2 down, 2 more to go!
i'm so gonna flunk my mid years. :(
this is bad bad bad!
sigh.

i promise i will work hard for promos!
sorry.

i dont even know why it affects me so much.
this feelings kinda sux.
mayb i'm just trying to hard.
i dont wanna be like you.
please dont tell me the hurting truth.
i dont know what i shld do anymore.

the secret of life is LETTING GO.

okok.
i'm sorry i MIA again.
heh.

so anyway,
lots of things had happened.
yest night i mentally broke down.
i was yelling at almost everyone.
not verbally of course.
it's thru sms.
it was crazy.

first it was this kor that i have.
my pri sch fren.
one day he just comes up to me
and say stupid things which i dont even wanna mention.
makes me wonder the value of those words to him.
that he so easily spat out to a person that he hasnt seen for AT LEAST ONE YEAR.
it's totally rubbish.
and i couldnt accept it.
dumb to the core can.

and den another is that wee.
somehow i just blew up at him.
and just say everything.
i dont know why i did it.
and i know i shldnt
cuz he has his own problems too.

ironically, yest was one of the better days too.
cuz i wrote a jiayou card to gina.
as well as a card to my dearest sister.
which i actually tuo for very long already
and dint have time to write.
so ya.
i wrote everything that i felt.
all my thots.
i pen them down.
and gave it to her this morning.
she said she was touched. :)

and note to SOMEONE:
JERK.
thanks cuz i got her back frm ur stinko hands.
now SHOO please. :D

hahaha.
i feel so relieved now.
i believe that one day,
when someone comes up to me
and ask me who's my best friend,
i can say:
MY SISTER.
:)

i really thank God for her.
and i think God has really changed her alot.
she's different.
and i know that both of us are slowly improving.
so that we can be better sisters to each other.
iloveher. :D

okok.
i kinda dont really like myself.
i thot i could live with the fact that it's over.
but the truth is,
it's deep down inside HERE.

i know they cared about my feelings too.
so they dint do until very obvious.
but i know.
i just know.
it's still obvious to me no matter how hard they try.
sigh.

but anyway,
it finally dawned on me that,
i do NOT want a boyfriend.
at least not yet.
i'm stiil wondering how jc ppl cope with BGR.
where got time to have bf sia.
hahaha.
ohh well.
i'll just have my eye candies for now.
no time for all that crap.
MR RIGHT just gotta wait.
:D

ohh yes.
my dearest Gina is in hospital now! :(
she fell off the bike that fateful chalet day.
and it was really really bad.
i was shocked when i saw the state she was in as she returned to the chalet.
it was horrendous. =X
i almost puke.
now u can see why i CANT be a doctor.

so anyway, we sent her home.
and her mum brought her to the hospital.
she took x-ray and found out that she fractured her facial bones!
poor girl.
i was so worried about her.

den one day she called me.
and she was crying.
den she told me she was going for an operation.
i was speechless.
i dint know how to comfort her.
i know she was afraid.
she msg me and said she was scared.
i experience that kind of fear before
as i have gone thru an operation last time.

to cut the long story short,
thank God she is now at TTS hospital.
SAFE AND SOUND.
the operation was a success!
PRAISE GOD!
i got as many people as i could to pray for her.
so you see,
praying does help. :)
now we shall just pray for speedy recovery!
and she'll be pretty as ever! :D

to GINA.
girl! you're so brave and i'm so proud of you!
please do rest well and DO NOT study.
i repeat, DO NOT STUDY k.
den u'll have a speedy recovery.
dont be sad anymore ya.
we can still organise outings again alright.
u must jiayou okay!
dont give up cuz the whole of 0607 will be behind ya!
JIAYOU.
we love you! :D

hmm that brings me to my next point.
remember the operation i went thru last yr?
well, i think that stupid bone is growing back.
and today was really bad.
the left side of my head was hurting so badly.
never before did i feel such pain.
to the extent that i was like holding my head all the time.
couldnt really think and walk properly.
and my guess is that stupid bone acting up.
but i hope i'm wrong.
cuz i dont wanna go thru another operation again.
i'll going for my check up at CGH tmr.
please pray for me.
thank you. :)

ohhyes.
did i ever mention that i love the physio team at CGH medical centre.
they rock can.
ever since i went in there,
they have been taking very good care of me.
many a times, the things they do make my injury hurt alot.
but that's how i can recover right?
the main thing is,
they make me feel loved.
a feeling i would like to call, FAMILY.
a sensitive word which i do not want to elaborate on.
they are just really nice people.

