking and neither do i wanna noe.. forgive and forget bah. wat can i do rite? ppl dun welcome me den nvm loh. i still have God. x) hahax. and like i said, i dun fit in so why do i even try? i wanna hang out wif ppl who like me as who i m. i cant and dun wanna change the way i m. so yupx. that's ME! God made me SPECIAL IN HIS EYES! xD praise the LORD!!

and so.. here i m blogging.. know wat's nice? is that even tho so many bad things happen in one day, i nvr fail to smile for i noe God is always wif me. He will nvr leave me nor forsake me. even if the whole world looks down on me, God will always b dere. He is my LORD and SAVIOUR!! woohoo!! praise HIM!! xD

woo.. needa clarify sth.. the previous post hor, i actually finished typing it only TODAY. cuz while i was typing it last nite, i saw sth crawling towards my chair and AHHH!!!! it was a freaking cockroach!! =X scared me to death. i was screaming inside me loh. it's so disgusting!! eewwww..!! and bcuz everybody else was aslp, i couldnt scream out loud!! it was torturous. haha. totally freaked out loh me. buai tahan. so i faster off the com and ran to my room. i even wrote a note on my hse de whiteboard to warn ppl. ewww.. sian man. totally disgusting.. hahah. so yup. i'm on a look out now. wahaha. that's why i only JUST finish typing it. hehe. so let's go on wif today..

hmm woke up at 10 plus cuz had dental appointment at 11.30am. wahaha. we reached the clinic on time but was delayed by the patient before us. haha. me, midori, my mum and ahma had our turns each den we went home and had our lunch. went to see the skin doc after that. =X sian. dun ask. wahaha. after that den dropped trini at church cuz she had deck the hall practice. me, my mum and kyna went to north point and we ate and just walked around. i went to outreach straight frm dere. was a little late. =X hehe. den outreached to a few ppl den went to the bbq pit. dunno why, din really wanna talk to pcube. =X oh well, showed all of them my pooh sitckers!!! i forgot to mention that at the pasar malam, all the stickers i bought were POOH!!! wahaha!! so cute loh! hehehe. den they all took abit here and dere frm me. it's ok lah. that's the reason i brought it to outreach mah. haha. but ber ber fat took one whole thing! x( hahahah.. joking lah. nvm one. hehe. den i sticked on my own hp also. and dennis forced me to stick the 'built-in bra' one onto my hp! so paiseh loh. haha. but he say wat is efc de zao pai? hahha. funny lah he. haha. den i left the earliest loh. cuz hadta go to my sch band concert. alverina last performance so muz go and ti ta jiayou!! hahaha. xD

took mrt all the way to paya lebar. den i got changed and made my way to sch. while waiting for bus at the bus stop, guess who i saw?? zhang!! haha. he alighted frm a car. weird loh he. haha. den i faster called out to him and asked if he was going to sch for the concert and he said yea but he gonna meet up wif the other guys first. and so he went off. haha. 135 came and i boarded it. din seem to see any familiar faces. haha. den rasif boarded the bus at the next few stops. he din see me tho. haha. den at sch, i alighted and guess wat? i saw clar!! haha. she blur lah she! nvr even see me board the bus. haiyo. hahaha. no wonder she in my club. hehe. the blind, the blur and the deaf. hehe. bbd club. wahaha. xD den as usual, sy was late. -_- and guess wat. she was on the same bus as zhang, kest and stephen. hahaha. xP serves her right for being late. wahaha. =X ok i'm being evil but wahahah. =X but she super late lah she. we went in the audi den no more gd seat liao. sat at the corner, front row. sian loh. hahha.

the concert was not bad overall. except that i almost fell aslp. hehe. alv was right infront of us. haha.and malaq voice is superb loh! sijia one not so nice. but shiok. haha. kinda enjoyed myself bah. wahaha. i tot pig would b dere cuz i saw zhang they all but end up nvr see him. wahaha. but gd. hehe. xD and i think the conductor for the main band is quite shuai!! wahahah. =X lameness. haha. after the concert ended, we took a pic wif alv den we went off le. went to paya lebar dere to eat our dinner aka supper. haha. wanted to eat dere one but no time! so late le loh. cuz 135 took so long to come!! sian loh. all full wif ppl. haha. end up we bought mac home to eat. can u believe it? mac again!! sian. hahaha. reach home bout 11 liddat loh. den bathe.. hahax..

so here i m blogging loh. sian man. dunno why but just cant slp. haha. woo.. rev ron bueno speaking tmr!! wahaha. it's goona b gd, i can tell. xD hehehe....

yea. my blog title is so true. haix. dunno wat to say. dunno where i shld start. just feeling... not so gd...? haix. crap. dun even noe howta describe how i'm feeling now. oh well. let's just start wif wed..

