well. i know it's a little bit late to say this. but HAPPY CNY! haha. xD

i dunno wat to say. hmm. is dis considered a new beginning? i guess so. i hope to live my live right once again. x)

last thur's training totally rocked! we had 23 for attendance! even more than tues! xD
i really love the new sec one athletes! xD they're so hyper, full of energy and so chattery! woot!

wat i heard frm other ccas is that they din have so many ppl. e.g girl guides had 14 new recruits. =X and they weren't so talkative and crappy as ours! xD

the first time they came for training, they were already talking as if we've known each other a long time ago! it was really cool. xD

mayb bcuz i set the 'foundation' for them. HAHA. u know me, i'm crappy, sarcastic, lame.. well i guess it all means the same. but u know. haha!

i crapped the whole first training lah. and they crapped along wif me. and added that i was crappy. haha. but i'm glad they were already quite open on the first training.

and on the second training, which was a thur, they opened up even more. which made me feel so happy! xD but one thing i muz say, they just dunno when to keep quiet. HAHA.

everytime i wanna say something,i havta shout so many times before they can lend me their attention.woosh. but other than that, they're really great juniors. xD as for now.

on thur, we discussed on the designs for the track shirt and vest and all. and i told them some admin and non admin stuff. i'm quite happy they're enthu and all. it's really nice. xD and i hope they will keep dis up. x)

come to think of it again, i dun wanna leave tk already. x( frankly speaking, i hate tk. so many bad memories. of cuz, there are good ones too. but given a choice, i'll erase both good and bad memories den just keep the bad ones.

back to the point, yup. wo bu she de leave le. cuz now got the sec1s. sadded lah. why they only come in dis yr. so sad loh. argh.. x(

well. i guess i'll just havta cherish the time spent wif them and come back more often after i leave tk. x)

other than that, we'll soon enlarged our track family tree. when asked who wanna b wat, e.g. my grandson/granddaughter/daughter/son. blah blah. the sec1s were all so enthu! haha! so happy. xD will look even more forward to training now.

oh yes, there's dis guy called stefan. pronounced as stephen. he prefers ppl to call him step. but i rather call him stev-fun! u know, like in a french way. haha. so cool! xD and he's so noisy lah. haha. other than dunno when to keep quiet, i think he's very cute. and funny. xD

dun get it wrong ahh.. cute as in cute cute. not handsome cute. wahaha. just simply cute. xD HAHA! xP

oh yah. thur is also the day i acknowledged another di. xD one of my juniors. we same sirname summore. doubt anybody will know we're NOT siblings if they dunno us. hehe.

he very poor thing loh. father wants him out of track and go to soccer. but it's so unfair lah. track is his first cca loh. plus he signed the consent form! how can he do that. he was telling me dis prob, and that's how we became jie and di. i will do my very best to help him. x)

ok lah. that's bout it about my new track team. xD

tk is so kiasu lah. cant stand them loh. we had lessons on friday! can u believe it. when other schs like, RGS, AJC, all the good schs are left off at 10am. half day.and our sch, normal time loh! sickening.

we had lessons for the first half of the day den celebration at the end. it's so dumb lah can. den P CHAN say wat, oh cuz it's not the eve of new yr so we still have lessons for first half. wat crap loh..

now u all shld know why i'm so stressed out. so sickening loh my principal. cant even let us relax for ONE day. wat crap sch..

one thing dunno good or bad, that the sch caused me. it caused me to lose 2 kg in one week! wow rite. *jaws dropped?* hmm to me, it's good i guess, cuz i wanna lose weight. wahaha.

but bad thing is, joelle told me that my metabolism rate has went down, and once it goes up again, i eat a bit den will gain alot! AHHHH!! =X

everybody keeps saying i runner, wun fat de. but they're so wrong loh. =X ok ok i dun LOOK fat, but i'm heavy! =X so i needa lose weight. hehe. xD sch's gonna help me achieve that now. wahaha.

so anyway, took my eng test after sch on friday cuz missed it on wed. hmm.. hard loh the compre! die liaox. sian. who can teach me english! =X haix.

hmmm after that, nik's mum gave me a lift to kembangan mrt. later met up wif nik again. plus shuyi and we went to catch a movie. cheaper by the dozen 2! that show rocks loh! elliot is cute! xD hehe. muz watch!