there is edmund.
his surname is NG too!
i could call him daddy man!
hahaha. :D
he's always the bad guy doing those painful massages
but i know it's for my own good.

and fawzi.
he's cute and funny.
but he's also the one always encouraging me.
like today,
he was like, go on vir!
and, you'll be alright vir.
:)

and pauline!
my physiotherapist!
those two mentioned above are the sports trainer btw.
so yea.
everytime she gives me the work out,
i'll frown a little.
and she'll be like, dont try that.
dont sulk.
in a joking way.
but surprisingly, it just keeps me going. :)

and this another physio!
whom i dont know his name.
heh.
he's just cute.
hahaha.
today he was like,
are you YUN WEN.
i was stunned.
and thot, why cant you say virnice instead?
hahaha.

and at that time, this new sports trainer was massaging my ITBs.
so after i told him, yes, i'm YUN WEN ( -.- )
den he was like, okay just checking.
and den he said, ENJOY.
so crappy!
but cute.
haha! :D

and last but not least,
DAVID!
hahaha.
he's just this male nurse there.
ready to help out.
and he just always ask me:
how? can? alright?
hahaha.
funny and nice guy. :)

so yupp.
that's about the physio team at CGH.
nice and loving people. :D

i guess everything is slowly starting to fall into place.
except for the fact that i'm so NOT ready for mid year CT!
AHHHH!!!!!
i really think i'm gonna flunk it.
serious.
no joke.
no what hidden tiger.
ahhhhh...
i'm so dead....

*God help me......

can i announce to the whole world that
ROYSTON and JENSON
are EVIL people?!!
-.-
i brought them lunch frm harbourfront mac to sentosa yest
and what i got from them are throws and pushes into the disgusting seawater
THANKS AH GUYS.
and ANGELA too!
u cant run away from the EVIL title girl!
throw sand into my shirt.
THANKS TOO!
-.-

hahaha.
but it was very funny.
quite enjoyable overall.
cuz i got my revenge.
muahaha.

and angela got herself stuck in this deep deep hole that jenson dugged.
hahaha.
super funny.
and i was NICE enuf to help her get out later okay!
and OHH OHH.
i made her into a mermaid!
with jenson's help on the SCALES.
hahaha.

it reminded me of those fun times i had with the efc people.
i recall jiamin being the mermaid the other time.
and mokkie was the one who "built" her.
the scales, tail and all.
super hilarious and fun.
it's kinda sad that what i'm left with are memories only.
:(

so anyway,
angela got really burnt.
and so did the rest of them.
all except ME.
hehehe.
they stayed so many hours in the hot scorching sun lah!
smart me chose to stay in the shade.
HEHE. :D

ohh btw,
did i mention that lately,
i'm eating ALOT?
i get hungry so easily!
wat's wrong with me!
i think depression.
hahaha!
LAME. -.-
p.s. i'm self entertaining.
HA-HA.

i'm going crazy lah.
cannot stand it.
i go high like so randomly can.
the craziness is killing me!
WOOHOO!

do you know i'm a BAI CHI?
hahaha.
CRAZY CRAZY!
why on earth am i feeling this way!
GO AWAY PLEASE.

sigh.

anybody wanna thon in mac with me to study?
i need it desperately.

i feel so drained out.
like every bit of my energy slowly going away.
things are starting to pile up.
more and more work to be done.
mid years are barely 3 weeks away.
and i hardly even started.
i desperately need help in my studies.
but everyone else desperately needs help too.
SIGH.

and more things to add on.
nationals is in a month's time.
i dont even feel prepared.
i'm scared.
really afraid.
dont wanna disappoint coach.
his faith in our batch feels like a burden to me.
it's so heavy that i cant seem to find anymore strength to carry it.
SIGH.

still, i wanna try my best.
i want US to try OUR best.
AJ track team shall rise up.
and we shall run like never before!
we'll make history. :)

DISTRACTIONS!
PLEASE GO AWAY!
I DONT NEED YOU NOW.
I NEED TO FOCUS.
CRUCIAL PERIOD NOW.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
GOD HELP ME.