wed, woke up at 8am plus to go for training. actually, it starts at 10am loh. but cuz it's at AJC so havta wake up earlier. i take bout 40 min to reach dere. sian horx. den today did long runs at NYP dere. it's just opposite AJC. dere's a 4.5km route ard the sch so coach want us to run dere. but cuz i just started training not too long ago, coach want me to do 2.5 km nia. thank God loh. if not i really would have died. hmm.. we ran all the way to yio chu kang stadium. dunno whether i mentioned before, but it's the smallest stadium i've ever been to loh! sian. no water cooler summore. siao one. haha. den we did abit of grass work. 200m repetition. siao one. but thank God i pulled thru! haha. fives time leh. all of us wanna die liaox. haha. but nevertheless, i still enjoyed training! hehe. x) after that, we left for pasir ris le. it was the start of our athletics fun camp cum farewell party for sec4s. i stopped at kembangan mrt to get my stuff frm remy while the rest made their way to pasir ris first. i met up wif them again den we go eat at cavana. not bad leh the food. i would have really enjoyed my food and the company of my track team if not for someone. shant mention who. =X so anyway, after we eat den we go to the chalet le loh. mr rizal already checked in for us. oh yes, forget to say sth. because so many ppl played out on us, we din have enuf money to have a bbq. pathetic rite? crap loh. den actually ash got food left frm her bbq but she din bring charcoal, tongs and all the necessary stuff den cher dun wanna pay so end up, dun have bbq anyway. stupid loh. but anyway, i guess the whole thing was kinda ok.

when we reached the chalet, someone suggested going bowling. so all of them went except me and sy. we din wanna bowl so we went to swim instead. wahahax. saw someone who REALLY REALLY looked like kester at the swimming pool! we kena shock loh! hahaha. lame. den sy saw one guy who acts in some kids show but i cant recognise. hehe. after that, we met back at the chalet. me and clar went to buy dinner for them. mac loh. haha. love the seaweed fries! hehehe. xD den all sat down and watched tv. at bout 11m plus, we all went to the arcade! hehe. played bishi bashi! that three button game. red green blue. wahaha. i'm queen of that game! wahaha. hehehe. xD den we went to play bball. the arcade one. so fun loh! but our hands and leg so suan. cuz we just keep throwing and throwing. hahax. but anyway, guess who i saw? bully!! scare me loh. when i first saw him, i wasnt sure. den i saw his face and i confirmed. he was at the bball dere also, playing. den i pretend not to see him. =X haha. cuz i also dunno wat to say. so pretend nvr see loh. =X in a state of shock you mei you. hahaha. =X den i use nik to block me. wahaha. den dunno why horx, she move back leh! den AHH!! he saw me. =X he called me loh. cuz my hp was in my hand. so i guess he was calling to check. cuz my hp rang once den stop le. crap. haha. as i was standing dere, suddenly, a hand came on top of my head and pushed me downwards!! i looked up and den i was like EH?!! i pretended to b shock. =X den he just smiled? yea i guess. wahaha. den i just continued to play my bball lo. haha. den after a while, the arcade gonna close le loh. so we all went back to the chalet. on the way back, bully sms me lo. ask me where my chalet and we just chatted awhile. den i say i dun disturb him le. den he nvr reply le loh. den after quite some time, somebody called me loh. i kena shock seh. it was bully. haha. he say he at dunno where, den ask me and my frens join him. den i say dun wan cuz my frens dunno his frens mah den like so weird. wahaha. den we hang up. not long after, we all go slp liaox. but i was still quite awake. i was the last to slp i think. oh well, i eventually fell aslp. hahax.

woo. next morning, we woke up at nine plus. wait for the rest of them to come to the chalet den we go wild wild wet le loh. so fun leh!! hahahax. we took the family ride, go lazy river, tsunami, water works and samsung slide up!! they also went to the sky rider thingy but i din go. i'm afraid of heights!! =X it scares me to know that i'm just balancing on one long and narrow thingy. yikes! =X hahax. at bout 3 plus, we went to eat le loh. went to tea valley and ate the mushroom chicken noodle. wahaha. after that we went back to the chalet to rest. slack all the way. went to arcade, went back to watch tv den go arcade again. wahaha. xD fun seh. haha. den at nite only got four girls. hehehe. pathetic lah but nvm. we still had fun. went to slp about 2am. frankly ah, the is the only chalet i ever went that i slpt so early! sian man. wahahahax...

checked out dis morning at bout 10 plus. took cab home cuz was so tired and plus was carrying the radio! so heavy loh. den gave amanda and shuyi a lift to kembangan mrt. nearer than pasir ris mah. haha. reach home le den i slpt for awhile. buai tahan ah. super tired. slpt for bout 1 hour plus den wake up and went for training le. hmm.. did a 2km run today and 200m reptitions three times. actually, i really thank God loh. i din go for training for 3 weeks le and yet my 200m reptition was 37s, 36s and den 35s. decreased by one sec each time. really praise God. couldnt have done it without him. my normal time was 38-39s. den plus i havent trained for 3 weeks. i tot my timing would b 40+s. but praise God!! decreased summore. hehe. xD couldnt b happier. hahax. after that, we went to the pasar malam nearby and bout stickers and earrings!! hehe. actually i wanted to buy the stickers nia. but den saw the earrings quite nice, 4 pairs for $10 and buy 4 get 1 free! wahaha. xD den me and clar bought two pairs each and we gave the free one to sy as her first pair of earrings!! haha. she havent pierced her ears yet. but once she does, she can wear that earring!! haha. after that, we got a cheese sausage each den i rushed home le. bathed den left the hse for hof. woo..

