Saturday, December 17, 2005
12:15 AM Y
a new beginning
♥ just the girl.
i guess yep. it's a new beginning. not only for nelvin, but for me too. x)
these few days.. i wouldnt say it's bad. just MESSY. LOST. CONFUSED. but i found God's love at the end of the day. x)
it's gonna b a super long post. hehehe. xD
well. they're back! wif GIFTS! hehe. just today. and kyna lost so much weight! poor girl. had food poisoning in HK. and OHH NO! she's like made of bones ONLY. poor girl. miss them loads. even tho the hse was quieter, more peaceful, nth beats having them at home. xD
so anyway. wednesday was nth but packing. clearing. shifting. moving. whoosh.. DONE! well.. almost. hehe. den went to g12 in the evening and guess wat?! only me and yireng!! how bad can it get? 5 went overseas and
GREAT. alvin had OT.
well i guess there are it's advantages too. it felt weird tho. the worship. prayer. and esp, the SHARING. so awkward! haha. she taught me only. but nevertheless, the sharing was great! touched my heart. changed me. x)
best of all, me and yireng got to share some stuff bout overselves! hehe. ssshhhh.. dun tell you all! wahaha. glad we talked. and it felt good. hehe. xD
woke up at 7.30am on thurs cuz had training. it was tiring! did reptitions. and i would say my track team wasnt in top form that day. everyone kinda did quite badly. nevertheless, thank God we all completed the workout! praise God! xD
after training, i made my way to
SENTOSA! woot! xD i was
LATE. SUPER LATE! =X
so, i volunteered to buy lunch. so nice of me. wahaha. joking! xP bought drinks too. it was HEAVY. and i carried it all by
MYSELF to sentosa. praise God i made it dere ALIVE! HAHA! xD wat u expect. i'm a
strong girl ok.. hehe.
but something happened on the way dere. way before i bought the food and drinks. something that left me thinking all the way. something that struck me dere and den. something i nvr wanted it to happen.
he knows. he's irritated. he din go.
but know wat? i'm over it. x)
and so, i brought the food dere. DENNIS. MOK. JACK. was dere to 'welcome' me! HAHA! or rather, to help me carry the food and stuff. i was bout to die when God sent help! haha. i bought chicken rice, wanton mee, carrot cake, 4 bottle of drinks and some chips. and they all ate like some hungry animals!! =X OPPS! hehe.
rina. jiamin. eelen. akkim. was dere. under the shade. haha. glad they were enjoying themselves and thank God the food was kinda enuf. haha. xD
we played beach volleyball. and they went kayaking while i stayed on shore. i know i abit sao xin but i really din wanna kayak. *sorry you guys. =X* that time OBS kayak until sian liaox. actually not sian. is
SCARED liaox. tiring loh. and dun really like the deep waters. =X cant stand the feeling of not knowing wat's under me. hahax.
so anyway, jack came back frm kayaking earlier then the rest cuz they went to the other side. and we talked abit. he was like, no offence but who u like. den i was like,
"i'm a
SMALL girl wif a
BIG heart."
hehe. that's my fav sentence now. wahaha. so anyway, before i could answer him, the rest came back. i could tell he had assumptions already.
den back on shore, me, jack and dennis went to swim at the resort's swimming pool while the rest stayed behind. at the pool, jack and dennis played water polo while i watched. haha. den i joined in but we just passed the ball. they taught me. jack esp. think they teach until wanna blow liao cuz i just cant get it right! haha! =X my hand no strength mah. haha.
den when we went back down, guess wat? jiamin became a
MERMAID!! HAHA! oops. hehe. mok dug a hole. a DEEP one. and jiamin went in! half of her body was left above the ground. haha! they covered her wif sand and drew the mermaid tail and scales. so funny! so CUTE! hehe. i used my phone and took pic. sad that nobody bought a cam. x( oh well.. xD
we continued to play beach volleyball after that. actually, the 'we' is only me, mok, jack and dennis. akkim was just sitting by the side while the other three girls just sat on a big rock nearby.
frankly, i felt a litte left out. =X i tot of leaving the volleyball game and join them but, i know i'll feel extra. =X as in, mayb they're talking bout a certain topic which i dunno. so i chose not to go. played on instead. me and dennis one team. against mok and jack.