you've changed.
you feel like a different person.
i dont seem to know you anymore.
but it's in a good way?
i guess so.
she's doing a good job.
and i'm happy for the both of you.
:)
if you really wanna help US,
we should keep a distance.
tho i would say we are already quite far now.
but not far enuf.
thanks for everything.
it seems like things can never be as before.
where i can just turn to u for any problems.
as a really good friend.
it's just not the same.
jiayou and God bless.

alright. here goes.
HELLO HELLO.
i'm back finally, after so long.
well, i've been really busy and all.
couldnt find time to blog.
but here i am. :)

actually, it's not really good news that i'm here.
cuz the only reason i'm here to blog is that i'm not feeling too good right now.
and nope, it's not over the same old topic mentioned in my previous posts.
i hate it because it's
MATTERS OF THE HEART.

i realised that i can really talk crap.
but when ask to confide in someone,
i cant bring myself to.
mayb because of past hurts, misused trust.
i dare not trust again.
so i resort to blogging,
which, i must admit, only helps me 50%.
i can say MANY THINGS but not EVERYTHING.

today was not a very good day for me.
quite embarrassing actually.
cuz i cried in the MRT and i was alone.
was supposed to go out with church peeps.
but i kena pangsehed.
and that feeling SUX.
i really mean it.
it's not the first time that happened to it.
but somehow, everytime it happens,
i just feel ultra depressed.
an unwanted kind of feeling.

one chose boyfriend over me.
the other, dint mentioned whether she was meeting a girl or a guy.
but my guess is it's probably a guy.
makes me wonder how much i actually mean to them.
also, it just gives me the sudden rush to have a boyfriend
so that i wont be pangsehed ever again.
seriously, i always thot friends are more reliable than BOYfriends.
but today proved me quite wrong.

ok. i know i look stupid crying over such small matter
and worst, in a PUBLIC place.
but it actually hurt me quite deep.
because i value them alot.
and frankly, zaizai's way of doing a handstand when u feel like crying
yet dont want the tears to flow out,
does not really work.
ok i dint do a handstand
but i looked up at the celling of the train for so long,
yet the tears still keep rolling down.
ultra CRAPPY.
and i hate that feeling.

msges kept coming in.
many notes of apologies.
i wasnt ANGRY.
i was SAD.
i know sad can turn into anger
but that wasnt happening to me when i dint reply those msges.
i just wanted time alone to think.
organise my thots and decide wat to reply them.
ohh well.

ok. back to the BOYFRIEND topic.
that's probably the cause of watever happened today.
actually, i'm quite happy that it's going to be ONE YEAR of my singlehood.
WOOHOO! :)
i guess being single has it's pros and cons.
but then again, i'm still YOUNG and dont wanna rush things.
no doubt i have my eye candies.
but so what?
they are just my unrealistic DREAMS/FANTASIES.
one good example is gentle giant.
this has been going on about close to a year or so?
things are still the way they are.
i cant even remember when was the last time i ever spoke him.
yet i always hear things concerning him.
and the mention of his name never fail to make me smile.
but so what?
dreams will always be dreams.
it's time i wake up.

i always believed in this:
被爱的感觉比去爱的感觉好吧

so can somebody tell me why i always fall in love with someone who doesnt love me
and not someone who loves me?

but frankly, i really dont like anybody NOW.
eyecandies not counted lo.
like i say, they are just DREAMS.

can somebody also tell me why even tho i dont like the person who likes me,
yet when i see him with another girl, i feel so lost?

it's because i'm so selfish.
i expect him to wait for me.
argh. i really hate this.

and all along i thought he was talking about me
when he had already moved on.
so "coincidental" that we both returned on the same day.
God, why are u playing such tricks on me.
and the stupid thing is,
i still dont know how i feel towards him!
i just feel so troubled by it.
the way u vanished frm my sight.
and the next thing is,
SHE vanishes frm my sight too.
and the worst thing is for my guess to be RIGHT.
you were waiting for her.

how foolish i am.
how stupid i am.
how selfish i am.
how naive i am.

mayb that's all that shld be said.
some things are indeed better left unsaid.
buried deep down in my heart.
who knows, but God.

and i cant even find a human to tell this to!
how pathetic can i get.

thanks to all my good friends out there.
who stood by me all this while.
i know this is a common thing to say, but,
IT'S REALLY NOT YOU, IT'S ME.
not willing to open up.
i'm sorry but i dare not trust again.
forgive me.