after that i rushed to church le. was ABIT late. =X heh. the sharing was good as usual. convicting and reviving. SOULS! xD we muz win souls for the Lord's coming is near...

we had games after that. riddles and an impromtu drama which reg A did quite badly. haha. but it's ok. it's impromtu mah! cant expect much. xD

hmm sat was kinda sian. even tho i went shopping for my new yr stuff.. =X just no mood to shop loh. but i finally bought my nike shorts! woot! xD and three new tops and another shorts.

i realised that slowly, my wish list is getting shorter! xD i already got my drums! and my nike shorts! xD even tho i got a sling bag already, i dun really like it. =X want one for sports de. hehe. but PTL!! He gave me most of the things i wanted.

really wanna thank God for being wif me all these time. even when i lost the will. even when i lost the strength to carry on. even when i almost lost all hope in myself and in Him. He was dere. for ME.

He was dere when i needed him most. nobody knew wat i was going thru. the stress. the hurts. the pains. but He knows and He nvr left my side. those tears i cried at nite, he wiped it away for me. He knows. He hears. He cares. He LOVES. thank you Lord.

ok. that's about it. hmm dunno why but i keep getting scratches on my right leg. sian. ouch lah! and so awful now. haha! xP

hmm din do any visiting today. instead, watched tv, do some revision and slept today. first day of CNY and it's quite boring lah. din have much ang baos either. HAH! xP

well, i kinda lied. =X but since i said it, i gotta make sure it will no longer b a lie.
i'm sorry. to you know who you are. =X

the truth is, i'm still uncertain about the way i feel towards..... i just dunno howta b frank to you. afraid it will hurt ur feelings and knowing the consequences. so i lied. i'm sorry. but how i wish it wasnt a lie. really.

in any case, i really dun wanna get involved in the matters of the heart right now. i cant even cope wif my own studies now! where will i find the strength the handle the matters of the heart. haix. just.. let me go.. for now.. *God, set me free.. i need you..*

but i thank God for matthew. matthew sim. for the advices he gave me. they were really useful. and i'll work on it. thanks matthew! xD

well, i'm gonna dedicate a song to all piggs out dere. i know who are those i'm refering to. so it's ok if u dun. xD

i din go to school today. not because i realy cant. but because i really dun want to. i cant find the motivation. i lost the will and the strength. nth seems to b driving me to go to school. haix.

i really cant stand the state i'm in now. the state where i'm all stressed up. the state where all i can say is, oh no! i havent done my hw! the state where everything seems to b so boring. haix.

i realised that every wed, i have the longest prayer list. yireng always havta pray for me. about the stress i'm facing. having late nites. having a busy schedule. having a hard time coping. haix.

thankfully, i am able to put on a happy front wherever i am. be it in class, in church and during training. i'll always b crapping and smiling. but deep inside, i'm really sick and tired of sch.

sometimes i wonder. wat's the point of studying so hard, getting good results when at the end of the day, all i want to b is up dere in heaven, with God. does studying even help me to achieve that?

i can definitely say no. in fact, it's pulling me away frm God. mayb it's me. it's me who cant organise my time. it's me who cant spend my time wisely. it's me who cant cope wif stress.

i'm really tired. and somehow, my results for the last few tests are such disappointments. and it really scares me bcuz it's just tests and i'm already doing so badly. how how. *God help me!*

and ms yap put even MORE stress on me. saying i shldnt b getting this kind of results. and that i'm of distinction calibre. she mentioned that i shld have been in those pure science classes. haix.

she also asked if it's bcuz of athletics that i'm doing quite badly. mayb it is. but i dun care. training is the only thing now that motivates me to go to sch cuz i feel good when i run. i feel that all my stress and worries are gone when i'm running. mayb it's just temporary but i dun care.

not just running. other sports also will make me feel the same way. whether i'm running or doing any other sports. i'm focused. and i wun think of other things. haix.

i really dunno wat i shld do but pray. but i cant just pray and do nothing bout it. i muz still study. focus. and perserve. strive on.

i really look forward to weekends. T.G.I.F. thank God it's friday! cuz i can go for HOF! and den sat can go for heart.sports! even tho i was late last week cuz of drumming lessons. =X and sunday! church! xD

really cant wait for my o levels to b over. and i hope my efforts will pay off.

