Monday, June 19, 2006
11:13 PM Y
virNICE
♥ just the girl.
HEY GUYS!
okok. so finally i'm back to blog. stop complaining. i'll update lah k. hahax. joking joking. xD
ahh sian. dunno wat title to put so just put my name loh. hehe.
anyway. i wouldnt say alot of things have been happening lately. just the same old life everyday. but wat i really wanna talk bout is the real ME and TRUST.
i've been thinking. thinking bout wat i really am. like who am i? what am i really like. i find that i am someone who trusts easily. NAIVE. emotional. gullible. but yet, kinda trustable. approachable. have a listening ear. straightforward. frank.
hey, i'm not self praising. in fact, i find that those are my weak points. seriously. just because i care, doesnt give anyone the right to take me for granted right? sigh.
sometimes, i find that ppl make use of me. mayb i'm too nice? nah. i can b mean sometimes. but.. i dun get it. mayb the prob is i trust too easily. and i always get caught in the middle. i dun understand why.
two people tell me too different things. and den outsiders come into the picture. make things even more confusing. who am i to trust?
sigh. all that had happened has made me afraid to trust again. dunno who i can trust and who i cant trust. afraid i'll get hurt. afraid i'll trust the wrong person. sigh. how am i to trust again. this is so annoying.
sigh. i guess i started out my blog abit harsh. so just alittle on my life so far. life's ok. but i must admit, i feel that i'm far frm God. mayb bcuz i only pray to Him when i need help, which is so wrong. haix.
i realised that desire alone is not enuf. action must accompany it.
frankly, in my heart, i really dersire to b closer to God. to talk to Him everyday and know Him better. but every nite i find myself falling aslp while talking to Him.
i'm being frank ok. so dun condemn me. dun mock me. i make mistake things. and i'm not as "holy" as u think i am. i fail too. i'm a human being, just like everyone else.
u may think wat kind of christian am i. falling aslp while praying. hey, at least i'm frank ok. i confess. and i'm ashamed. haix. i need more motivation! pray for me pls. thanks guys. : )
hmm i find that i can advice ppl on their probs but i can nvr help myself. as in, i can tell ppl wat they shld do but when it comes to me, i dunno wat to do. weird huh. sigh.
mayb i do know wat to do. but just can do it. sometimes it's just so hard. haix.
anyway, i've decided that i will make myself wake up early every morning and do my daily devotion. i hope i can achieve wat i planned to go. *God pls help me.
hmm so the latest 'happening' thing in my life is my trip to malaysia. i went to sunway and then to genting. i think very few people know bout this. i like to keep things bout me on low profile. hahax.
ok. sunway was ok. nice. i din get to go to church camp last yr so din go sunway. that was my first time.
it's kinda cool lah. having an ice-skating rink in a shopping centre. and woah. best of all, i can see the pro-s skating! they're really good at it loh. super nice. the way they spin at all. totally beautiful. heh.
and guess wat? i saw guys doing that! it's really amazing how they can do it so well. so graceful. the girls as well. i saw kids skating as well! they're so cute! hehe. xD
so anyway, one thing i've learnt frm this trip is : NEVER GO OVERSEAS WIF ONLY YOUR DAD AND TWO YOUNGER SISTERS.
trust me. go wif them and u'll die of boredom. hahax. it was really sian loh. when come to all the thrilling rides, my sisters both so afraid to take. and my dad? kept saying he old liaox. heart cannot take such thrilling rides, will get heart attack. hahax. lame lah he.
somehow, i persuaded him to take the flying coaster. one of the latest ride in genting theme park. and woohoo! it was really fun. hardly anyone was there when we took the ride. and so, only me, my dad and another small boy took it.
and guess wat? i was the only one screaming the whole ride! as in literally the WHOLE ride! hahax! it was so funny lah. hahax. my two sisters were waiting for us below and they laughed at me! they say only my voice could b heard thruout the ride.hahax.
hmm overall, i would say the trip was quite ok. just regretted that i nvr took ALOT of rides cuz nobody wanted to sit wif me and i din wanna sit alone. like so loner. so loser loh. hahax.
BUT i did sat corkscrew alone. that's the roller coaster that overturns at genting. i took it ALONE loh. sian. hahax.
i guess, that's all i havta say. i will try to update everyday if possible which i doubt i can. haha.. will try not to so long den update k.
i know i have many fans who wanna read my blog and know more bout my life. hahax. KIDDING! i'm not so popular. heh. : )
*dunno why but i just wanna say, thanks to each and every one of you who has ever stepped into my life and made a difference. i just want u guys to know i really appreciate u. and u will never b forgotten.
once my fren, always my fren. : ) thanks for always being there. love you guys loads. xD God bless!
TAKECARE;
VIR.