Dear Lord,
thank You for being with me all this while.
even those times of tears in the MRT,
i know You were there with me all along,
holding my hand tightly.
but Lord, i pray that You will tell me wat's going on.
why am i feeling this way Lord.
why did You play such a trick on me.
and why does the truth have to hurt so much.
Lord, i need strength from You.
You are probably the only one who truly appreciates me for who i am.
only You see the real me.
the one who is so weak inside yet trying to put up a brave front.
Lord, i dont wanna live a lie.
help me Dear Lord.
i need You and i love You so.
thank you Lord.
You're the only one i can trust.
please give me someone in human form whom i can really trust as well.
someone whom You can make use of that person's shoulders for me to lean on and to cry on.
guide me Lord.
thank you so much dear God.
in Jesus name i pray,
AMEN.

*sorry people.
i think i probably shocked you with such a returning post.
but that's what i've gotta say.
thanks for understanding.
LOVE.

HELLO.
i'm back.
first, let me reply those tags. heh. =X

13may07
to jasmine : let's go out soon! i'm movie deprived. :(

15may07
to ppk : when's the outing u pig?!! i havent heard anything from any of you! i miss you all real bad. :(

18may07
to xuan : i miss you too xuan! wait a while more! my letter's coming! i've got so much to tell ya! LOVE!

19may07
to char : AHHH!! i miss you girl! i guess i'm doing ok. still struggling with jc life tho. sian. how bout you? cant wait for the chalet! :D

22may07
to xiaoqigui : yes yes updating! :D and it's GOODBYE to my solo career. wahaha. thanks for ur support anyway. jiayou for gastronomy. :)

27may07
to rongjie : thanks so much for ur encouragement and CHOCOLATE! :D

28may07
to rebecca : girl! i almost DIED can! and you shld have seen the other side of jiazheng. hahaha. but his REAL side couldnt be covered up well either! WAHAHA! =X

31may07
to terence : thanks for being a regular of my blog! so sorry havent been updating! and thanks so much for the CHOCOLATE the other time! you rock. :D

V I R N I C E
there's no one else like me cause' God made me special. (:
virnice
eighteen
10.09.90
andersonjc
childofGOD
evangelite
dolphins
drummer
RUNNER
HURDLER.

LOVES God; chocoates&icecream; sports; family&frens; sleeping.
DISLIKES smokers; exams; vegetables; cockroaches&lizards!


visitors
with currently viewing.

go around the world.
laptop.
ipod.
grow taller.
grow thinner.
PROMOTE
top 8 for NATS.
improve drumming
sling bag/haversack
ace the As!

.alex
.alsyaari
.andrew
.angela
.austin
.benjamin
.berlin
.bernice
.bertrice
.bertrum
.christine
.chooshuin
.debra
.elvia
.esther
.ethan
.ernest
.evangel
.gabriel
.gina
.huikhoon
.ice
.ivan
.jasmine
.jexx
.jovin
.junying
.justinKHAW
.kangseng
.kenneth
.kent
.melissa
.michelle
.midori
.nelvin
.nelwyn
.nicholas
.nikki
.ppk
.quanhui
.rico
.rongjie
.royston
.samuel
.shaoming
.shanti
.shirley
.stephanie
.terence
.thilaiga
.TK+TMS
.tingzhe
.wanyi
.weisheng
.wenyi
.xiangxiang
.xuan
.yin lai
.yongyong
.yuanting
.zhimin
.zoe
.06/07

♥ October 2005
♥ November 2005
♥ December 2005
♥ January 2006
♥ February 2006
♥ March 2006
♥ May 2006
♥ June 2006
♥ August 2006
♥ September 2006
♥ October 2006
♥ November 2006
♥ December 2006
♥ January 2007
♥ February 2007
♥ March 2007
♥ April 2007
♥ May 2007
♥ June 2007
♥ July 2007
♥ August 2007
♥ September 2007
♥ October 2007
♥ November 2007
♥ December 2007
♥ May 2009
♥ June 2009
♥ July 2009
♥ December 2009
♥ March 2010
♥ May 2010