ok now. sth better to hear. the sec1 athletes came for training yest. and wow! the athetics team was so big yest! we had 21 people! it was such a big group! cant believe it. first time in history. haha.

i talked to them after training. played whacko first. just to break the ice and get the ball rolling. den i set the tone right for them. and they said i was long winded. =X haha! that's why i'm the 'ah mah' of the team mah. HAHA! xD

and yep. 21 sept was kor's bday. it was also the most memorable day in 2006. HAHA! hey. 2006 just began loh! haha. but really. it was memorable for me. xD

dun get it wrong yah. it was memorable not bcuz it was my kor's bday. but.. blah blah. haha.

and ber. i cant do it lah! sorry. =X

well, have u ever liked someone but wished that person will NOT having feelings for ya? dun think anyone rite. but me. yep. in that situation right now.

oh well. know wat? i dun even have time to think about that! that's good in a way. cuz mayb the feelings will fade. hor ber? xD

last thing i wanna say. i really very disappointed in someone. cant believe that someone can still say such things to me. i dun see my name anywhere! but people who dun really talk to that someone, that someone was actually grateful for them! but not me. how disappointing. haix.

mayb.... i'm just not a good fren.

i want to pray more. i NEED to pray more.

mayb some things are just meant to be.

my prayer.

**Dear God, i pray that u will give me strength to cope wif the stress i am facing. Lord i pray that u will give me the will to want to go to sch.

Lord i pray that u will help me to organise my time well and spend it wisely. help me to sleep earlier and set my priorities right.

and most importanly, Lord, help me not to neglect you. help me to always read ur bible and talk to u. help me to always seek you. thank you Lord.

and Lord, right now i also wanna pray for those who are in the same stres state as me. esp those who are taking the o levels dis yr.

Lord i pray that u will also give them strength and the motivation to study. assure them that their efforts will pay off.

and lastly, Lord i wanna pray for those who are waiting for their O level results. Lord i pray that when they receive their results, they'll b happy, knowing that they've done their best. that whatever their results mayb, they will feel ur peace. help them to know that u're always wif them. bless them oh God.

i commit all these things into ur hands,

in Jesus name i pray, AMEN!

xD

God bless all of you!

about a week since i last blogged.

TIRED. EXHAUSTED. SICK. STRESS. CRAZY!

these are the words i can think of to describe the state i'm in now.

and wat's worst is that, i feel very convicted. cuz i think i'm drifting away frm God. as in, i still read the bible everyday without fail. but the time i talk to him is getting shorter and shorter each nite. sometimes, we dun even talk! haix!

i am convicted. and i dunno wat to do. so much work to do, so little time! i guess i shld risk getting scolded by teacher for not doing hw and spend more time wif God.

*sorry Lord. forgive me and draw me closer to you each day. help me to use my time wisely and prioritise. put u on top of my list. thank you Lord.*

the Lord's coming is near. and as christians, we shld do our best to reach out to those unsaved onces out dere. so many disasters, so many lives lost. do we ever wonder where they have gone? up or down? or whether they have heard the gospel?

lake of fire is a scary thing. just like wat pastor chui spoke about today. and just the tot of seeing my loved ones and frens suffering in dere, makes me wanna cry! haix.

the name that appeared most in my mind was shuyi. i pray that she will give God a chance soon.

well. life's been the same. busy busy busy. the same rountine over and over again. but i think dis week was the worst week cuz i reached home like 8-9 plus everyday. i'm TIRED. seriously.

i feel the strength in me just being drained out liddat. and the commitments i have in sch is just killing me! BUT, i still not ready to step down. or rather, the sec3s are not ready to take over. haix.

and lately, i dunno wat's wrong wif my class peeps. dunno why keep mentioning his name in front of me intentionally. like just wanna disturb me. as if my frown nicer than my smile. *serious ah?* den keep asking me alot of questions also. SIAN.

just wanna say, it's all in the past le. and i'm over it. really. and i dun wanna think anymore. so i would really appreciate it if you people dun say liaox. THANKS. x)

anyway. went to check up today. and guess wat, i think the bone's growing back! haix. i'm so NOT going for another op if need b. *pls pray for me people! THANKS! :)*

was supposed to have training today. but kena cancelled in the end cuz coach got sth urgent to attend to.

