Monday, May 25, 2009
1:12 AM Y
♥ just the girl.
well, lately everything is going way way HORRIBLE.
i dont even know where to start ranting.
or mayb people are getting sick of me ranting.
AAHHHHH i just needa go some place and shout it all out.
cuz nowadays, crying dont seem to help.
so mayb shouting will..
and sigh, i hate to admit,
but i think i'm changing,
changing into a very short-tempered
and easily irritated person.
and the ironic thing is that,
i've been saying how change is a scary thing.
yet, the same is happening to myself.
how can i stop it.
mayb, keep myself happy?
how to keep myself happy,
i'm thinking...
and thinking...
and thinking..
final answer: NO ANSWER.
verdict is, I NEED TO EAT ICE CREAM NOW.
okay, i'll try
HAPPY THOTS now.
had like KILLER training on friday.
berenice from rgs came to aj to train.
and we did like 200m reps.
min was six and max was eight.
so guess how many i did?
like EIGHT TIMES LAH!
i still cant believe i did so many.
but the last two times was just to accompany berenice
if not she'll be running alone with the guys.
well, i struggled like mad.
it's like so much latic acid at my hamstrings and quartz.
but i didnt wanna give up or stop or finish with a lousy timing.
so even tho i have no more competitions already,
i still just whack all the way.
my timings were:
37s, 35s, 35s, 35s, 35s, 34s, 35s and 33.5s.
it's
CRAZY i tell you.
and coach was impressed too!
hahah.
and den he went on to say how i shld continue with track in uni.
continue running for another at least 3 years
so that my talent and efforts will not go to waste.
well, i'm still considering lah.
first thing first,
dont even know can go uni anot. =/
hopefully, by God's grace, i can.
den think again lo.
cuz might be abit sian of running le.
yet at the same time, dont really wanna give up track.
what a dilemma.
i'll just leave the thinking for the future.
right now, it's the As i'm fighting.
other happy thots include:
every moment spent with you.
minus all the lil arguements we had.
spending time with God.
hof and sunday service.
other than that, I FEEL LIKE SHIT now.
alright, enuf ranting and grumbling.
gonna try and do tutorials now.
HATE THEM.
sigh.
i'm OUT.
i miss those times when u were my wall.
if i hadnt acted on impulse then,
would things be better now?
would we have had a better friendship first?
would we have walk right with God?
would we not have bickered over lil and insignificant things?
sigh, all in all,
i know i still i love you..
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
12:02 AM Y
GP ESSSAAAYYY!
♥ just the girl.
ahhh why are my classmates all so hardworking? ):
my teacher forgot that we had to hand in an essay today!
cuz he was on mc last week and a relief teacher took over,
and asked us to write an essay over the weekend.
so my guess is he dint tell my teacher abt the homework.
but RRAAAHH. the gp rep is gonna tell him either tmr or wed.
so GREAT. i have to do it in the end. ):
so anyway, SPA IS FINALLY OVERRRRR!!
and i dont mean the bubbles and in hot tub kind.
*I WISH. hahah.
i meant like practicals!
WOOHOO.
so now it's down to As.
rahh my teachers are all going at a super fast speed for tutorials.
just when i thought i caught up with the class,
with many many many hours spent on doing that particular tutorial,
but the teacher used only ONE tutorial, and he/she is done.
and i'm lagging AGAIN.
OH MY GOSH.
when i ever gonna be on par with the teacher. -.-
i shall stop ranting before i start to rant.
hahah so dont make sense.
right, let me talk about sth happier!
TRAINING, RUNNING, WOOOHOOO.
even though training has been quite crazy,
i'm still enjoying every moment of it.
did like 5X200m last friday.
my timing was 38s, 37s, 35s, 34s and 33s.
yea, it's a downwards curve,
not so good cuz coach want straight line curve.
but i think it's a real achievement for me,
considering the fact that i havent been training for quite awhile heh.
and today, we did some crazy drill.
backward run, swiftly turn and sprint, jog,
backward run, swiftly turn and sprint and DISPERSE.
what's so funny abt that word i dont know,
cuz the track girls kept laughing at it heh.
and we did like FOUR times of that.
later it was starting blocks.
MY REACTION TIME IS SUPER SLOW CAN!
aiyo, very chi dun. ahhh.
and just when we thought we could cool down and go home,
coach said, DO 120m.