well, we lost! hahax. score was 25-22. so close! but it was fun. i had fun. and i learnt much. about how to play volley ball.i just dunno howta set the ball! haha. SAD. jack is good loh. surprised he isnt in the volleyball team. so anyway, dennis was dying! cuz he was so so so hungry! poor thing! haha! xP
we went the the resort toilet to shower. while the rest went to shower first, me, jiamin, dennis, mok and jack swam in the pool first. and the three guys were showing off stuns! haha. like running straight into the pool. hmm wat else? just lame stuns! hahax.
and den dere was dis little boy. he's so
CUTE! haha! he was so fascinated by the three guys stuns that he came over and talked to us. his name is darren. and he has a sister too. who was beside him and her name is crystal.
he's really very CUTE! i mean it! haha. xD
he was holding a gameboy in his hand and it kinda seemed like a camera. so i joked and asked him to take a pic of jiamin and me and guess wat he did?? he put down his gameboy, made two circles around his eyes wif his fingers and went, 'chik-chik! (the sound a camera makes)' HAHA! so cute rite! wahaha. mayb not cute to you, but nvm! he's cute to me! hehe.
and den i asked him how old he was and he was like, "i'm seven years old." but wif his fingers showing the number 8! haha! so cute! xD
he talked bout his sister too. saying she likes to fight and that he always wins. and the sister gave "you qian bian ah" face. haha! both of them so cute! xD and den later, i forgot wat me and jiamin said or asked but guess wat he said?
"i like pretty girls too."
hahaha! cute rite! so young loh. hehe.
after that, we all went to shower le loh. the three girls came out looking great. skirts, razor back, shorts jeans, nice clothes, well dressed. me? like a boy. =X haha. just shirt and shorts. i felt extra. seriously. like how can i b conpared to them. look at them and look at me. haha!
i tot to myself, i shld dress nicer next time. but den again, that wouldnt b me! sometimes, i really dun understrand myself. dun understand why i try to fit in when i dun. dun understand the things i do. den i remember the show, 'wat a girl wants'.
i remember that cute oliver james told pretty amanda bynes, "i dun understand. why do you try to fit in when u're born to stand out?"
ok, mayb i'm not born to stand out, but i noe i'm born NOT to fit in. so why do i even try? i've given much tots and come to the conclusion that, i'm happy wif the way i am. why do i try to change, just to fit in?
woot. that woke me up. no more trying to be someone else. i need to b myself. xD really thank God for speaking to my heart. x)
so anyway, once we're all done, we gathered at a small table. den the small boy appeared again! me and jiamin told the rest bout wat he said bout liking pretty girls. den eelen asked him, "do you think i'm pretty?" hahax.
den he looked around. pointed at ME. and guess wat he said?
"i think she's pretty!" he said.
i couldnt believe my ears. seriously. call me BHB or watever. i dunno. but my first reaction to him was, "you're joking rite?" but he din say anything and walked towards his sister.
at first when he pointed at me, i tot he was gonna say, "she's ugly!" but his words stunned me dere and den. =X
i felt insulted actually. =X but it dawned on me that KIDS nvr lie. they're so innocent. haix. i think God is trying to speak to me cuz.. cuz.. cuz.. NVM. i'm BHB. sigh.
so anyway, we made our way to habour front the hawker centre dere and eat. i sat at the same table as jack, akkim and dennis cuz the other table no space liaox. had wanton mee and carrot cake. AGAIN. haha. din eat much during lunch mah. haha.
while akkim went to other table to talk and dennis went to get second round, jack asked me the same question again, saying i havent answered him.
"i left everything at sentosa."
that was wat i told him. haha. in actual facts, at sentosa, i shoved away a layer of sand, wrote down the things i wanna forgot and dun wanna think about when i go back to mainland, and covered it wif sand again. stupid rite? but it's ok. at least i know it worked for me. i did leave it all dere. wat i'm saying is, i left it all in the hands of God. xD
woo.. feel happy and free again.. xD
CHOCOLATES! make ppl happy! it does! xD
and HE told me HIS story. on the MRT. i was touched. enlightened. and i salute him. xD pei fu ta. nvr met anyone like him. i tot those ppl only existed in stories and movies.