so rushed them to sch after the check up cuz i needed to help out in the gym for the NCC land guys. dunno why i'm so nice. HAHA. =X

actually, i did it for mr rizal's sake lah. they took him away to ncc land loh. so on his account, i helped them. if not, they cant use the gym loh. see i so nice. wahaha. xD

i still prefer the sec3 lot tho. but the sec2s came to use the gym today. all so.. dunno wat to say also. me cant click well wif them. HAHA! the sec3 batch better. but aiya. that ben and aslam. nvr use gym. haha.

hmm. at first, i felt quite weird ahh. cuz ms kwok was dere. and it was like so awkward lah. cuz i think she knows bout me and piggy. =X i dunno lah. den i like very extra liddat. haha!

but i'm surprised i was actually quite useful in the gym. they really dunno howta use the equipment loh. and andy and winston like wanna torture and kill their cadets liddat. siao one! ask them do the super heavy weights. thank God i was dere ahh. haha.

there was, at one point of time, i was busy in the gym. suddenly so many ppl calling for me. first was hoo chiat. den andy den william. wah busy. haha!

they finished using bout 5 pm liddat. thank God training cancelled loh. if not i gotta leave at 4 pm den they havent finish yet. haha.

couldnt go home to get changed or anything before going church cuz cant find homunk! haha! dunno where he go loh. i like see all the other ncc land guys except him.

end up, he at street soccer court. slacker lah he. haha. he came frm behind and went to buy drinks. so i faster chiong ah! den shake his hand and gave him his present. wahaha. den i left le.

something weird happened as i was leaving the sch. kest and piggy were at the water cooler dere when i was leaving. den as kest was looking at my direction, so i waved to him so mouthed out the words bye cuz i din wan piggy to see or hear me. =X

den KEST din noe my meaning. and said bye very LOUDLY. GREATNESS. he turned around. and den... he said bye.. haha! in a funny way somemore. haha!

den as i was walking towards the rountanda, i heard someone calling my name. it was jiaheng! haha. den he said bye. so i said bye. haha!

den as i was walking towards the gate, i heard someone calling my name again! dis time, it was dunno alfi or russell cuz when i turned back and see, alfi just "punched" russell in the stomach and run away. haha!

den i was kinda surprised. so i pointed to myself, asking whether they were calling me. den russell just waved. so i waved back. WEIRD.

hmm den i dropped by my hse the mrt den rushed to church. wah. so tired. =X

strange how the past come knocking on my memory door these few days. the memories that are sweet only tho. no unpleasant ones. and it made me miss those times so much. esp as i was writing homunk's card. hmm.

oh well.

anyway, talked to clar and shuyi that day. they're feeling as stress as i am now. having to train and study at the same time. but i hope my encouragement works on them.

dis is our final year already. we cant give up just liddat! after all we've been thru, after all the hard work we put into training, after all the sweat and pain, NO WAY! we muz perserve.

and all we need now is just to organise our time properly, spend it wisely and JIAYOU! the team needs us now. it just began to grow. dun give up girls! xD JIAYOU JIAYOU!

hehe. muz pray for all of them le. and i really thank God that the team is growing. we have many guy athletes dis yr. compared to our year. haha!

anyway, i'm prob missing poison ball tmr! and prob the next consecutive games! haix!

it's so hard to compromise. or rather, to choose. between drums and sports. both hold a special place in me. why i cant i do both? haix.

both are the second OTHER things that can make me feel happy. feel contented. feel carefree. the first is of cuz God.

i really hope pastor mong yee and kirk can do sth about dis.

pls pray for me ok?

i need strength now.

i need encouragement.

i need advice.

i need to hear the word 'JIAYOU'.

i need somebody to give me the push.

i need somebody to be dere to ask me to carry on.

i need somebody to remind me to NOT GIVE UP.

i need SLEEP.

most imptly, i need GOD. x)