hmm dunno why, but i really feel like a substitute. haix. just cuz my sis wasnt going hof, ber ber fat and jo smsed me and asked if i was going hof and if i was reaching yishun. sianx loh. they hardly ever sms me. so i felt weird when they did. haix. service was ok. alot of worship today!! woohoo!! love worshipping the Lord!! xD it feels so gd. to praise Him and give Him all the glory. xD wow.. it's just amazing. x) after that, dere was a meeting on the retro christmas mtv thing. i saw the script and found out that i wasnt in the danced. i was... surprised, i must say. i felt both happy and sad? i dunno howta describe that mix feelings. hmm.. i mean, after me and my sis kinda quarelled over it den i dun need act? sounds stupid. but it's better i guess. so nobody has to see a stupid face on screen. hahax. watever loh. cant b bothered to think so much. after that, on the bus, joelle sat wif me loh.. isloated myself again. din really talk to joelle also. sian. totally OUT.

so continueing wif the substitute thingy, yep, i feel so like one. like i said above, when midori not around, they all come find me. when she's around, they'll just throw me one side. on the bus, if midori is around, jo will go sit wif midori and talk bout jap stuff. that's bout it bah. and pcube also. haix. hate to say this but it's true. when her billabong is around, i'm invisible. ok. that's prob exaggerating but we just hardly talk. but anyway, i also find that i cant really confide in her. haix. and we dun act like wat we're called anymore. she has somebody else. so nvm. gd for her bah. i'm not a gd fren. i'm just everybody elses' substitutes. haix. i dunno wat to say anymore.. and about my sis, it's not that i din not forgive her. it's just that mayb our sister relationship stretches only that far i guess. and i hope ppl will treat me as virnice and only virnice. not anybody else.. x)

and i noe that it isnt gd to hang out wif unbelievers very often but guess wat? they are the ones who really make me feel that they need me and they enjoy my presence. they are the ones who make me feel appreciated and happy. and i can tell they really enjoy my crap. they dun hate me or treat me as a substitute. they dun just throw my aside once they're done wif me. they treat me as a fren, a TRUE fren. they treat me as someone whom they can talk to. they treat me as someone whom is always willing to lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. and i dare say, they are RIGHT. most of them are frm the track team. and i'm trying to bring them to church. hopefully God will speak to their hearts. x) one more thing i gotta add is that i dun isolate myself when i'm wif them. i just talk and talk and talk. so freely. all the crap. haha. sad to say, i dun feel myself when i'm wif efc ppl. =X just dunno howta talk the crap just like how i talk wif my track team. =X i've tried but i'm ignored, i guess. =X hahax. but nvm, it's ok. i'm not so affected by it anymore since i noe God is always wif me. even if i isloate myself in church, i can talk to God. haha. also, one more thing. if u see me in church, i'm either alone or wif my mum. like mummy's girl horx. but nope, the truth is i dun have any like close fren in church. normally, u sound ppl hanging out wif their frens, talking and fellowshipping. but me? either alone or just talking to my mum. the feeling sux sometimes cuz i hate to b alone. oh well, like i said, i have God!! xD

ok i needa confess sth.. i'm actually jealous over pcube!! oh no. that totally sux. =X haix. i dunno why but i just feel that way!! mayb cuz she's getting all the attention and everything a girl could ask for. crap. i cant believe i actually felt that way!! but guess wat, i'm not anymore!! praise God!! xD hmm i talked it out. wif my heart. i reminded myself that i just wanna b a simple girl. i dun wan and dun need the attention. yes, mayb she's getting all the attention and everything, but is her heart right wif God? does she have God's attention? i dunno but i noe i want my heart to b right wif God! and i wanna have God's attention!! yoohoo!! God!! do i have ur attention?? hehe. xD i really hope i can b closer to God. but of cuz, action speaks louder den words. x) will work towards knowing God better.. xD

and bout the special someone, i needa clarify that i noe God is always dere for me. and i'm not in search for a better person that God. i just need someone to b dere for me PHYSICAL. someone to hear me out. someone to NOT judge me. someone to lend me a shoulder to cry on. someone to lend me a listening ear. someone to know me in and out. someone to give me advice. all these, PHYSICAL. of cuz, no one can b compared to God. well, that's all i havta say. nvm. as long as i noe God understands wat i mean, that's all that matters. if anybody else out dere does not, i expected it. cuz only GOD UNDERSTANDS ME. x)

PRAISE THE LORD WIL ALL MY HEART!!! xD

V I R N I C E
there's no one else like me cause' God made me special. (:
virnice
eighteen
10.09.90
andersonjc
childofGOD
evangelite
dolphins
drummer
RUNNER
HURDLER.

LOVES God; chocoates&icecream; sports; family&frens; sleeping.
DISLIKES smokers; exams; vegetables; cockroaches&lizards!


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