he is so wei da. his love towards someone is so sacrificial. of cuz, dere is no greater love than God's love. xD but still, i was really touched by his story. and i thank God for him. he has taught me much. really. he showed me wat love was really all about. mayb u think wat i'm saying is crap. but watever. at least i think he did. x)
i wanna walk in HIS footsteps. as in treat love the way he does. loving someone is letting him/her be happy even tho u cant have him/her. and even tho he/she is wif someone else, encourage him/her, wish him/her all the best. most imptly, be HAPPY for him/her.
mayb, as teenagers, we have no rights to say wat love is all about and all that stuff bout love. mayb u think wat i'm saying is crap. but i think that's true. at least for me. most imptly, we shld seek and pray to God bout it. x)
but anyway, dun get it wrong. i do not like anyone now. SERIOUSLY. not joking. left it all at sentosa remembeR? hehe. xD
so well, i've learnt much. and these few days, i've also learnt NOT to judge ppl. we dun have any right to judge. only God has. x)
woot. had training again today. xD hehe. i'm training madly! and recently, pooh madness! xD hehe. i'm all about pooH! whhee! xD
lao da smsed me at bout noon and i was shocked at the content of his msg. but will just continue to pray for him. look at it as a new beginning alright? x) hope he felt better after bowling and is feeling even better now. x)
training was at 2.30pm. the sun was scorching hot. the stadium seemed like a desert to all of us. haha! okok mayb i'm exaggerating but it was a little bit lah! cuz the sun so hot and there was sand all over the seats dere! dunno why also. haha.
gerald was full of crap as usual. fell on his butt. haha! =X and both of us did hurdles today! woot. gave him some tips on hurdling as it was his first time. hehe. xD and den we did FOUR hurdles! not short distance loh. 200m leh! it was a killer! =X dying.. and worst of all, the heat was intense!
so.. rushed home and den went for hof. msg was ok. but altar call was reviving. felt convicted. and i'm glad i felt a change in me. GREAT. xD
it was extremely noisy on the shuttle bus today. well. beats being quiet.. they were communicating in TAMIL. funny. hahax.
when the bus was on it's way to tamp, left me, joelle, yireng, alvin and a NEW guy. it was walter's classmate i heard. =X
we were arguing who to break the ice. and yireng pointed at me. so did alvin. -_- giving the reason, "you're YOUNG and AVAILABLE."
wah. haha. SABO loh! but in the end, yireng plucked up her courage and talked to him. introduced us to him and den continue to talk to him.
curious as i am, i asked alvin wat his name was. and he mouthed it out. it LOOKED like 'herbie' and thinking that it was IMPOSSIBLE for a guy to b called that, i shouted out, "HERBIE?!"
and CRAP. i DIED.
alvin was showing signs that meant 'OH CRAP!' 'DEAD!'
AHH!!!! so paiseh loh!! his name was kerbie. *not sure of the spelling. and i just shouted out 'herbie' so loud!! and alvin said he turned around loh. AHH!!! wo mei you lian jian ta le. =X
and den, it started. ahhh!! they teased me bout kerbie!! saying wat we're compatible and all.. ahh!! no way!! but anyway, i think he has a gf. wahaha. but ahh!! no way no way no way!! i hardly even noe that guy!! ahhhh!!
and know wat? yireng invited him to come for home christmas as his hse was quite near yireng's hse. and she asked me to meet him at her hse bus stop and bring him to her hse if she cant make it.. AHHH!! SABO!!! it's gonna b so awkward loh. no way. she's joking.. i know..
and den the teasing continues.. she said he studies at yiochukang and that i go dere for training. wah.. very gd. -_- so i was asking where. and she said NYP. my jaw dropped. WAT??!! i practically RUN dere!! crap crap. GREAT. that gave them more things to tease me about.
BOOHOO!
alvin and yireng, SPARE ME!! =X
i'm not angry or pissed or anything. just AAHHHH...
so well. here i am. at home. blogging. and guess wat? dennis lost my hairband. how NICE. and it felt so weird training without my hairband today. oh well.. clips will do. HAHA.
deck the halls tmr! hehe. my sisters performing.. wahaha..
it will b a success. xD
for little ones are precious in God's eyes.
whheee.. xD
it really is a NEW BEGINNING.
for me and LAO DA.
and once again,
i'm a SMALL girl wif a BIG heart.
HAHA
but without God,
i'm NOTHING.
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
God is wif us, always...