TWO TIMES CURVE, THREE TIMES STRAIGHT.
and all our jaws dropped hahah.
but den ms cai had me do sth,
so i missed one.
in the end they did 3 curves and 2 straight
while i did 2 each.
think coach changed cuz of me. =/
but anyway, it was just INSANE.
i did like 18.3s, 18.1s, 18.1s and 17.6s.
straight is much easier to run,
so dont be surprised at the difference in timing heh.
but anyway, other than the latic acid which hurt like mad,
the run was SHIOK. :D
okay back to boring stuff.
not much accomplisment for this week.
mayb just let me see if i managed to do anything on my TO DO LIST.
well, i finished one physics tutorial,
completed descriptive stats,
studied for phy spa skill A.
and that's about it.
hw due tmr: GP ESSSAAYYY!
so dead.
gonna try and do now.
but i still want my sleep! rahh.
OHH OHH!
and it's SAKAE BUFFET WITH DEAREST TMR!
cuz no afternoon PE!
WOOHOO!
SAKAE, HERE I COME! :D
Thursday, May 14, 2009
12:51 AM Y
hw, hw and more hw!
♥ just the girl.
HEEEEYYY!
sorry my blog died again for a few days.
keep falling aslp before turning off the laptop.
think my mum quite pekchek. =/
i dont blame her.
i think i'm gonna cause the electricity bill to go up this month!
rahh.
anyway, school has been horrible.
today got scolded by Ms Zhu cuz forgot all about geog hw. ):
i know she did it for our own good,
so i dont blame her at all.
but someone LIED.
sigh i'm so disappointed.
how can she say she looked thru the questions when just the period before,
she asked me the questions are from where..
totally unbelievable argh.
honestly, i hate that mugger place.
cant wait for As to end so i can finally leave that horrible place.
it's like fighting an endless war everyday.
trying to stay awake or not get caught for sleeping.
but it's just so difficult!
it's not that i'm not trying.
and i really really miss SHIRLEY ANG!
she was the one who helped me alot when i was in my 1st j1 year.
she BOTHERED to remind me abt hw and stuff to bring,
cuz she knows how forgetful i am,
EVEN after i wrote it down.
but now, NOONE.
who cares about virnice ng,
all i needa care about is myself.
HAHA.
ahhh whatever.
i should really stop being so judgemental
and just look at the state i am in.
mayb it's because i dont look bothered abt my studies
that's why nobody bothers to help.
rahh who cares.
all i know is i'm on my own now.
only reliable source of help: GOD.
i guess all i can do now is to try and be more discipline,
mug hard and trust God. (:
here are my accomplisments for this week till today!
#1
i finally packed my geog notes and binded them!
and i think i've integrated them.
hopefully, it's in the way Ms Zhu meant. =/
#2
i'm at least TRYING to do my physics tutorials.
#3
i PASSED my math common test!
it's really by God's grace i tell you.
left almost one whole question blank out of 3 questions,
and that question has the largest weightage.
but thank God i got 60%. (:
#4
i actually cut and printed out newspaper articles!
topic was on religion. but yay i finally did it.
i think that's abt all?
ohh ya!
and i had training today.
it was WWWOOOOOOHOOOOOO!
feels shiok to run again after so long!
even tho work out was quite a killer,
considering the fact that we havent been training for so long.
but still! it was nice! :D
ran four times of 120m, two curves and two straight.
timing was 19s, 18.6s, 17.8s and 18.0s.
quite consistent ba, so YAY. :D
and now, for my TO DO LIST!
#1
complete ALL incompleted physics tutorial.
#2
complete carboxylic tutorial.
#3
complete descriptive stats tutorial and sampling theory tutorial.
#4
study for phy SPA skill A! =/
#5
study for chem test: chem eqm, IE and ALL of organic chem till carbonyl. ):
#6
DO GEOG HW.
that's all for NOW.
dont know how i'm gonna do it.
RAAHHH.
God please help me. ):
alright,
i'll stop ranting here!
and i shld really start work now cuz descriptive stats is due tmr!
AAAAHHH.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
11:50 PM Y
perfect world, so NOT.
