Friday, January 20, 2006
11:31 PM Y
drifting..
♥ just the girl.
about a week since i last blogged.
TIRED. EXHAUSTED. SICK. STRESS. CRAZY!
these are the words i can think of to describe the state i'm in now.
and wat's worst is that, i feel very convicted. cuz i think i'm drifting away frm God. as in, i still read the bible everyday without fail. but the time i talk to him is getting shorter and shorter each nite. sometimes, we dun even talk! haix!
i am convicted. and i dunno wat to do. so much work to do, so little time! i guess i shld risk getting scolded by teacher for not doing hw and spend more time wif God.
*sorry Lord. forgive me and draw me closer to you each day. help me to use my time wisely and prioritise. put u on top of my list. thank you Lord.*
the Lord's coming is near. and as christians, we shld do our best to reach out to those unsaved onces out dere. so many disasters, so many lives lost. do we ever wonder where they have gone? up or down? or whether they have heard the gospel?
lake of fire is a scary thing. just like wat pastor chui spoke about today. and just the tot of seeing my loved ones and frens suffering in dere, makes me wanna cry! haix.
the name that appeared most in my mind was shuyi. i pray that she will give God a chance soon.
well. life's been the same. busy busy busy. the same rountine over and over again. but i think dis week was the worst week cuz i reached home like 8-9 plus everyday. i'm TIRED. seriously.
i feel the strength in me just being drained out liddat. and the commitments i have in sch is just killing me! BUT, i still not ready to step down. or rather, the sec3s are not ready to take over. haix.
and lately, i dunno wat's wrong wif my class peeps. dunno why keep mentioning his name in front of me intentionally. like just wanna disturb me. as if my frown nicer than my smile. *serious ah?* den keep asking me alot of questions also. SIAN.
just wanna say, it's all in the past le. and i'm over it. really. and i dun wanna think anymore. so i would really appreciate it if you people dun say liaox. THANKS. x)
anyway. went to check up today. and guess wat, i think the bone's growing back! haix. i'm so NOT going for another op if need b. *pls pray for me people! THANKS! :)*
was supposed to have training today. but kena cancelled in the end cuz coach got sth urgent to attend to.
so rushed them to sch after the check up cuz i needed to help out in the gym for the NCC land guys. dunno why i'm so nice. HAHA. =X
actually, i did it for mr rizal's sake lah. they took him away to ncc land loh. so on his account, i helped them. if not, they cant use the gym loh. see i so nice. wahaha. xD
i still prefer the sec3 lot tho. but the sec2s came to use the gym today. all so.. dunno wat to say also. me cant click well wif them. HAHA! the sec3 batch better. but aiya. that ben and aslam. nvr use gym. haha.
hmm. at first, i felt quite weird ahh. cuz ms kwok was dere. and it was like so awkward lah. cuz i think she knows bout me and piggy. =X i dunno lah. den i like very extra liddat. haha!
but i'm surprised i was actually quite useful in the gym. they really dunno howta use the equipment loh. and andy and winston like wanna torture and kill their cadets liddat. siao one! ask them do the super heavy weights. thank God i was dere ahh. haha.
there was, at one point of time, i was busy in the gym. suddenly so many ppl calling for me. first was hoo chiat. den andy den william. wah busy. haha!
they finished using bout 5 pm liddat. thank God training cancelled loh. if not i gotta leave at 4 pm den they havent finish yet. haha.
couldnt go home to get changed or anything before going church cuz cant find homunk! haha! dunno where he go loh. i like see all the other ncc land guys except him.
end up, he at street soccer court. slacker lah he. haha. he came frm behind and went to buy drinks. so i faster chiong ah! den shake his hand and gave him his present. wahaha. den i left le.
something weird happened as i was leaving the sch. kest and piggy were at the water cooler dere when i was leaving. den as kest was looking at my direction, so i waved to him so mouthed out the words bye cuz i din wan piggy to see or hear me. =X
den KEST din noe my meaning. and said bye very LOUDLY. GREATNESS. he turned around. and den... he said bye.. haha! in a funny way somemore. haha!
den as i was walking towards the rountanda, i heard someone calling my name. it was jiaheng! haha. den he said bye. so i said bye. haha!
den as i was walking towards the gate, i heard someone calling my name again! dis time, it was dunno alfi or russell cuz when i turned back and see, alfi just "punched" russell in the stomach and run away. haha!
den i was kinda surprised. so i pointed to myself, asking whether they were calling me. den russell just waved. so i waved back. WEIRD.
hmm den i dropped by my hse the mrt den rushed to church. wah. so tired. =X
strange how the past come knocking on my memory door these few days. the memories that are sweet only tho. no unpleasant ones. and it made me miss those times so much. esp as i was writing homunk's card. hmm.
oh well.
anyway, talked to clar and shuyi that day. they're feeling as stress as i am now. having to train and study at the same time. but i hope my encouragement works on them.
dis is our final year already. we cant give up just liddat! after all we've been thru, after all the hard work we put into training, after all the sweat and pain, NO WAY! we muz perserve.
and all we need now is just to organise our time properly, spend it wisely and JIAYOU! the team needs us now. it just began to grow. dun give up girls! xD JIAYOU JIAYOU!
hehe. muz pray for all of them le. and i really thank God that the team is growing. we have many guy athletes dis yr. compared to our year. haha!
anyway, i'm prob missing poison ball tmr! and prob the next consecutive games! haix!
it's so hard to compromise. or rather, to choose. between drums and sports. both hold a special place in me. why i cant i do both? haix.
both are the second OTHER things that can make me feel happy. feel contented. feel carefree. the first is of cuz God.
i really hope pastor mong yee and kirk can do sth about dis.
pls pray for me ok?
i need strength now.
i need encouragement.
i need advice.
i need to hear the word 'JIAYOU'.
i need somebody to give me the push.
i need somebody to be dere to ask me to carry on.
i need somebody to remind me to NOT GIVE UP.
i need SLEEP.
most imptly, i need GOD. x)
JIAYOU PEOPLE! xD