JIAYOU PEOPLE! xD

woot. feeling so happy. cuz i finally realised why i used to feel so left out and all that isolation stuff! xD

i remember once yireng shared at g12 that if we faced problems, it's for a reason. she gave the example of pimple out break. =X it is so that next time when we meet ppl like that, we'll know how they feel and comfort them. xD

same goes for me now! i finally realised why! why i always feel left out last time, like nobody cares and all that. and when i will isolate myself. i finally understand!! just recently on friday! xD

so, i'm beginning to open up and stuff. and i think that's great. xD

and friday, i looked around me and saw that, i wasnt the only one who used to feel left out and stuff. i realised that aik khim and daniel like nvr talk much. den like always isolated.

so i decided to sit wif aik khim on the bus. talked to him and glad he talked quite abit too. xD

den i saw daniel, and he was alone. quietly sitting by himself next to the window. suddenly, i feel that God was speaking to my heart to go talk to him.

i argued that i din have anything to say to him. but God assured me he'll tell me wat to say. and so, i went over to talk to him. and we talked quite abit too! xD i'm so happy. hehe.

and den i looked around again. and i saw nic was alone too. so decided to go talk to him also. he sounded so angry so din dare talk much. =X *SMILE NIC! xD*

hmm i guess he kinda cheered up a little. rina came over and the three of us talked. xD

YEA! i finally know the reason why i used to feel left out. and i finally found my purpose. that is to cheer ppl up! xD

i know how is it like to feel left out and being isolated. and so, i dun wan anybody to feel the same way as me! cuz the feeling is not nice. REALLY.

so, my purpose is to make ppl NOT feel left out! or isolate themselves! my task is to go talk to ppl who feel alone or who ARE alone! i'll b there! xD

woot. feel so happy after finding wat God is using me for. xD and i really hope ppl around me will b happy too. and to those who dunno the Lord, get to know HIM! for in HIM, u'll find JOY! xD

hehe. and even tho wif all the stress and all, i've learnt to cope, by the grace of God. xD i dun feel as depressed as before. in fact, i'm still as CRAZY as eveR! xD

and sat. even tho i faced a 'setback', i wasnt THAT affected. xD

ok this was wat happened. i had lesson in the morning so hadta reach sch at 7.30am. it's insane one lah. my sch *TK* KIASU. =X

yah. and it ended at 9.30am. 4D also had lesson. ended bout same time as us. den i went to help peck ki wif her phy hw. sitting at the benches behind the lib dere. den i saw nik and shan and clarisse and tara walked past.

i shouted out nik's name and they stopped to wave at me. i totally din see piggy. but peck saw lah. i was just asking nik where they were going and they said kallang mac.

and under normal circumstances, she would ask me where i was going too and whether i would like to join them. but nope. instead, she and shan was discussing sth.

i think my guess is right. at first i din see piggy so i tot they were just talking bout sth else. but when i saw him *cuz one of them shouted his name and asked him to hurry cuz he was talking to peishan, den i saw him* i figured that they were discussing whether to ask me along. =X

they must have tot it'll b awkward for both of us. after wat has happened. but they prob din noe that i'm over him. xD and so they left loh. haha.

oh well. the bus ride home was a thinking one tho. i was thinking, if they had asked me to go, would i go? and i can definitely say, no. i wouldnt join them. so extra. haha!

i also tot of many other things. how things would turn out if everything else din happened. and if only i studied hard enuf for my sci, i would have gone to the same class as them and prob leading a better life in 4D. but oh well.. 4G's not so bad i guess. haha!

at the end of the day, i still found myself smiling! xD

went for heart.sports later on that day. met bernice, kenneth and micheal on the way dere. was LATE. thanks to *AHEM*. haha! xP

and i'm aching all over now! thanks to super poison ball. haha! cuz muz throw ball wif one hand mah. den now my right hand aching insanely. OUCH! =X haha.

and u need lots of stamina loh! was SHAGGED by the time the 6 mins was over. and out of the 6 games, i only survived 2 of them. =X pathetic lah. muz jiayou next time! xD

woohoo! GO GO GO DOLPHINS! xD reg A rocks!! hehe.

guitar lesson tmr..

muz jiayou in my music le.

it's hard to learn i muz admit.

both guitar and drums.

but.. i WONT GIVE UP!

jiayou VIR! xD

GOD BLESS ALL! xD

sometimes i wonder, is dere still life in me? i dun feel likfe i'm virnice anymore. the hyper, happy virnice. sec4 life.. it's really tiring. i dunno how my sis can so qing song finish her sec4. haix.

the pressure, stress that the teachers are giving us, is really really ALOT. that seemed to b the thing the took life away from me.. where is virnice?

it's only the second week of sch! but guess wat? i had two tests already. having the third one dis friday. haix.

sometimes i feel that i'm so busy that i have no time to talk! so i feel that THIS hadta go down somewhere.

neglected many ppl already. as in, it feels as if it's been quite some time since i talked to them. like, lao da, jiamin, rina. and more.. that's all my efc peeps.

in sch, my class also dun really have anyone i'm close to. i miss my 2e'04 frens. haix. in class, i cant find anyone to confide in. that's y so many feelings bottled up inside me.

while i'm liddat, i'm glad that shan has nik and nik has shan. i really regret not doing well for my sci. if not, i would b in the same class as them too. haix.

ok. well. i'll not go by date the events happened. just saying out my tots and stuff.

i jsut got my drums lately. and i'm saddened to know that i only have the support of my mum in my family. my sister thinks it's noise and that it's unfair cuz i got everything i want. while my dad thinks i'll lose interest sooner or later and the drums would b a white elephant. haix.

why cant they understand me? and support me? i need them most now! esp wif my Os and stuff. i'm also learning the guitar currently. why cant they encourage me instead and putting me down?! haix.

my sis. i really dunno wat to say. she changed so much. i tot after that incident, she would change and become a better sis. but no.. i cant confide in her. i cant even talk to her. it's like, we distant so much.

she thinks it's unfair that i can get the drums. and guitar. and everything i want. but that's cuz i worked for it! she says that my mum use the money to pay for my drums den no money to pay for her japan trip next yr.

but my mum.. insisted that she pay for it when i offered to pay like 3/4 of it myself. cuz i got the bursary and EAGLES award. and she's proud of me. and i'm also glad that i made her happy.

learning drums is kinda hard. that's y i need the support i can get now. but my sis? i dun even hear a 'jiayou' frm her. haix.

she's changed so much. i dun even think i know her anymore. she summore teach the lesson on "others first" when she thinks of herself first before others.

one example was that day when i borrowed the computer table chair to use it to study in my room cuz my own chair was quite uncomfortable. and when she woke up to use the com, she found out that the chair was changed, she claimed that i always say she think of others before herself den i also liddat cuz i took the chair.

but she wasnt even awake when i borrowed it! haix. i really dunno her anymore. she also dun mix much wif our church frens anymore. dunno wat's going on in her life either. haix.

and my dad.. just came back frm jakarta early dis jan. he was quite unhappy that i was getting the drums. guess he was afraid i couldnt cope wif the guitar and drums.

but since i chose this 'path', cant he at least give me some support? haix. all he could say was, u'll lose interest soon. ??!!! haix. stress as i'm feeling, couldnt he give me some encouragement? haix.

my mum's the best. not only cuz she got me the drums. but also cuz she understands me. and she's always behind me in watever i do. she believes in me. i'm really really happy that God give me a mum like her. wouldnt know wat to do without her. x)

that's about it. i really dun dare to look forward to the rest of my sec4 life. i had a bad start. and i really dunno and dun wanna know wat it'll b like for the rest of the year.

ok. enough bout the drums. somehow, dese few days, i keep thinking bout the past. that pig reminds me of the past.

looking back at 2005, i realised that as much as i had alot of hurts and tears, i had as much sweet memories too. and i'll nvr forget them. next time will talk more bout it.

saw kest wif donna the other day. walking out of sch. looking at the both of them, i felt happy for kest. i mean, he's finally settling down! xD that's really good.

and even tho i really hope that that girl was sy, but i guess, donna's not so bad either. x) at least i think she changed him. a little mayb. watever it is, i'm happy for the both of them. xD

and thinking again, i realised that in the first place, i'm not ready for relationships. dunno how i got involved in two. but it's over now.

it's a new life for me. guys = frens. haha! until i'm ready. no matter how much feelings i have for a particular guy, i'm not gonna give in. even if it means losing him if i take too long to get ready. haha! learnt frm experiences. afraid to get into another relationship too. haha.

and dun look down on me ah.. dun think i'm just making empty promises. when i'm determined to do sth, i can achieve it! xD

take for example last friday when i ran at turf city. we were training for x-country. it was a super long route that we hadta run. and know wat? for the first time in history, i did not stop to walk!!

it's really first time. i guess that time i was really determined not to stop. i keep telling myself that ru guo wo ting, wo jiu shu le. means, if i stop, den i lose already.

even tho i was already last in the team, *sy took the shortcut, recommanded by coach. hehe* i din give up. and this verse kept repeating in my mind. "in God, u'll find victory!" hurray! xD

haha. and so, that day, i din stop during the turf city run! xD

so, my point is, when i'm determined to do sth, i can do it!

and so can YOU! xD

my another point is, that the promise i made just now bout not getting into a relationship, i can keep it! xD i wun break it! haha.

woohoo. feel so much happier after blogging. at least, my tots went somewhere. and my feelings are not bottled inside me.

feel like i just exploded but in a good way. xD

ok. end here. wanna slp liao. zZzZzZzZ

gotta get ready for another busy day at sch. haix.

training tmr.. woo..

GOGOGO! xD

wah. i finally managed to find time to use the com. sec4 life is really tiring. hectic. it's CRAP. haix. sadly, everyone HAS to go thru dis. thankfully for me, i have GOD by my side. x)

sian. i feel that i have drifted away frm the fun side of my life. last week was only the first week of sch and i felt so stress already! still feeling quite stressed up now. haix.

it's been 12 days since i last blog. time flies huh. and so fast! we're into a new yr! 2005 was a fruitful yr for me even tho i wouldnt say it was very good. for me, 2005 was a crying year. =X it's the year that i cried so much, like nvr before. 2005 was also when i got the most hurts. at the same time, i've gotten to know new frens, grew sprirtual and had fun here and dere. but i believe 2006 is gonna b an even better year for all of us. xD

well well. i dun think i can blog wat has been happening in my life for the past TWELVE days. mayb just those significant ones. x)

hmm the trip to sentosa wif my track team turned out to b quite a disaster. =X mayb it was just me. all i could remember is that i was really angry that day. the FORGOTTEN gaves us wrong directions! me and ali. we were late. actually, ALI was late. i was kind enuf to wait for him. and FORGOTTEN had to give us wrong directions!

say silosa beach when they were at palawan beach. made us walk around in circles. end up, when i finally found that, they were actually enjoying themselves loh. i was super angry cuz they could still enjoy themselves even tho they knew we were lost! nobody picked up their phones either. so i couldnt contact them.

who wouldnt b angry rite? they still ask me why i liddat. haix. but i really thank God loh. if it was the OLD me, i would have flare up at them and den leave sentosa. my temper last time was really horrible. but i thank God that as i looked to him and prayed for his peace, i began to have forgiveness in my heart. and joined in the fun later on.

but. i was really having fun cuz my teacher was lost someone on the island too. he dropped his phone somewhere and hadta use someone's else phone. but i was too late when i replied to that no. and the last info i gave him was SILOSA BEACH. forgotten went to look for him. is he gave wrong info so he go find. =X

for me, i cant play in peace as long as someone who is supposed to b dere isnt dere. that's y i offered to wait for ali. but cher had to attend sth in sch so he would b late. end up, he couldnt find us and went home. it was so sad lah. cuz we organised dis outing for him. LAST outing cuz he changing CCA. from athletics to ncc LAND.

why why why! i dun understand lah. of all CCAs, the CCA i hate most. ncc land! haix. and havent they got enuf teachers? they were doing well wif 3 female teachers wat. and now that mr foo is back. so more den enuf le mah. why take away our cher. haix.

we have two teachers lah. but the othe rone is HOD. dun seem to care much about us. mr rizal was the one who made us feel like a team. he was the one that brought the team's morale up. he was the one to crap wif us. made us laugh. and we had loads of fun together as a team. but the HOD. so UNfun. haix.

i dun even understand why they put him in ncc LAND! so unlike his personality! he's a very funny, crappy, and efficient teacher! he's BHB too. hehe. but nccLAND, it's like serious all the way! no time for jokes. eveyday pump pump pump. command command command. so not the CCA for him. haix.

to mr Rizal.
thanks for those happy times u gave the team. we nvr felt so much as a team before. thank s for encouraging us. and even when we din qualify for the diff comps, thanks for not reprimanding us and instead, continue to encourage us, support us. thanks for crapping wif us. and putting up wif our crap too. x) we'll nvr forget you! do come back to track one day! THANKS CHER! xD

oh well, it's back to the HOD again. haix.

and the tot that i'm going to step down soon, really scares me! haix. i just feel that ali and gerald isnt ready for the challenges in front of them. they dun look ready to lead the team! frankly, i'm afraid the team will fall in their hands. =X sorry. but that's how i feel.

they lack of initiative. seriousness. even tho the commitment is dere. and ali, recently, is getting distracted by his gf! haix. how are they gonna prove to us that they're ready to lead the team? haix. God help them..

31dec. went to nel's hse to countdown to a new yr. definitely enjoyed myself dere. played risk which i totally have no clue hwo u go about it. haha. den pom ti ti and animal farm.

pom ti ti was so funny lah. if u lose, is either u choose truth or fishballs. *cuz there were many lfishballs left. ber so poor things. kena saboed so many times. and as for me, PTL! haha. dennis mok they all tried to sabo me. but end up saboing themself instead! haha!

and jason's the pro lah! whoever sists beside him is so dead loh. when the game first started, he was sitting next to me. but thank God nobody pom him. haha! den later he changed place. *phew. but it was really funny lah. they din managed to get any truth out of me tho. hehe. xD

however, i wasnt spared frm the questions too. i MUST say, jason is a good question-asker. wah. better not let him ask u any questions next time. haha! xP anyway, yea. there were questions and answers involving me too. i was equally paiseh. =X

soon, it was 1 JAN 2006.

know wat that means? school is starting! i was so not ready for sch the day before. dun have the heart to go to sch. like so lifeless. and just as i tot, first week only and STRESSED i was.

jus knowing of all the test and exams dates. knowing that everyday havta stayback to 4-5 plus. STRESSED me out. wat crap rite. haix. i'm gonna have a tough year.

and guess wat, lessons started on wed. BORING. it's study and study and study. but somehow i couldnt concentate...

i think i needed a LONGER break frm that pig. still not that ready to face that pig yet. but i muz admit that i have let go. just that the sight of him stirrs up those irritating feelings and some ppl havta go PRICK it.

oh yah! watched tian guo de jia yi already! super nice!! i cried until like siao loh! i muz say, cyndi like very act cute. she end up go wif zi hao. i HATE the ending!! =X she shld go wif hai nuo loh. he more shuai loh! =X character also better. haha.

actually, hai nuo is mine lah. =X wahaha! he's shuai but cant compare to my edison chen hor. hehe. xD but den leh, i like hai nuo's character. really. if he was really liddat in real life and if he was my age, i will choose him to b my bf. hehe.

in the show, his love is so sacrificial loh. cant stand the fact that he gave up cyndi when he almost had her! they were gonna marry when he object and asked her go find zi hao! so poor thing loh he. i cried like crazy. haha.

and i like the way he treats cyndi. so nice. so loving. woo. and the way he pats her head. in the show, when he did that, she felt very secured. i feel the same way as her too. haha! hai nuo aka ming dao is my model bf. wahaha!

but den again, i cant think anything bout that le. it's an impt year for me and i dun wanna mess it up. it will determine whether i can carry on my sports life and also, it will determine whether i can b a teacher. so i needa and wanna focus. focus. focus.

for ur info, i'm fully book. all the way to o levels. sian hor. =X

mondays - sch till 5pm. guitar lesson.
tuesdays - sch till 4.30pm. training. sometimes, prayer meeting.
wednesdays - sch till 4.30pm. g12.
thursdays - sch till 4.30pm. training.
fridays - sch till ??. training. hof.
saturdays - drum lesson. heart.sports/outreach.
sundays - church.

see. haha. so wanna yue wo chu qu, muz make appointment first. hehe. xD

ok lah. blog until here first. alot for one day le. continue tmr. xD

*because of you i never strayed too far frm the side walk.

i need you God.

.drummer.

V I R N I C E
there's no one else like me cause' God made me special. (:
virnice
eighteen
10.09.90
andersonjc
childofGOD
evangelite
dolphins
drummer
RUNNER
HURDLER.

LOVES God; chocoates&icecream; sports; family&frens; sleeping.
DISLIKES smokers; exams; vegetables; cockroaches&lizards!


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