♥ just the girl.
hmm, well, i've been emo-ing and moody-ing lots today.
mainly cuz of my studies.
feel like i'm lagging behind, not catching up at all.
instead, i'm falling more and more behind.
i have no idea what's going on for physics, since FOREVER.
chemistry, since today.
math, since stats.
geog, since i dont even know when.
and I'M TAKING MY STUPID A LEVELS THIS YEAR.
the worst thing is, i dont even feel that i have anyone to turn to for help in my studies.
when i tell the adults, they say this is REALITY.
it's a cruel world out there and i'm on my OWN.
but you know what?
things could have been so different.
if only i had work harder when i was in j1 2007.
if only i could adapt to jc life faster.
if only i had managed my time properly.
if only now i had angela, clarissa and the other track girls to study with,
to ask for help in my studies when i needed.
if only i could study with darr.
if only shirley was with me.
if only i didnt retain.
IF ONLY.
the two of the worst words in the english dictionary.
i dont think i've ever felt so alone before in my life.
and i've been neglecting God too..
mayb that's why i'm feeling this way now..
I TOTALLY DESERVE IT.
I ASKED FOR IT.
have you ever ran a race and lagged behind so much that you cant find the motivation to push yourself any harder?
that's how i'm feeling right now.
everyone's in front and i'm all alone behind.
this is probably the 100th time i'm telling myself i can do it.
it's almost the end and i'm reaching.
but mayb i'm not gonna make it for the 101st time..
studies aside, there are other issues bothering me as well.
work, which my mum is really unhappy about.
track, which i think will close down soon cuz too much veggie.
bf, whom i miss like crazy.
dad, whom keep asking me abt my studies and bought this laptop for my education in uni.
which means, i'm like so DEAD if dont make it.
people, whose judgemental glances are putting me down.
i feel like giving up on my studies.
it's like never ending, and i'm not getting anywhere.
but at the same time, i dont wanna disappoint the people around me, who care for and love me..
sigh. i dont know what i shld do now..
it's really discouraging and demoralizing to keep failing your tests.
and i dont have much self discipline.
CRAP.
RAHH.
let's change topic ba.
well, i was just like looking at all the past photos that i took.
mostly at tanjong katong sec, track and stuff.
i look so fat then!
and i just suddenly started to recall those sec school days,
finishing school at 2 plus,
crossing the overhead bridge to take 33 home,
going to tampines stadium for training,
interclass netball,
1E 03/2E 04,
3G 05/4G 06,
times spent with shuyi, clar, weiqi, stef and other trackers,
with shan, nik, weirong,
taking lame photos with anne, yeok fei, ppk, rachel bok,
those childish conflicts,
chicken rice and crabmeat, etc.
and I REALLY REALLY REALLY MISS THOSE GOOD OLD DAYS.
where we were all still so young and innocent.
carefree, childish and playful.
i just wish i could turn back time and return to all those good times.
and now, just looking at my friends and the drastic changes that occurred,
really gives me a big shock and kinda saddens me..
i know people change.
but i guess i just dont know how to handle these changes.
alright, i'll end my crap here for today,
gonna TRY and study now sigh.
it's tutorial day tmr.
OHH YAY.
imagine a world where we had no choice.no choice but to believe in God.no choice but to do good all the time.will we all go to heaven then?
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
1:09 AM Y
MATH COMMON TEST!
♥ just the girl.
rahh i dont know what am i doing here when i have math common test tmr!
and i havent really studied for it. =/
it's gonna test on vectors, probability, binomial, poisson and normal distribution.
it's like YUCKS.
how come everyone says stats it's easy but it's not!
i know it's just keying numbers into the GC,
but i dont know what to key!
mayb i'm just pure dumb. ):
ohh ya, and apparently, tmr during the math test,
we're gonna have to take temperature. -.-
and i'm down with flu now!
keep sneezing non stop. ):
keep me in prayer everyone!
other than that, today is like every other day, BORING.
ohh ohh, and no more chem spa FOREVER!
thank God for giving me a good memory today.
even tho i studied skill A like quite last minute,
and i know i have one or two mistakes already,
i still wanna thank God that i managed to remember all those words
and even managed to finish on time!
WOOTS. praise God. (:
okay, gonna go MUG now.
BYEBYE BRAINS.
missing you.. ):
Sunday, May 03, 2009
11:32 PM Y
BLOG REVIVED
♥ just the girl.
HEEELLLOOOOO EVERYONE! :D
haha this is gonna be a short post.
thanks to shawn, i'm reminded of this blog!
wanted to create a new one but was too lazy to do so heh.
so found this one and decided to use it again!
it's actually quite nice, my taste not bad hehe. :P
anyway, i got chem SPA for skill A tmr!
so so dead.
gonna go MUG now.
hate JC life.
cant wait for it to end. ):
hear from me soon! (:
